FabSwingers.com forum: Ghosted

By *eadintheclouds OP Man
30 weeks ago

Manchester

Ranting here for therapy!

This morning I’ve been properly ghosted for the first time.

This was a girl I was getting along with outside of fab. All seemed to be going well. The type where you’re excited to chat to them. I was super into her!

Out of nowhere I’m blocked this morning and I’ve not the foggiest idea why. Before you all jump on me. I’m self aware. I genuinely don’t know what I could have done to upset. All seemed lovely. :-/

It’s knocked me a bit. How do other ghosted individuals countenance this experience?

You wish you could just ask them what the hell happened but you’re cut off…

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
30 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

It happens. It sucks I know. The worst bit is you’ll (probably) never get closure in it. You just have to ‘charge it to the game’ and move on.

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
30 weeks ago

The Continental

Maybe I’m just thick skinned, as I’ve never been bothered by this phenomenon.

I get that for whatever reason, people decide to move on, and the easiest way to avoid having to answer a load of awkward “why not” type questions…..is to surgically cut off a conversation.

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By *mmaleiaWoman
30 weeks ago

Trowbridge

It’s gutting, but try not to overthink it, it’s fickle here

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By *eadintheclouds OP Man
30 weeks ago

Manchester

"Maybe I’m just thick skinned, as I’ve never been bothered by this phenomenon.

I get that for whatever reason, people decide to move on, and the easiest way to avoid having to answer a load of awkward “why not” type questions…..is to surgically cut off a conversation. "

Ultimately that’s the reasoning. I’ve definitely had people cut me off before, as has everyone. It’s just this time I was just a bit too invested. I had my hopes up.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
30 weeks ago

East Sussex

Had you met?

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By *ougarsilkWoman
30 weeks ago

Pleasure heaven

You've probably done nothing wrong. Don't overthink it. Think of it as their loss and something better is destined for you.

Some individuals chat to numerous people and ghost when they see something better or their partner finds them out.

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By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
30 weeks ago

Stourbridge

OP,

Happens quite often.

People change their minds, some were never real, sometimes it was someone having a wank because they were messing you about.

File it under never mind and move on.

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By *eadintheclouds OP Man
30 weeks ago

Manchester

"Had you met?"

Nope. Solid few days chatting. I’d video called her a couple times. Be an impressive feat of technology to not be real

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By *hief_Of_AlwaysMan
30 weeks ago

Swindon

Happens to the best of us…Even me LOL

I don’t know the situation, but there could be a bajillion reasons why.

*Death in the family

*Cold feet

*Her ex came back

*She found better deal - Sorry mate, you & I aren’t special. Not on here.

BUT don’t let the negativity turn inward - Don’t look at yourself negatively.

If she truly was “all that”, she would’ve been open & honest with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

Welcome to Modern age commutation.

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By *eadintheclouds OP Man
30 weeks ago

Manchester

"You've probably done nothing wrong. Don't overthink it. Think of it as their loss and something better is destined for you.

Some individuals chat to numerous people and ghost when they see something better or their partner finds them out. "

The. Was she hiding from a partner? question has been running through my mind.

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By *eadintheclouds OP Man
30 weeks ago

Manchester

"Happens to the best of us…Even me LOL

I don’t know the situation, but there could be a bajillion reasons why.

*Death in the family

*Cold feet

*Her ex came back

*She found better deal - Sorry mate, you & I aren’t special. Not on here.

BUT don’t let the negativity turn inward - Don’t look at yourself negatively.

If she truly was “all that”, she would’ve been open & honest with you."

Wise words

Thanks

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
30 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Had you met?

Nope. Solid few days chatting. I’d video called her a couple times. Be an impressive feat of technology to not be real

Ok. I don't think you've been ghosted in the true sense of the word. Maybe the definition is changing but I reserve 'ghosting' to describe a situation where people have met a few times, have some sort of in person relationship going on however casual and suddenly one just disappears off the face of the earth.

This woman has for whatever reason decided she doesn't want any more to do with you and taken the easy way out. It's horrible because it leaves you wondering why but the bottom line is she just doesn't want to talk to you any more.

It'll sting for a bit, let it, then move forward a little sadder and wiser.

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By *ougarsilkWoman
30 weeks ago

Pleasure heaven

"You've probably done nothing wrong. Don't overthink it. Think of it as their loss and something better is destined for you.

Some individuals chat to numerous people and ghost when they see something better or their partner finds them out.

The. Was she hiding from a partner? question has been running through my mind. "

If it was then she's probably had her fun and lied too which isn't good for trust.

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
30 weeks ago

somewhere

Always a difficult one and I have done my fair share of ghosting, I'm not proud of it and here is a reason why:

Something was said over the course of a conversation that made me go "ohhh" and not in a good way, it could be something as innocent as they liked to call me "mommy" during sex... absolutely amazing chemistry before then and bam! Hit me with something like that, nope.

