FabSwingers.com forum: Humblebrag

By *ea monkey OP Man
27 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

Quite often on threads I see guys making (not so) veiled allusions to their sexual prowess, so this thread is so folks can get their humble or not so brags out.

So folks, do tell about how you licked a woman for hours/have the stamina of a race horse/are hung and your next door neighbour can’t get enough…

I’m all ears

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By *eliWoman
27 weeks ago

Aren't you busy breathing through them?

Bit of a waste of ears if you're not.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
27 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

My phallus is mighty enough that I like to hold it aloft and shout, ‘By the Power of Greyskull; I have the poweeerrrr!!!!’

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By *ea monkey OP Man
27 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"My phallus is mighty enough that I like to hold it aloft and shout, ‘By the Power of Greyskull; I have the poweeerrrr!!!!’ "

And then you ride on your cat?

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By *ealitybitesMan
27 weeks ago

Belfast

My humble penis brag is available to all on my profile.

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By *ad NannaWoman
27 weeks ago

East London

My vagina is so big I can take 3 penises at the same time.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
27 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Aren't you busy breathing through them?

Bit of a waste of ears if you're not."

Alas, my ears aren’t built for that, which is a bit of a waste given their size

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By *ensuallover1000Man
27 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"My phallus is mighty enough that I like to hold it aloft and shout, ‘By the Power of Greyskull; I have the poweeerrrr!!!!’

And then you ride on your cat? "

Yes indeed, whilst battling the evil forces of Skelator (who is clearly jealous of my mighty wang)

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By *ea monkey OP Man
27 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"My humble penis brag is available to all on my profile. "

Smoothly done

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By *ickshawedCouple
27 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

I'm so good at the sex, I can make TeaMonkey forget he's drinking coffee

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By *ea monkey OP Man
27 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"My phallus is mighty enough that I like to hold it aloft and shout, ‘By the Power of Greyskull; I have the poweeerrrr!!!!’

And then you ride on your cat?

Yes indeed, whilst battling the evil forces of Skelator (who is clearly jealous of my mighty wang)

There is was thinking that He Man is gay

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By *ea monkey OP Man
27 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I'm so good at the sex, I can make TeaMonkey forget he's drinking coffee

There I was thinking that we watched a film!

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By *ea monkey OP Man
27 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"My vagina is so big I can take 3 penises at the same time. "

*applause*

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
27 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

What is that makes a brag humble? I feel like we need some parameters here.

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By *allandathleticMan
27 weeks ago

Asgard

I have a pulse and a penis.

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By *elloWoman
27 weeks ago

alpha centauri

"Quite often on threads I see guys making (not so) veiled allusions to their sexual prowess, so this thread is so folks can get their humble or not so brags out.

So folks, do tell about how you licked a woman for hours/have the stamina of a race horse/are hung and your next door neighbour can’t get enough…

I’m all ears"

My brag is that I was on top shagging my first boyfriend and I was such a skilled fucker that I managed to ride him whilst he rolled a cigarette and he didn't drop a single crumb.

Yep guys get in bed with me and I won't disturb you by making the bed move , not even your body will quiver

. That is a brag right

men like it when you don't rock their world, right ?

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By *all_Dark_DirtyMan
27 weeks ago

all over

"My phallus is mighty enough that I like to hold it aloft and shout, ‘By the Power of Greyskull; I have the poweeerrrr!!!!’

And then you ride on your cat? "

So Cring(er)

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By *electableicecreamMan
27 weeks ago

The West

The hardest part of having such a glorious specimen is the fainting but I always have some smelling salts on hand in anticipation of the swoon

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By *ot to giggleWoman
27 weeks ago

Coventry

i have a pulse and no penis .. thats a brag right

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By *oiluvfunMan
27 weeks ago

Penrith

I fucked three different ladies last week. One on Monday, then Wednesday, then Friday. It’s just the two this week (so far)…….

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago

I said it on another thread just this morning…

Days, I can go down for days on a woman.

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By *allandathleticMan
27 weeks ago

Asgard

"I said it on another thread just this morning…

Days, I can go down for days on a woman. "

DAYS!!!

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By *ea monkey OP Man
27 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"What is that makes a brag humble? I feel like we need some parameters here."

an ostensibly modest or self-deprecating statement whose actual purpose is to draw attention to something of which one is proud.

For example; ‘I was so worried when my partner pas*ed out from all of the orgasms I’d given them’ or ‘I’m so tired from staying up all night satisfying the beach volleyball team’

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
27 weeks ago

Leeds

My cock is so big, workmen sit on it to eat their lunch.

The mr

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By *wiss Army KnifeMan
27 weeks ago

Second star to the right…

My penis is so small I can bareback everytime!!

Well I have to as they don’t have butter bean sized condoms!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago

"I said it on another thread just this morning…

Days, I can go down for days on a woman.

DAYS!!!

