FabSwingers.com forum: How do you feel about the word fat?

By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

Does it make you uncomfortable to hear people describe themselves that way? Would you describe someone else that way?

Is it good that words are being reclaimed at times?

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
24 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I don’t like it. I don’t use it for other people cos I know how I feel about it.

Mrs TMN x

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
24 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

I prefer phat innit

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"I prefer phat innit

Mr "

Phat and thicc are GREAT words

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By *ad NannaWoman
24 weeks ago

East London

I've always said fat, and so have my family and friends.

It's used as a descriptor more than an insult.

I'm not offended when someone points out how fat I am. I know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"I've always said fat, and so have my family and friends.

It's used as a descriptor more than an insult.

I'm not offended when someone points out how fat I am. I know."

I’d be upset if someone called me fat. But I call myself fat as a description also.

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By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
24 weeks ago

Stourbridge

I don’t like it but it’s true

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

The word itself doesn’t hold any meaning per se. It’s how it’s used. If, for example, a doctor was to tell me I have a lot of fat around my midsection (true story) then I’m not going to start protesting outside the GP’s. But if some random in the street poked my stomach and said ‘alright fatty?’ then they’d be at severe risk of receiving a solid headbutt.

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By *ad NannaWoman
24 weeks ago

East London

I don't like people having to think of other ways to describe my fatness.

Large makes me feel like an elephant. Chubby, is a cute baby. Say fat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"The word itself doesn’t hold any meaning per se. It’s how it’s used. If, for example, a doctor was to tell me I have a lot of fat around my midsection (true story) then I’m not going to start protesting outside the GP’s. But if some random in the street poked my stomach and said ‘alright fatty?’ then they’d be at severe risk of receiving a solid headbutt."

Alright ‘fatty’ did make me laugh ngl

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By *ad NannaWoman
24 weeks ago

East London

"I've always said fat, and so have my family and friends.

It's used as a descriptor more than an insult.

I'm not offended when someone points out how fat I am. I know.

I’d be upset if someone called me fat. But I call myself fat as a description also.

Someone pointing out my size would probably be because they have an issue with me, or they're a medical person and they have to say something. We have to be made aware we need to lose weight, for our health, because we've never thought of dieting

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

I heard a nine year old saying something interesting about the word recently.

They used it to describe someone. Their parent gave them a long chat about how inappropriate it was to comment on another person’s body. The child said, “But I don’t understand. You make it seem like being fat is bad? Why? I only called them fat because they in fact fat. It doesn’t mean it’s bad. I don’t see them as bad for being fat. They are it’s fat. Even I’m fat at times. Especially if I eat a large meal but it doesn’t mean that’s all I am. They can be fat, and fun. Fat and funny. Why is it bad? If I call someone blonde and they are in fact blonde is that bad too?”. I thought, impressive. To them it was no different than simply an adjective with nothing else attached to it. From that perspective without anything else weighing the word down, no pun intended, what is so and about it?

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By *rBobbMan
24 weeks ago

Birmingham

I never use that word. I detest it and find it totally derogatory.

Even if someone chose to use that word about themselves, I would respect their decision but still not follow suit.

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By *ad NannaWoman
24 weeks ago

East London

My long term partner calls me his fat bitch

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By *illy IdolMan
24 weeks ago

Midlands

I prefer bubbly or pretty

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"I don't like people having to think of other ways to describe my fatness.

Large makes me feel like an elephant. Chubby, is a cute baby. Say fat."

I think it feels rude but I do get your perspective. It’s a reflection of how I feel about the word clearly.

But I don’t mind calling myself fat and hate when people lie and say ‘no you’re not’.

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By *ad NannaWoman
24 weeks ago

East London

I'm more offended by being called stupid.

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By *ad NannaWoman
24 weeks ago

East London

"I don't like people having to think of other ways to describe my fatness.

Large makes me feel like an elephant. Chubby, is a cute baby. Say fat.

I think it feels rude but I do get your perspective. It’s a reflection of how I feel about the word clearly.

But I don’t mind calling myself fat and hate when people lie and say ‘no you’re not’. "

I've had that a lot, when I wasn't so fat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"I heard a nine year old saying something interesting about the word recently.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
24 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I don't like to call people fat. I called myself it a lot a few years ago. I don't like making people feel that way about themselves.

It's a perfectly valid descriptor for fatty tissue or overweightness. But also, it's not that difficult to not be a cunt and consider other people's feelings on commonly used negatively words.

If someone is happy describing themselves as fat, great, I'm happy to use whatever terms they're comfortable with. But I won't assume someone won't carry that word in their head and hate themselves for it without a direct statement.

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By *eliWoman
24 weeks ago

I am fat. Sometimes I'm chubby because my face is cutesy and I'm giving more chubby vibes but yes. I'm fat.

