FabSwingers.com forum: How do you get sex?

By (user no longer on site) OP
33 weeks ago

Let’s say for arguments sake, you’ve got the horn and fancy a bit of it!

What’s your next move to get some of the sexy sex?

I’ve tried the FAF messages and the

emojis, I need some new moves. Thanks in advance.

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

Phone a friend

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By (user no longer on site) OP
33 weeks ago

"Phone a friend"

Ask the audience?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
33 weeks ago

North West

Look lovingly at my husband.

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By *arren the doggerMan
33 weeks ago

willenhall

Tinder or dogging

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By (user no longer on site) OP
33 weeks ago

"Tinder or dogging "

Isn’t tinder supposed to be a dating site?

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By *dventuresofLandSCouple
33 weeks ago

Lincoln

Get naked simple as that.

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

"Phone a friend

Ask the audience? "

50/50

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
33 weeks ago

your head

Tell him I'm horny, usually works

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By *ear in the chairMan
33 weeks ago

yeah there

"Tell him I'm horny, usually works

It will

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

Serious answer.

I'd think about meeting one of the guys I talk to, realise they'd be utterly disappointed with the real me and stop talking to me, which I'd kinda miss. So I'd use my wand and get it out my system.

Then I'd go back to watching netflix.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
33 weeks ago

"Phone a friend

Ask the audience?

50/50"

That’s always my chances

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By *mbernectorCouple
33 weeks ago

Doncaster

Smile at him seems to do the trick with a little wink

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By *eordieJeansCouple
33 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Poke her in the back with my stiffy until she takes the hint:

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By *ictoria_1976TV/TS
33 weeks ago

Lanson

I update my status saying I'm looking for cock - generally have a meet & a backup meet arranged (in case first meet doesn't turn up) in 10 mins

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By (user no longer on site) OP
33 weeks ago

"Poke her in the back with my stiffy until she takes the hint:"

The classic…. Someone would need to be physically here for me to try that though.

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By *eordieJeansCouple
33 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"Poke her in the back with my stiffy until she takes the hint:

The classic…. Someone would need to be physically here for me to try that though. "

Yeah it wouldn’t really work in the pizza counter queue in Asda.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
33 weeks ago

"Poke her in the back with my stiffy until she takes the hint:

The classic…. Someone would need to be physically here for me to try that though.

Yeah it wouldn’t really work in the pizza counter queue in Asda."

I have my shopping delivered… that’ll be a shock when they are taking the boxes back to their van

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

It’s not easy but being attractive like me helps.

Confidence helps. Gotta rizz the gyalies up. Ygm?

And definitely you need to have a roster. It’s 2024 you cannot be having sex (outside of a monogamous relationship) and not have a roster. Every series person has one.

I don’t even usually help people out like that but I’m feeling generous today still

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By *ags73Man
33 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Use my words and talking when out at things sort of works (sometimes)

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By *tylebender03Man
33 weeks ago

Manchester

Local FWB or woman from work

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By *ondonMagicCouple
33 weeks ago

Durham

"Get naked simple as that."

Yup 100% this!

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By *nomeo_and_julietCouple
33 weeks ago

Near Glasgow

Stand outside the kwik-I-Mart naked and helicopter for all your worth

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
33 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

I use the force

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

"I use the force "

Oh no baby what is you doing

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
33 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

"I use the force

Oh no baby what is you doing"

I did say THE force. Not ..force.

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

I talk my hand into helping me out

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

"I use the force "

Please leave the police alone to do their job

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan
33 weeks ago

St Leonards

"I use the force

Oh no baby what is you doing

I did say THE force. Not ..force. "

Ahhhh...so it's your glowing, ahem, "lightsabre" that inspired your name?

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

Throw a dart at the dartsboard, specifically made for this purpose and fitted with names instead of numbers, to see who the lucky individual who gets the prestigious opportunity to spend a few hours with me.

Phone them up. They are always at my beck and call.

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By *parkle1974Woman
33 weeks ago

Leeds

I usually tell him

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By *hunky GentMan
33 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I usually say "hello" to my left hand.

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By *oxy jWoman
33 weeks ago

somerset

easy get my little black book out and call one of my 100s of swinging friends male female or couple i may put a meet sign up on here too maybe

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By *iss.BellaWoman
33 weeks ago

Chester

Prey to the gods. But, the answer is always no

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
33 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

"I use the force

Oh no baby what is you doing

I did say THE force. Not ..force.

Ahhhh...so it's your glowing, ahem, "lightsabre" that inspired your name?

The up bit

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan
33 weeks ago

St Leonards

"I use the force

Oh no baby what is you doing

I did say THE force. Not ..force.

