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 and i dont wanna go on the naughty step 
mine :
does great panda impression, obviously not encountered many naked female bodies lately, good thing was the kettle had boiled by the time he decided to exit and was able to have a coffee.
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"Totally [redacted] "haha you need to fill in the gaps!! | |||
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"Oh so tempted but not ready for the fallout of that one so instead I will go with. It took me by surprise when you roared like an actual goddamn lion when you came. J" Did you laugh like a hyena when he did? | |||
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"A few months ago now... As if my night couldn't get any worse, I was greeted by this walking horror show. She came across to me pulling her knickers out of her arse crack (thinking I didn't notice) and then proceeded to bore me to death with tales about how good she was at this and that and how successful she is in life. If she had used some of that energy in cleaning her teeth it might have helped. Her breath smelled like she had blown off a tramp who had rimmed another tramp. No idea how she manages to pull as her face was worse than a bag of smashed crabs. I would sooner kiss the tramp that was rimming another tramp than put my lips to this beast. she asked me for sex but I would only do it with a bag on her head and on mine (in case hers fell off) and I was considering it. That was until I caught sight of her labia hanging down between her knees. Pretty off putting as fucking her would be like throwing a sausage into an oven. A huge industrial sized one at that. We left, barely on speaking terms after she thought it was funny to fart, cup it and put it in my face. I think she was a vegan. I truly hope I never see her again. Luckily I will probably smell her long before I see her. How can you forget the smell of a long dead rodent, dripping in Yardley perfume. Treat this one with respect." positive encounter then !! | |||
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said he would be 40 minutes and arrived over 2 hours later, by which time the mood had wained some what! Was like a puppy on speed expecting a slap and proceeded to throw around a bag of 'toys'. Looked more like the contents from his recent 'heist'. his words totally failed him and he honestly looked like he needed to pee really badly - told him where the bathroom was if he needed it!
Proceeded to drop his trousers and waved his cock around as if he was trying to get lift off. Rolled a spliff and said he was so excited he needed to calm his nerves!
Sulked like a 2 yr old when it was explained he wouldn't be smoking that here!
Felt like cleopatra as i lay naked on the bed and explained that this would not be happening any time soon and that the best thing would be for him to refind his vehicle and work out how to get back to the hole he crawled out of | |||
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"A few months ago now... As if my night couldn't get any worse, I was greeted by this walking horror show. She came across to me pulling her knickers out of her arse crack (thinking I didn't notice) and then proceeded to bore me to death with tales about how good she was at this and that and how successful she is in life. If she had used some of that energy in cleaning her teeth it might have helped. Her breath smelled like she had blown off a tramp who had rimmed another tramp. No idea how she manages to pull as her face was worse than a bag of smashed crabs. I would sooner kiss the tramp that was rimming another tramp than put my lips to this beast. she asked me for sex but I would only do it with a bag on her head and on mine (in case hers fell off) and I was considering it. That was until I caught sight of her labia hanging down between her knees. Pretty off putting as fucking her would be like throwing a sausage into an oven. A huge industrial sized one at that. We left, barely on speaking terms after she thought it was funny to fart, cup it and put it in my face. I think she was a vegan. I truly hope I never see her again. Luckily I will probably smell her long before I see her. How can you forget the smell of a long dead rodent, dripping in Yardley perfume. Treat this one with respect. positive encounter then !! "At least he kept his self respect and didn’t go with the, “i have come all this way” mentality!! So many don’t  | |||
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"A few months ago now... As if my night couldn't get any worse, I was greeted by this walking horror show. She came across to me pulling her knickers out of her arse crack (thinking I didn't notice) and then proceeded to bore me to death with tales about how good she was at this and that and how successful she is in life. If she had used some of that energy in cleaning her teeth it might have helped. Her breath smelled like she had blown off a tramp who had rimmed another tramp. No idea how she manages to pull as her face was worse than a bag of smashed crabs. I would sooner kiss the tramp that was rimming another tramp than put my lips to this beast. she asked me for sex but I would only do it with a bag on her head and on mine (in case hers fell off) and I was considering it. That was until I caught sight of her labia hanging down between her knees. Pretty off putting as fucking her would be like throwing a sausage into an oven. A huge industrial sized one at that. We left, barely on speaking terms after she thought it was funny to fart, cup it and put it in my face. I think she was a vegan. I truly hope I never see her again. Luckily I will probably smell her long before I see her. How can you forget the smell of a long dead rodent, dripping in Yardley perfume. Treat this one with respect. positive encounter then !! "To be fair she was hot AF and I had left her a great one before  | |||
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"ok i have another
said he would be 40 minutes and arrived over 2 hours later, by which time the mood had wained some what! Was like a puppy on speed expecting a slap and proceeded to throw around a bag of 'toys'. Looked more like the contents from his recent 'heist'. his words totally failed him and he honestly looked like he needed to pee really badly - told him where the bathroom was if he needed it!
Proceeded to drop his trousers and waved his cock around as if he was trying to get lift off. Rolled a spliff and said he was so excited he needed to calm his nerves!
Sulked like a 2 yr old when it was explained he wouldn't be smoking that here!
Felt like cleopatra as i lay naked on the bed and explained that this would not be happening any time soon and that the best thing would be for him to refind his vehicle and work out how to get back to the hole he crawled out of "
Classic | |||
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"Wake me up when you are done. " Quality | |||
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"Wake me up when you are done. " dont you love it when its that exciting | |||
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"Found my favourite thread lol. " | |||
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" An intelligent woman who relies on her good looks and attractive figure to cover unnecessarily rude conduct which reveals a character lacking in understanding of basic civility and devoid of empathy. " hello GF - oooh sounds interesting | |||
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" An intelligent woman who relies on her good looks and attractive figure to cover unnecessarily rude conduct which reveals a character lacking in understanding of basic civility and devoid of empathy. " A very well written verification….i doubt her inbox would dry up of offers | |||
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"so ... that meet didnt go as you had planned and we all know veri's are like a job reference, who gives a bad one ..... what would be the real one you would like to give 'that' person! obviously anonymous, there's rules ya know and i dont wanna go on the naughty step
mine :
does great panda impression, obviously not encountered many naked female bodies lately, good thing was the kettle had boiled by the time he decided to exit and was able to have a coffee.
