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Cupid here once again and I’m matching you all up for yet more fuckery and fornication 
You know by now how I work, right?
Science my friends. Science by Jove!
A correlation of tastes and interests equates to quality relations of a carnal nature; it’s incontrovertible fact it is!
With this in mind and as it’s the Euros, I’m about to ask you two simple questions:
1. Who is your favourite footballer ever?
2. What colour underwear are you presently wearing? (Yes, I realise that the second question is not exactly related to football but…erm….bugger it)
Now, simply sit back and peruse everyone else’s answers…
What’s that you say? You see an exact match to your answers?!
By the Gods! Fate hath ordained that thou shalt both fuck’eth!
It couldn’t be simpler in fact.
Don’t forget to tell us all who’ve you’ve matched with so we can have a good old fashioned gossip (which according to psychologists, is good for us all….sort of…)
Good luck my fine people and remember….it’s cumming home | |||
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"Erm, “Chopper” Harris (just because Chopper sounds a bit penis-like doesn’t it?) and yellow. Who do I get to fuck? "Chopper Harris was indeed an awesome nickname. Sounds like an SAS war hero or something  | |||
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Ever generous am I  | |||
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"Alan Shearer Beige" You know ball | |||
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"Alan Shearer Beige You know ball " I used to have his autograph | |||
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"‘Cupid - help me, you lewd bastard!’ Purple." Cupid to the rescue
You’re new favourite player is none other than the amazing Rod Fanni who plays for Marseille’s | |||
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"Alan Shearer Beige You know ball I used to have his autograph " He wouldn’t sign my Newcastle top  | |||
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"‘Cupid - help me, you lewd bastard!’ Purple. Cupid to the rescue
You’re new favourite player is none other than the amazing Rod Fanni who plays for Marseille’s "Fanni! 
Thanks Cupid! | |||
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"Alan Shearer Beige" A lot would agree but what colour underwear are you wearing | |||
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"Cupid! Help me you lewd bastard! Black. (Well naked right now with my big translucent bum out waiting for my bath to fill up )"It's probably easier to use the taps to fill the bath. Bums aren't very efficient buckets. | |||
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"I’ve changed my fave player. And my underwear. It’s now Zinedine Zidane and Black. Right, when do I get to shag Littlebird then? "Errr… I think you’ll have fun with Chopper Harris | |||
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"Cupid! Help me you lewd bastard! Black. (Well naked right now with my big translucent bum out waiting for my bath to fill up )"Cupid to the rescue fair maiden
Your favourite player is the awesome Ralf Minge? who prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall, played for
Dynamo Dresden.
Indeed, everybody loved watching Minge…. | |||
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"I’ve changed my fave player. And my underwear. It’s now Zinedine Zidane and Black. Right, when do I get to shag Littlebird then?
Errr… I think you’ll have fun with Chopper Harris " it’s always the ones you have feelings for that hurt you the most | |||
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"I’ve changed my fave player. And my underwear. It’s now Zinedine Zidane and Black. Right, when do I get to shag Littlebird then?
Errr… I think you’ll have fun with Chopper Harris
it’s always the ones you have feelings for that hurt you the most "Awww. Should’ve chosen Zinedine darling. He is a genius  | |||
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John Aldridge
Black | |||
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"1. Alan shearer 2. Blue" Great striker big Al | |||
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"Ruud Gullit Blue" What a player x | |||
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"Ruud Gullit Blue What a player x" Definitely team, national, international and manager | |||
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"Ruud Gullit Blue What a player x Definitely team, national, international and manager "Yeah did it on the big stages thats for sure | |||
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"Has anyone got laid yet!? "I can smell the heady scent of sexual shenanigans in the air… Someone here is doing the dirty deed as I type this but is keeping quiet and not allowing us to experience the vicarious joy | |||
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"Has anyone got laid yet!? "Don't be silly, this is fab! | |||
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"Has anyone got laid yet!? "NFC No fucking chance | |||
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"Has anyone got laid yet!? "Nope | |||
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"Dennis Bergkamp and black. Or. Ian Wright and black. Making me pick is like asking me to pick a favourite child. Actually harder I imagine." But you're wearing red, silly | |||
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"Dennis Bergkamp and black. Or. Ian Wright and black. Making me pick is like asking me to pick a favourite child. Actually harder I imagine. But you're wearing red, silly "It's magic! | |||
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"What if you don't have a favorite footballer :| panties are white lace "That’s a good point…. Name out of a hat maybe? | |||
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"What if you don't have a favorite footballer :| panties are white lace
That’s a good point….
Name out of a hat maybe? "*Checks paper* Ade Akinfenwa | |||
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"Cupid! Help me you lewd bastard! Black. (Well naked right now with my big translucent bum out waiting for my bath to fill up )
Cupid to the rescue fair maiden
Your favourite player is the awesome Ralf Minge? who prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall, played for
Dynamo Dresden.
Indeed, everybody loved watching Minge…. "Surely the quote was "everybody loved PLAYING WITH Minge"?! | |||
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I thought there was chance to be paired with a hot Italian lady | |||
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"Jordan Pickford Black"
Right I am going for Dudek. | |||
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"Cupid! Help me you lewd bastard! Black. (Well naked right now with my big translucent bum out waiting for my bath to fill up )
Cupid to the rescue fair maiden
Your favourite player is the awesome Ralf Minge? who prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall, played for
Dynamo Dresden.
Indeed, everybody loved watching Minge….
