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Martha/Baby Reindeer situation

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
27 weeks ago

So I slept with a lady friend of mine that I have known for about 6 years as a 1 off. She has started to tell me she loves me and is bombarding me with messages. It's not that serious at the moment but I would feel bad if I blocked her as I don't want to ruin or friendship. Any advice?

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
27 weeks ago

Southampton

I think you need to sit down and have a Frank discussion with her...yes she'll feel hurt but she'll get over it .....

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago


"I think you need to sit down and have a Frank discussion with her...yes she'll feel hurt but she'll get over it ....."

Alternatively give her my contact details

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

27 weeks ago

East Sussex

Your friendship is close to ruination anyway. You have nothing to lose by telling her that you aren't interested in taking this further *sooner rather than later*. You might salvage something

Also never have sex with her again even if she says she is happy with no strings

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

27 weeks ago

East Sussex

Oh and you might not think it's that serious but she's telling you she loves you. That is some serious stuff

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
27 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 22/06/24 15:33:44]

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By *olly MistlehoeWoman
27 weeks ago

Somewhere

Just tell her again you're not interested in her sexually, and be done with it. Probably better to say you want to take a little break from the friendship to give you both some breathing space

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By *layfullsamMan
27 weeks ago

Solihull


"So I slept with a lady friend of mine that I have known for about 6 years as a 1 off. She has started to tell me she loves me and is bombarding me with messages. It's not that serious at the moment but I would feel bad if I blocked her as I don't want to ruin or friendship. Any advice?"

Keep copies of every message and get a tv series wrote about it, oh wait just don’t make it real unless you’ve got a deep pocket !

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago

Buy pants with elastic in next time and they won't fall down so easy in future!

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By *olgateMan
27 weeks ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

In all seriousness, this is a no win situation.

You have to tell them straight you are not interested and break all contact

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By *ripfillMan
27 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant

Awkward … how do you feel about her … ?

I can easily mail you some gaffer tape and how to build a patio plan ( sorry just re read this .. not funny eeeek ! ) but I am giggling ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
27 weeks ago


"Awkward … how do you feel about her … ?

I can easily mail you some gaffer tape and how to build a patio plan ( sorry just re read this .. not funny eeeek ! ) but I am giggling .. "

Thanks for the advice Josef Fritzl , i don't feel the same way about her

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By *allandathleticMan
27 weeks ago

Asgard

RUN....FOREST....RUN

Tell her. Tell her straight. Be a gentleman about it. But stick to your guns.

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By *olly MistlehoeWoman
27 weeks ago

Somewhere

Did you have the convo prior the sex as well OP? Always a good shout that one

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By *mmaleiaWoman
27 weeks ago

Trowbridge

So there were no signs she was attracted to you in the last 6 years building upto this ??

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By *ascaIMan
27 weeks ago

Cheshire Liverpool Manchester

Make a Netflix series out of it.

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By *allandathleticMan
27 weeks ago

Asgard


"So there were no signs she was attracted to you in the last 6 years building upto this ??"

Evidently not.

Or

There was. He's ignored it and now he's got himself into a pile and he struggling to get out because he feels emotionally guilty for leading her on....

Buuuut I could be wrong.

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
27 weeks ago

St Neots

Whatever you do.. DO NOT offer to hang her curtains

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By *ripfillMan
27 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant


"Awkward … how do you feel about her … ?

I can easily mail you some gaffer tape and how to build a patio plan ( sorry just re read this .. not funny eeeek ! ) but I am giggling ..

Thanks for the advice Josef Fritzl , i don't feel the same way about her"

Ok - what’s your address lol

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By *ansoffateMan
27 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Tell her how you feel sooner rather than later.

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By *mmaleiaWoman
27 weeks ago

Trowbridge


"So there were no signs she was attracted to you in the last 6 years building upto this ??

Evidently not.

Or

There was. He's ignored it and now he's got himself into a pile and he struggling to get out because he feels emotionally guilty for leading her on....