She keeps me hydrated … and I turn my phone in silent.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
27 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

The fact this thread has been started by Mister Life Changing Kisser is making me

My bag was once described as perfect by a medical professional

Mrs TMN x

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
27 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Bag? Jesus. Vag, autocorrect, vag.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
27 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"The fact this thread has been started by Mister Life Changing Kisser is making me

My bag was once described as perfect by a medical professional

Mrs TMN x"

Hey, those weren’t my words. I just heard them said about me. That’s not a humble brag, it’s a quote

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By *ea monkey OP Man
27 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Bag? Jesus. Vag, autocorrect, vag."

Both count

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
27 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"The fact this thread has been started by Mister Life Changing Kisser is making me

My bag was once described as perfect by a medical professional

Mrs TMN x

Hey, those weren’t my words. I just heard them said about me. That’s not a humble brag, it’s a quote

MY ARSE

And you can quote me on that

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
27 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Bag? Jesus. Vag, autocorrect, vag.

Both count"

Rude.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
27 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"The fact this thread has been started by Mister Life Changing Kisser is making me

My bag was once described as perfect by a medical professional

Mrs TMN x

Hey, those weren’t my words. I just heard them said about me. That’s not a humble brag, it’s a quote

MY ARSE

And you can quote me on that

There’s no need to derail the thread by inserting your arse into it. That’s what wiggle Wednesdays are for

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
27 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

[Removed by poster at 19/06/24 12:24:16]

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
27 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"The fact this thread has been started by Mister Life Changing Kisser is making me

My bag was once described as perfect by a medical professional

Mrs TMN x

Hey, those weren’t my words. I just heard them said about me. That’s not a humble brag, it’s a quote

MY ARSE

And you can quote me on that

There’s no need to derail the thread by inserting your arse into it. That’s what wiggle Wednesdays are for"

It wouldn’t be the first time my arse has derailed things. Just ask Mr TMN.

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By *ellhungvweMan
27 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I would give you a humblebrag OP but just got to work through all these messages that keep flooding my inbox due to referrals from satisfied wives.

#toughLife

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
27 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"It wouldn’t be the first time my arse has derailed things. Just ask Mr TMN."

Something something I’d rail your arse, or something.

I dunno, I’m too lazy to come up with a proper callback right now but you get the gist.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
27 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"It wouldn’t be the first time my arse has derailed things. Just ask Mr TMN.

Something something I’d rail your arse, or something.

I dunno, I’m too lazy to come up with a proper callback right now but you get the gist."

Something something lazy effort doth butter no parsnips.

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By *mf123Man
27 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

I prefer to just brag brag i camt waste the brain power trying to be a clever clogs over nonsense being an elite male means i dont worry over such things

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
27 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"Something something lazy effort doth butter no parsnips."

That’s twice you’ve mentioned parsnips this week. They’re not even in season.

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By *illan-KillashMan
27 weeks ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

I'm so good at the sex Omar Sharrif, Tom Jones and Warren Beatty are my wingmen.

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By *naswingdressWoman
27 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's a hard life, the strange faces people make when I'm going down on them, I wish they'd control themselves.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
27 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Something something lazy effort doth butter no parsnips.

That’s twice you’ve mentioned parsnips this week. They’re not even in season."

What can I say? I bloody love a parsnip.

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By *ea monkey OP Man
27 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"Something something lazy effort doth butter no parsnips.

That’s twice you’ve mentioned parsnips this week. They’re not even in season.

What can I say? I bloody love a parsnip."

You keep misspelling penis

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
27 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Something something lazy effort doth butter no parsnips.

That’s twice you’ve mentioned parsnips this week. They’re not even in season.

What can I say? I bloody love a parsnip.

You keep misspelling penis"

Fucking autoparsnip

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
27 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

Auto-fucking parsnips?

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
27 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Auto-fucking parsnips?

You know there will be porn of that somewhere.

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By *allandathleticMan
27 weeks ago

Asgard

I'm good at dinghy sailing

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By *ansoffateMan
27 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

How quintessentially British, I feel like a nice cup of tea after reading that.

Jolly good show.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
27 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I'm great at camera angles.

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By *eroLondonMan
27 weeks ago

Mayfair

Would you like to know how unsurpassed I am in the bedchamber, Mr Chai-Monkey? I shall divulge:

[1] Quim devouring, I am {redacted}

[2] Kissing, I am {redacted}

[3] Bonking (multiple positions), I am {redacted}

[4] Flirting/Woo'ing, I am {redacted}

[5] Nipple devouring, I am {redacted}

[6] The evolution of sex, I am {redacted}

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
27 weeks ago

Okehampton

My penis is owned by the National Trust, due to its classical beauty and heritage status

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By *ea monkey OP Man
27 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

"I'm great at camera angles. "

Don’t tell our partner that after taking their pictures!

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By (user no longer on site)
27 weeks ago

What I’m good at is keeping my sexual antics non-disclosed

the rewards will be enjoyed by the woman who finds me

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
27 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I'm great at camera angles.

Don’t tell our partner that after taking their pictures! "

Brave.

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