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"Receive Wink Send message - hi, how are you? Receive reply- do you know how ridiculous that question sounds Some days I just give up" (Brings out popcorn) OK ladies... over to you to explain how internet dating/swinging works.  | |||
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"Dartford cross(ing)" Not cross, just disappointed lol at least it was more effort than plain winking and I didn't just ignore or delete the wink | |||
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"Dartford cross(ing)" This interaction would make me want to play in traffic in the … nvm | |||
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"Think you need to enjoy the interaction in itself. Put effort in and not just be consumed with shagging " I always respond/reply to winks, messages etc, I'm not here to be an ass, just for some fun, I'm respectful and pleasant to everyone, in general, but I'm not breaking out the Oscar Wilde repartee for a wink from a four line profile! | |||
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"Asking someone how they are is a perfectly pleasant greeting/opener imo. Not a rediculous question at all. As long as its then followed up by something interesting/appealing. " It's almost like it's something you'd use irl but hey, ho | |||
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"Asking someone how they are is a perfectly pleasant greeting/opener imo. Not a rediculous question at all. As long as its then followed up by something interesting/appealing. It's almost like it's something you'd use irl but hey, ho" As I’ve already explained above, many women receive dozens of “how are you’s” daily. It gets tiresome. | |||
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feisty op!!
message ..... whoops another one!  | |||
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"N.b. “No reply is a reply” is better than just belittling a stranger for the sin of troubling you with their presence. Not everybody has risen the ranks of this tiny speck of the internet. " True. Some people are just dicks | |||
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"Receive Wink Send message - hi, how are you? Receive reply- do you know how ridiculous that question sounds Some days I just give up If I responded to a wink... I rarely do. I would just ask them how they are... why are you messaging? Do you like the look of their profile? In other words, arw you actually interested in them? If not, why are you messaging them?" Would NOT just reply how are you ... | |||
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"Receive Wink Send message - hi, how are you? Receive reply- do you know how ridiculous that question sounds Some days I just give up" OP... please don't take this the wrong way but your profile is banal. While men enjoy visual porn women like decent conversation. Your profile reads like a toaster manual. Ease up on the banalities and don't send one-liners. Some users get hundreds even thousands of those a day. If you want instant sex, be a man, go hire a pro and book a hotel. As the saying goes... "there's no such thing as a free lunch". Even us fat, bored old housewives have standards. I've stopped conversations for less but every once in awhile when I get a "hi, wink, how are you" I'll respond with a totally random response like "What's your income average?" "How big is your house?" Or my favourite "What's your favourite brand of champagne." Because frankly, if you're the deep-fried spice bag type I don't want to know ya. And yes, I'm a food snob. | |||
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" Let her enjoy her little moment of power and move on. Although I would say skip the formalities and add more depth to your opening messages. " I didn't read it as a moment of power, I read it as exasperation. For a moment let's disregard the emotional and mental toll being on here takes, let's simply look at number of minutes it takes out of the day - replying to all the "hi how ru?" Messages would, on some days, take hours. What's the limit, especially when we know what sort of reply we are most likely to get after that, as shown by several women in this thread so far? 10 mins replying to those per day? 20? An hour? It's dead time, it never goes anywhere fruitful, and sometimes I, and this lady too by the look of it, get frustrated by the situation and express it via a perhaps somewhat unfriendly message. | |||
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"Asking someone how they are is a perfectly pleasant greeting/opener imo. Not a rediculous question at all. As long as its then followed up by something interesting/appealing. It's almost like it's something you'd use irl but hey, ho As I’ve already explained above, many women receive dozens of “how are you’s” daily. It gets tiresome. " It was a response to a wink, not an initial message AND you rather seem to have assumed it involved a woman | |||