Buuuut I could be wrong."

I’ll go with the latter too

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
27 weeks ago


"So there were no signs she was attracted to you in the last 6 years building upto this ??"

Unfortunately not, went around hers to have a meal and chilled watching a movie, 1 thing lead to another and here I am

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By *onkeynutWoman
27 weeks ago

somewhere


"So there were no signs she was attracted to you in the last 6 years building upto this ??

Evidently not.

Or

There was. He's ignored it and now he's got himself into a pile and he struggling to get out because he feels emotionally guilty for leading her on....

Buuuut I could be wrong."

This.

OP you need to tell her clearly and firmly (but be kind) that those feelings aren’t reciprocated.

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By *ea monkeyMan
27 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

I have a few rules about myself and how I behave, one of which is not to have sex with non ENM people. The lines between love, sex and intimacy are far too blurred for many people and it can often lead to exactly this situation.

Tell her directly and tell her as soon as you can. Don’t be nasty and don’t equate her to someone synonymous with stalking, she’s not, she is just confused by the situation that she’s in

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By *rsKOTCTWoman
27 weeks ago

Leeds

Ok if she's bombarding you with texts why are you not telling her to stop?

Tell her you are friends and it was a one time only thing and ask her politely to stop with all the messages, if she doesn't then it's the block button.

If you can't be straight with her then she's probably thinking there's some chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago


"Just tell her again you're not interested in her sexually, and be done with it. Probably better to say you want to take a little break from the friendship to give you both some breathing space "

This. Be upfront & clear. Don't sleep with her as that's messing with her feelings even if she thinks she can handle it. Space to heal/ both do your own thing is wise. Being honest salvages the hope of a friendship in the future. Trying to be her friend now when she has the feels/ you slept together/ not clearly saying no, could be leading her on.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

27 weeks ago

East Sussex


"So there were no signs she was attracted to you in the last 6 years building upto this ??

Unfortunately not, went around hers to have a meal and chilled watching a movie, 1 thing lead to another and here I am "

Ok mum style talk coming up

You're an adult. Deal with this in an adult manner by being absolutely straight with her completely unambiguously.

Don't say things like one thing led to another as if you had no control over the situation. You did and you do.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
27 weeks ago

The Big Smoke


"So there were no signs she was attracted to you in the last 6 years building upto this ??

Unfortunately not, went around hers to have a meal and chilled watching a movie, 1 thing lead to another and here I am "

Then speak to her on the phone. Don’t text. And tell her you don’t feel the same way. Today. Now even. Instead of asking people on the forum. If you care about her as a friend as you said in your OP that is the least she deserves

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
27 weeks ago


"So there were no signs she was attracted to you in the last 6 years building upto this ??

Evidently not.

Or

There was. He's ignored it and now he's got himself into a pile and he struggling to get out because he feels emotionally guilty for leading her on....

Buuuut I could be wrong.

I’ll go with the latter too "

Well you would be completely wrong

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

27 weeks ago

East Sussex

What are you going to do op?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
27 weeks ago


"What are you going to do op?"

She asked me to be her bf..i said no.

She then said ok lets just be fwb..i said no.

We video called and i told her that it will go nowhere and it was a one off (i didn't want to say it was a mistake as i don't want to hurt her)

I am just stuck at the moment as we have been to each others place many many times and nothing has ever happen between us.

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
27 weeks ago

Southampton


"What are you going to do op?

She asked me to be her bf..i said no.

She then said ok lets just be fwb..i said no.

We video called and i told her that it will go nowhere and it was a one off (i didn't want to say it was a mistake as i don't want to hurt her)

I am just stuck at the moment as we have been to each others place many many times and nothing has ever happen between us."

I think it sounds like you need to put a bit of distance between you x

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By *olgateMan
27 weeks ago

on the road to nowhere in particular


"Make a Netflix series out of it. "

Been there, done that

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

27 weeks ago

East Sussex


"What are you going to do op?

She asked me to be her bf..i said no.

