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"Hate to disappoint Nero, but yes, happy to admit to enjoying writing some light hearted filth to the right folk, if it feels appropriate. Whether I’m any good at it or not is another point entirely "• My day is rarely complete and fulfilled if I haven't been set straight by a lady with a pierced décollatage. | |||
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"There's just something about our encounter that will make mascara run down my face. At what point will it start? The hurried unbuttoning, flinging garments at the floor? The entree, breathing in the frisson of excitement, feeling our bodies respond to each others' touch, each others' mouths? I fear it will be when I walk through the door. Allergies " Oh no! Stay away. I’m allergic | |||
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"There's just something about our encounter that will make mascara run down my face. At what point will it start? The hurried unbuttoning, flinging garments at the floor? The entree, breathing in the frisson of excitement, feeling our bodies respond to each others' touch, each others' mouths? I fear it will be when I walk through the door. Allergies " Yeah, pretty much like that, you nailed it  | |||
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"Hate to disappoint Nero, but yes, happy to admit to enjoying writing some light hearted filth to the right folk, if it feels appropriate. Whether I’m any good at it or not is another point entirely
•
My day is rarely complete and fulfilled if I haven't been set straight by a lady with a pierced décollatage."I aim to please | |||
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"'Aye up, he clocked her from over the bar at Shufty's Bongo Bingo Bonanza....He checked himself in the mirror before shimmying over (she thought he might have a medical problem, and did he need assistance....well lucky lady, there he was looking at her like a tramp looks at chips....'Ow do, thee looks loverly, fancy dropping thy kecks for a five finger knuckle shuffle and a packet of chips? Ooh I say, she said....Thinking chips might be worth giving this silver tongue devil a chance.... As they stood outside the chippy, chip grease on her chin glistening in the moonlight she invited him to come hither '
[/quote"Well thanks a lot for making my best chatup lines and techniques public. It took me bloody years to perfect them and now they're out in public
So much for my wonderful advantage.
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"Most of the ones I've received seem to consist of bending over, hair pulling, and a lot of pounding going on... I'm fairly sure I could knock something similar up! Might be more a niche set of gents who'd enjoy getting them though " Ummmm. We've got one revelling in the idea of me being incapacitated (disabled) and the word destroying and suchlike involved. It's just | |||
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I'm not one of them. | |||
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"'Aye up, he clocked her from over the bar at Shufty's Bongo Bingo Bonanza....He checked himself in the mirror before shimmying over (she thought he might have a medical problem, and did he need assistance....well lucky lady, there he was looking at her like a tramp looks at chips....'Ow do, thee looks loverly, fancy dropping thy kecks for a five finger knuckle shuffle and a packet of chips? Ooh I say, she said....Thinking chips might be worth giving this silver tongue devil a chance.... As they stood outside the chippy, chip grease on her chin glistening in the moonlight she invited him to come hither '
[/quote
Well thanks a lot for making my best chatup lines and techniques public.
It took me bloody years to perfect them and now they're out in public
So much for my wonderful advantage.
"But you never even let me finish me chips!!! | |||
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"Most of the ones I've received seem to consist of bending over, hair pulling, and a lot of pounding going on... I'm fairly sure I could knock something similar up! Might be more a niche set of gents who'd enjoy getting them though Ummmm. We've got one revelling in the idea of me being incapacitated (disabled) and the word destroying and suchlike involved. It's just "Jesus | |||
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"Evidently ladies cannot write graphic stories, judging by fate of this thread. Imaginative and graphic stories are the stuff of legend for us men." Good job Nero for giving fate a helping hand. | |||
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"There's just something about our encounter that will make mascara run down my face. At what point will it start? The hurried unbuttoning, flinging garments at the floor? The entree, breathing in the frisson of excitement, feeling our bodies respond to each others' touch, each others' mouths? I fear it will be when I walk through the door. Allergies " I had a brief dalliance with someone a couple of years ago. We really liked each other. But something in her house just sent me into some kind of allergic spin. We spent weeks trying to work it out and then she said maybe you are allergic to me, we laughed it off at the time but then it gradually stopped being funny. After we stopped seeing each other it completely stopped and I haven't had the issues since. | |||
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"Ladies - those graphic stories you're sometimes sent. Can you write one? (Either in honour of an anonymous Fabber, or just a tribute to the genre to no one in particular)" Are they meant to be the little bit of sick in your mouth style of the fantasist message? Or actual sexy smut? J | |||
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"Ladies - those graphic stories you're sometimes sent. Can you write one? (Either in honour of an anonymous Fabber, or just a tribute to the genre to no one in particular) Are they meant to be the little bit of sick in your mouth style of the fantasist message? Or actual sexy smut? J" Either/or. I'm not sure I could emulate the style of messages I sometimes get | |||
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"Ladies - those graphic stories you're sometimes sent. Can you write one? (Either in honour of an anonymous Fabber, or just a tribute to the genre to no one in particular) Are they meant to be the little bit of sick in your mouth style of the fantasist message? Or actual sexy smut? J Either/or. I'm not sure I could emulate the style of messages I sometimes get "We've actually only had those a couple of times. They make me chuckle because I don't know them from Adam and they're expecting me to leave the door open *and* be tied to the bed.