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" Let her enjoy her little moment of power and move on. Although I would say skip the formalities and add more depth to your opening messages. I didn't read it as a moment of power, I read it as exasperation. For a moment let's disregard the emotional and mental toll being on here takes, let's simply look at number of minutes it takes out of the day - replying to all the "hi how ru?" Messages would, on some days, take hours. What's the limit, especially when we know what sort of reply we are most likely to get after that, as shown by several women in this thread so far? 10 mins replying to those per day? 20? An hour? It's dead time, it never goes anywhere fruitful, and sometimes I, and this lady too by the look of it, get frustrated by the situation and express it via a perhaps somewhat unfriendly message. " Exasperation yes, I agree but the disdainful tone…power trip. Someone has spent too long being told they’re the best and hasn’t been able to rein in the ego. The simple solution is don’t reply; it can anger you to the Nth degree that so many different people draw the same conclusions, that Simone without the benefit of your experience hasn’t drawn the same conclusions as you. You’ve a good point but lamenting the time it takes to reply to dull messages then taking the time to send a spiteful, pointless reply of your own is pretty hypocritical as well isn’t it? I’ve seen reams of profiles that have lengthy and elaborate provisos and hurdles for contacting them, a lot of which come across as so jaded and toxic that even if I was going to message them I would think “you possibly need a break from this”. Thankfully I’ve met plenty who manage to convey the same message without sounding aloof or arrogant, they’re the ones that really stand out. It’s easy being unpleasant and sarcastic and just as dull and off putting. It’s worse than low effort; this is effort that has been spent to demean someone in advance. Do better. Nobody is worth more or less than you. | |||
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" Do better. Nobody is worth more or less than you. "  | |||
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"Asking someone how they are is a perfectly pleasant greeting/opener imo. Not a rediculous question at all. As long as its then followed up by something interesting/appealing. It's almost like it's something you'd use irl but hey, ho As I’ve already explained above, many women receive dozens of “how are you’s” daily. It gets tiresome. It was a response to a wink, not an initial message AND you rather seem to have assumed it involved a woman " Well in the absence of information as to whom winked you. I’d say I have no choice but assume. Aside from that, the answer would be the same. But hey, if you don’t like what you read feel free to ignore me, carry on sending your ‘how are you’. No dramas | |||
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"I don't send winks, but I hate "how are you" messages. If you receive a shit load, it's not like they standout individually & they're usually sent by someone who's not even read my profile. Also anytime I responded to those it's usually followed by "wanna meet now/later" so all very low effort & then they get abusive if I have plans or work..." Its them kind of people on here who are genuinely messing it up for the genuine guys | |||
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"Asking someone how they are is a perfectly pleasant greeting/opener imo. Not a rediculous question at all. As long as its then followed up by something interesting/appealing. It's almost like it's something you'd use irl but hey, ho As I’ve already explained above, many women receive dozens of “how are you’s” daily. It gets tiresome. It was a response to a wink, not an initial message AND you rather seem to have assumed it involved a woman Well in the absence of information as to whom winked you. I’d say I have no choice but assume. Aside from that, the answer would be the same. But hey, if you don’t like what you read feel free to ignore me, carry on sending your ‘how are you’. No dramas "got popcorn over here - wanna join and watch this unravel | |||
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"I don't send winks, but I hate "how are you" messages. If you receive a shit load, it's not like they standout individually & they're usually sent by someone who's not even read my profile. Also anytime I responded to those it's usually followed by "wanna meet now/later" so all very low effort & then they get abusive if I have plans or work... Its them kind of people on here who are genuinely messing it up for the genuine guys" I disagree, they make it easier for the good ones to stand out from the crowd. I’ve never felt ‘messed up’ as a result of other guys actions here. And I’ve been here quite some time in one guise or another. | |||
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"Receive Wink Send message - hi, how are you? Receive reply- do you know how ridiculous that question sounds Some days I just give up" I get your frustration OP, they sent a wink, which is dead easy to do and requires no typing. You respond to their wink with a typed message, albeit a basic one but still more effort required on your behalf than just winking back and they get the hump. These interactions are all part of the filtering process therefore, whilst frustrating, they are a positive thing as they helps us to avoid those that we really wouldn't get along with. | |||
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"Asking someone how they are is a perfectly pleasant greeting/opener imo. Not a rediculous question at all. As long as its then followed up by something interesting/appealing. It's almost like it's something you'd use irl but hey, ho As I’ve already explained above, many women receive dozens of “how are you’s” daily. It gets tiresome. It was a response to a wink, not an initial message AND you rather seem to have assumed it involved a woman " you winked a guy well no harm in that but the guy wasn't best pleased you wanked him? | |||
