FabSwingers.com forum: Gutted by a selfie

By *veryday_Couple_Nextdoor OP Couple
23 weeks ago

Bristol

It’s great to get a selfie early, had someone on the hotlist for sometime, thought yes, that’s the one, built up the courage for some conversation. Selfies exchanged, and it was like - oh no, they’re not what we thought they looked like. Swift honest apologies made, and now hunting for the next one.

What’s anyone else’s feelings when the face doesn’t match your thoughts from the profile and body pics? How do you respond, or do you just block, delete and wish you hadn’t seen them at all?

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By *agatoXXXMan
23 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

"It’s great to get a selfie early, had someone on the hotlist for sometime, thought yes, that’s the one, built up the courage for some conversation. Selfies exchanged, and it was like - oh no, they’re not what we thought they looked like. Swift honest apologies made, and now hunting for the next one.

What’s anyone else’s feelings when the face doesn’t match your thoughts from the profile and body pics? How do you respond, or do you just block, delete and wish you hadn’t seen them at all? "

I don't know. Nobody has ever sent me a face pic.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

I like an early selfie just to ensure that the pic matches the ones on here. If they aren’t for me I’m honest and fair and polite and it’s a “thanks but no thanks”. Obviously worded differently but in a respectful manner

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By *he return of meMan
23 weeks ago

Leeds

Face pics are the only pics I care for. If I don't like the face pic I just say no thanks after finding a bit more about them or what they're into. Can't say no cunt you're ugly when I look like I do aha

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By *veryday_Couple_Nextdoor OP Couple
23 weeks ago

Bristol

"I like an early selfie just to ensure that the pic matches the ones on here. If they aren’t for me I’m honest and fair and polite and it’s a “thanks but no thanks”. Obviously worded differently but in a respectful manner "

That’s kind of like how we replied, fairly but truthfully, not being brutal, just said it’s not our cup of tea (very English of us)

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

It’s why I have them up on my profile ready to go, don’t want to be on the end of the “oof, that’s not what I was expecting” conversation lol

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By *ellhungvweMan
23 weeks ago

Cheltenham

If you send a face pic and get a block then at least you know you are not their type. Seems harsh - especially if they started the messaging - but that’s life.

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By *veryday_Couple_Nextdoor OP Couple
23 weeks ago

Bristol

"It’s why I have them up on my profile ready to go, don’t want to be on the end of the “oof, that’s not what I was expecting” conversation lol "

Wishing we were brave enough to share our pictures openly on our profile, but with our line of work, we don’t need our names being spread about the work place by someone coming across them.

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By *enegadeMMan
23 weeks ago

Oxfordshire

I got told the other day that I looked more innocent than what they were expecting and therefore wasn’t for them.

As my profile says… I’m not everyone’s cup of tea… but as the person the other day did..just be honest and polite … best way to be

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
23 weeks ago

Reading

This is why I have my face in my profile. Get the disappointment over before we start chatting.

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By *ickie76XXXMan
23 weeks ago

dartford

I always say to people when I send my face pics that if I’m not their cup of tea so to say then feel free to be honest as it’s not something I take offence to as that’s life isn’t it. We all have our preferences and I would rather they were honest than just ignore me. At least that way you can wish each other well and both move on.

Also though personality and how people come across can easily outway a tiny photo. Sometimes all that glitters is not gold and a nice outlook and personality is far more attractive.

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
23 weeks ago

Stoke

We've had the same issue, also we're sometimes not others cup of tea facially, it happens.

We just say you're a lovely couple but just not quite our types, we never single anyone out.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
23 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I always had a face picture on my profile and expected one with first message

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By *issmorganWoman
23 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I say in my profile, that it's someones face I need to find attractive.

They could have a lovely body, but if I don't like their face, it's a no for me.

We are have our own idea of what's attractive and I know I won't be for all & that's fine.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
23 weeks ago

Southampton

"If you send a face pic and get a block then at least you know you are not their type. Seems harsh - especially if they started the messaging - but that’s life."

That's happened to me !! Clearly I'm hideous

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By *urry BlokeMan
23 weeks ago

Stalybridge

Yes, having face pics up certainly makes the inbox a little more tolerable

In terms of saying 'no', again with having face pics up, you just have to gulp, wince, close your eyes, press send and hope for the best

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By *onkeynutWoman
23 weeks ago

somewhere

I just block or don’t reply normally, but it’s usually pretty early in the conversation that it’s sent as mine is usually public.

I used to be nice with a thanks but no thanks kind of message but got too much abuse so it’s easier this way.