Surely the quote was "everybody loved PLAYING WITH Minge"?!"I would have loved to hear the commentary if David Seaman and Ralf Minge collided on the field….. | |||
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"jack grealish salmon" You have a fish for pants ? | |||
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"jack grealish salmon" You’re supposed to say the colour, not the odour | |||
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"I’m highly saddened that no one listed Uwe Fuchs (former Middlesbrough striker) and the superb, Ars Bandeet as their favourite players…." You forgot to say what colour undies you have on! | |||
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"I’m highly saddened that no one listed Uwe Fuchs (former Middlesbrough striker) and the superb, Ars Bandeet as their favourite players…. You forgot to say what colour undies you have on!" oh yes They’re purple today | |||
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"Cupid! Help me you lewd bastard! Black. (Well naked right now with my big translucent bum out waiting for my bath to fill up )
Cupid to the rescue fair maiden
Your favourite player is the awesome Ralf Minge? who prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall, played for
Dynamo Dresden.
Indeed, everybody loved watching Minge….
Surely the quote was "everybody loved PLAYING WITH Minge"?!
I would have loved to hear the commentary if David Seaman and Ralf Minge collided on the field….."Minge? Anybody? Minge and Black? | |||
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"Ey up again good folks
Cupid here once again and I’m matching you all up for yet more fuckery and fornication
You know by now how I work, right?
Science my friends. Science by Jove!
A correlation of tastes and interests equates to quality relations of a carnal nature; it’s incontrovertible fact it is!
With this in mind and as it’s the Euros, I’m about to ask you two simple questions:
1. Who is your favourite footballer ever?
2. What colour underwear are you presently wearing? (Yes, I realise that the second question is not exactly related to football but…erm….bugger it)
Now, simply sit back and peruse everyone else’s answers…
What’s that you say? You see an exact match to your answers?!
By the Gods! Fate hath ordained that thou shalt both fuck’eth!
It couldn’t be simpler in fact.
Don’t forget to tell us all who’ve you’ve matched with so we can have a good old fashioned gossip (which according to psychologists, is good for us all….sort of…)
Good luck my fine people and remember….it’s cumming home"Bobby firminio and invisible undies today (commando!) | |||
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"Jordan Pickford Black
Right I am going for Dudek."It still knocks me sick seeing how far he comes off his line in the 2005 penalty shootout. | |||
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"Those who said Zidane though are correct. " S'rsly? I'll have to think about that..... | |||
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"Jordan Pickford Black
Right I am going for Dudek.
It still knocks me sick seeing how far he comes off his line in the 2005 penalty shootout. "Mate you crack me up. .
It was a glorious day | |||
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"Cupid! Help me you lewd bastard! Black. (Well naked right now with my big translucent bum out waiting for my bath to fill up )
Cupid to the rescue fair maiden
Your favourite player is the awesome Ralf Minge? who prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall, played for
Dynamo Dresden.
Indeed, everybody loved watching Minge….
Surely the quote was "everybody loved PLAYING WITH Minge"?!
I would have loved to hear the commentary if David Seaman and Ralf Minge collided on the field…..
Minge? Anybody? Minge and Black?"Hmmm….that sounds like a way of serving Guinness | |||
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"I’m highly saddened that no one listed Uwe Fuchs (former Middlesbrough striker) and the superb, Ars Bandeet as their favourite players…. You forgot to say what colour undies you have on! oh yes They’re purple today "Dammit! So close, I have purple Fanni! | |||
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"I’m highly saddened that no one listed Uwe Fuchs (former Middlesbrough striker) and the superb, Ars Bandeet as their favourite players…. You forgot to say what colour undies you have on! oh yes They’re purple today
Dammit! So close, I have purple Fanni! " I’ve heard of blue balls but…. | |||
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"Jürgen Klinsmann Currently nekkid " Klinsmann’s flying headers were a thing of beauty (we’ll not make mention of his flying dives though….) | |||
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"Cupid! Help me you lewd bastard! Black. (Well naked right now with my big translucent bum out waiting for my bath to fill up )
Cupid to the rescue fair maiden
Your favourite player is the awesome Ralf Minge? who prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall, played for
Dynamo Dresden.
Indeed, everybody loved watching Minge….
Surely the quote was "everybody loved PLAYING WITH Minge"?!
I would have loved to hear the commentary if David Seaman and Ralf Minge collided on the field…..
Minge? Anybody? Minge and Black?
Hmmm….that sounds like a way of serving Guinness " minge and black has good head! | |||
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"Cupid! Help me you lewd bastard! Black. (Well naked right now with my big translucent bum out waiting for my bath to fill up )
Cupid to the rescue fair maiden
Your favourite player is the awesome Ralf Minge? who prior to the fall of the Berlin Wall, played for
Dynamo Dresden.
Indeed, everybody loved watching Minge….
Surely the quote was "everybody loved PLAYING WITH Minge"?!
I would have loved to hear the commentary if David Seaman and Ralf Minge collided on the field…..
Minge? Anybody? Minge and Black?
Hmmm….that sounds like a way of serving Guinness
minge and black has good head!" | |||
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"Jürgen Klinsmann Currently nekkid Klinsmann’s flying headers were a thing of beauty (we’ll not make mention of his flying dives though….) "And his goal celebrations! We tried faithfully to recreate as children but the asphalt of the school playground was an unsuitable surface. I still have the stones in my knee, to this day | |||
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"Dennis Bergkamp Blue "Marc Overmars Still nekkid | |||
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"…..or even Dean Windass? " …..or for fans of old school football, how about the redoubtable, Segar Bastard? | |||
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