I've been ghosted too, later finding out said person was already in a relationship (I'm a woman and my stalking skills have nothing on Martha from baby reindeer!).

Someone better (sorry op) has come along, you might have just been someone to chat too and fill a gap? So many reasons why but you may never find out why.

For the record, after I was brutally messaged about ghosting once (forgot to block on something) I stopped doing it, I grew a pair and told whoever I was talking to "thanks but no thanks" or words to that effect.

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By *eroLondonMan
30 weeks ago

Mayfair

Fortunately my dear OP, there is a cavalcade of courtesans on this site waiting to be woo'd by you. Pay no more heed to this womanly apparition who left you and aim your bow in the direction of the women forumites. They are more forgiving.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

Just experienced the same thing mate, met several times and she couldn't wait to see me again and messaged me constantly. Then all of a sudden her ex appears and she blocked me never to be seen again, so I made the usual inferences...

It's definitely the most cutting way to get rid of someone, it does make it very hard when you've made a really good connection with them and it wasn't purely sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

"Fortunately my dear OP, there is a cavalcade of courtesans on this site waiting to be woo'd by you. Pay no more heed to this womanly apparition who left you and aim your bow in the direction of the women forumites. They are more forgiving."

#NotAllAreMoreForgiving

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
30 weeks ago

North West

"Ranting here for therapy!

This morning I’ve been properly ghosted for the first time.

This was a girl I was getting along with outside of fab. All seemed to be going well. The type where you’re excited to chat to them. I was super into her!

It’s knocked me a bit. How do other ghosted individuals countenance this experience?

You wish you could just ask them what the hell happened but you’re cut off…

Yes, I'd like to know what the hell happened, but you can't, because you're cut off.

It's happened to me only once....

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By *esiGalGuy123Man
30 weeks ago

Find me..

All that build up excitement fruiting to nothing. Sorry

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By *eroLondonMan
30 weeks ago

Mayfair

#NotAllAreMoreForgiving

•

Yes, that's true. Harlots!!

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

Yes, I'd like to know what the hell happened, but you can't, because you're cut off.

It's happened to me only once...."

It's happened to me three times on Fab, but that's their choice. However, thirty years ago I did it to a bloke I have known since we were five, he has never understood and still reaches out via our mutual friends. Sometimes the reasons only make sense to you.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
30 weeks ago

East Sussex

We met a guy twice socially, messaged frequently and arranged a day and time to meet at his house. He just stopped responding to us and never gave his address.

We both felt a bit miffed and I felt that he probably found me less attractive than he made out.

We didn't question it further than that really

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
30 weeks ago

East Sussex

Oh also I've had a platonic woman friend ghost me. We knew each other very well for over twenty years. She literally dropped off the radar about eight years ago. I do often wonder about her

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

We both felt a bit miffed and I felt that he probably found me less attractive than he made out.

No it wasn't you, it was your partner (shhh don't tell him)

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By *ellhungvweMan
30 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"Maybe I’m just thick skinned, as I’ve never been bothered by this phenomenon.

I get that for whatever reason, people decide to move on, and the easiest way to avoid having to answer a load of awkward “why not” type questions…..is to surgically cut off a conversation. "

I am with this. If people don’t have the guts to say they don’t want to see you anymore then think what they would do later on - just be thankful you have dodged a bullet is my view.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
30 weeks ago

East Sussex

We both felt a bit miffed and I felt that he probably found me less attractive than he made out.

No it wasn't you, it was your partner (shhh don't tell him)

I'm tough I can take it

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By *ouise 555Woman
30 weeks ago

Dorchester

This has happened to me a few times, usually the ones you want most too! In my opinion them blocking is better than online but ignoring you then msg after a few weeks it's a horrible thing to do, it makes you feel unsure of your own worth, but thay said they are not ment for you something wonderful could be around the corner xx

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By *ML49Man
30 weeks ago

Burnley

Sounds like she has zero empathy. We live and learn. Next time be more guarded yourself. Try not to get dragged in so quickly. It is difficult as some people are very good at being affectionate then dropping you at a moments notice.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
30 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

It’s a shit way to treat anyone in life OP. And it’s not great for your MH. But please don’t see it as your issue. Sending hugs

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By *ot to giggleWoman
30 weeks ago

Coventry

It happens all the time! Some here say due diligence, but people chat loads then vanish... life stuff happens.

Gets a bit confusing if you over think it, hope your ok.

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By *ansoffateMan
30 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I think there's a difference between entitlement and being inconsiderate.

For example I don't think you are entitled to know, but I do think she has been inconsiderate of your feelings.

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By *ellinever70Woman
30 weeks ago

Ayrshire

Experience teaches you not to get very invested until you've at least seen the whites of their eyes

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By *osey WalesMan
30 weeks ago

Surrey

Track them down through insta, faceache or some other means. Find out where they live and or work and approach them in the street and demand to know what they hell they think they are doing ghosting you.