I wouldn't describe another as fat because I know the potential hurt that could stem from it, how difficult it is to forget the negative connotations when the word has been weaponised against you.

I think on Fab people can use it against you so unless you have a relationship (incl platonic) with another, it's best to steer clear of using it.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
24 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I heard a nine year old saying something interesting about the word recently.

I think for most people it’s very hard to separate it out from the insult it so often is. I also think it’s a subjective descriptor rather than a definitive one like blonde. I hear you though, and I love the no bs of children’s logic

Mrs TMN x

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
24 weeks ago

St Neots

"I heard a nine year old saying something interesting about the word recently.

Can't really answer why "fat" is inherently bad. But I have a Son and would also tell him that calling someone "fat" isn't nice, especially if it's to one of his classmates that could possibly trigger self esteem issues that carry on into adulthood

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"I heard a nine year old saying something interesting about the word recently.

I get that. It is historically negative and even demeaning. What impressed me was that this young person could see it simply a descriptor without the negativity in a world where the majority do not.

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By *hunky GentMan
24 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I prefer 'big-boy'.

Tbh - I'm OK with it.

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By *allandathleticMan
24 weeks ago

Asgard

As others have said. I don't see it as a bad word. However, when it is used in a rude way, to cause hurt or harm to someone's feelings doesn't that just make them a bad person and not a bad word?

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
24 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"I prefer bubbly or pretty "

But what if they are neither, what if they are fat

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
24 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I prefer bubbly or pretty

But what if they are neither, what if they are fat"

Are you bubbly or pretty?

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By *ongandharderMan
24 weeks ago

Rotherham

Not a good thing to say

But just because some people don't like it doesn't mean its not true in some cases

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By *ad NannaWoman
24 weeks ago

East London

"I prefer bubbly or pretty "

What if they're miserable and ugly, like me?

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By *os19Man
24 weeks ago

Edmonton

My former manager who I never got on with and has now moved to another office use to ask me if she needed to lose weight or if she was fat.I told her losing weight had to be her decision and I would never describe her as fat but instead used the word voluptuous which she didn’t like so I said to her ok you are fat but there are 3 other ladies in the office fatter than you.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

I’ve reclaimed it and don’t see it as a negative word anymore so use it for myself, and if someone says to make ‘aww don’t use that word for yourself!!’ I just educate them on why I don’t see it as a bad word

Usually, people come round to the idea of it not having negative connotations and it’s simply a descriptive word

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By *eliWoman
24 weeks ago

"I prefer bubbly or pretty

What if they're miserable and ugly, like me?"

With the greatest respect, what utter bollocks.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
24 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"I prefer bubbly or pretty

But what if they are neither, what if they are fat

Are you bubbly or pretty?

I am all things to everyone

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
24 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

With the greatest respect"

Uh oh, Meli’s raging

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
24 weeks ago

St Leonards

I'm good with it for me, for an awful lot of reasons, and sensitive to how others prefer its presence or absence.

Amongst male friends, calling each other fat ugly cunts who stink like shit is a genuine and deep affection.

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By *ickey ThumbWoman
24 weeks ago

South Down

I'm fat and have no issue with the word when it's used solely as a descriptor.

I do, however, take issue with it being used as an insult.

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By *eliWoman
24 weeks ago

With the greatest respect

Uh oh, Meli’s raging"

Oh it's normally so true! If I send an email or message saying that... I'm trying very, very hard to remain respectful.

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
24 weeks ago

St Neots

Some people don't have a choice for a whole host of mental/physical reasons but does anyone actually enjoy being fat?

Majority of people will already know that they look and feel alot better about themselves when they are less "fat".

So I think it's just a shitty thing to point out to anyone whether they have reclaimed the word or not.

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By *obilebottomMan
24 weeks ago

All over

What percentage?. Seriously would never use to describe someone but ok if they want to apply that to themselves if that is what they like. It is only taken as degogative by some. Others only like 'fat' people. Is a wonderful varied world out there that hopefully everyone loves someone

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By *ansoffateMan
24 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

It's situational - I feel like a parrot.

If it's a term someone is comfortable with then that's generally fine. Although it's not a term I would throw around to describe someone, without them establishing their comfort with it first.

I can't stand the 'you are not fat you a beautiful' thing, as if beauty and being slim are synonymous.

However, all that being said I've been a carer to someone with Anorexia Nervosa and enabling body dysmorphia when someone is emaciated is not something I go for either.

It's a balance I am all for body positivity, self-acceptance and personal choice, there are situations on either end of the scale when people are risking their well-being and that can have an impact on those around them also.

So if you identify as being fat are comfortable with that and the term more power to you. I feel no reason to jump on the euphemism treadmill. I do my best to respect people's autonomy.

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By *ecretpantyTV/TS
24 weeks ago

lisburn

I think it's ok for a fat person to use the word. Not so for thin people.