She then said ok lets just be fwb..i said no.

We video called and i told her that it will go nowhere and it was a one off (i didn't want to say it was a mistake as i don't want to hurt her)

I am just stuck at the moment as we have been to each others place many many times and nothing has ever happen between us."

Ok.

Have you worked out in your mind how you want this to go forward? If not take some time to sort that out then ask her how she sees your future relationship.

You might need to give each other some space

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By *eordieJeansCouple
27 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Hang her curtains.

Sent from my Iphoen

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By *allandathleticMan
27 weeks ago

Asgard


"What are you going to do op?

She asked me to be her bf..i said no.

She then said ok lets just be fwb..i said no.

We video called and i told her that it will go nowhere and it was a one off (i didn't want to say it was a mistake as i don't want to hurt her)

I am just stuck at the moment as we have been to each others place many many times and nothing has ever happen between us."

OP, you sound like a nice guy. Who I assume feels bad because you don't feel the same. That is ok. There's nothing wrong with not feeling the same. And there's nothing wrong with saying so.

Don't feel bad. You CANNOT control her reaction to your feelings.

Take some time. Be straight and talk from the heart. Best way

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By *rsKOTCTWoman
27 weeks ago

Leeds


"What are you going to do op?

She asked me to be her bf..i said no.

She then said ok lets just be fwb..i said no.

We video called and i told her that it will go nowhere and it was a one off (i didn't want to say it was a mistake as i don't want to hurt her)

I am just stuck at the moment as we have been to each others place many many times and nothing has ever happen between us."

You've told her no now, if she keeps messaging you need to really put your foot down and ask her to stop, explain it's a bit much & it's going to end up ruining the friendship.

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago


"What are you going to do op?

She asked me to be her bf..i said no.

She then said ok lets just be fwb..i said no.

We video called and i told her that it will go nowhere and it was a one off (i didn't want to say it was a mistake as i don't want to hurt her)

I am just stuck at the moment as we have been to each others place many many times and nothing has ever happen between us.

You've told her no now, if she keeps messaging you need to really put your foot down and ask her to stop, explain it's a bit much & it's going to end up ruining the friendship."

Don't forget the breakup sex!

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By *stwo2023Couple
27 weeks ago

Worcester


"So I slept with a lady friend of mine that I have known for about 6 years as a 1 off. She has started to tell me she loves me and is bombarding me with messages. It's not that serious at the moment but I would feel bad if I blocked her as I don't want to ruin or friendship. Any advice?"

You don't think she has ruined the friendship already? Block her.

Evie

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago

Guy has female friend, takes it further as you know, sex is sex. Guy complains when female friend has feelings.

Next time don't fuck your friends.

Oh, and don't make out said friend to be a crazy stalker bitch.

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By *eordieJeansCouple
27 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Guy has female friend, takes it further as you know, sex is sex. Guy complains when female friend has feelings.

Next time don't fuck your friends.

Oh, and don't make out said friend to be a crazy stalker bitch.

"

Martha?

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By *ittlebirdWoman
27 weeks ago

The Big Smoke


"What are you going to do op?

She asked me to be her bf..i said no.

She then said ok lets just be fwb..i said no.

We video called and i told her that it will go nowhere and it was a one off (i didn't want to say it was a mistake as i don't want to hurt her)

I am just stuck at the moment as we have been to each others place many many times and nothing has ever happen between us."

In which case if she cannot accept the word no then I’m afraid you have no choice but to block and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago


"Guy has female friend, takes it further as you know, sex is sex. Guy complains when female friend has feelings.

Next time don't fuck your friends.

Oh, and don't make out said friend to be a crazy stalker bitch.

Martha?"

Sent from my iphone

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By *eordieJeansCouple
27 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Guy has female friend, takes it further as you know, sex is sex. Guy complains when female friend has feelings.

Next time don't fuck your friends.

Oh, and don't make out said friend to be a crazy stalker bitch.

Martha?

Sent from my iphone"

I’m sure you have an android phone. Very Martha of you.

