FabSwingers.com forum: Jealousy

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

My real Dad is someone I don't have anything to do with, last time we spoke was when my Nev died. Now my brother and sis still see him nd no doubt my sis will post pictures of their weekend together ( he's going up to them the weekend)

Last time it made me cry, I felt jealous don't know why as I've a dad my stepdad.

I really despise my real dad so why do I feel like this?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"My real Dad is someone I don't have anything to do with, last time we spoke was when my Nev died. Now my brother and sis still see him nd no doubt my sis will post pictures of their weekend together ( he's going up to them the weekend)

Last time it made me cry, I felt jealous don't know why as I've a dad my stepdad.

I really despise my real dad so why do I feel like this? "

Do you feel cheated maybe? That they can continue to have a relationship with him and for whatever reason you are unable to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You clearly don't like the man who is your father but that doesn't stop you from pining for a relationship you would have wanted to have had that you see others have had with their fathers, even your own siblings.

I haven't seen my own father for 25 years but that was down to him cutting us out and now I'm a little like you in so much as I'd love to have had a father/son relationship that others have had, and still have, but it will never be. I have a great stepfather and I love him to bits but the blood link will never exist between us.

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

Easy to say, and something I realised mentally and emotionally many years ago. Just 'cos you're related to someone there is no rule that says you have to love them.

Families, at least you can choose your friends.

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By *picenicelyCouple
over a year ago

third star on the right

Has he approached you to try to get your relationship to be the same as your siblings?

Could it be that you want him to want that with you, or visibly grieve/regret that he doesn't?

Also they are able to develop good memories with a man you despise it is pretty irksome to see all of the nice things happening and in some ways feeling left out which could be felt as jealousy, perhaps?

Our feelings and the ways that they manifest are seemingly illogical at times.

Hugs in advance for the new pics tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps you miss the relationship and the bond, but find it hard to accept the parent, for whatever reason.

I was estranged from my dad but was very sad about certain aspects of it and a counsellor suggested the above as an explanation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I turned my back on my parents over 5 years ago. The cost was high, I have no contact with any family and also lost a noticable number of friends. My parents are not nice people, it was my choice and one I have never regretted.

But it sure as hell hurts. All I ever wanted was parents that were proud of me, it would have been nice if they'd loved me but in all honesty I'd have settled for liking me. And I do get hurt and I do get upset when I see others having a relationship with their own parenst that I never had and never will have.

I think we all expect pretty much unconditional love from our parents and if we don't get it then it leaves an unescapable void.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Last time it made me cry, I felt jealous don't know why as I've a dad my stepdad.

I really despise my real dad so why do I feel like this?

Do you feel cheated maybe? That they can continue to have a relationship with him and for whatever reason you are unable to?"

I think so as he was a right bastard to our mom but I also feel betrayal for our stepdad who as been our dad and done everything for us. Not that he would mind me having a relationship with him as he's lovely. It's something I need to get my head around I think

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Has he approached you to try to get your relationship to be the same as your siblings?

Could it be that you want him to want that with you, or visibly grieve/regret that he doesn't?

Our feelings and the ways that they manifest are seemingly illogical at times.

Hugs in advance for the new pics tho

No he as not and he goes to Birmingham often to see my brother and sister.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

Forcing a relationship with my Dad wasn't worth the constant hurt and betrayal he caused for the sake of having a Dad...

I still believe I did the right thing by cutting him out of my life but of course I still feel hurt when I see the relationship some other's have with their fathers... It's natural to want that.

It's just one of those things where you need to decide what's right for YOU. If you do ever want a relationship with him, don't be afraid to make the first move. I'm sure your step-father and mother would understand.

- Amy. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when i was a kid i was quite close to my dad not when i got older though,

my older sister turned him against me, as well. when he died he left me some money which i thought was realy nice of him, but i would of prefered him to be nicer to me when he was alive.

he wasnt always there for me and could be quite nasty at times.

i still miss him though, because of how close we were when i was a kid and i think of all the things he had done for me.

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