FabSwingers.com forum: Men of the lounge-what women do wrong

By (user no longer on site) OP
22 weeks ago

**a lighthearted thread**

Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? Have we bit it

? Not got the right ratio of sucking and saliva?

This is a safe space to say where women have succeeded in being shit

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By *he Silver FuxMan
22 weeks ago

Uttoxeter

"**a lighthearted thread**

Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? Have we bit it

? Not got the right ratio of sucking and saliva?

This is a safe space to say where women have succeeded in being shit

It’s a trap!

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By *ust want fun 888Man
22 weeks ago

nearby

Nothing bad to say really, in my young teenage days, yeah, but we were all a little unqualified at the time, was all about experimenting

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By *illDoXXXMan
22 weeks ago

Preston

"**a lighthearted thread**

Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? Have we bit it

? Not got the right ratio of sucking and saliva?

This is a safe space to say where women have succeeded in being shit

I rarely (read never) come from just oral, some ladies have taken great offence to that, like it’s either my fault or I don’t think they are sexy enough !)!

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
22 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

There was a girl, when I was younger, who was just *too* enthusiastic. Gripped too tightly with her hands. And her lips. Sucked really hard. Went completely over the top. She literally tore the skin of my cock. Left me bleeding. Left scars. They healed up eventually though.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

If this was a "what do men do wrong" thread it'd be at 175 by now.

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By *mf123Man
22 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

Try to tell me what to do stop its nagging

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
22 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

I mean, I can probably dredge up a few more bad memories but there’s no way I’m getting the thread to 175 on my own.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
22 weeks ago

Essex

"Try to tell me what to do stop its nagging "

Stop getting it wrong and we stop nagging….

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By *irwanksalot69Man
22 weeks ago

Birmingham

Teeth. Braces. I will say no more.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
22 weeks ago

Essex

"I mean, I can probably dredge up a few more bad memories but there’s no way I’m getting the thread to 175 on my own."

It’s ok. I’ve got your back

Just my techniques alone can get it to 160….

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By *allandathleticMan
22 weeks ago

Asgard

"A safe space"

Gents don't forget your Miranda Rights

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By *aM 689Man
22 weeks ago

Lanarkshire

"If this was a "what do men do wrong" thread it'd be at 175 by now."

1. Breathe

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
22 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

Ask us to make a decision, you know that's not happening

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By *hunky GentMan
22 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

It's when she actually Blows.

We're not the autopilot from 'Airplane'.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"If this was a "what do men do wrong" thread it'd be at 175 by now."

We daren't comment on the grounds we might incriminate ourselves and then ruin even the slight chance that a female of the species might come within five yards of our pretty penises

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By *cotsguyyMan
22 weeks ago

Belfast

"**a lighthearted thread**

Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? Have we bit it

? Not got the right ratio of sucking and saliva?

This is a safe space to say where women have succeeded in being shit

. . .... .. .......and quietly walking back out of the room again.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

You all seem to swipe the wrong way

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
22 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Just my techniques alone can get it to 160…."

My only complaint about sex with you is that we haven’t done it again yet.

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By *hunky GentMan
22 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I mean, I can probably dredge up a few more bad memories but there’s no way I’m getting the thread to 175 on my own.

It’s ok. I’ve got your back

Just my techniques alone can get it to 160…."

I'd quite happily give you my opinion on if anything is wrong with your technique.

Maybe 4 or 5 BJs to get a full evaluation

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"If this was a "what do men do wrong" thread it'd be at 175 by now.

1. Breathe

Why do you do it so loud though!?

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By *aM 689Man
22 weeks ago

Lanarkshire

"If this was a "what do men do wrong" thread it'd be at 175 by now.

1. Breathe

Why do you do it so loud though!?

2. Leave the toilet seat up

Why does that infuriate women ?

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By *ex HolesMan
22 weeks ago

Up North

You shoot your shot too high then blame #allmen

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By *allandathleticMan
22 weeks ago

Asgard

The way you can't organise a food shopping list in order or Isles infuriates me. Doubling back to get the milk and then the shower gel...

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By *allandathleticMan
22 weeks ago

Asgard

"You shoot your shot too high then blame #allmen"

#notallmen

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"The way you can't organise a food shopping list in order or Isles infuriates me. Doubling back to get the milk and then the shower gel...

Who the fuck organises a food shopping list?!?

You have to wander aimlessly up and down else you'll miss the bargains.

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By *allandathleticMan
22 weeks ago

Asgard

"The way you can't organise a food shopping list in order or Isles infuriates me. Doubling back to get the milk and then the shower gel...

Who the fuck organises a food shopping list?!?

You have to wander aimlessly up and down else you'll miss the bargains."

NO. JUST NO.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
22 weeks ago

Essex

"Just my techniques alone can get it to 160….