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago

Gloat in knowing you’ve given her a memorable dick-down.

That will give you high ratings with future sex partners.

Tell her you can’t give her what she’s after.

Block her.

Don’t be an idiot and find yourself in another similar situation again.

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By *antasdeerideMan
27 weeks ago

winfrith


"So I slept with a lady friend of mine that I have known for about 6 years as a 1 off. She has started to tell me she loves me and is bombarding me with messages. It's not that serious at the moment but I would feel bad if I blocked her as I don't want to ruin or friendship. Any advice?"
Sorry mate if you tell her you're not interested that's the loss of a friend you should have thought about this before you did the deed ,you have no choice but to have a conversation with her but she's going to be very upset I guess,so softly softly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
27 weeks ago


"So I slept with a lady friend of mine that I have known for about 6 years as a 1 off. She has started to tell me she loves me and is bombarding me with messages. It's not that serious at the moment but I would feel bad if I blocked her as I don't want to ruin or friendship. Any advice?

You don't think she has ruined the friendship already? Block her.

Evie "

It takes two to tango, I played my part by letting it turn sexual, so I am partially to blame too. I am just trying to recover fragments of our friendship, but I know it will never be the same again.

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago


"Guy has female friend, takes it further as you know, sex is sex. Guy complains when female friend has feelings.

Next time don't fuck your friends.

Oh, and don't make out said friend to be a crazy stalker bitch.

Martha?

Sent from my iphone

I’m sure you have an android phone. Very Martha of you."

I model myself on her

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
27 weeks ago

Central

Respect her and what she says. Make your situation very clear to her and ensure that you both have a future that you're both happy with, either together in some way or not. Don't fall into the trap of casual sex with someone who has shown she may be vulnerable to getting emotionally involved. You refer to Baby Reindeer presumably for good reason. Have a rigid boundary that is not crossed.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
27 weeks ago

Norwich


"What are you going to do op?

She asked me to be her bf..i said no.

She then said ok lets just be fwb..i said no.

We video called and i told her that it will go nowhere and it was a one off (i didn't want to say it was a mistake as i don't want to hurt her)

I am just stuck at the moment as we have been to each others place many many times and nothing has ever happen between us.

You've told her no now, if she keeps messaging you need to really put your foot down and ask her to stop, explain it's a bit much & it's going to end up ruining the friendship.

Don't forget the breakup sex! "

This reply wins the thread

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By *eordieJeansCouple
27 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"Guy has female friend, takes it further as you know, sex is sex. Guy complains when female friend has feelings.

Next time don't fuck your friends.

Oh, and don't make out said friend to be a crazy stalker bitch.

Martha?

Sent from my iphone

I’m sure you have an android phone. Very Martha of you.

I model myself on her"

As if you could ever go to a bar and not have an alcoholic drink.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
27 weeks ago


"Gloat in knowing you’ve given her a memorable dick-down.

That will give you high ratings with future sex partners.

Tell her you can’t give her what she’s after.

Block her.

Don’t be an idiot and find yourself in another similar situation again.

"

Lmao I'll drop the "check out my trustpilot reviews" on my next endeavour

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago


"

It takes two to tango, I played my part by letting it turn sexual, so I am partially to blame too. I am just trying to recover fragments of our friendship, but I know it will never be the same again. "

"Partially to blame"! You did the deed. You needn't have. But I think OP that you are going to to take her up on the FWB offer (#RuledByYourDick)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
27 weeks ago


"

It takes two to tango, I played my part by letting it turn sexual, so I am partially to blame too. I am just trying to recover fragments of our friendship, but I know it will never be the same again.

"Partially to blame"! You did the deed. You needn't have. But I think OP that you are going to to take her up on the FWB offer (#RuledByYourDick)"

Absolutely not, you don't know anything about me but quick to judge. I have plenty of fwb offers but I am selective on who I sleep with. I just made a bad call on this, if I wanted her as a fwb I would have done that 6 years ago if this was my intentions

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By *ansoffateMan
27 weeks ago

Sagittarius A


"So there were no signs she was attracted to you in the last 6 years building upto this ??