Actually, dont do this.

Never do this

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By *iberius61Man
30 weeks ago

Pontefract

Quite likely nothing you've done, more likely something they've done

e.g. found someone else, or their partner found out.

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By *rBobbMan
30 weeks ago

Birmingham

It's a horrible way to be treated Op and some of us totally understand how you feel. You will probably never know the reasoning behind it. It's easy to say but it's not a reflection on you and it says more about them.

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By *eadintheclouds OP Man
30 weeks ago

Manchester

"Had you met?

Nope. Solid few days chatting. I’d video called her a couple times. Be an impressive feat of technology to not be real

It'll sting for a bit, let it, then move forward a little sadder and wiser.

Interesting. This scenario defo passes for a gen z definition of ghosting.

Sadder and wiser

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

I've had it happen and it sucks.

On the flip side I've also done it, not out of malice or not even because I'm not interested. Just because at that moment I couldn't deal with anything or anyone and the easiest way was just to block/stop contact.

Some people say it takes minutes to just tell someone, sometimes those minutes are just too much.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
30 weeks ago

Southampton

"I've had it happen and it sucks.

Some people say it takes minutes to just tell someone, sometimes those minutes are just too much."

This... sending hugs OP

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By *piritualBlackBWW1979Woman
30 weeks ago

Medway

"Ranting here for therapy!

This morning I’ve been properly ghosted for the first time.

This was a girl I was getting along with outside of fab. All seemed to be going well. The type where you’re excited to chat to them. I was super into her!

It’s knocked me a bit. How do other ghosted individuals countenance this experience?

You wish you could just ask them what the hell happened but you’re cut off…

It's really horrible. As long as you know that you didn't do anything, you have nothing to feel bad about.

Just remember that if they did this they would have done it later which would have felt even worse. People who ghost, do so because they can't communicate, fear of confrontation or they weren't serious in the first place. So sorry! Keep smiling and have fun

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
30 weeks ago

little house on the praire

You can hardly call a few days chatting online then blocked as ghosting.

Ghosting is when your in a real life relationship and then they just dissappear. Ghosting is to often used wrong lyrics.

You will never know why she blocked you so best to put it in the past and move on

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By *ondiego85Man
30 weeks ago

nottingham

It’s not nice. But:

1. Lots of people here (including ladies) don’t have the balls to explain why, and some are just shit people

2. Plenty of fish in the sea. Who cares?

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
30 weeks ago

Wherever

It feels like a literal punch in the guts at that moment and time but truly OP, we will never know what is going on in someone else’s mind and life. Very rarely it’s something to do with us, or what we’ve done.

Sorry to hear that happened to you, it happened to me recently and I know how it feels. Build yourself up on this experience and take it as a lesson.

Sometimes you don’t really need a closure.

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By (user no longer on site)
30 weeks ago

OP it's not easy if you've built up an idea of a person and started to have some hopes.

I accept conversations fizzle and sometimes people just move on. So I don't invest till I've met someone.

First meeting I don't expect anything further so ask outright if interested in meeting again.

I've let conversations fizzle. But also generally just tell people if not interested.

I've only "ghosted" 2 people and that's because of the way they behaved and were not taking no for am answer. So blocked them.

The worst for me was someone I saw over a few months we'd spent alot of time with each other...... then heard nothing ...... totally disappeared. Hindsight I think there were things I could have done differently BUT ultimately not the right person for me.

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By *eadintheclouds OP Man
30 weeks ago

Manchester

Thank you all for your kindness. Been some wise words from forumites.

Not unexpected. Ultimately a lot of people with heads screwed on in this community.

Thank you

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By *ex HolesMan
30 weeks ago

Up North

There’s about 9billion lady holes on this planet and you’re bothered about 3 of them.

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By *coobyBoobyDooWoman
30 weeks ago

Markfield

Keep on keeping on, it hurts in the moment and leaves us confused but way better that this happens at this point compared to being stood up, or having met and then it happening, although it won’t feel like that to you right now x

Totally her issue, not likely to be a you thing at all.

Possibly she feels she can’t live up to her projected image x

Absolutely very likely she was hiding something.

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By *eadintheclouds OP Man
30 weeks ago

Manchester

"There’s about 9billion lady holes on this planet and you’re bothered about 3 of them. "

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By *orksRockerMan
30 weeks ago

Bradford

Feel for you OP. It's happened to me and no doubt countless others on this site. I only seem to find it with people here though... Regular, vanilla people don't ever do that... You may stop chatting to each other as much but they never block. That's the special gift only by those you find on fab.

You just have to think objectively and realise they were never really your friend and so do you really want them in your life...

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By *eadintheclouds OP Man
30 weeks ago

Manchester

I have read all of these!

Thank you all for taking the time. x

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
30 weeks ago

Southampton

"I have read all of these!

Thank you all for taking the time. x"

Xx .

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