My only complaint about sex with you is that we haven’t done it again yet."

Best you get your fucking arse in gear then….

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By *r John WickMan
22 weeks ago

The Continental

Surely the only correct answer…….is that…..they do nothing wrong.

Anything else will just earn you a bollock chopping.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
22 weeks ago

Essex

"I mean, I can probably dredge up a few more bad memories but there’s no way I’m getting the thread to 175 on my own.

It’s ok. I’ve got your back

Just my techniques alone can get it to 160….

I'd quite happily give you my opinion on if anything is wrong with your technique.

Maybe 4 or 5 BJs to get a full evaluation

I don’t do bjs….:

There we go. That’s at least 120 on the shit-shag scale.

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By *wiss Army KnifeMan
22 weeks ago

Second star to the right…

Steps very slowly away from this thread…. I don’t fancy a lynching tonight

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"**a lighthearted thread**

Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? ….,"

I hope so

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By *ust another WonkoMan
22 weeks ago

here and there

They don't appreciate the genius that is Wonko

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By *allandathleticMan
22 weeks ago

Asgard

I don’t do bjs….:

There we go. That’s at least 120 on the shit-shag scale."

Me neither

I don't do very good sex either. I lay there like a manikin with a carrot stuff to his pelvis

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By *nnCeeWoman
22 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

"Try to tell me what to do stop its nagging "

Have you tried punctuation?

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By *rHotNottsMan
22 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I mean, I can probably dredge up a few more bad memories but there’s no way I’m getting the thread to 175 on my own."

There was a girl who used to appear whistling at my bedroom window in the night , I would sneak out she would’ve yank my cock so hard I was certain my foreskin would snap off. I used to make sure I wasn’t leaning against a wall, At the time I thought my cock was broken but I guess she did me a favour loosening it up

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By *nnCeeWoman
22 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

""A safe space"

Gents don't forget your Miranda Rights

Only applicable in America, sorry bud.

You've been watching too much imported TV. Here, we have 'Police Caution'. Similar, but not the same.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
22 weeks ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"You shoot your shot too high then blame #allmen

#notallmen"

#sometallmen

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By *hunky GentMan
22 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

""A safe space"

Gents don't forget your Miranda Rights

Only applicable in America, sorry bud.

You've been watching too much imported TV. Here, we have 'Police Caution'. Similar, but not the same."

Just the facts ma'am, just the facts.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"You shoot your shot too high then blame #allmen

#notallmen

#sometallmen"

#NotallMetalMen

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By *nnCeeWoman
22 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

"The way you can't organise a food shopping list in order or Isles infuriates me. Doubling back to get the milk and then the shower gel...

Have you tried reading the list BEFORE you set out? That way, you'd know what you have to get... and you can organise your own route around store...?!

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By *allandathleticMan
22 weeks ago

Asgard

""A safe space"

Gents don't forget your Miranda Rights

Only applicable in America, sorry bud.

You've been watching too much imported TV. Here, we have 'Police Caution'. Similar, but not the same."

I stand corrected.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Ladies, you need to just buy me doughnuts beforehand. Sweeten me up a little before you try to just get inside my pants

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By *nnCeeWoman
22 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

"Who the fuck organises a food shopping list?!?"

Packing list, absolutely.

Shopping list? No. It gets added to, as things run out/are decided upon.

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By *nnCeeWoman
22 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

""A safe space"

Gents don't forget your Miranda Rights

Only applicable in America, sorry bud.

You've been watching too much imported TV. Here, we have 'Police Caution'. Similar, but not the same.

I stand corrected."

Good lad

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By *nimaginativeUsernameMan
22 weeks ago

Rochester, Kent

I’m going to take a risk, and mention that I don’t like a woman spitting on my cock during a bj.

Ruins it for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"Ladies, you need to just buy me doughnuts beforehand. Sweeten me up a little before you try to just get inside my pants

Pack of 5 jam doughnuts?

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By *ex HolesMan
22 weeks ago

Up North

"You shoot your shot too high then blame #allmen

#notallmen

#sometallmen

#NotallMetalMen"

#smallmentoo

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By *layfullsamMan
22 weeks ago

Solihull

I’m getting my own back because it’s to good an opportunity to miss

So “everything” you do is wrong

Obviously it’s not but I wanted you to share the pain us guys go through

Hear endeth Sam’s sex life on fab

lol

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
22 weeks ago

chichester

"I’m going to take a risk, and mention that I don’t like a woman spitting on my cock during a bj.

Ruins it for me. "

Totally agree on this or even worse when they try spit in your mouth / face

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
22 weeks ago

Essex

I don’t do bjs….:

There we go. That’s at least 120 on the shit-shag scale.