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By *ongandharderMan
24 weeks ago

Rotherham

What do people think to obese as a descriptor

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By *rPeachyMan
24 weeks ago

Bristol

When I were a lad you couldn't call a fat person obese.

Now you can't call an obese person fat.

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By *ash0000Man
24 weeks ago

Southwest

Can you say big boned instead?

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By *ansoffateMan
24 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

"What do people think to obese as a descriptor "

I consider it in medical terms a bit like emaciated. It's generally defined by BMI and it's significance is the elevated risks of associated health conditions. Being the choice of any individual, with capacity, to act upon or not, as they see fit.

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By *reat me rightWoman
24 weeks ago

Rotherham

"I've always said fat, and so have my family and friends.

It's used as a descriptor more than an insult.

I'm not offended when someone points out how fat I am. I know."

This

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
24 weeks ago

Herts

I’ve been called fat a few times on here (already). I think the idea was I’d be upset or something.

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By *iverstMan
24 weeks ago

Rossendale

I hate being negative about anyone’s appearance. Simple words can hurt deeply and then be carried with people for a long time, sometimes for the rest of their lives.

“Fat” is often used in a derogatory way so even when only used as a description it can often have that hurtful association with it.

Also if someone is “fat” it certainly doesn’t mean they are not beautiful/sexy/desirable.

As someone who suffered bullying in those early years of my life, I can say that that kind of hurt lasts – it still shows in my lack of confidence to this day.

However my confidence is significantly improved now thanks to four years of dentistry, a long operation, 30 screws and four plates in my face, and three months eating through a straw!!

Enjoy who you are fabbers - often someone’s most attractive element is their personality (in my humblest of opinions).

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
24 weeks ago

North West

"I've always said fat, and so have my family and friends.

It's used as a descriptor more than an insult.

I'm not offended when someone points out how fat I am. I know.

I’d be upset if someone called me fat. But I call myself fat as a description also.

This is basically me. I can call myself whatever I like but other people can't. I know I'm fat. I don't need someone else to point it out to me and no amount of pointing it out is going to change my fatness.

I'm going to reclaim "Rubenesque"

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
24 weeks ago

North West

"When I were a lad you couldn't call a fat person obese.

Now you can't call an obese person fat."

I'm both fat and obese.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

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By *inxy777Woman
24 weeks ago

essex

"I've always said fat, and so have my family and friends.

It's used as a descriptor more than an insult.

I'm not offended when someone points out how fat I am. I know."

This x

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

It describes what it is.

I don't call other people it but I would myself.

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By *enelope2UWoman
24 weeks ago

Fife

Depends on context I'm fat I know I am fat but I don't need anyone else telling me that or stating they like fat chics etc.

They can say they prefer confidence a woman comfortable in her body or a woman who cares if her appearance..there's no size for those attributes

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester

I think it does depend on context sometimes.

I have had a lot of negativity from people over the years about my body and the word fat has been weaponised a lot, especially from complete strangers which had a very negative impact on me as a young girl. I would never use it to describe another person, I'd just say they're larger, bigger, voluptuous, curvy or whatever seemed appropriate. And in some contexts when the words are said in a malicious/nasty/hurtful way it isn't very nice.

But I use it about myself, because it is just a word and I am fat I have mirrors in my house I know what I look like

not in a negative way necessarily, but someone will say how much younger I look than my age (I get this a lot) and I'll say a comment like "oh well being fat has its advantages, natural collagen keeps the skin plump and stops my wrinkles" in a semi humorous way and I can see their uncomfortableness. But I'm literally just staring a fact haha I'm not delusional about my appearance.

I actually quite dislike when people say "aww you're not fat you're pretty" or "you're not fat you're beautiful" sorry, can I not be both? There's plenty of pretty/beautiful/cute fat women out there. They aren't mutually exclusive.

I also find the term bbw really cringe and would rather call myself fat then a bbw

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By *illy IdolMan
24 weeks ago

Midlands

"I prefer bubbly or pretty

But what if they are neither, what if they are fat"

Lie

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By *inkyycurvyyWoman
24 weeks ago

Manchester

"I prefer bubbly or pretty "

Being fat doesn't necessarily equate to being bubbly, some of us are miserable cunts

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By *emorefridaCouple
24 weeks ago

La la land

Depends on the context, I generally don't use the word myself tend to use obese to describe myself.

Think in the past more so people would use fat as part of an insult, that fat cow for example so it does have those connotations. Which is why I think it's a troublesome word versus obese.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
24 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"Depends on the context, I generally don't use the word myself tend to use obese to describe myself.

Think in the past more so people would use fat as part of an insult, that fat cow for example so it does have those connotations. Which is why I think it's a troublesome word versus obese. "

Yeah but ‘that obese cow’ just doesn’t scan nearly so well

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By *im_1878Man
24 weeks ago

Formby

It’s a word

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Depends on the context, I generally don't use the word myself tend to use obese to describe myself.