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By *ex HolesMan
23 weeks ago

Up North

Most have a face only a mother would love

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
23 weeks ago

somewhere

Oh gawd, this is the worst when this happens, I really want to be someone that can think "ok, so I don't fancy their face but they make me laugh...and the body!" But I just can't, I have to fancy them. In the past I've blocked immediately and then felt awful about it because that's pretty nasty ain't it? Now I generally carry on the conversation but it kinda just trails off as I lose interest but it's better than me being really mean.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
23 weeks ago

Southampton

"Most have a face only a mother would love

I'm not sure even my mother would love my face

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
23 weeks ago

ashford

Why I post new pics weekly most of the time x

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By *ot to giggleWoman
23 weeks ago

Coventry

it happens, i send mine and wait for the

face, i would prefer a no thanks though rather than just a block - I do use the chat rooms a lot as am on Cam with my face and people see me in there, so that works ok

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

They can have the body of a god or goddess, but if I'm not attracted to their face, especially their eyes, then it's going no further.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
23 weeks ago

Wirral.

This is why I regularly have face pics on public and why I won't engage in conversation without seeing his face.

Too many beautiful torsos with faces that I just can't kiss on here

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By *B69Woman
23 weeks ago

Wiltshire

I usually ask for a pic early on and if not to my liking then I just say sorry your not for me, it’s usually taken well

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

I have been there and just quietly let the conversation fizzle.

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
23 weeks ago

In the clouds

"It’s why I have them up on my profile ready to go, don’t want to be on the end of the “oof, that’s not what I was expecting” conversation lol "

Haha same

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

This person can see this topic and is probably gutted and a little pissed off right now that you're talking about them

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By *exySiren01Woman
23 weeks ago

RCT

They can have the most incredible body and personality but if I'm not attracted to them facially I just can't go through with it so I find ot best to get face pics out of the way early on in the conversation

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
23 weeks ago

Wirral.

"This person can see this topic and is probably gutted and a little pissed off right now that you're talking about them"

She didn't mention any names. And the person she's talking about may not be on the forum

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By *reamers13Couple
23 weeks ago

Lancashire

We just say, “Thank you but you’re not what we’re looking for.”

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

You can’t be everyone’s cup Of tea. I don’t take it personally ever!

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
23 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

We don't put our face pic on, cuz we're just simply, to fucking gourgous

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By *orthern BeardMan
23 weeks ago

Oxfordshire

I’m a fan of getting them on early. There has to be some attraction for me at least.

Happy to not be everyone’s cup of tea

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By *agnar73Man
23 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

I suppose I’ve had that reaction when sending a selfie. It’s pretty gutting when a chat ends with it or goes slightly off from being flirty/chatty afterwards.

I try and say to myself it’s just the way I take the pics and that one still photo isn’t a true reflection but that’s how it goes and well, maybe things dodged.

Certainly happier to go to socials and meet people and go from ther.

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By *riel13Woman
23 weeks ago

Northampton

This is why I rarely speak to anyone without seeing their face... It's when you like the first pic... Start chatting n then the next pic you see, they look about 10 years older and bugger all as nice as in the first one... Ugh!

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By *lueLotusWoman
23 weeks ago

the wilderness

I usually say sorry but I have to be honest I'm not feeling any attraction you're not my type.

It's mostly taken well enough but if not I just ignore/delete further messages as I've said my piece.

Sometimes a person has reminded me of a relative or an ex which would put me off too so I've simply said that, sorry but you look a bit too much like my ex and I won't be able to carry on this conversation but thanks for the chat and good luck

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By *elshcouple18Couple
23 weeks ago

Cardiff

We probably go more on personality, you can have a great looking face but be a right c**k in real life

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By *orningGlory555Man
23 weeks ago

Wells

it's an awkward situation for sure, I have had it a few times, more when I have sent my ugly mug! lol, but I try and say politely that there has to be a physical attraction as well. it's just one of those things. you could do as others have said and either just not respond / delete / block.

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By *elshcouple18Couple
23 weeks ago

Cardiff

And find it funny when rejected because we weren't their type yet some of the meet versus they've had you'd not meet yourselves!

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By *igR93Man
23 weeks ago

Sarcasm City

I was going to say maybe they have a great personality

But I suppose this is fab..

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By *elshcouple18Couple
23 weeks ago

Cardiff

"I was going to say maybe they have a great personality

But I suppose this is fab..

"
yep some shallow folk on here. Haha

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By *electableicecreamMan
23 weeks ago

The West

[Removed by poster at 18/06/24 00:00:59]

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By *electableicecreamMan
23 weeks ago

The West

"I was going to say maybe they have a great personality

But I suppose this is fab..