Ahhhh...so it's your glowing, ahem, "lightsabre" that inspired your name?

The up bit "

So they never Glow down on you?

xxx

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By *hunky GentMan
33 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Prey to the gods. But, the answer is always no

You should ask one of us devil's instead.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
33 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

"I use the force

Oh no baby what is you doing

I did say THE force. Not ..force.

Ahhhh...so it's your glowing, ahem, "lightsabre" that inspired your name?

The up bit

So they never Glow down on you?

xxx"

Sounds ghey I’m in

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By *emonbuttercreamWoman
33 weeks ago

Birmingham

I have a partner so it's easy peasy lemon squeezey. I grab his cock and guide him into me.

If I didn't have a partner it would probably involve more planning, time and a few messages.

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By *icolasHidalgoDeCorazonMan
33 weeks ago

St Leonards

"I use the force

Oh no baby what is you doing

I did say THE force. Not ..force.

Ahhhh...so it's your glowing, ahem, "lightsabre" that inspired your name?

The up bit

So they never Glow down on you?

xxx

Sounds ghey I’m in "

Like you needed any persuading

xxx

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By *rHotNottsMan
33 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I’m really lazy and message friends, only use fab / tinder when I want a bit of an adventure and can be arsed to to get all excited

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By (user no longer on site) OP
33 weeks ago

"Throw a dart at the dartsboard, specifically made for this purpose and fitted with names instead of numbers, to see who the lucky individual who gets the prestigious opportunity to spend a few hours with me.

Phone them up. They are always at my beck and call.

Haha.

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By *unCycleGymRepeatMan
33 weeks ago

Greater London

It's not rocket science, is it?

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

I just hope me being horny aligns with a potentially agreed meet. Otherwise it's my trusty right hand that does the job

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By *itygamesMan
33 weeks ago

Av a Thomas

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

Sorry, no idea how to answer this question

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By *ittlebirdWoman
33 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

Realise I’m thinking with my little head instead of my big one….

Have a (ladywank)

Plan some of le sex for another time.

Chill.

Rinse. And repeat

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
33 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

"Realise I’m thinking with my little head instead of my big one….

Have a (ladywank)

Plan some of le sex for another time.

Chill.

Rinse. And repeat "

Ladywank. Is that one of those fancy biscuits I see in Asda? Asking for the gheys.

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By *ildo_swagginsthe3rdWoman
33 weeks ago

Wales

Open my window and yell at passers by.

I haven't tried this, but I imagine it could be successful

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By *ee69Man
33 weeks ago

glasgow

Get on to adult friend finder or messsge a bird from before , see what’s happening

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By *ee69Man
33 weeks ago

glasgow

"Open my window and yell at passers by.

I haven't tried this, but I imagine it could be successful "

Pmsl

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By *ilth N KinkCouple
33 weeks ago

Gloucester

Smile at the Mr, he’s knows my horn smile

Kink (mrs)

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By *viatrixWoman
33 weeks ago

Redhill

I put a meet up. Then I am inundated by messages.

The ones who tick the boxes physically behave like Neanderthals.

The ones who are nice, polite etc I am not atracted to at all.

So I put the phone down, get the glass dildo and my fingers and have a good old ladywank.

Rinse and repeat. *sigh*

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

Pop into my Time Machine, head back to 1995 and do my thing.

Been all downhill since then!

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By *ittlebirdWoman
33 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"Realise I’m thinking with my little head instead of my big one….

Have a (ladywank)

Plan some of le sex for another time.

Chill.

Rinse. And repeat

Ladywank. Is that one of those fancy biscuits I see in Asda? Asking for the gheys."

Yep. They’re next to the bourbon creams

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
33 weeks ago

Essex

"Realise I’m thinking with my little head instead of my big one….

Have a (ladywank)

Plan some of le sex for another time.

Chill.

Rinse. And repeat

Ladywank. Is that one of those fancy biscuits I see in Asda? Asking for the gheys.

Yep. They’re next to the bourbon creams

Oh. Poor marketing… I’d put them next to the sponge fingers ..

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By *.R.MMan
33 weeks ago

Norfolk

I don’t, sad times

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By *ittlebirdWoman
33 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"Realise I’m thinking with my little head instead of my big one….

Have a (ladywank)

Plan some of le sex for another time.

Chill.

Rinse. And repeat

Ladywank. Is that one of those fancy biscuits I see in Asda? Asking for the gheys.

Yep. They’re next to the bourbon creams

Oh. Poor marketing… I’d put them next to the sponge fingers .."

Ooofttt. Great placement. I’ll suggest it

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By *ee69Man
33 weeks ago

glasgow

"I put a meet up. Then I am inundated by messages.