Think in the past more so people would use fat as part of an insult, that fat cow for example so it does have those connotations. Which is why I think it's a troublesome word versus obese. "

Completely get you. But if anyone called me obese I am scrapping them.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
24 weeks ago

Wirral

I wouldn't call someone else fat but I find the word a neutral descriptor so I've no issue using it about myself. I'm fat, I'm freckled, I'm left-handed. All statements of fact, not of judgement.

Very different if it's used in a pejorative way - as _emorefrida pointed out, fat cow. It shouldn't imply a moral value but sadly it's often used that way.

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By *octor WhenMan
24 weeks ago

GLASGOW

People have fat, no one is fat. Well that my thinking.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
24 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"Does it make you uncomfortable to hear people describe themselves that way? Would you describe someone else that way?

Is it good that words are being reclaimed at times?"

Doesn't bother me in the least,I couldn't give a flying fuck.

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By *ld StrumpetWoman
24 weeks ago

Telford

I'm comfortable being called fat it's an accurate description of a not so small part of me. It doesn't define me as a whole person.

How people refer to my fat including the medical sector gives me an indication of where there feelings lay on the word.

I like me and my body very much I'm not about to let others opinions on bother me.

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By *ife NinjaMan
24 weeks ago

Dunfermline

I'm fat, chunky....whatever you want to call me. I've tried diets and they don't work. Like me or not, can't do a lot about it

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By *r John WickMan
24 weeks ago

The Continental

I’m indifferent.

I’m fat, I know I’m fat. I’m trying hard to not be fat.

If someone calls me fat, they’re telling the truth.

No point dressing it up to pretend I’m something I’m not.

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By *punk n gushCouple
24 weeks ago

Walmer, Deal

I'm fat and as others have said it's down to the individual how they feel about it dosent overly bother me what does wind me up is when u get skinny people who say there fat

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By *uri00620Woman
24 weeks ago

Croydon

"I'm fat and as others have said it's down to the individual how they feel about it dosent overly bother me what does wind me up is when u get skinny people who say there fat "

Sometimes fat is just fat, that's an appropriate descriptor. It's also appropriate terminology if say someone spent their life being a size 8 then progresses to size 14,they may well consider themselves fat. That's OK too. In this case fat is relative to the individual.

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By *irkby coupleCouple
24 weeks ago

Kirkby

I’m ok with the word fat.

I am fat, it’s a fact and I’m not going to get upset by someone telling me the truth.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
24 weeks ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

It's never a word I would use in a negative context, so I am cool with it, it's just a descriptive word

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
24 weeks ago

little house on the praire

It's just a descriptive word I really can't see why it would upset people. It's just the dame as slim or curvy

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By *tsJustKateWoman
24 weeks ago

London

I called the Council today and asked if I could have a skip outside my house. The guy said "Go for it fatty, you need the exercise"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"I called the Council today and asked if I could have a skip outside my house. The guy said "Go for it fatty, you need the exercise""

Sounds legit tbh

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By *a LunaWoman
24 weeks ago

South Wales

Well I could say I was alright with it, but if anyone outside my circle of trust called me it, I’d probably get a bit down in the mouth.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"Fat" short round word,almost spells Taff backwards ,a river in Whales ,also fat.

Also an anagram of aft,to the back where you're fat arse is

Ps I know it's Wales I'm not stew

Pid

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

No. I have a fat arse. Any issues are on you

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

The word fat, phat, thick, stocky, well built, chubby, chubbier, cuddly are all words I use to refer to myself. A fact of life for most as you get older shrug emoji lol

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By *eronikapaulCouple
24 weeks ago

Reading

It's not really ever the word is it? It is our personal overly quick ingrained assumptions about what is meant. A case in point being why is "phat" acceptable to some who spit feathers at the use of "fat"? They are only different if you have chosen in advance to make them different?

Your other language and body language also conditions the responses of others...except on the internet where it is invisible and unknown. So what would your response be if I exclaimed "look at that stupid fat bitch over there!" Hands up RIGHT NOW, straight away fuck you! if you would be angry.....

My friends would all be looking around trying to spot the Labrador.

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By *ggdrasil66Man
24 weeks ago

Saltdean

I’m fat, end of. Not uncomfortable about admitting the truth.

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman
24 weeks ago

Hereabouts

I recently had a discussion with my child and her friend about the word fat. Her friend said to me "I'm not saying this meanly, but you're fat", so I said something along the lines of "I have extra fat on my body, I have quite a lot of it and I am quite unhealthy. You have a very small amount of fat on your body. Everybody needs body fat, it helps keep us warm and it protects our bodies. If you have too much fat or not enough fat then you could be quite poorly. It's not kind to call people fat, in fact it's often best not to comment on people's bodies at all. But the word fat isn't a bad word, it's just how you say it" or something like that, and they both seemed to get it.