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" Exasperation yes, I agree but the disdainful tone…power trip. Someone has spent too long being told they’re the best and hasn’t been able to rein in the ego. You’ve a good point but lamenting the time it takes to reply to dull messages then taking the time to send a spiteful, pointless reply of your own is pretty hypocritical as well isn’t it? It’s easy being unpleasant and sarcastic and just as dull and off putting. It’s worse than low effort; this is effort that has been spent to demean someone in advance. Do better. Nobody is worth more or less than you. " Again, I don't think that response was particularly nasty, demeaning etc - but that's the perils of text only communication isn't it, it's very open to interpretation in terms of tone. Our contexts, and experiences both in life and on here, influence how we each interpret that message. Also - I never send outright mean messages, and nor would I bother sending a reply like the one we are discussing, but I do respond to messages with an attempt to engage and try to educate *sometimes* (especially if someone is being particularly misogynistic, racist, or doesn't seem to know what consent is) - and most of the times that's perceived as me being impolite. Can't really win.  | |||
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"You can't reason with stupidity, OP. ALL women here are stupid, don't worry about it. "  | |||
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"Asking someone how they are is a perfectly pleasant greeting/opener imo. Not a rediculous question at all. As long as its then followed up by something interesting/appealing. It's almost like it's something you'd use irl but hey, ho As I’ve already explained above, many women receive dozens of “how are you’s” daily. It gets tiresome. It was a response to a wink, not an initial message AND you rather seem to have assumed it involved a woman you winked a guy well no harm in that but the guy wasn't best pleased you wanked him? "winked him omg  | |||
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"Asking someone how they are is a perfectly pleasant greeting/opener imo. Not a rediculous question at all. As long as its then followed up by something interesting/appealing. It's almost like it's something you'd use irl but hey, ho As I’ve already explained above, many women receive dozens of “how are you’s” daily. It gets tiresome. It was a response to a wink, not an initial message AND you rather seem to have assumed it involved a woman you winked a guy well no harm in that but the guy wasn't best pleased you wanked him? winked him omg "Best typo of the day!!! | |||
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"Asking someone how they are is a perfectly pleasant greeting/opener imo. Not a rediculous question at all. As long as its then followed up by something interesting/appealing. It's almost like it's something you'd use irl but hey, ho As I’ve already explained above, many women receive dozens of “how are you’s” daily. It gets tiresome. It was a response to a wink, not an initial message AND you rather seem to have assumed it involved a woman you winked a guy well no harm in that but the guy wasn't best pleased you wanked him? winked him omg
Best typo of the day!!! "I haven’t got going yet | |||
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" Exasperation yes, I agree but the disdainful tone…power trip. Someone has spent too long being told they’re the best and hasn’t been able to rein in the ego. You’ve a good point but lamenting the time it takes to reply to dull messages then taking the time to send a spiteful, pointless reply of your own is pretty hypocritical as well isn’t it? It’s easy being unpleasant and sarcastic and just as dull and off putting. It’s worse than low effort; this is effort that has been spent to demean someone in advance. Do better. Nobody is worth more or less than you. Again, I don't think that response was particularly nasty, demeaning etc - but that's the perils of text only communication isn't it, it's very open to interpretation in terms of tone. Our contexts, and experiences both in life and on here, influence how we each interpret that message. Also - I never send outright mean messages, and nor would I bother sending a reply like the one we are discussing, but I do respond to messages with an attempt to engage and try to educate *sometimes* (especially if someone is being particularly misogynistic, racist, or doesn't seem to know what consent is) - and most of the times that's perceived as me being impolite. Can't really win. "Exactly this my tone should always be read in a happy jokey way those that don't read it that way don't get me. | |||
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" Again, I don't think that response was particularly nasty, demeaning etc - but that's the perils of text only communication isn't it, it's very open to interpretation in terms of tone. " I hope you didn’t think my entire reply was aimed solely at you, apologies that wasnt my intention. Of course, you're right about the tone being lost a lot via text but let’s be real here for a moment…do you think that reply was a segue towards educating this individual? As if the anticipated outcome would be “No, I actually didn’t!” and then a scene from Good Will Hunting where OP learns about being true to himself and learning to overcome trauma. Exaggerating for comic effect, yes perhaps both OP and I are projecting but on balance the sender was likely just being a bellend. | |||