The ones who tick the boxes physically behave like Neanderthals.

The ones who are nice, polite etc I am not atracted to at all.

Shame your beautiful mrs

So I put the phone down, get the glass dildo and my fingers and have a good old ladywank.

Rinse and repeat. *sigh*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
33 weeks ago

Thanks for the tips guys …

*hollars from my window !! ‘Faf!?’

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By *inger_SnapWoman
33 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"Serious answer.

I'd think about meeting one of the guys I talk to, realise they'd be utterly disappointed with the real me and stop talking to me, which I'd kinda miss. So I'd use my wand and get it out my system.

Then I'd go back to watching netflix.

Ha ha similar.... I'd entertain the idea of being spontaneous and meeting someone off here but would then worry too much about it or CBA to actually get ready. Have a wank and go to bed

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By *inger_SnapWoman
33 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"I put a meet up. Then I am inundated by messages.

The ones who tick the boxes physically behave like Neanderthals.

The ones who are nice, polite etc I am not atracted to at all.

So I put the phone down, get the glass dildo and my fingers and have a good old ladywank.

Rinse and repeat. *sigh*

Yup

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By *oingMan
33 weeks ago

co. antrim

100 dick pics sent to everyone before retreating for a wank

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

"Phone a friend

Ask the audience?

50/50"

“You said it's no better than chance

May as well not bother

Go and have another dance”

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By *haringisCaring1208Couple
33 weeks ago

Lurgan

I usually kiss the wife on her neck/upper back and it goes from there

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By *ags73Man
33 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Realise I’m thinking with my little head instead of my big one….

Have a (ladywank)

Plan some of le sex for another time.

Chill.

Rinse. And repeat

Ladywank. Is that one of those fancy biscuits I see in Asda? Asking for the gheys.

Yep. They’re next to the bourbon creams

Oh. Poor marketing… I’d put them next to the sponge fingers .."

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
33 weeks ago

The Continental

Little black book with dial-a-fanny hotline numbers.

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By *ags73Man
33 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Little black book with dial-a-fanny hotline numbers. "

Dial-a-fanny.

Meh. I don’t got that

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By *ot to giggleWoman
33 weeks ago

Coventry

"I use the force

Oh no baby what is you doing

I did say THE force. Not ..force. "

does it work? can I borrow it?

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By *hunky GentMan
33 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I use the force

Oh no baby what is you doing

I did say THE force. Not ..force.

does it work? can I borrow it?"

You can borrow my lightsaber.

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By *ad NannaWoman
33 weeks ago

East London

I tell one of the many men begging keep for sex that I'm available

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By *ot to giggleWoman
33 weeks ago

Coventry

"I use the force

Oh no baby what is you doing

I did say THE force. Not ..force.

does it work? can I borrow it?

You can borrow my lightsaber.

oooh do i get to press all the buttons !!

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By *hortarseWoman
33 weeks ago

Norfolk

Tell my fwb I'm up for it. He be round in minutes or I'll ask someone nicely on here

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By *hunky GentMan
33 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I use the force

Oh no baby what is you doing

I did say THE force. Not ..force.

does it work? can I borrow it?

You can borrow my lightsaber.

oooh do i get to press all the buttons !!

Yes, but pressing the right button makes it very long.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
33 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

"I use the force

Oh no baby what is you doing

I did say THE force. Not ..force.

does it work? can I borrow it?"

Do you promise to make the zhubbb zhubbb noises? Gotta make the noises.

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By *hunky GentMan
33 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Tell my fwb I'm up for it. He be round in minutes or I'll ask someone nicely on here

Tbh - you'll probably just have to say "you'll do".

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By *.R.MMan
33 weeks ago

Norfolk

"I tell one of the many men begging keep for sex that I'm available

Oh to be a woman

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By *he love catsCouple
33 weeks ago

South Wales

Easily.

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By *nnCeeWoman
33 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

"Let’s say for arguments sake, you’ve got the horn and fancy a bit of it!

What’s your next move to get some of the sexy sex?

I’ve tried the FAF messages and the

emojis, I need some new moves. Thanks in advance. "

What is this "get the horn" of which you speak?!

Damned meds...

Erm. If I'm very very lucky the FWB actually wants some benefits, otherwise, I've a box full of toys.

I'd quite like to enjoy someone new, but the last time I did that, it did not go well

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By *nnCeeWoman
33 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

And I meant to say: I have no moves

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By *ularliWoman
33 weeks ago

Worcester

"Serious answer.

I'd think about meeting one of the guys I talk to, realise they'd be utterly disappointed with the real me and stop talking to me, which I'd kinda miss. So I'd use my wand and get it out my system.