I think the problems come when people say things like "you're not fat, you're beautiful" like you can't be both at the same time. Or when it's used as an insult. However, I'm my friend's kid's favourite person to hug because I'm fat and squishy, which is true and not insulting because it wasn't said as an insult.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
24 weeks ago

North West

"I recently had a discussion with my child and her friend about the word fat. Her friend said to me "I'm not saying this meanly, but you're fat", so I said something along the lines of "I have extra fat on my body, I have quite a lot of it and I am quite unhealthy. You have a very small amount of fat on your body. Everybody needs body fat, it helps keep us warm and it protects our bodies. If you have too much fat or not enough fat then you could be quite poorly. It's not kind to call people fat, in fact it's often best not to comment on people's bodies at all. But the word fat isn't a bad word, it's just how you say it" or something like that, and they both seemed to get it.

Our daughter says I'm chubby but she means this in a kind way because she always associates it with being being squishy and cuddly. I acknowledge being chubby and agree that she is not chubby, she is slim. We've had a similar discussion about people having differing amounts of fat on their bodies.

I'm hesitant at this stage to link fatness with health because she gets anxious enough about my health (due to disability) without me mentioning being fat can be unhealthy. I'm currently unaffected by my fatness in the health perspective (not my subjective opinion, but the objective measurement of my BP, Hb2A1c, blood tests etc. Docs are not concerned with my size.

We've had and got enough things for her to worry about. I'll address that another time. She's not at any risk of becoming fat, anyway.

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
24 weeks ago

somewhere

I don't refer to others with the word but I do about myself, I call a spade a spade.

I know some are probably thinking "if she says it about herself why not others", good question! Although I can be quite blunt and don't always think about things before I say them, I do know the difference between calling myself fat and calling someone else fat, I can also say I'm really thick when it comes to maths but I wouldn't call someone else that because it's not nice.

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By *urry BlokeMan
24 weeks ago

Stalybridge

Totally cool with it

I think it's kinder than obese

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By *hunky GentMan
24 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

[Removed by poster at 11/06/24 21:09:21]

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By *hunky GentMan
24 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Totally cool with it

I think it's kinder than obese"

Indeed.

Obese makes it sounds as if we have some kind of disease

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
24 weeks ago

St Neots

"Totally cool with it

I think it's kinder than obese

Indeed.

Obese makes it sounds as if we have some kind of disease

I think we are actually supposed to say "people living with obesity" now too

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

I hate it but then I hate being it so I accept that I still am fat despite the fact that I’ve lost nearly four stone already. It reminds me of how far I still have to go and that I need to still keep my shit together

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By *hunky GentMan
24 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Totally cool with it

I think it's kinder than obese

Indeed.

Obese makes it sounds as if we have some kind of disease

I think we are actually supposed to say "people living with obesity" now too "

That doesn't sound any better to me.

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
24 weeks ago

St Neots

"Totally cool with it

I think it's kinder than obese

Indeed.

Obese makes it sounds as if we have some kind of disease

I think we are actually supposed to say "people living with obesity" now too

That doesn't sound any better to me.

Definitely worse lol

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
24 weeks ago

St Neots

"I hate it but then I hate being it so I accept that I still am fat despite the fact that I’ve lost nearly four stone already. It reminds me of how far I still have to go and that I need to still keep my shit together "

Nice work, well done!

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By *hunky GentMan
24 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Totally cool with it

I think it's kinder than obese

Indeed.

Obese makes it sounds as if we have some kind of disease

I think we are actually supposed to say "people living with obesity" now too

That doesn't sound any better to me.

Definitely worse lol "

Besides - fat is a power supply for a sex machine.

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
24 weeks ago

St Neots

"Totally cool with it

I think it's kinder than obese

Indeed.

Obese makes it sounds as if we have some kind of disease

I think we are actually supposed to say "people living with obesity" now too

That doesn't sound any better to me.

Definitely worse lol

Besides - fat is a power supply for a sex machine.

Fat guys are better in bed. Been studies and everything. People need to wake up!

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

It's a tough one. I've never used the word fat to describe someone and although I've used the term "a bit bigger", I can't help but feel that sounds condescending as fuck

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By *hunky GentMan
24 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Totally cool with it

I think it's kinder than obese

Indeed.

Obese makes it sounds as if we have some kind of disease

I think we are actually supposed to say "people living with obesity" now too

That doesn't sound any better to me.

Definitely worse lol

Besides - fat is a power supply for a sex machine.

Fat guys are better in bed. Been studies and everything. People need to wake up!

And give fantastic hugs.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
24 weeks ago

North West

"It's a tough one. I've never used the word fat to describe someone and although I've used the term "a bit bigger", I can't help but feel that sounds condescending as fuck

Is it often necessary to describe someone by their body size? I know I don't point people out by "the really slim guy/gal over there", any more than I'd say "the very fat guy/gal over there."

