FabSwingers.com forum: Funniest insult you’ve received

By *oydyke OP Woman
12 weeks ago

Southampton (they/them)

Some insults are so funny you can’t even be offended…I’m a poet (and a writer!) and this guy disagreed with me on twitter once and saw my bio and said, ‘just what the world needs, another bloody poet!’

I was so impressed I printed out the tweet and stuck it to my wall. Always there to give me a giggle.

What’s the funniest insult you’ve received?

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By *zeroMan
12 weeks ago

Glasgow

When handing in coursework my teacher wrote in the feedback; "try a bit harder, I don't know. Maybe you weren't entirely awake when you wrote this essay."

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By *arlot o scaraWoman
12 weeks ago

Hell

Were you born in Burger King because you’re a fucking whopper

So good it’s worked its way in to my every day vernacular

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By *olgateMan
12 weeks ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

A geeky looking guy in a pub was having an argument and he blurted out “I no longer have any respect for your further existence on this planet “

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By *ixon CiderMan
12 weeks ago

Birmingham

That all I am good for is dick and the rest of me is all for show

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By *ndi37Man
12 weeks ago

Manchester

You look younger than you are, but still old enough to be my dad. Lol.

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By *mber SkiesWoman
12 weeks ago

Cardiff-ish

I’ve also had you don’t look your age my secret no man in my life to drag me down

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By *herry delightWoman
12 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

Plumbum

You need to think about it but it's definitely an insult.

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By *igR93Man
12 weeks ago

Sarcasm City

I remember being called Harry Potter about a million times

No resemblance at all just that I wear glasses

Interesting days

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By *ndi37Man
12 weeks ago

Manchester

"I remember being called Harry Potter about a million times

No resemblance at all just that I wear glasses

Interesting days"

If only Harry Potter had a body like your, he would need a reinforced broom stick.

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By *a LunaWoman
12 weeks ago

South

Sasquatch. Because I’ve got a hairy bum. Was more a term of endearment really.

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By (user no longer on site)
12 weeks ago

I was called a "bad mother" by a bunch of mentally unstable childless beardysexual millenial Lego nerds on another site.

I liked the insult so much that I used it and changed my username to badmother. Been using it on multiple platforms since 2016.

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By *assy LassieWoman
12 weeks ago

Lanarkshire

Got called a fat cheese melt on here once for turning a guy down

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By *partan69Man
12 weeks ago

hyde

"Got called a fat cheese melt on here once for turning a guy down

That's a proper odd thing to call anyone lol especially as your not fat

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By *bxanfCouple
12 weeks ago

Inside your walls

One guy said to us on here "I would say happy easter but you both look like you mugged the easter bunny for all the eggs."

Which was a fat insult we hadn't heard before and got a legit chuckle.

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By *rAitchMan
12 weeks ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

A guy I worked for was having to "let go" of a sales guy at the end of his probation period for not making a single sale or even any new contacts.

"Don't see this as me sacking you. I'm giving you the opportunity to go and be successful somewhere else!"

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
12 weeks ago

London or Bedford

I was once called…

“The thorn in the side of intellect itself”

Never forgot it….

….Bravo

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
12 weeks ago

East Sussex

Ginger pensioner.

I'm not ginger and wasn't a pensioner at the time.

I struggled to see how either description was an insult.

Another time a friend told me

"You could look good...if you had money" and on seeing my new jacket

"Oh, are they coming back in fashion"

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By *ea_toastkinkyWoman
12 weeks ago

Hinckley

Not on here, insults are always lame.

A woman who I was spending the weekend with btw for an event said to me on the coach down:

You only look young because the fat pushes out the wrinkles followed by and your teeth, you have two largerfront teeth like a bunny rabbit so you still look like a child.

We weren't even in a conversation. Her inner thoughts won. So I had to do my event and meet fans and collectors from everywhere after being told I'm fat, old and have 2 big bunny teeth.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
12 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

I was once told 'If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your head off' I can't remember why he said it but I laughed

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
12 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

Off my mates 8 year old lad...

Him: We're you born on the motorway.

Me: No, why?..

Him: Because that's where most accidents happen..

I wanted to drop kick him

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