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" Again, I don't think that response was particularly nasty, demeaning etc - but that's the perils of text only communication isn't it, it's very open to interpretation in terms of tone. I hope you didn’t think my entire reply was aimed solely at you, apologies that wasnt my intention. Of course, you're right about the tone being lost a lot via text but let’s be real here for a moment…do you think that reply was a segue towards educating this individual? As if the anticipated outcome would be “No, I actually didn’t!” and then a scene from Good Will Hunting where OP learns about being true to himself and learning to overcome trauma. Exaggerating for comic effect, yes perhaps both OP and I are projecting but on balance the sender was likely just being a bellend. " Ha, no i don't think the sender was attempting to educate ,I was saying that that's what I personally (very occasionally) do. Turns out sender was a bloke anyway | |||
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"You forget that on here women want originality, wit devastatingly handsome tall six packed men with a great income. If you ain't twins you are basically done for. "This is so untrue!!! I’m not remotely bothered by six packs | |||
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" Turns out sender was a bloke anyway "Oh bless your sweet, naive heart….most men online are women pretending to be men so they can masturbate more effectively. | |||
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"Asking someone how they are is a perfectly pleasant greeting/opener imo. Not a rediculous question at all. As long as its then followed up by something interesting/appealing. It's almost like it's something you'd use irl but hey, ho" If a total stranger came up to me irl and asked how are you I would assume they were a salesperson or a weirdo. If a friend asked me ‘how are you’ , I’d reconsider our friendship. Save it for the person on reception in your office if you can think of nothing else more interesting to say each morning. It’s an awful line and anyone sending it deserves to be blocked | |||
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"so what would you suggest as an opener, especially for those profiles that don't really specify much?" “Accidentally” continue a conversation you were having with someone else: “Yeh true, plus I had to call it quits in the end; you can only explain a lacerated prostate to your GP so many times before it gets embarassing” Then say “whoops, sorry that wasn’t meant for you” and proceed. N.b. I have never done this and accept no responsibility for the outcome if you do. | |||
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"Receive Wink Send message - hi, how are you? Receive reply- do you know how ridiculous that question sounds Some days I just give up" Don’t give up. | |||
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" If a total stranger came up to me irl and asked how are you I would assume they were a salesperson or a weirdo. If a friend asked me ‘how are you’ , I’d reconsider our friendship. Save it for the person on reception in your office if you can think of nothing else more interesting to say each morning. It’s an awful line and anyone sending it deserves to be blocked " I agree; all instances of typical customs from strangers make me so angry I’m immediately sick. Similarly, if any of my friends greet me with anything but unique insight and charm then I slap them clean across the face. | |||
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"Receive Wink Send message - hi, how are you? Receive reply- do you know how ridiculous that question sounds Some days I just give up Don’t give up. "Don't get me wrong I've had some great interactions on here, with positive and negative outcomes and I find the bulk of people on here to be friendly, but the dickheads really are Olympic level at times. Just having a little Friday vent, people seem to spend so much time online they forget how to interact on a human level, considering what we are here for involves some serious personal interactions, we'd all try to be a bit better | |||
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"Receive Wink Send message - hi, how are you? Receive reply- do you know how ridiculous that question sounds " Send dick pic then block. That’ll show her. | |||
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"Receive Wink Send message - hi, how are you? Receive reply- do you know how ridiculous that question sounds Send dick pic then block. That’ll show her. " Fuckin dead you legend | |||
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"You forget that on here women want originality, wit devastatingly handsome tall six packed men with a great income. If you ain't twins you are basically done for.
This is so untrue!!!
I’m not remotely bothered by six packs "Children out tongue in cheek but with son basis in reality | |||
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"You forget that on here women want originality, wit devastatingly handsome tall six packed men with a great income. If you ain't twins you are basically done for.