Find different features to highlight. It's rare for slimness or athleticism to be used as daily descriptors, but fatness is often used, unfortunately.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
24 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

The fat on my body is just there. I do my best to get rid of it which on my belly is incredibly hard during menopause because my hormones say no. Like the computer saying no

Would I ever describe anyone as fat or myself as fat? Not a fucking chance. I know from personal experience how hurtful that can be. They’re being themselves. Everyone in this life should just be them.

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
24 weeks ago

St Neots

"The fat on my body is just there. I do my best to get rid of it which on my belly is incredibly hard during menopause because my hormones say no. Like the computer saying no

(heart)

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By *mmaleiaWoman
24 weeks ago

East Northamptonshire

I describe myself as a fat girl, I embrace it

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
24 weeks ago

St Neots

"The fat on my body is just there. I do my best to get rid of it which on my belly is incredibly hard during menopause because my hormones say no. Like the computer saying no

(heart) "

Still don't remember the emoji thingys lol

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"It's a tough one. I've never used the word fat to describe someone and although I've used the term "a bit bigger", I can't help but feel that sounds condescending as fuck

Is it often necessary to describe someone by their body size? I know I don't point people out by "the really slim guy/gal over there", any more than I'd say "the very fat guy/gal over there."

Find different features to highlight. It's rare for slimness or athleticism to be used as daily descriptors, but fatness is often used, unfortunately."

This is going to sound so harsh but do you think maybe it happens because that's the thing that stands out most or stands out first when they are seen? I'm not saying it's right, but just trying to get behind the reasoning of why it happens. Personally if a guy had massive arms in a tight t shirt, I would say "that absolute tank over there" but that's just me

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
24 weeks ago

North West

"It's a tough one. I've never used the word fat to describe someone and although I've used the term "a bit bigger", I can't help but feel that sounds condescending as fuck

Is it often necessary to describe someone by their body size? I know I don't point people out by "the really slim guy/gal over there", any more than I'd say "the very fat guy/gal over there."

Find different features to highlight. It's rare for slimness or athleticism to be used as daily descriptors, but fatness is often used, unfortunately.

Dunno. I don't think I stand out especially (minus the wheelchair) but it doesn't stop people saying "the fat lass over there."

I tend to pick out things like clothing, with which to identify people when names aren't known. "The person in the bright red t-shirt", or "the person with a yellow coat on", or "the dude in socks and sandals".

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By *allipygousMan
24 weeks ago

Leicester

If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

"It's a tough one. I've never used the word fat to describe someone and although I've used the term "a bit bigger", I can't help but feel that sounds condescending as fuck

Is it often necessary to describe someone by their body size? I know I don't point people out by "the really slim guy/gal over there", any more than I'd say "the very fat guy/gal over there."

Find different features to highlight. It's rare for slimness or athleticism to be used as daily descriptors, but fatness is often used, unfortunately.

What if you had first seen them after knowing their personality? Or if you used something such as their clothing, height, hair colour to describe them?

I had a colleague once who was very large. In her role, it was often typical for her to chat with clients — internal and external —via phone before ever meeting them face to face. That’s also how I first met her: over a series of calls and then months later face to face. Her personality was vibrant, she had a contagious laugh, her happy positive energy was contagious to everyone around her.

I had an image of her in my head. Not sure what I really expected but when I first saw her face to face I was a bit shocked because in my mind her personality made me imagine her a way that was different than what she actually looked like physically. Over the years, I saw this same competing view on the faces of many when they, too, first met her.

Years later I was somewhere professionally where someone mentioned knowing her. They had never met her face to face. They described her in the most lovely way based solely on her phone personality. They had worked together via phone calls for more than two years. From that, I took away the ability to describe her without needing to mention she was a rotund woman. It was really bittersweet. So, whilst physical appearance may be the easiest seeing beyond the physical is possible.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
24 weeks ago

North West

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can."

Does that apply for all features?! Or just being fat?!

"The disabled person over there..."

Do something about it.

"The person with incredibly low BMI over there..."

Do something about it.

Etc.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
24 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can."

Errrrrrr. Nope. Say what you mean and mean it. Two faced isn’t a good look

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By *heGateKeeperMan
24 weeks ago

Stratford

Thiccums

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
24 weeks ago

St Neots

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can."

Still a bit of a cunt though for describing someone that way In the first place

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
24 weeks ago

North West

It's used in thoughtless and insulting ways.

Fat has been weaponised by the media, particularly towards women.

From a biology stand point, we all have fat, it serves many necessary purposes.