Unfortunately not, went around hers to have a meal and chilled watching a movie, 1 thing lead to another and here I am

Then speak to her on the phone. Don’t text. And tell her you don’t feel the same way. Today. Now even. Instead of asking people on the forum. If you care about her as a friend as you said in your OP that is the least she deserves "

Exactly. I've a friend. She has such rigid rules about compartmentalizing sex from intimacy. She caught the feelings recently and it was so hard for her. It took so much courage for her to say how she felt. All she wanted was the guy to be straight with her. She's not some stalker or whatever, the woman is razor sharp. I'd be gutted for her if he'd have left her hanging, it's a horrible place to be.

Pull it together OP you know what you need to do, you don't even need to be asking.

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By *ellinever70Woman
27 weeks ago

Ayrshire


"

I just made a bad call on this "

So take some responsibility for the situation

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago


"

It takes two to tango, I played my part by letting it turn sexual, so I am partially to blame too. I am just trying to recover fragments of our friendship, but I know it will never be the same again.

"Partially to blame"! You did the deed. You needn't have. But I think OP that you are going to to take her up on the FWB offer (#RuledByYourDick)

Absolutely not, you don't know anything about me but quick to judge. I have plenty of fwb offers but I am selective on who I sleep with. I just made a bad call on this, if I wanted her as a fwb I would have done that 6 years ago if this was my intentions "

"The OP doth protest too much, methinks!"

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago


"So I slept with a lady friend of mine that I have known for about 6 years as a 1 off. She has started to tell me she loves me and is bombarding me with messages. It's not that serious at the moment but I would feel bad if I blocked her as I don't want to ruin or friendship. Any advice?"

Serious this one - TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL!!

You’re a grown up and should be able to have these conversations….dont ghost them without telling them how you feel and where they stand….its a horrid thing to do….i had something similar but i actually told her i loved her and she ghosted me….hurts like hell!!

BE HONEST OP

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
27 weeks ago

Southampton


"So I slept with a lady friend of mine that I have known for about 6 years as a 1 off. She has started to tell me she loves me and is bombarding me with messages. It's not that serious at the moment but I would feel bad if I blocked her as I don't want to ruin or friendship. Any advice?

Serious this one - TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL!!

You’re a grown up and should be able to have these conversations….dont ghost them without telling them how you feel and where they stand….its a horrid thing to do….i had something similar but i actually told her i loved her and she ghosted me….hurts like hell!!

BE HONEST OP "

Hugs xx

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
27 weeks ago

Reading

Block block block

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By *olgateMan
26 weeks ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

No means NO

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
26 weeks ago

somewhere

From reading the little you have said about the friendship over the last 6 years (and from someone who gets attached way to easily), she fell in love with you a long time ago and has been hoping it led to sex for a very long time and now it has, she felt comfortable enough to finally tell you, she probably made it obvious plenty of times before but you were a man and chose to ignore it and all the other glaringly obvious signs she has probably given you, you've probably also without meaning too, led her on a little (like I say, you probably didn't mean too) and she probably thought your friendship was probably more than it was but given the fact you boned her now, she probably thought "I can finally tell him".

She may not be a Martha and be ok about it, if the above is true and she will most likely end up feeling a bit of a tit because she completely misread the signs (I mean being really friendly with her, so much so you go round for a meal and watch a film).

Just be honest, she's owed that much.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
26 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

Stay low, move fast

Use your surroundings and blend in.

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By *layfullsamMan
26 weeks ago

Solihull


"So I slept with a lady friend of mine that I have known for about 6 years as a 1 off. She has started to tell me she loves me and is bombarding me with messages. It's not that serious at the moment but I would feel bad if I blocked her as I don't want to ruin or friendship. Any advice?"

Send your pet rabbit away at any cost to a rabbit pet sitter at the furthest corner of the earth until this blows over

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