I know loads of people with great personalities that I'm not interested in fucking.

It's hard to imagine a scenario, at least for me, where someone's face isn't a fundamental part of physical attraction.

Maybe for some people.

Do you fuck people you're not physically attracted to?

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By *riel13Woman
23 weeks ago

Northampton

"We probably go more on personality, you can have a great looking face but be a right c**k in real life "

You can be a right cock, whatever you look like... And unattractive doesn't mean, not good looking... This is why people can't handle rejection, I think... Also... An attractive face without a decent personality means they instantly become unattractive... It's all very complicated ennit?

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By *lueLotusWoman
23 weeks ago

the wilderness

"We probably go more on personality, you can have a great looking face but be a right c**k in real life

And even being attracted to someone's looks and personality doesn't guarantee chemistry in person so there's another hurdle. Yay haha

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By *ucka39Man
23 weeks ago

Newcastle

Tbh I've never been disappointed

surprised if anything

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By *riel13Woman
23 weeks ago

Northampton

"We probably go more on personality, you can have a great looking face but be a right c**k in real life

And even being attracted to someone's looks and personality doesn't guarantee chemistry in person so there's another hurdle. Yay haha "

Yes! It's a bloody minefield!

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By *igR93Man
23 weeks ago

Sarcasm City

"I was going to say maybe they have a great personality

But I suppose this is fab..

I know loads of people with great personalities that I'm not interested in fucking.

It's hard to imagine a scenario, at least for me, where someone's face isn't a fundamental part of physical attraction.

Maybe for some people.

Do you fuck people you're not physically attracted to?"

This would tie in to the whole “I guess it is fab” statement

But no I do believe initial attraction is an extremely important factor in any relationship

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By *electableicecreamMan
23 weeks ago

The West

I've always thought of attraction as an aggregate of what my needs and desires are at a particular time, combined with what social norm's and media imprinted in my brain during those formative wanks at a tender age, combined with my male genetic imperatives.

Add pheromones, a consummate seductress or alcohol for curve balls.

It's not shallow to value physical attraction. It might be shallow to only value that but on a site where people come to fuck, wanting to fuck someone just because they are hot is totally legit.

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By *lueLotusWoman
23 weeks ago

the wilderness

I feel disappointed but also a bit dumb for conjuring up a face based on chatting... It's a bit like seeing a film made of a well loved book and the characters don't look how i wanted them to but of course they don't and I'm an idiot for thinking they would.

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By *umandass123Man
23 weeks ago

sutton

I feel like it should be one of the first things to do when reaching out. If you aren’t attracted to them you aren’t going to want to do anything anyway

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By *igR93Man
23 weeks ago

Sarcasm City

"I feel disappointed but also a bit dumb for conjuring up a face based on chatting... It's a bit like seeing a film made of a well loved book and the characters don't look how i wanted them to but of course they don't and I'm an idiot for thinking they would. "

Live and learn,

Life is a learning experience

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By *uffsandkinkCouple
23 weeks ago

leeds

When we've asked for the selfie we say something unasked for ones just delete and move on

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By *electableicecreamMan
23 weeks ago

The West

I've seen my look of confusion or disappointment on my face reflected in the faces people I've met without exchanging face pictures.

That said, I've had the same look on my face after meeting people that shaved off a decade of their life with filters too.

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By *ou only live onceMan
23 weeks ago

London

Yeah, that's a bummer.

I'll usually just say, probably slightly awkwardly, but as tactfully as I can, rather than just "sorry, I don't like your face".

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
23 weeks ago

somewhere

I insist on an up to date selfie too, if it's less than 6 months old, even that's pushing it, anyone still sending 8 year old pics as a face pic, kinda gets swiftly blocked, I know I've changed alot in that time.

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By *rsKOTCTWoman
23 weeks ago

Leeds

It happens, I try not to build up an image of anyone but the face is something I need to be attracted to or it's not happening, I can't kiss a face I don't like.

We can't all be attracted to everyone and that's ok.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
23 weeks ago

chichester

Ha to be the balance here I am going to other way. The body can totally swing it for me regardless of the face to a degree ..

Much like if someone has a pretty face but the body is remotely not what I like then there is no chance ..

As I just meet mostly for a one of fuck be that a club or arranged , the whole connection stuff is not really required ..

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By *veryday_Couple_Nextdoor OP Couple
23 weeks ago

Bristol

Thank you all for your responses. We were sincere and apologetic for saying the attraction wasn’t there. Gutting as it was, just couldn’t see ourselves being in a room with the lights on, with someone who ‘wasn’t our cup of tea’.

Good to hear as always others thoughts, so thank you all for your responses.

Take care

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