I'd like for people to think carefully how they label others. Fat is just one example of this.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
24 weeks ago

North West

"Thiccums

Diddums

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By *ittlebirdWoman
24 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"Thiccums

Is that like Thiccccccc

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By (user no longer on site) OP
24 weeks ago

"Thiccums

"
my man

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By *allipygousMan
24 weeks ago

Leicester

[Removed by poster at 11/06/24 22:11:40]

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By *allipygousMan
24 weeks ago

Leicester

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can.

Still a bit of a cunt though for describing someone that way In the first place "

Why? The intent isn't to be mean. It's a descriptor. Why should I think up an unnecessary euphemism?

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
24 weeks ago

St Neots

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can.

Still a bit of a cunt though for describing someone that way In the first place

Why? The intent isn't to be mean. It's a descriptor. Why should I think up an unnecessary euphemism? "

Personally just think there is much nicer descriptors to use

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By *allipygousMan
24 weeks ago

Leicester

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can.

Does that apply for all features?! Or just being fat?!

"The disabled person over there..."

Do something about it.

"The person with incredibly low BMI over there..."

Do something about it.

Etc."

Absolutely I'd point out someone's disability if it were obvious and if I were trying to describe them or point them out to another person.

I said "...try and do something about it, IF YOU CAN." I was taking about fat people and you seem to have ignored those last three words. How can someone do something about their disability or their BMI? Most people who are fat can do something about it. They just choose not to.

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By *-man24Man
24 weeks ago

northwest

Don’t think much about it until I look in the mirror lol

But seriously it’s not a nice word or very articulate either, but of love all

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By *allipygousMan
24 weeks ago

Leicester

[Removed by poster at 11/06/24 22:15:14]

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By *allipygousMan
24 weeks ago

Leicester

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can.

Still a bit of a cunt though for describing someone that way In the first place

Why? The intent isn't to be mean. It's a descriptor. Why should I think up an unnecessary euphemism?

Personally just think there is much nicer descriptors to use"

Fair enough. I'm just more straight to the point. Agree to disagree?

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
24 weeks ago

somewhere

"It's a tough one. I've never used the word fat to describe someone and although I've used the term "a bit bigger", I can't help but feel that sounds condescending as fuck

Is it often necessary to describe someone by their body size? I know I don't point people out by "the really slim guy/gal over there", any more than I'd say "the very fat guy/gal over there."

Find different features to highlight. It's rare for slimness or athleticism to be used as daily descriptors, but fatness is often used, unfortunately."

My step son took offence once when I used the word black to describe someone, we were talking about something where it was relevant and he said "you can't say that!" I said "of course you can, for example if you witnessed something bad happening and you was describing someone to the police for example and you said their hair was green, bald or the colour of their skin this automatically cuts down who they maybe looking for, as long as it's used in the right context, then you can describe that person how you see them and if it helps a bad (or good) situation" he understood what I meant.

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By *luehairedcumslutCouple
24 weeks ago

St Neots

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can.

Still a bit of a cunt though for describing someone that way In the first place

Why? The intent isn't to be mean. It's a descriptor. Why should I think up an unnecessary euphemism?

Personally just think there is much nicer descriptors to use

Fair enough. I'm just more straight to the point. Agree to disagree? "

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By *heGateKeeperMan
24 weeks ago

Stratford

"Thiccums

Diddums

Stop ruining my fun

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By *heGateKeeperMan
24 weeks ago

Stratford

"Thiccums

Is that like Thiccccccc

Now playing Bruno Mars - That’s What I Like

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By *heGateKeeperMan
24 weeks ago

Stratford

"Thiccums

my man"

Priti or nah?

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By *ittlebirdWoman
24 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can.

Still a bit of a cunt though for describing someone that way In the first place

Why? The intent isn't to be mean. It's a descriptor. Why should I think up an unnecessary euphemism?

Personally just think there is much nicer descriptors to use

Fair enough. I'm just more straight to the point. Agree to disagree? "

But you’re not straight to the point. You said you wouldn’t say it to their face. If you’re straight up as a person, blunt even just say it. Being two faced isn’t great. So be one thing or the other. Black or white. Fat or thin

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By *allipygousMan
24 weeks ago

Leicester

"It's a tough one. I've never used the word fat to describe someone and although I've used the term "a bit bigger", I can't help but feel that sounds condescending as fuck

Is it often necessary to describe someone by their body size? I know I don't point people out by "the really slim guy/gal over there", any more than I'd say "the very fat guy/gal over there."

Find different features to highlight. It's rare for slimness or athleticism to be used as daily descriptors, but fatness is often used, unfortunately.

Yes, it used to frustrate the hell out of me when a (white) colleague would point me out by describing my clothes and more often than not whoever they were describing me to would go to the wrong person as they never expected me to be manager. "Just say the short black fella over there!" I'd say. It's what I am!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
24 weeks ago

North West

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can.

Does that apply for all features?! Or just being fat?!

"The disabled person over there..."

Do something about it.