Then I'd go back to watching netflix.

This is what I do as well but that may have to change as I think I need a new wand

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By *hortarseWoman
33 weeks ago

Norfolk

"Tell my fwb I'm up for it. He be round in minutes or I'll ask someone nicely on here

Tbh - you'll probably just have to say "you'll do".

How did you know

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By *hunky GentMan
33 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Tell my fwb I'm up for it. He be round in minutes or I'll ask someone nicely on here

Tbh - you'll probably just have to say "you'll do".

How did you know

I have an extremely good imagination

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

Usually call one of the fuck boys or fwb

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By *reggSausageMan
33 weeks ago

derby

"Serious answer.

I'd think about meeting one of the guys I talk to, realise they'd be utterly disappointed with the real me and stop talking to me, which I'd kinda miss. So I'd use my wand and get it out my system.

Then I'd go back to watching netflix.

Oooooh what are you watching …..I watched the twelfth man last night, not as good as sex and brutal to watch but worth seeing, anyhoos back to the script, yes no sex no clue what to do about changing that either other than morph into Henry Cavill

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By *uenevereWoman
33 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

Take hubby to bed

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By *cLovin2Man
33 weeks ago

Reading

"Serious answer.

I'd think about meeting one of the guys I talk to, realise they'd be utterly disappointed with the real me and stop talking to me, which I'd kinda miss. So I'd use my wand and get it out my system.

Then I'd go back to watching netflix.

That's a lot of thought processing, before you reach for the wand, here's me thinking you reach for it without any other thoughts. Silly me.

Someone pull the plug from her wand...

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By *cLovin2Man
33 weeks ago

Reading

"Poke her in the back with my stiffy until she takes the hint:

The classic…. Someone would need to be physically here for me to try that though. "

Woody I can't believe that I have to tell you this on fab, where dick pics are the currency, it's like smokes in prison or so I hear.

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

Not as much as I’d like

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

"Serious answer.

I'd think about meeting one of the guys I talk to, realise they'd be utterly disappointed with the real me and stop talking to me, which I'd kinda miss. So I'd use my wand and get it out my system.

Then I'd go back to watching netflix.

That's a lot of thought processing, before you reach for the wand, here's me thinking you reach for it without any other thoughts. Silly me.

Someone pull the plug from her wand..."

I lost it once and nearly met someone. Luckily they cancelled on me.

Close call.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
33 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Waggle my arse in the window. Works a treat.

Mrs TMN x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
33 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

Just put my fingers together and whistle

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By *hunky GentMan
33 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Waggle my arse in the window. Works a treat.

Mrs TMN x"

Oh.... to be your neighbour

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By *cLovin2Man
33 weeks ago

Reading

Phone them up. They are always at my beck and call.

Please add me to your dartboard, first time I am actually wanting to be speared by a dart.

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By *cLovin2Man
33 weeks ago

Reading

"I have a partner so it's easy peasy lemon squeezey. I grab his cock and guide him into me.

If I didn't have a partner it would probably involve more planning, time and a few messages.

The first bit of that sounds like a date I went on once.

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By *entleman of FortuneMan
33 weeks ago

Hull

"Prey to the gods. But, the answer is always no

I hear you - but only help good girls x

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By *cLovin2Man
33 weeks ago

Reading

"Serious answer.

I'd think about meeting one of the guys I talk to, realise they'd be utterly disappointed with the real me and stop talking to me, which I'd kinda miss. So I'd use my wand and get it out my system.

Then I'd go back to watching netflix.

That's a lot of thought processing, before you reach for the wand, here's me thinking you reach for it without any other thoughts. Silly me.

Someone pull the plug from her wand...

I lost it once and nearly met someone. Luckily they cancelled on me.

Close call. "

Someone cut the power to her house, she might actually come out of it at some point and talk to a person with a penis.

Before getting bored and heading home with a book.

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By *aturechapMan
33 weeks ago

leeds

Go on a dating site much far less talking about it tbh more dreamers and fake profiles on here.

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By *ad NannaWoman
33 weeks ago

East London

"I tell one of the many men begging keep for sex that I'm available

Oh to be a woman "

Oh, to be a younger woman (with good knees).

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By *eliWoman
33 weeks ago

I'm not sure Woody. It just kind of happens. I'll be thinking about it and then a few hours later I'm not.

Almost like magic.

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By *ansoffateMan
33 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

This is the part of the whole demi thing I am quite grateful for, I don't get that sensation of needing sex with someone, when there isn't a someone.

When there is a someone a

is usually enough. We spend time together, sex happens.