This is so untrue!!!
I’m not remotely bothered by six packs
Children out tongue in cheek but with son basis in reality"Are you speaking in tongues? | |||
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"You forget that on here women want originality, wit devastatingly handsome tall six packed men with a great income. If you ain't twins you are basically done for. "Do they? Thanks for telling us | |||
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"You forget that on here women want originality, wit devastatingly handsome tall six packed men with a great income. If you ain't twins you are basically done for. "I can assure you, everything you've listed doesn't work either... That's why I'm only here for the political threads | |||
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"I recently had a message saying "I want to crack an egg in your arse and fuck you so hard it scrambles", so that's not exactly typical. Memorable. And gross. And slightly worrying because how much friction does there need to be to create enough heat to cook an egg in my arsehole?! "I’ll give credit for originality at least
But that’s some serious arse pounding to cook eggs.
When you meeting him | |||
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"Ok everyone, we need a generic, surefire message opening to be able to get the laydeeez on Fabs to open their legs to us. There must be a killer generic statement out there that works. Wimminz, spill the beans plz. " "Hi im dom im a 47 yr old professional and workin in ur area. Ur sexy. Id love to met you tonite and fuck ur ass let me no if ur interested" | |||
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"Receive Wink Send message - hi, how are you? Receive reply- do you know how ridiculous that question sounds Some days I just give up" Oh dear you have much to learn. Imagine how the most entitled Unicorn would send a message and be the male version. You inbox will be filled with replies!! You’re welcome | |||
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"Ok everyone, we need a generic, surefire message opening to be able to get the laydeeez on Fabs to open their legs to us. There must be a killer generic statement out there that works. Wimminz, spill the beans plz. "Hi im dom im a 47 yr old professional and workin in ur area. Ur sexy. Id love to met you tonite and fuck ur ass let me no if ur interested"" Guaranteed | |||
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"Some people are here years without interacting "got a straight decade going strong | |||
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"You dodged a bullet Imagine how much hard work they'd be in person "I've tried, but my brain throttled itself | |||
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"You wouldn't believe the amount of offensive one-liners I get... and I'm not that particularly attractive, popular or even remotely connected. Those messages usually come in the wee hours after someone has had a few drinksies or something and they look at my pics but ignore my very comprehensive profile. I get tired of repeating myself so yeah... unless you're Michael Fassbender or Tom Hiddleston or you have the wit and wonder of Stephen Fry, I'm either going to ignore.... or go ballistic. I'm Spanish. I don't deal in stupid metaphors. I say exactly what I mean and when I get a mean ass comment and I'm in a bad mood I'll vent right back. I very rarely block because sometimes it's entertaining to see them backtrack or reply with something even ruder. But I grew up in at atmosphere where if you didn't argue at dinner you weren't working hard enough. And I'm smarter than half the iPhone toting baboons because I've been on the net since 1987. " I think you need to touch grass and stop taking yourself so seriously | |||
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"You wouldn't believe the amount of offensive one-liners I get... and I'm not that particularly attractive, popular or even remotely connected. Those messages usually come in the wee hours after someone has had a few drinksies or something and they look at my pics but ignore my very comprehensive profile. I get tired of repeating myself so yeah... unless you're Michael Fassbender or Tom Hiddleston or you have the wit and wonder of Stephen Fry, I'm either going to ignore.... or go ballistic. I'm Spanish. I don't deal in stupid metaphors. I say exactly what I mean and when I get a mean ass comment and I'm in a bad mood I'll vent right back. I very rarely block because sometimes it's entertaining to see them backtrack or reply with something even ruder. But I grew up in at atmosphere where if you didn't argue at dinner you weren't working hard enough. And I'm smarter than half the iPhone toting baboons because I've been on the net since 1987. I think you need to touch grass and stop taking yourself so seriously " Pot. Kettle. Black.  | |||