Me neither

I don't do very good sex either. I lay there like a manikin with a carrot stuff to his pelvis

Carrot? Damn. I wanted a cucumber

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By *allandathleticMan
22 weeks ago

Asgard

I don’t do bjs….:

There we go. That’s at least 120 on the shit-shag scale.

Me neither

I don't do very good sex either. I lay there like a manikin with a carrot stuff to his pelvis

Carrot? Damn. I wanted a cucumber "

Baby carrot at that as well... nature was unfair in many ways.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
22 weeks ago

Thanks to the 2 that posted with a light hearted answer...but an answer it was

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Women in the forum don’t do anything wrong

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
22 weeks ago

chichester

"Women in the forum don’t do anything wrong

Creep lol

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By *nnCeeWoman
22 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

"I’m going to take a risk, and mention that I don’t like a woman spitting on my cock during a bj.

Ruins it for me.

Totally agree on this or even worse when they try spit in your mouth / face "

Just dirty. Didn't your Mamma teach you never to spit?!

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
22 weeks ago

Southampton

"Ladies, you need to just buy me doughnuts beforehand. Sweeten me up a little before you try to just get inside my pants

Krispy Kreme?? With sprinkles??

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"Ladies, you need to just buy me doughnuts beforehand. Sweeten me up a little before you try to just get inside my pants

Pack of 5 jam doughnuts?"

Yeah, go on. I'm sure the sugar and jam can find its way into some interesting places

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"The way you can't organise a food shopping list in order or Isles infuriates me. Doubling back to get the milk and then the shower gel...

Who the fuck organises a food shopping list?!?

You have to wander aimlessly up and down else you'll miss the bargains.

NO. JUST NO."

I’m with T&A, and that’s not tits and ass of Coyote, organising a food shopping list by the path you will take makes the most logical sense to me. Any other way of organising a food shopping list is just madness.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"Women in the forum don’t do anything wrong

Creep lol

I’m wise enough to know when to keep my mouth shut.

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By *allipygousMan
22 weeks ago

Leicester

"I’m going to take a risk, and mention that I don’t like a woman spitting on my cock during a bj.

Ruins it for me.

Totally agree on this or even worse when they try spit in your mouth / face "

Never had anyone spit in my mouth and nor would I want to. However, I actually don't mind my cock being spat on.

Different strokes for different folks, but I like a firm sucking and my foreskin pulled back, not a light suck where my cock is hardly being touched. Sometimes have to instruct to suck harder, even using their finger to demonstrate how hard I'd like it.

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By *unchalMan
22 weeks ago

Dartford

[Removed by poster at 24/06/24 19:00:36]

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By *unchalMan
22 weeks ago

Dartford

Blinking heck. Women never grip hard enough or slide their fingers in deep enough while sucking hard enough. I imagine they have no idea what men want because how could they possible want anymore than their vagina. Maybe that is just my experience. I once have sex with a much older woman (when I was much younger than I am) who was like a whirling Dervish regardless of where I stuck my cock. I was convinced that eventually she was going to twist my cock off. She was a nice woman.

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
22 weeks ago

My boudoir - S Wales

Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral? "

I've snapped 2.

So proud.

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
22 weeks ago

My boudoir - S Wales

"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?

I've snapped 2.

So proud."

That’s good going! I’m impressed! I’ve been trying for 20+years!

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By *arlot o scaraWoman
22 weeks ago

Hell

"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral? "

I did this years ago. He was screaming, there was blood everywhere. I got dressed and left

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
22 weeks ago

My boudoir - S Wales

"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?

I did this years ago. He was screaming, there was blood everywhere. I got dressed and left "

I had that Homer Simpson disappearing into a bush gif in my head when I read that

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By *a LunaWoman
22 weeks ago

South Wales

Ready to take notes….

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By *ootyfruityCouple
22 weeks ago

andover

Try adding a little hawk tuah to that thang and your good

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?

I've snapped 2.

So proud.

That’s good going! I’m impressed! I’ve been trying for 20+years!"

What in the hell is the matter with you people?

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?

I've snapped 2.

So proud.

That’s good going! I’m impressed! I’ve been trying for 20+years!

What in the hell is the matter with you people?

Looking for a third...

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
22 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

"Try adding a little hawk tuah to that thang and your good

Ffs I was gonna say that

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By *intiemintieWoman
22 weeks ago

Scottish Borders

Sharp lil teeth

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?

I've snapped 2.

So proud.

That’s good going! I’m impressed! I’ve been trying for 20+years!

What in the hell is the matter with you people?

Looking for a third...

But just to be clear, the blowjob IS included?

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?

I've snapped 2.

So proud.

That’s good going! I’m impressed! I’ve been trying for 20+years!

What in the hell is the matter with you people?

Looking for a third...

But just to be clear, the blowjob IS included?"

Blowjob and a free visit to a&e

Bargain!