"oh I think I've met the same person in the past.. | |||
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"A few months ago now... As if my night couldn't get any worse, I was greeted by this walking horror show. She came across to me pulling her knickers out of her arse crack (thinking I didn't notice) and then proceeded to bore me to death with tales about how good she was at this and that and how successful she is in life. If she had used some of that energy in cleaning her teeth it might have helped. Her breath smelled like she had blown off a tramp who had rimmed another tramp. No idea how she manages to pull as her face was worse than a bag of smashed crabs. I would sooner kiss the tramp that was rimming another tramp than put my lips to this beast. she asked me for sex but I would only do it with a bag on her head and on mine (in case hers fell off) and I was considering it. That was until I caught sight of her labia hanging down between her knees. Pretty off putting as fucking her would be like throwing a sausage into an oven. A huge industrial sized one at that. We left, barely on speaking terms after she thought it was funny to fart, cup it and put it in my face. I think she was a vegan. I truly hope I never see her again. Luckily I will probably smell her long before I see her. How can you forget the smell of a long dead rodent, dripping in Yardley perfume. Treat this one with respect." Good. God. | |||
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"A few months ago now... As if my night couldn't get any worse, I was greeted by this walking horror show. She came across to me pulling her knickers out of her arse crack (thinking I didn't notice) and then proceeded to bore me to death with tales about how good she was at this and that and how successful she is in life. If she had used some of that energy in cleaning her teeth it might have helped. Her breath smelled like she had blown off a tramp who had rimmed another tramp. No idea how she manages to pull as her face was worse than a bag of smashed crabs. I would sooner kiss the tramp that was rimming another tramp than put my lips to this beast. she asked me for sex but I would only do it with a bag on her head and on mine (in case hers fell off) and I was considering it. That was until I caught sight of her labia hanging down between her knees. Pretty off putting as fucking her would be like throwing a sausage into an oven. A huge industrial sized one at that. We left, barely on speaking terms after she thought it was funny to fart, cup it and put it in my face. I think she was a vegan. I truly hope I never see her again. Luckily I will probably smell her long before I see her. How can you forget the smell of a long dead rodent, dripping in Yardley perfume. Treat this one with respect. Good. God." Leave God out of this one, it’s clearly the Devils work | |||
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" An intelligent woman who relies on her good looks and attractive figure to cover unnecessarily rude conduct which reveals a character lacking in understanding of basic civility and devoid of empathy. A very well written verification….i doubt her inbox would dry up of offers "You are not wrong. Still it was quite cathartic to get it out of my system without offending anyone. Good thread OP. | |||
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" An intelligent woman who relies on her good looks and attractive figure to cover unnecessarily rude conduct which reveals a character lacking in understanding of basic civility and devoid of empathy. A very well written verification….i doubt her inbox would dry up of offers
You are not wrong. Still it was quite cathartic to get it out of my system without offending anyone.
Good thread OP. "Exactly all done tongue in cheek and never name and shame. It takes all sorts to make a world and that goes for the Fab world
I am all out there f inspiration for the day  | |||
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"It’s from years back and it made Giggle giggle. When she said, “she would devour me”, she wasn’t kidding!! She went at my dick like she hadn’t eaten in a week! Doesn’t read cues very well and had to physically remove her from my wounded appendage. I was promised the ride of my life but unfortunately if she was a jockey at the Grand National she would have been shot after the race!! She didn’t like it when i rolled her over and ignored all requests to go harder as to go any harder would have needed a trip to A&E. Excellent conversation though! "Are you certain this was a few years ago? 
Sounds like me and you’ve not met me, or have you?  | |||
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"so ... that meet didnt go as you had planned and we all know veri's are like a job reference, who gives a bad one ..... what would be the real one you would like to give 'that' person! obviously anonymous, there's rules ya know and i dont wanna go on the naughty step
mine :
does great panda impression, obviously not encountered many naked female bodies lately, good thing was the kettle had boiled by the time he decided to exit and was able to have a coffee.
oh I think I've met the same person in the past.. " | |||
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"My veri: Nice girl, thank you for the tea although a little milky. The blowjob could have been less toothy and I fear I may have bite marks on my dingaling for quite some time " not laughing, not laughing - well not laughing much - seems you guys suffer quite a bit with toothy BJ's | |||
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" An intelligent woman who relies on her good looks and attractive figure to cover unnecessarily rude conduct which reveals a character lacking in understanding of basic civility and devoid of empathy. A very well written verification….i doubt her inbox would dry up of offers
You are not wrong. Still it was quite cathartic to get it out of my system without offending anyone.
Good thread OP. "Thank you GF - blame someone i was chatting with and laughing like a drain, he was my Muse for this | |||
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"so ... that meet didnt go as you had planned and we all know veri's are like a job reference, who gives a bad one ..... what would be the real one you would like to give 'that' person! obviously anonymous, there's rules ya know and i dont wanna go on the naughty step
mine :
does great panda impression, obviously not encountered many naked female bodies lately, good thing was the kettle had boiled by the time he decided to exit and was able to have a coffee.
"Verifications are subjective.Different people can have different opinions about the same person.Some people are not inclined to give verifications.I can't say i have seen people write many bad ones? Best sometimes not to jump straight in? | |||
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