I guess I can't really help you on that one, if it was me I would try to have some fuck buddies or something, similar? Make a booty call. Hey it's been ages fancy a shag? Send a comical meme first or a dick pic, combine the two with an editing app? I don't know really it's all the same to me.

I'd just have a wank most probably, then play video games or get back to chatting with a friend about how all men are dickheads or that they've got the feelies. Sometimes both on the same day.

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By *ags73Man
33 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"This is the part of the whole demi thing I am quite grateful for, I don't get that sensation of needing sex with someone, when there isn't a someone.

When there is a someone a

is usually enough. We spend time together, sex happens.

I'd just have a wank most probably, then play video games or get back to chatting with a friend about how all men are dickheads or that they've got the feelies. Sometimes both on the same day. "

Someone to booty call would be amazing

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
33 weeks ago

Maidstone

I wish I knew

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
33 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

"This is the part of the whole demi thing I am quite grateful for, I don't get that sensation of needing sex with someone, when there isn't a someone.

When there is a someone a

is usually enough. We spend time together, sex happens.

I'd just have a wank most probably, then play video games or get back to chatting with a friend about how all men are dickheads or that they've got the feelies. Sometimes both on the same day. "

May I ask, does that mean you never go about your day just being horny?

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By *hunky GentMan
33 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I wish I knew"

Come sit on my lap and we'll chat about it

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
33 weeks ago

Maidstone

"Go on a dating site much far less talking about it tbh more dreamers and fake profiles on here. "

Dating sites are even more hard work. I never swipe right as they all look like Dicks!

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
33 weeks ago

Maidstone

"I wish I knew

Come sit on my lap and we'll chat about it

Will there be wine?

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
33 weeks ago

somewhere

Usually it's the early morning and I wiggle my bum on his cock lol

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
33 weeks ago

North West

"Go on a dating site much far less talking about it tbh more dreamers and fake profiles on here.

Dating sites are even more hard work. I never swipe right as they all look like Dicks!"

Is that because the profile pics are dicks?!

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By *LiamMan
33 weeks ago

Midlands

I've never been on a dating site

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By *hunky GentMan
33 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I wish I knew

Come sit on my lap and we'll chat about it

Will there be wine?"

Wiuld you like Red or white?

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

Phone them up. They are always at my beck and call.

Please add me to your dartboard, first time I am actually wanting to be speared by a dart."

Which spot would you like? Bull? Double ring? Triple ring?? Inner bullseyes? Outer bullseye? Single?

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By *hunky GentMan
33 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Phone them up. They are always at my beck and call.

Please add me to your dartboard, first time I am actually wanting to be speared by a dart.

Which spot would you like? Bull? Double ring? Triple ring?? Inner bullseyes? Outer bullseye? Single? "

I didn't realise you are so kinky.

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By *ags73Man
33 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"I've never been on a dating site

Unwanted advice. Try and stay that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

Phone them up. They are always at my beck and call.

Please add me to your dartboard, first time I am actually wanting to be speared by a dart.

Which spot would you like? Bull? Double ring? Triple ring?? Inner bullseyes? Outer bullseye? Single?

I didn't realise you are so kinky.

Oh, I’m so vanilla I sweat and smell sweet like bourbon.*

*A joke no one will inevitably understand.

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By *mf123Man
33 weeks ago

with one foot out the door

I no longer randomly get horny i need to be inspired by someone so its quite easy to not have it

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By *ags73Man
33 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Phone them up. They are always at my beck and call.

Please add me to your dartboard, first time I am actually wanting to be speared by a dart.

Which spot would you like? Bull? Double ring? Triple ring?? Inner bullseyes? Outer bullseye? Single?

I didn't realise you are so kinky.

Oh, I’m so vanilla I sweat and smell sweet like bourbon.*

*A joke no one will inevitably understand. "

Thinking Tennessee Whisky by Chris Stapleton.. but that’s not a lyric

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By *cLovin2Man
33 weeks ago

Reading

Phone them up. They are always at my beck and call.

Please add me to your dartboard, first time I am actually wanting to be speared by a dart.

Which spot would you like? Bull? Double ring? Triple ring?? Inner bullseyes? Outer bullseye? Single? "

All the above

I come from a neighborhood where we believe getting ahead starts with using our initiative.

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By *LiamMan
33 weeks ago

Midlands

"I've never been on a dating site

Unwanted advice. Try and stay that way. "
that bad?

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By *ags73Man
33 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"I've never been on a dating site

Unwanted advice. Try and stay that way. that bad?"

Fucking brutal. Did it before fab. Wouldn’t want to do it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

Phone them up. They are always at my beck and call.

Please add me to your dartboard, first time I am actually wanting to be speared by a dart.