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
22 weeks ago

Southampton

"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?

I've snapped 2.

So proud.

That’s good going! I’m impressed! I’ve been trying for 20+years!

What in the hell is the matter with you people?

Looking for a third...

But just to be clear, the blowjob IS included?"

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By *r SproutMan
22 weeks ago

the middle

Where do i start

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By *intiemintieWoman
22 weeks ago

Scottish Borders

"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?

I've snapped 2.

So proud.

That’s good going! I’m impressed! I’ve been trying for 20+years!

What in the hell is the matter with you people?

Looking for a third...

But just to be clear, the blowjob IS included?

Sharp lil teeth

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral?

I've snapped 2.

So proud.

That’s good going! I’m impressed! I’ve been trying for 20+years!

What in the hell is the matter with you people?

Looking for a third...

But just to be clear, the blowjob IS included?

Blowjob and a free visit to a&e

Bargain!"

Considering how hard it normally is to get seen to, I see no downside!

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By *egDaySkipperMan
22 weeks ago

Liverpool

Don't use their teeth! Bite that motherfucker

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By *mf123Man
22 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

"Try to tell me what to do stop its nagging

Have you tried punctuation?

"
i actively avoid it its my rebelion

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By *odgerMooreMan
22 weeks ago

Fulwood

I very rarely orgasm through penetrative sex - I orgasm every time…. But the sex happens very rarely!!

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By *ensualplay69Man
22 weeks ago

slough

"**a lighthearted thread**

Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? Have we bit it

? Not got the right ratio of sucking and saliva?

This is a safe space to say where women have succeeded in being shit

"
telling us not to stop

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
22 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

"Don't use their teeth! Bite that motherfucker

Spit on that thang

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
22 weeks ago

Essex

"Don't use their teeth! Bite that motherfucker

Spit on that thang

Hawk tuah

(Nibble, bite, chomp)

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
22 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

"Don't use their teeth! Bite that motherfucker

Spit on that thang

Hawk tuah

(Nibble, bite, chomp)"

You've clearly been sent approximately 250 memes like I have too

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By *icentiousCouple
22 weeks ago

Up on them there hills

Multiple orgasms an be a pain, like, why not go for one big one? Bacon sandwiches don’t cook themselves

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By *Silver-Man
22 weeks ago

Mold

Communication

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By *appytojoininMan
22 weeks ago

derby

"**a lighthearted thread**

Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? Have we bit it

? Not got the right ratio of sucking and saliva?

This is a safe space to say where women have succeeded in being shit

To be fare women do pretty good. Surprisingly guys have less of an idea. I’ve had wanking to hard, teach chafing, trying to stick finger up arse with no lube.

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By *agnar73Man
22 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"**a lighthearted thread**

Do we grip too hard? Or not hard enough? Has a women thought your penis is a can of squirty cream? Have we bit it

? Not got the right ratio of sucking and saliva?

This is a safe space to say where women have succeeded in being shit

Can think of one that near squeezed life out me, a hell of a grip.

When a younger man, in nineties, was the ‘seduce me’ ones that lay there like an ironing board.

I suppose a couple did improve and get funky but can remember one where I tried not to laugh at her lying stone still. I don’t want to think if she’s still like that.

I don’t want to think d*unk women and the walk you home, get you a taxi sort of nights

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By *oiluvfunMan
22 weeks ago

Penrith

Mostly they expect you to have a ‘hair trigger’ like the other guys they’ve met, who blew their load within 5 minutes of getting their lips around their cock. Give them the challenge of a guy who hasn’t cum from a bj for over 7 years, and they’re like “Well I’m not doing this all night, you gonna fuck me?”……

In general with bj threads; the ‘Bj Queens’ go into hiding, whereas all the ‘discreet/nothing wanted in return mate’ secret cock suckers fill your inbox…..

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Being too shy with the balls..get them clenched and squeezed.

Also voting.

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By *allipygousMan
22 weeks ago

Leicester

"Has anyone ever had a snapped banjo from oral? "

Yes, 40 years ago. "Your mouth's bleeding" said I, "It's not me" said she. At the hospital the doctor asked how it happened and when I started staying I was with my girlfriend he stopped me and said "Good, as long as you're not one of them."

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By *allipygousMan
22 weeks ago

Leicester

"Being too shy with the balls..get them clenched and squeezed.

Also voting. "

Used to love this pre circumcision.

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By *agatoXXXMan
22 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

Everything.

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
22 weeks ago

Sherwood Forest

Put the toilet seat down

Not enough face sitting (just bloody sit... I don't need that much air)

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By *ainbowCheesecakeCouple
22 weeks ago

Northampton

Does leaving the knife on the side after she's made her toast count

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By *ANDA!Man
22 weeks ago

DUMFRIES

"Deeper!"

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