J | |||
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"Ladies - those graphic stories you're sometimes sent. Can you write one? (Either in honour of an anonymous Fabber, or just a tribute to the genre to no one in particular) Are they meant to be the little bit of sick in your mouth style of the fantasist message? Or actual sexy smut? J Either/or. I'm not sure I could emulate the style of messages I sometimes get
We've actually only had those a couple of times. They make me chuckle because I don't know them from Adam and they're expecting me to leave the door open *and* be tied to the bed.
J "I've had several to the effect of, you'll squirt so much that you'll flood the conurbation of Greater Manchester. That sounds like less of a fun time, and more of a medical emergency. | |||
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"I’d love to get a just for giggles sexually graphic message from a lovely lady even if it was the most tongue in cheek and cliche ridden thing ever written lol" So you seek fun, Mr. Stanley? You'll never have had fun like this before. Come to postcode XXX XXX at exactly 11:45pm. Come alone, and tell no one. Wear a velvet g-string. I shall remove it with my teeth. The elements will not stand in our way. I will lay you down on the bonnet of your car and tease you as I begin to take your clothes off. You'll be begging for relief - and you've never experienced anything like this before. You'll forget that it's cold and rainy, forget everything, except my electric touch. | |||
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"Oh there are some fabulous smut writers who also own a vagina I'm not one of them."There really are. Some of them are right here on this forum, too. I’ve had some fabulous things in my inbox just this past week. I’ve been left hot under the collar (and hard under the desk). | |||
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"I’d love to get a just for giggles sexually graphic message from a lovely lady even if it was the most tongue in cheek and cliche ridden thing ever written lol So you seek fun, Mr. Stanley? You'll never have had fun like this before. Come to postcode XXX XXX at exactly 11:45pm. Come alone, and tell no one. Wear a velvet g-string. I shall remove it with my teeth. The elements will not stand in our way. I will lay you down on the bonnet of your car and tease you as I begin to take your clothes off. You'll be begging for relief - and you've never experienced anything like this before. You'll forget that it's cold and rainy, forget everything, except my electric touch. " Oh my word! I’m in my way tingling with the anticipation of your sweet caress  | |||
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"Oh there are some fabulous smut writers who also own a vagina I'm not one of them.
There really are. Some of them are right here on this forum, too. I’ve had some fabulous things in my inbox just this past week. I’ve been left hot under the collar (and hard under the desk).
"I really love this sort of humble brag. See men, some of you do receive messages. Even sexy sex ones (the quality can't be guaranteed but it's the thought that counts). | |||
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"I really love this sort of humble brag." Well, partly I’m mentioning it to show my appreciation when you-don’t-know-who sees this thread. But yes. Also bragging.  | |||
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"Ladies - those graphic stories you're sometimes sent. Can you write one? (Either in honour of an anonymous Fabber, or just a tribute to the genre to no one in particular) Are they meant to be the little bit of sick in your mouth style of the fantasist message? Or actual sexy smut? J Either/or. I'm not sure I could emulate the style of messages I sometimes get
We've actually only had those a couple of times. They make me chuckle because I don't know them from Adam and they're expecting me to leave the door open *and* be tied to the bed.
J
I've had several to the effect of, you'll squirt so much that you'll flood the conurbation of Greater Manchester.
That sounds like less of a fun time, and more of a medical emergency. "Will they be paddling a canoe? | |||
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"Oh there are some fabulous smut writers who also own a vagina I'm not one of them.
There really are. Some of them are right here on this forum, too. I’ve had some fabulous things in my inbox just this past week. I’ve been left hot under the collar (and hard under the desk).
"While it hasn't happened recently, I have also occasionally received some exquisite filth (although not as much as I'd like) and while I do enjoy writing it I hope it's better than the examples given thus far. I think women generally write better erotica than men - for one thing they actually know what gets them off so they don't come up with the kind of ridiculous scenarios mentioned in this topic. And that isn't even to mention expressiveness and skill with words. | |||
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"Evidently ladies cannot write graphic stories, judging by fate of this thread. Imaginative and graphic stories are the stuff of legend for us men." You do come across as quit the bellend sometimes | |||
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"Evidently ladies cannot write graphic stories, judging by fate of this thread. Imaginative and graphic stories are the stuff of legend for us men. You do come across as quit the bellend sometimes " So do you now!!! | |||
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"Evidently ladies cannot write graphic stories, judging by fate of this thread. Imaginative and graphic stories are the stuff of legend for us men. · You do come across as quit the bellend sometimes " • Not sometimes. ·All· of the time. But I'm happy to disappoint you. | |||
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" You do come across as quit the bellend sometimes • Not sometimes. ·All· of the time. But I'm happy to disappoint you." "I'm sure wherever my dad is, he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending." — Jack Whitehall | |||
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As a twenty something whilst deployed in various shiteholes, all I had to relieve the tedium of actually existing was free pieces of blue paper that I could send home to my wife. I think there might actually be a box in the attic with those literations in. They ranged between the elaborate and downright graphic (we swung or swinged or swang at 22).
Move into a period of life when a 30 seconds blow and go is pretty much all the bloody time you may be lucky enough not to have a tyrannical teenager or bloody useless young adult hassling you for something and waxing anything let alone lyrical is but a long lost dream.
I'm actually looking forward to when they all bugger off - that includes work so that I can dust off the quill and find a fresh pot of ink and desperately attempt to remember a quarter of the words I'm sure I used at some point before. | |||
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