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By *laytime_13 OP   Woman
35 weeks ago

Lincs

If you knew the other person had feelings, the proper ones, would you play regardless?

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By *eroLondonMan
35 weeks ago

Mayfair

In a word: yes.

Clearly it's not as simple as that (for me) because it would depend on how far those feelings would manifest themselves. I wouldn't be looking for a relationship or anything resembling a 'spousal' type of commitment.

I still need feelings that delve somewhat beneath the veneer, beyond the superficial level for me to play with someone.

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By *illy IdolMan
35 weeks ago

Midlands

I have.

I'd always be clear where my feelings are at though and let them make the call. The only trouble is if they're not honest, it can get a little messy

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

I am currently going through this, I tried to let her down gently but it isnt't working

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

No. Absolutely not. If I knew someone had feelings that I could not and had no intention of reciprocating I would kindly and gently say no and walk away.

Continuing to play with them or be FWB would be unkind.

I had a FWB who wanted more so I firmly but kindly friend zoned them ...

.... equally I had a situationship with someone where I had unreciprocated feelings ... it was left to drift on for far too long before I ended it because it was detrimental to my mental health.

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

No I wouldn't because if I knew they have strong love feelings that means they'd told me or someone else hence proving they can't control those feelings enough to be safe and look after themselves.. I'd feel too responsible for them.

Of course if I also had strong feelings that would be a different matter. Then I would, why not?

Why do I have a feeling this one will come back to bite me in the ass

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
35 weeks ago

Southampton


"I am currently going through this, I tried to let her down gently but it isnt't working"

Think you'll just have to rip the plaster off....

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By *uriousscouserWoman
35 weeks ago

Wirral

No. I don't want drama and I'd suspect that would end up as a huge load of drama.

Wish them well and happy, but not with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

It takes someone special for me to want to play OP, so I guess there’s an element of feels already there on my part

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago


"I am currently going through this, I tried to let her down gently but it isnt't working

Think you'll just have to rip the plaster off.... "

I agree.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
35 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

No, not if I didn't feel the same

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
35 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

No. I don't want a relationship, and I would feel I was leading them on. It wouldn't be fair.

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago


"If you knew the other person had feelings, the proper ones, would you play regardless? "

If they did and I didn't, then no.

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By *hatKlungeEnigmaMan
35 weeks ago

St Leonards

No.

They'd probably manage them badly.

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By *allandathleticMan
35 weeks ago

Asgard

No. Fuck that.

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By *ansoffateMan
35 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I can think of exceptions, but as a general principle yes and it is desirable even the proper ones.

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
35 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

No, nothing like fucking with people's feeling, Intended or not

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

I'm happy to fuck my own head up, but not anyone else's. So no.

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By *eliWoman
35 weeks ago

.

Nope. It wouldn't sit right with me and I'd be painfully dry.

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
35 weeks ago

St Neots

Basic narcissism isn't it?

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By *ansoffateMan
35 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I feel like I've missed the point with this one.

Is it more that they have feelings, but I don't?

Apologies if that's a stupid question.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
35 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

Bit different for a couple I guess.

But when I was single I would never mess around with someone’s feelings - they would probably not be honest in the hope they could change your mind at some point.

K

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By *onkeynutWoman
35 weeks ago

somewhere

I’ve been that other person and it’s not a nice place to be. I wish he had walked away it would have been a lot easier rather than dragging it on…. So no, I wouldn’t do that to someone.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
35 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

[Removed by poster at 17/06/24 15:38:20]

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By *laytime_13 OP   Woman
35 weeks ago

Lincs

[Removed by poster at 17/06/24 15:59:49]

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By *laytime_13 OP   Woman
35 weeks ago

Lincs


"I feel like I've missed the point with this one.

Is it more that they have feelings, but I don't?

Apologies if that's a stupid question."

Sorry - yes, if you knew someone you were talking to or meeting with had proper feelings, but you didn’t, would you continue to meet with them or not.

Not a stupid question.

Possibly mine was, but I was pondering based off Coyotes thread, and also making an assumption that that person might have been clear that feelings weren’t reciprocated - in which case have you (generic you!) absolved yourself to carry on, by being clear where you are with the other person.

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By *allandathleticMan
35 weeks ago

Asgard

I'm 'no, fuck that' to both sides of the coin.

If I have feelings it's about self preservation (no one wants to see _allandathletic ugly crying because he's caught feelings for someone, and they don't reciprocate)

And

If they have feelings for me but I don't them. I won't allow myself to carry the burden of them being heartbroken.

Therefore "no, fuck that" x 2

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By *issmorganWoman
35 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

No I wouldn't, I'd don't think it would be fair.

I already have my partner, so I'm not looking for anything other than the odd meets (when I'm meeting).

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By *ansoffateMan
35 weeks ago

Sagittarius A


"I feel like I've missed the point with this one.

Is it more that they have feelings, but I don't?

Apologies if that's a stupid question.

Sorry - yes, if you knew someone you were talking to or meeting with had proper feelings, but you didn’t, would you continue to meet with them or not.

Not a stupid question.

Possibly mine was, but I was pondering based off Coyotes thread, and also making an assumption that that person might have been clear that feelings weren’t reciprocated - in which case have you (generic you!) absolved yourself to carry on, by being clear where you are with the other person."

AHH I see now, thank you. I did have an experience similar to that, going back onto the 'dating' app scene, after my wife died. I had feelings for her, but not on the level she did. I was open with her about it. It was hard for me, as I have a strong belief around respecting other people's autonomy of mind and she was adamant that she didn't mind the disparity - she was 'happy with whatever I was able to give her.' So I respected that and tried and it was good for a while.

She's a wonderful person, so intelligent and emotionally too. And understanding that I couldn't get passed the fact that I couldn't reciprocate fully. There was no rupture or falling out. I understood, but it still felt wrong, her wanting more than I could give, in terms of exclusivity. It wasn't even that there was someone else, I just knew that there could be. It affected me so much afterwards, I just pulled away entirely and didn't have any relationships or sex, for over a year. Then I came back here for the first time in 4 years.

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