"The person with incredibly low BMI over there..."

Do something about it.

Etc.

Absolutely I'd point out someone's disability if it were obvious and if I were trying to describe them or point them out to another person.

How would you know someone's disability just by looking at them?!

How can someone do something about their BMI? I dunno. You just say fat people [high BMI] can choose to do something about it.

Why is fatness the major physical feature that people are very happy to point out and use as a descriptor when the exact opposite (incredibly low, unhealthy BMI) is rarely used that way?

(I'd personally not use someone's body size to point them out. Nor would I address someone's weight with them. I'm not their doctor).

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By *allipygousMan
24 weeks ago

Leicester

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can.

Still a bit of a cunt though for describing someone that way In the first place

Why? The intent isn't to be mean. It's a descriptor. Why should I think up an unnecessary euphemism?

Personally just think there is much nicer descriptors to use

Fair enough. I'm just more straight to the point. Agree to disagree?

Why would I need to call a fat person fat to their face when what we're talking about here is describing someone to someone else?

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By *ittlebirdWoman
24 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can.

Still a bit of a cunt though for describing someone that way In the first place

Why? The intent isn't to be mean. It's a descriptor. Why should I think up an unnecessary euphemism?

Personally just think there is much nicer descriptors to use

Fair enough. I'm just more straight to the point. Agree to disagree?

Why would I need to call a fat person fat to their face when what we're talking about here is describing someone to someone else? "

We’re not. That wasn’t the OP at all. That didn’t answer my question tbh but fair dos. You deflect away. It’s really up to you

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By *allipygousMan
24 weeks ago

Leicester

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can.

Does that apply for all features?! Or just being fat?!

"The disabled person over there..."

Do something about it.

"The person with incredibly low BMI over there..."

Do something about it.

Etc.

Absolutely I'd point out someone's disability if it were obvious and if I were trying to describe them or point them out to another person.

How would you know someone's disability just by looking at them?!

How can someone do something about their BMI? I dunno. You just say fat people [high BMI] can choose to do something about it.

Why is fatness the major physical feature that people are very happy to point out and use as a descriptor when the exact opposite (incredibly low, unhealthy BMI) is rarely used that way?

(I'd personally not use someone's body size to point them out. Nor would I address someone's weight with them. I'm not their doctor)."

Again you choose you ignore key words. I used the word "obvious" with regard to disability. If I saw you in your wheelchair then I think I could safely presume you were disabled. If someone had one leg or one arm I could presume the same.

I know some fat people can't do much about their weight, that's why I said "if you can" then do something about it.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
24 weeks ago

North West

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can.

Does that apply for all features?! Or just being fat?!

"The disabled person over there..."

Do something about it.

"The person with incredibly low BMI over there..."

Do something about it.

Etc.

Absolutely I'd point out someone's disability if it were obvious and if I were trying to describe them or point them out to another person.

How would you know someone's disability just by looking at them?!

How can someone do something about their BMI? I dunno. You just say fat people [high BMI] can choose to do something about it.

Why is fatness the major physical feature that people are very happy to point out and use as a descriptor when the exact opposite (incredibly low, unhealthy BMI) is rarely used that way?

(I'd personally not use someone's body size to point them out. Nor would I address someone's weight with them. I'm not their doctor).

I know some fat people can't do much about their weight, that's why I said "if you can" then do something about it. "

People see my personal trainer sitting in my wheelchair while I use the gym. Its baffles their brains and ask him "OMG what happened?!", even though they'd have seen him wandering around minutes earlier. It's amusing. It's also amusing because he qualifies for a Disabled Person's Railcard, yet I don't. He's 6ft 2, incredibly muscular, apparently fit, plays rugby. I'm a wheelchair user. Yet, it's not me who gets the free rail travel card. Actually, we're BOTH disabled. Just one of us has an unseen disability.

Anyhow.

To assume is probably unwise.

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
24 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

"If someone is fat then that's what I'm going to describe them as. Not to their face, I'm not THAT much of a cunt.

If you're feelings get hurt by people saying what you are then try and do something about it, if you can.

Does that apply for all features?! Or just being fat?!

"The disabled person over there..."

Do something about it.

"The person with incredibly low BMI over there..."

Do something about it.

Etc.

Absolutely I'd point out someone's disability if it were obvious and if I were trying to describe them or point them out to another person.

How would you know someone's disability just by looking at them?!

How can someone do something about their BMI? I dunno. You just say fat people [high BMI] can choose to do something about it.

Why is fatness the major physical feature that people are very happy to point out and use as a descriptor when the exact opposite (incredibly low, unhealthy BMI) is rarely used that way?

(I'd personally not use someone's body size to point them out. Nor would I address someone's weight with them. I'm not their doctor).

I know some fat people can't do much about their weight, that's why I said "if you can" then do something about it. "

Making friends again