Which spot would you like? Bull? Double ring? Triple ring?? Inner bullseyes? Outer bullseye? Single?

I didn't realise you are so kinky.

Oh, I’m so vanilla I sweat and smell sweet like bourbon.*

*A joke no one will inevitably understand.

Thinking Tennessee Whisky by Chris Stapleton.. but that’s not a lyric "

A baking joke.

Bourbon vanilla has nothing to do with Bourbon whiskey. It’s another name for the Madagascar vanilla bean itself. In the 1800s, the French developed large plantations on Reunion, known at the time as the Ile de Bourbon, hence the name Bourbon.

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By *ags73Man
33 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Phone them up. They are always at my beck and call.

Please add me to your dartboard, first time I am actually wanting to be speared by a dart.

Which spot would you like? Bull? Double ring? Triple ring?? Inner bullseyes? Outer bullseye? Single?

I didn't realise you are so kinky.

Oh, I’m so vanilla I sweat and smell sweet like bourbon.*

*A joke no one will inevitably understand.

Thinking Tennessee Whisky by Chris Stapleton.. but that’s not a lyric

A baking joke.

Thank you. I’ve at least learned something tonight.

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By *LiamMan
33 weeks ago

Midlands

"I've never been on a dating site

Unwanted advice. Try and stay that way. that bad?

Fucking brutal. Did it before fab. Wouldn’t want to do it again."
I'll stay alone

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By *ags73Man
33 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"I've never been on a dating site

Unwanted advice. Try and stay that way. that bad?

Fucking brutal. Did it before fab. Wouldn’t want to do it again. I'll stay alone

If you can manage without them, try but that’s just my experience I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

A baking joke.

Thank you. I’ve at least learned something tonight."

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By *ansoffateMan
33 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

"This is the part of the whole demi thing I am quite grateful for, I don't get that sensation of needing sex with someone, when there isn't a someone.

When there is a someone a

is usually enough. We spend time together, sex happens.

I'd just have a wank most probably, then play video games or get back to chatting with a friend about how all men are dickheads or that they've got the feelies. Sometimes both on the same day.

May I ask, does that mean you never go about your day just being horny? "

In the absence of an ongoing sexual relationship, honestly no. If there is then yes. I appreciate that probably sounds weird, but that's how it is for me.

I miss the feeling if it's not there, but it's more the connection and the physical expression of that.

If I try to relate it to just being horny without a connection my mind goes all the way back to being a teenager, but then I had a crush on my Physics teacher so probably not even then.

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By *afkaMan
32 weeks ago

Nottingham (ish)

"Serious answer.

I'd think about meeting one of the guys I talk to, realise they'd be utterly disappointed with the real me and stop talking to me, which I'd kinda miss. So I'd use my wand and get it out my system.

Then I'd go back to watching netflix.

But what if you're wrong?

What if they didn't find the real you utterly disappointing? Maybe you could just enjoy yourselves?

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

Say something cheeky to Nuts

usually works a treat

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By *ustincider888Man
32 weeks ago

Preston Ish

I'm just trying the FAF style status.

I think this is 100% going to gain some sexual interaction.

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By *un guy300Man
32 weeks ago

Carmarthen

If your a female, just say on here, you will get loads of replies

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

"If your a female, just say on here, you will get loads of replies "

From guys you're not interested in.

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

"Serious answer.

I'd think about meeting one of the guys I talk to, realise they'd be utterly disappointed with the real me and stop talking to me, which I'd kinda miss. So I'd use my wand and get it out my system.

Then I'd go back to watching netflix.

But what if you're wrong?

What if they didn't find the real you utterly disappointing? Maybe you could just enjoy yourselves?

Sounds a bit risky.

Wand and netflix are safer.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
32 weeks ago

Leeds

( looks at mrs ) where would you like to cum? Tongue or cock ?

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

Ask Jeremy?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

"If your a female, just say on here, you will get loads of replies "

This doesn’t help me, I’m no female.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
32 weeks ago

Southampton

I don't bother

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By *cLovin2Man
32 weeks ago

Reading

"Serious answer.

I'd think about meeting one of the guys I talk to, realise they'd be utterly disappointed with the real me and stop talking to me, which I'd kinda miss. So I'd use my wand and get it out my system.

Then I'd go back to watching netflix.

But what if you're wrong?

What if they didn't find the real you utterly disappointing? Maybe you could just enjoy yourselves?

Sounds a bit risky.

Wand and netflix are safer."

Coyote, you are ruining Netflix and chill for the rest of us you know.

Creating wand & Netflix, soon there'll be no need for the male gender anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

"Serious answer.

