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Now I'm not moaning as I'm glad it's warmed up

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By *ad Nanna OP   Woman
22 weeks ago

East London

but, why do insects that arrive in summer always plot themselves up directly over your head, in bed?

I can't even tell what this fucker is

I hope it's a flyer.

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By *hunky GentMan
22 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"but, why do insects that arrive in summer always plot themselves up directly over your head, in bed?

I can't even tell what this fucker is

I hope it's a flyer."

It could be worse - it could be a man wanting to be rimmed.

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By *929Man
22 weeks ago

newcastle

Nowt worse as you reluctant to just leave it in case it’s a wasp but can’t be fucked to get up as already settled

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By *ad Nanna OP   Woman
22 weeks ago

East London


"but, why do insects that arrive in summer always plot themselves up directly over your head, in bed?

I can't even tell what this fucker is

I hope it's a flyer.

It could be worse - it could be a man wanting to be rimmed. "

On my ceiling? If it's Superman, AKA Henry Caville, I'll just go clean my teeth.

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By *aizyWoman
22 weeks ago

west midlands

I was just about to fall asleep last night in bed, I looked up and there was a massive spider on the ceiling right above me, I have not moved that fast in years! Hope whatever it is buzzes off soon, Nanna.

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By *ad Nanna OP   Woman
22 weeks ago

East London


"Nowt worse as you reluctant to just leave it in case it’s a wasp but can’t be fucked to get up as already settled "

Too small to be a wasp.

I don't want to risk flicking it and it spider that could land on my bed.

It might just be a moth.

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By *ascaIMan
22 weeks ago

Cheshire Liverpool Manchester

No matter what you do Nanna it’s gonna getcha.

Sweet dreams

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By *ad Nanna OP   Woman
22 weeks ago

East London


"No matter what you do Nanna it’s gonna getcha.

Sweet dreams "

I hope the bed bugs bite!

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By *ad Nanna OP   Woman
22 weeks ago

East London


"I was just about to fall asleep last night in bed, I looked up and there was a massive spider on the ceiling right above me, I have not moved that fast in years! Hope whatever it is buzzes off soon, Nanna."

I have a spider living above the extractor fan unit in my bathroom, which is just behind the end of my bath my head is.

Every time I have a bath he comes out to have a perv.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
22 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

I grew up in Durban, South Africa, where it's as hot or hotter than this for about 6 months or so of the year. Loads of insects - just ignore them. We also used to get geckos that would climb up the walls and sit on the ceiling, eating insects. Spiders in the corners would do the same thing. They did a great service - it's all symbiotic.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
22 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"I was just about to fall asleep last night in bed, I looked up and there was a massive spider on the ceiling right above me, I have not moved that fast in years! Hope whatever it is buzzes off soon, Nanna.

I have a spider living above the extractor fan unit in my bathroom, which is just behind the end of my bath my head is.

Every time I have a bath he comes out to have a perv. "

She, probably. Spiders are lezzers, Nanna

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By *aizyWoman
22 weeks ago

west midlands


"I was just about to fall asleep last night in bed, I looked up and there was a massive spider on the ceiling right above me, I have not moved that fast in years! Hope whatever it is buzzes off soon, Nanna.

I have a spider living above the extractor fan unit in my bathroom, which is just behind the end of my bath my head is.

Every time I have a bath he comes out to have a perv. "

How big is your pervy spider tho? Because the one above my bed, I swear was a big as my hand!

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By *nnCeeWoman
22 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell


"I was just about to fall asleep last night in bed, I looked up and there was a massive spider on the ceiling right above me, I have not moved that fast in years! Hope whatever it is buzzes off soon, Nanna.

I have a spider living above the extractor fan unit in my bathroom, which is just behind the end of my bath my head is.

Every time I have a bath he comes out to have a perv. "

Of course he does!! You is fit, innit?!

Best grab your specs though, to see what bit actually IS on the ceiling...

