FabSwingers.com forum: Cats are the biggest dicks on the planet

By *arla Swinger OP Woman
12 weeks ago

Somewhere

Discuss?

My cats (that I got dumped with)

Like to stand on your face in the middle of the night.

Enjoy watching you go to the bathroom, but definitely don't want you to watch them doing it.

Like to stick their paw randomly in your mouth whilst sleeping.

Like to pee down the plug hole in the bath randomly for no reason.

Like to prove the earth isn't flat by knocking anything on a flat surface off.

Fight dogs 3x the size of them.

Cry to go outside - go outside - cry to come back in.

Poop in your left trainer - just because.

Drag mice into your house - then release them.

Judge you when you're having sex (even if in another room).

Pick a brand of cat food - wait till you've stocked up - then stop eating it.

Scratch at doors to come in - scratch at doors to go out - ignore open doors

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By *ootyfruityCouple
12 weeks ago

andover

This is hilarious! Our cat does much of the same, love him…but total asshole

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By *undance_KidMan
12 weeks ago

London

Was thinking of buying a cat. Not anymore !!!

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By *arla Swinger OP Woman
12 weeks ago

Somewhere

"Was thinking of buying a cat. Not anymore !!!"

Pfft! Don't buy one! I can send one via the train for the price of a one way ticket

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

"Discuss?

My cats (that I got dumped with)

Like to stand on your face in the middle of the night.

Enjoy watching you go to the bathroom, but definitely don't want you to watch them doing it.

Like to stick their paw randomly in your mouth whilst sleeping.

Like to pee down the plug hole in the bath randomly for no reason.

Like to prove the earth isn't flat by knocking anything on a flat surface off.

Fight dogs 3x the size of them.

Cry to go outside - go outside - cry to come back in.

Poop in your left trainer - just because.

Drag mice into your house - then release them.

Judge you when you're having sex (even if in another room).

Pick a brand of cat food - wait till you've stocked up - then stop eating it.

Scratch at doors to come in - scratch at doors to go out - ignore open doors

But you wouldn't be without them!

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By *arla Swinger OP Woman
12 weeks ago

Somewhere

"Discuss?

My cats (that I got dumped with)

Like to stand on your face in the middle of the night.

Enjoy watching you go to the bathroom, but definitely don't want you to watch them doing it.

Like to stick their paw randomly in your mouth whilst sleeping.

Like to pee down the plug hole in the bath randomly for no reason.

Like to prove the earth isn't flat by knocking anything on a flat surface off.

Fight dogs 3x the size of them.

Cry to go outside - go outside - cry to come back in.

Poop in your left trainer - just because.

Drag mice into your house - then release them.

Judge you when you're having sex (even if in another room).

Pick a brand of cat food - wait till you've stocked up - then stop eating it.

Scratch at doors to come in - scratch at doors to go out - ignore open doors

But you wouldn't be without them!"

No, no read it again!... Cats that I got dumped with

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By *inAndTonic21Couple
12 weeks ago

Merseyside

Ah we have a cat and dog they are cute together; paw goes onto mouth when trying to cuddle; wants to go out but then sits in doorway looking out

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By *immyinreadingMan
12 weeks ago

henley on thames

One of our cats, his favourite achievement in life is blocking the other cats from getting where they want to go. He will stand guard at the top or bottom of the stairs, blocking the other 2.

On the flip side, one of the other cats kills rats on a regular basis

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By *immyinreadingMan
12 weeks ago

henley on thames

"Was thinking of buying a cat. Not anymore !!!"

Buy? Adopt. There’s plenty of cars in shelters

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By *r John WickMan
12 weeks ago

The Continental

Bath my cats are awesome.

One is a specialist in insect control. Lives a diet of spider and fly.

The other one is a total

rat and mouse assassin. I know if he’s had one because all he leaves behind is the stomach. He eats the rest.

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By *orphia2003Woman
12 weeks ago

Tonypandy.

Sleeps in laundry basket, on TV unit shelf or in the sage plant in garden (he has 5 beds)

Brought his mates around to sing me the song of his people, at 3am, until I fed all 3 of them.

Ignores the fresh water in his bowl, drinks rainwater from neighbours pond

Tries to eat the salt lamp.

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By *r John WickMan
12 weeks ago

The Continental

"Sleeps in laundry basket, on TV unit shelf or in the sage plant in garden (he has 5 beds)

Brought his mates around to sing me the song of his people, at 3am, until I fed all 3 of them.

Ignores the fresh water in his bowl, drinks rainwater from neighbours pond

Tries to eat the salt lamp."

Total Legend!

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By *ookie46Woman
12 weeks ago

Deepest darkest Peru

Can open the front and back door to escape

Uses my tummy like a trampoline

Sleeps in the box the Chinese gets delivered in and ignores her perfectly comfy bed

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