I'd think about meeting one of the guys I talk to, realise they'd be utterly disappointed with the real me and stop talking to me, which I'd kinda miss. So I'd use my wand and get it out my system.

Then I'd go back to watching netflix.

But what if you're wrong?

What if they didn't find the real you utterly disappointing? Maybe you could just enjoy yourselves?

Sounds a bit risky.

Wand and netflix are safer.

Coyote, you are ruining Netflix and chill for the rest of us you know.

Creating wand & Netflix, soon there'll be no need for the male gender anymore."

This is the dream

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By *ornucopiaMan
32 weeks ago

Bexley

"Little black book with dial-a-fanny hotline numbers.

Dial-a-fanny.

Meh. I don’t got that "

What's not to get?

Apart from sex if you don't have a little black book.

In my address book they are nearly all black but not always little!

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By *cLovin2Man
32 weeks ago

Reading

"Serious answer.

I'd think about meeting one of the guys I talk to, realise they'd be utterly disappointed with the real me and stop talking to me, which I'd kinda miss. So I'd use my wand and get it out my system.

Then I'd go back to watching netflix.

But what if you're wrong?

What if they didn't find the real you utterly disappointing? Maybe you could just enjoy yourselves?

Sounds a bit risky.

Wand and netflix are safer.

Coyote, you are ruining Netflix and chill for the rest of us you know.

Creating wand & Netflix, soon there'll be no need for the male gender anymore.

This is the dream"

Without us who's going to fix your wand when it wears out from overuse?

Who's going to deliver that pizza with extra sausage in the pornos?

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By *ornucopiaMan
32 weeks ago

Bexley

"I've never been on a dating site

Unwanted advice. Try and stay that way. that bad?

Fucking brutal. Did it before fab. Wouldn’t want to do it again."

Suely the whole point of dating sites is to find sex?

Who,apart from masochists, is looking for a relationship?

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
32 weeks ago

southampton

The answer is in hand.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
32 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"The answer is in hand. "

Who’s hand?

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By *tleystagMan
32 weeks ago

ilkley

"The answer is in hand.

Who’s hand?"

Yours if you want

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By *eroLondonMan
32 weeks ago

Mayfair

"The answer is in hand.

Who’s hand?

Yours if you want"

•

She's got miniature hands.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

"Serious answer.

…..

Creating wand & Netflix, soon there'll be no need for the male gender anymore."

A creating wand!… I need to know more.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
32 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"The answer is in hand.

Who’s hand?

Yours if you want

•

She's got miniature hands."

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By *ickshawedCouple
32 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

I just wake up, and there it is. Like magic

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By *ake_or_deathMan
32 weeks ago

Manchester

"The answer is in hand.

Who’s hand?

Yours if you want

•

She's got miniature hands.

That would be a bonus for me as for the first time I could imagine I had a big cock

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By *eroLondonMan
32 weeks ago

Mayfair

"I just wake up, and there it is. Like magic "

•

She's married to a prestidigitator... ^

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By *umalotagainMan
32 weeks ago

a town called malice

Definitely not as easy as it was before Covid. Must have been something in those vaccines that stopped people being as interested as they once were

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By *ittlebirdWoman
32 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"Definitely not as easy as it was before Covid. Must have been something in those vaccines that stopped people being as interested as they once were

This is definitely the wrong forum for that talk

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

Grab my favourite blow up doll and away we go best bit is I only need a takeaway for one after!!

She doesn’t talk much or eat much winner

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By *a LunaWoman
32 weeks ago

South Wales

I stand in the back garden and whistle. Then a pigeon flies down and collects my “sex SOS” note and flies off.

Within an hour I have a horde of men servicing me over my Hydrangeas. I then have to be wheeled back to the house in a wheelbarrow because my legs are post orgasm shaking so much.

It’s a right bloody faff.

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By *a LunaWoman
32 weeks ago

South Wales

"Grab my favourite blow up doll and away we go best bit is I only need a takeaway for one after!!

She doesn’t talk much or eat much winner

And if she gets a puncture she turns into a balloon, so you get sex AND entertainment.

Joyous!

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By *umalotagainMan
32 weeks ago

a town called malice

"Definitely not as easy as it was before Covid. Must have been something in those vaccines that stopped people being as interested as they once were

This is definitely the wrong forum for that talk

Maybe I should have just said it was Easter 6 years ago

I guess being over 50 takes you off a number of peoples preferred ages

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By *ittlebirdWoman
32 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"Definitely not as easy as it was before Covid. Must have been something in those vaccines that stopped people being as interested as they once were

This is definitely the wrong forum for that talk

Maybe I should have just said it was Easter 6 years ago

I guess being over 50 takes you off a number of peoples preferred ages

And adds you to others

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By *hesubtlegentMan
32 weeks ago

surrey

I have a couple of fab friends I can call on

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

"Grab my favourite blow up doll and away we go best bit is I only need a takeaway for one after!!