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By *ad Nanna OP   Woman
22 weeks ago

East London


"I grew up in Durban, South Africa, where it's as hot or hotter than this for about 6 months or so of the year. Loads of insects - just ignore them. We also used to get geckos that would climb up the walls and sit on the ceiling, eating insects. Spiders in the corners would do the same thing. They did a great service - it's all symbiotic. "

I'll ignore the ones who aren't hovering above my head waiting to drop onto my face while I'm sleeping

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By *ad Nanna OP   Woman
22 weeks ago

East London


"I was just about to fall asleep last night in bed, I looked up and there was a massive spider on the ceiling right above me, I have not moved that fast in years! Hope whatever it is buzzes off soon, Nanna.

I have a spider living above the extractor fan unit in my bathroom, which is just behind the end of my bath my head is.

Every time I have a bath he comes out to have a perv.

Of course he does!! You is fit, innit?!

Best grab your specs though, to see what bit actually IS on the ceiling... "

I told him to go away earlier and he must have felt guilty because he retreated back to his hidey hole.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
22 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"I grew up in Durban, South Africa, where it's as hot or hotter than this for about 6 months or so of the year. Loads of insects - just ignore them. We also used to get geckos that would climb up the walls and sit on the ceiling, eating insects. Spiders in the corners would do the same thing. They did a great service - it's all symbiotic.

I'll ignore the ones who aren't hovering above my head waiting to drop onto my face while I'm sleeping "

You could always invest in a mosquito net. We used them in Botswana, where the mozzies are organised in 1000-fucker squadrons.

They're pretty good at keeping other noonoos off too. And you could pretend you're in foreign parts...

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By *hunky GentMan
22 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"I was just about to fall asleep last night in bed, I looked up and there was a massive spider on the ceiling right above me, I have not moved that fast in years! Hope whatever it is buzzes off soon, Nanna."

Yes you have. when I asked you for a meet you ran away quicker than grease lightning.

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By *aizyWoman
22 weeks ago

west midlands


"I was just about to fall asleep last night in bed, I looked up and there was a massive spider on the ceiling right above me, I have not moved that fast in years! Hope whatever it is buzzes off soon, Nanna.

Yes you have. when I asked you for a meet you ran away quicker than grease lightning.

"

You sure it was me?? Running doesn't sound like me at all!

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago


"I grew up in Durban, South Africa, where it's as hot or hotter than this for about 6 months or so of the year. Loads of insects - just ignore them. We also used to get geckos that would climb up the walls and sit on the ceiling, eating insects. Spiders in the corners would do the same thing. They did a great service - it's all symbiotic. "

My mum lived in Durban for a while as a child (Port Elizabeth and Cape Town too). She used to tell me about the geckos in the house.

I don't know if they were geckos, but when I lived in Greece we had small bright green lizards. One day my son, then 10, accidentally closed the wooden shutter on one and chopped its tail off. He couldn't believe his eyes when it grew back

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By *hunky GentMan
22 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"I was just about to fall asleep last night in bed, I looked up and there was a massive spider on the ceiling right above me, I have not moved that fast in years! Hope whatever it is buzzes off soon, Nanna.

Yes you have. when I asked you for a meet you ran away quicker than grease lightning.

You sure it was me?? Running doesn't sound like me at all! "

I didn't even get to finish my question.

I said "fancy a f..." and you were gone.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
22 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania


"I grew up in Durban, South Africa, where it's as hot or hotter than this for about 6 months or so of the year. Loads of insects - just ignore them. We also used to get geckos that would climb up the walls and sit on the ceiling, eating insects. Spiders in the corners would do the same thing. They did a great service - it's all symbiotic.

My mum lived in Durban for a while as a child (Port Elizabeth and Cape Town too). She used to tell me about the geckos in the house.

I don't know if they were geckos, but when I lived in Greece we had small bright green lizards. One day my son, then 10, accidentally closed the wooden shutter on one and chopped its tail off. He couldn't believe his eyes when it grew back "

Oh yes! They famously would shed their tails to escape if you tried to catch them.

They used to leave gecko poo on the skirting though. I didn't mind them. It was the Natal cockroaches that I hated - big as your thumb, and they flew. Little bastards! Best thing for killing them was a fly swatter!

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago


"I grew up in Durban, South Africa, where it's as hot or hotter than this for about 6 months or so of the year. Loads of insects - just ignore them. We also used to get geckos that would climb up the walls and sit on the ceiling, eating insects. Spiders in the corners would do the same thing. They did a great service - it's all symbiotic.

My mum lived in Durban for a while as a child (Port Elizabeth and Cape Town too). She used to tell me about the geckos in the house.