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"You wouldn't believe the amount of offensive one-liners I get... and I'm not that particularly attractive, popular or even remotely connected. Those messages usually come in the wee hours after someone has had a few drinksies or something and they look at my pics but ignore my very comprehensive profile. I get tired of repeating myself so yeah... unless you're Michael Fassbender or Tom Hiddleston or you have the wit and wonder of Stephen Fry, I'm either going to ignore.... or go ballistic. I'm Spanish. I don't deal in stupid metaphors. I say exactly what I mean and when I get a mean ass comment and I'm in a bad mood I'll vent right back. I very rarely block because sometimes it's entertaining to see them backtrack or reply with something even ruder. But I grew up in at atmosphere where if you didn't argue at dinner you weren't working hard enough. And I'm smarter than half the iPhone toting baboons because I've been on the net since 1987. I think you need to touch grass and stop taking yourself so seriously " Well firstly, in fairness, I wanted to personally apologise to you because I assumed the person you were complaining about was a woman. This is naturally a high-risk environment for us. So my mistake. As for your comment about taking myself seriously, I think that's a matter or objective. I'm a huge Nirvana fan and I've worked in the indie music scene since the late 80s. But I'm not "easy-going" or "mellow" because some users have misinterpreted those qualifiers as "slut with no standards" and as a straight-ish woman I've been on the receiving end over the past 8 years on this site to some pretty horrible and even dangerous experiences. I take my mind, my mental and physical health and safety seriously and I have noticed a direct downturn in the quality of social media dating interactions - not just on here but other sites and apps since 2015. And I still think your profile needs work. Sorry. It's the journalist/PR person in me but your life, your decisions. As is the same with mine. Better safe than sorry. Best of luck | |||
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"Me receives: wink. Me replies: extensive message thanking sender for wink, complimenting on their photos, expressing that I hope they are well and enjoying their interactions with others on fab. Me receives (at 3 am): Hi. Me replies: extensive message expressing sympathy that they also apparently have insomnia, mentioning something relevant to their profile, hoping they might manage to get some sleep, suggesting that it might be nice to keep in touch and at some point maybe chat face to face. Me receives either: tumble... Or: come give me bj now! (they're 150 miles away)" So very this | |||
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"I don’t get any winks and on the odd occasion I do get a reply it’s to say they are not interested in me " You look like youre really flexible. Kudos | |||
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"I don’t get any winks and on the odd occasion I do get a reply it’s to say they are not interested in me You look like youre really flexible. Kudos "I got a cramp just seeing that.. bravo | |||
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"You wouldn't believe the amount of offensive one-liners I get... and I'm not that particularly attractive, popular or even remotely connected. Those messages usually come in the wee hours after someone has had a few drinksies or something and they look at my pics but ignore my very comprehensive profile. I get tired of repeating myself so yeah... unless you're Michael Fassbender or Tom Hiddleston or you have the wit and wonder of Stephen Fry, I'm either going to ignore.... or go ballistic. I'm Spanish. I don't deal in stupid metaphors. I say exactly what I mean and when I get a mean ass comment and I'm in a bad mood I'll vent right back. I very rarely block because sometimes it's entertaining to see them backtrack or reply with something even ruder. But I grew up in at atmosphere where if you didn't argue at dinner you weren't working hard enough. And I'm smarter than half the iPhone toting baboons because I've been on the net since 1987. I think you need to touch grass and stop taking yourself so seriously Well firstly, in fairness, I wanted to personally apologise to you because I assumed the person you were complaining about was a woman. This is naturally a high-risk environment for us. So my mistake. As for your comment about taking myself seriously, I think that's a matter or objective. I'm a huge Nirvana fan and I've worked in the indie music scene since the late 80s. But I'm not "easy-going" or "mellow" because some users have misinterpreted those qualifiers as "slut with no standards" and as a straight-ish woman I've been on the receiving end over the past 8 years on this site to some pretty horrible and even dangerous experiences. I take my mind, my mental and physical health and safety seriously and I have noticed a direct downturn in the quality of social media dating interactions - not just on here but other sites and apps since 2015. And I still think your profile needs work. Sorry. It's the journalist/PR person in me but your life, your decisions. As is the same with mine. Better safe than sorry. Best of luck" Fair comments,have a great day | |||
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