She doesn’t talk much or eat much winner

And if she gets a puncture she turns into a balloon, so you get sex AND entertainment.

Joyous!"

You might be onto something and it’s the blow up doll version of getting dumped!!

I am all about the power play

Thanks Luna

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

"Grab my favourite blow up doll and away we go best bit is I only need a takeaway for one after!!

She doesn’t talk much or eat much winner

And if she gets a puncture she turns into a balloon, so you get sex AND entertainment.

Joyous!

You might be onto something and it’s the blow up doll version of getting dumped!!

I am all about the power play

Thanks Luna

CAn I borrow your doll?

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By *relandboy1Man
32 weeks ago

Dublin

[Removed by poster at 09/06/24 09:32:16]

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By *relandboy1Man
32 weeks ago

Dublin

"Phone a friend"

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

"Grab my favourite blow up doll and away we go best bit is I only need a takeaway for one after!!

She doesn’t talk much or eat much winner

And if she gets a puncture she turns into a balloon, so you get sex AND entertainment.

Joyous!

You might be onto something and it’s the blow up doll version of getting dumped!!

I am all about the power play

Thanks Luna

CAn I borrow your doll? "

Which one?

I have a Lady for every mood, what is your pleasure Sir?

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

I get hit on at work fairly often by some of our members…….They are generally a good 35 years older than me though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

"Grab my favourite blow up doll and away we go best bit is I only need a takeaway for one after!!

She doesn’t talk much or eat much winner

And if she gets a puncture she turns into a balloon, so you get sex AND entertainment.

Joyous!

You might be onto something and it’s the blow up doll version of getting dumped!!

I am all about the power play

Thanks Luna

CAn I borrow your doll?

Which one?

I have a Lady for every mood, what is your pleasure Sir?"

A brunette… nice boobs

and can you guarantee she won’t struggle or move much?

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By *p4funCouple
32 weeks ago

Plymouth

Get dressed up

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
32 weeks ago

Sherwood Forest

Send a little text or picture to him ...then listen for the footsteps as he's legging it through the house to come and beast me

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

"Grab my favourite blow up doll and away we go best bit is I only need a takeaway for one after!!

She doesn’t talk much or eat much winner

And if she gets a puncture she turns into a balloon, so you get sex AND entertainment.

Joyous!

You might be onto something and it’s the blow up doll version of getting dumped!!

I am all about the power play

Thanks Luna

CAn I borrow your doll?

Which one?

I have a Lady for every mood, what is your pleasure Sir?

A brunette… nice boobs

and can you guarantee she won’t struggle or move much? "

Ahhh I have just the Lady for you Dormant Dora.

A bit of a looker but a lie back and do nothing kinda girl.

I will have her washed and sent to you post haste, I only ask the same when you two are done

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
32 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Send a "bat my eyelashes" emoji to one of the guys that have propositioned me recently.

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

Spend 5 hours on fab messaging people without them opening the message then have a wank and go to bed

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By *llie AssMan
32 weeks ago

South Yorkshire

"Spend 5 hours on fab messaging people without them opening the message then have a wank and go to bed

Ditto.

And then, very occasionally, I am taken to heaven by great sex.

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By *cLovin2Man
32 weeks ago

Reading

"Grab my favourite blow up doll and away we go best bit is I only need a takeaway for one after!!

She doesn’t talk much or eat much winner

And if she gets a puncture she turns into a balloon, so you get sex AND entertainment.

Joyous!

You might be onto something and it’s the blow up doll version of getting dumped!!

I am all about the power play

Thanks Luna

CAn I borrow your doll? "

Yeah you might wanna wipe it down first, knowing this lot, summat tells he's not the first to 'deposit' on it.

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By *rHotNottsMan
32 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I just discovered another way. Scroll right down to the bottom of WhatsApp and you will find people that you started chatting to and then it just fizzled, just lost interest and completely forgot about them.

Sometimes they are still up for a bit of sex.

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By *ansoffateMan
32 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

"I just discovered another way. Scroll right down to the bottom of WhatsApp and you will find people that you started chatting to and then it just fizzled, just lost interest and completely forgot about them.

Sometimes they are still up for a bit of sex.

Nothing wrong with submarining. It can be a pleasant surprise.

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By *ill2207Man
32 weeks ago

bewdley

I doubt very much they eould be dissapointed x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

Sometimes they are still up for a bit of sex.

No….. I don’t think they want a message from me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

Thanks for the tips everyone.

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