I don't know if they were geckos, but when I lived in Greece we had small bright green lizards. One day my son, then 10, accidentally closed the wooden shutter on one and chopped its tail off. He couldn't believe his eyes when it grew back

Oh yes! They famously would shed their tails to escape if you tried to catch them.

They used to leave gecko poo on the skirting though. I didn't mind them. It was the Natal cockroaches that I hated - big as your thumb, and they flew. Little bastards! Best thing for killing them was a fly swatter!"

Eww, cockroaches ... that just made me shiver!

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

I'm ok with certain spiders ... tiny ones, that I've heard being called 'money-spiders' and the ones with spindly legs that hang out in the bathroom. But it's the big mofo's with thick black legs that scare the crap out of me. I always have a glass and piece of cardboard close by to trap them and take them out to the garden.

But the other year I was bitten by a false widow, or whatever they're called. I woke up and the whole right side of my face and eye was swollen up, and the doc found the two pincer marks just under my hairline on my forehead. God I looked scary for days

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By *ynamicnatureMan
22 weeks ago

Doncaster

I feel like superman around spiders over here, I can just pick it up knowing that it can't hurt me.

I grew up in Oz and I don't know if it's because I read to many books on what the spiders were capable of but I was petrified of them over there, so much so I once jumped out of my combi van whilst I was driving,

I was pulling into the carpark behind the pub I was working in at the time and this giant flat huntsman came out from behind the sun visor and started to make its way towards me at a great speed of knots ,

Once that spider hit the halfway mark across the wind screen I was out was out of there quicker than Usain bolt, I then the watched as my van ran into the back wall of the pub,

My then boss who is one of my mates had to drive my van back to mine because we couldn't find the spider as there was zero chance of me getting back in there until we did find it.

I found him in the same spot the next morning and just flicked it out.

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By (user no longer on site)
22 weeks ago

Hilarious stories Inc

I was part of an operation in Afghanistan - Bagram Air force base to be precise. We were accommodated in massive tents in what was a very sandy environment despite being quite a way up the mountains.

We had very narrow beds and kept the local flying and walking wildlife away at night by tucking our mossie nets underneath ourselves religiously every night.

Qué a special evening - circa halfway through our 6 months of this lovely life we "happened" across a source of alcohol merriment was had etc - we all went to bed and actually had a bloody good night's kip. Sun rose and oncoming shift was looming, usual wake up routine unfolded --- rub your eyes, look at your mossie net, count how many beasties were on there and warn your oppos that you are about to launch the ones on your net off it so they can chase them around the tent to splat them (don't judge we didn't have netflix)

There was one lad - his actual nickname was Goaty which these days is quite funny - I digress, he hadn't actually tucked in! So when he "launched" his camel spiders they dropped straight onto his chest

As long as I live - despite any dementia I ever get I will never forget the sight of a grown man half stuck inside a sleeping bag completely enveloped in a mossie net screaming like a 12 YO girl with 3 camel spiders running around on his face and no way of getting away from them

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By *nnCeeWoman
22 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell


"Hilarious stories Inc

I was part of an operation in Afghanistan - Bagram Air force base to be precise. We were accommodated in massive tents in what was a very sandy environment despite being quite a way up the mountains.

We had very narrow beds and kept the local flying and walking wildlife away at night by tucking our mossie nets underneath ourselves religiously every night.

Qué a special evening - circa halfway through our 6 months of this lovely life we "happened" across a source of alcohol merriment was had etc - we all went to bed and actually had a bloody good night's kip. Sun rose and oncoming shift was looming, usual wake up routine unfolded --- rub your eyes, look at your mossie net, count how many beasties were on there and warn your oppos that you are about to launch the ones on your net off it so they can chase them around the tent to splat them (don't judge we didn't have netflix)

There was one lad - his actual nickname was Goaty which these days is quite funny - I digress, he hadn't actually tucked in! So when he "launched" his camel spiders they dropped straight onto his chest

As long as I live - despite any dementia I ever get I will never forget the sight of a grown man half stuck inside a sleeping bag completely enveloped in a mossie net screaming like a 12 YO girl with 3 camel spiders running around on his face and no way of getting away from them "

Nope nope nope nope...

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