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"Morning Nicky. It's been a slow start this morning so I decided to pop Maltesers up my bump and see if I can fart them into my mouth" 
Ahhhh...and has it been successful yet Willy?
I'll be honest - I don't try this with Smarties. Their saucer shape doesn't give an airtight "pop" the way Maltesers do. | |||
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"Morning Nicky. It's been a slow start this morning so I decided to pop Maltesers up my bump and see if I can fart them into my mouth
Ahhhh...and has it been successful yet Willy?
I'll be honest - I don't try this with Smarties. Their saucer shape doesn't give an airtight "pop" the way Maltesers do."No success this time. I used to be able to do it as a teenager but I'm just not flexible enough anymore  | |||
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"Morning Nicky. It's been a slow start this morning so I decided to pop Maltesers up my bump and see if I can fart them into my mouth
Ahhhh...and has it been successful yet Willy?
I'll be honest - I don't try this with Smarties. Their saucer shape doesn't give an airtight "pop" the way Maltesers do.
No success this time.
I used to be able to do it as a teenager but I'm just not flexible enough anymore "I'm sorry to hear that Willy. Ageing brings many challenges. However, yoga can often take us back to earlier states of being. Is the bum-pop-Malteser-gob ambition served best with the addition of yoga as a further ambition? You can hit that target!  | |||
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"Amateurs! Keep practising until you can equal my liquorice torpedo claim to fame. I shoot from the front ..... smoother ejection and elevated trajectory " Have you tried it with a sherbert fountain (though I imagine the liquorice 'straw' might get clogged!). OP should move on to M&Ms, then sugared almonds and after that gobstoppers (they will be changing colour as he uses them more).  | |||
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Who knew a Monday morning could bring all this out of us...even for FAB...it's quite something on a Monday morning xxxxx | |||
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"I approve of these messages. Nicky, I'm glad to see you've worked your way up from Skittles. Next stop, Minstrels and then you'll find yourself coping with Flying Saucers in no time." I'd love to see how far Granny could launch a flying saucer from her foof | |||
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"I approve of these messages. Nicky, I'm glad to see you've worked your way up from Skittles. Next stop, Minstrels and then you'll find yourself coping with Flying Saucers in no time. I'd love to see how far Granny could launch a flying saucer from her foof" To Infinity, and beyond?  | |||
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"I approve of these messages. Nicky, I'm glad to see you've worked your way up from Skittles. Next stop, Minstrels and then you'll find yourself coping with Flying Saucers in no time. I'd love to see how far Granny could launch a flying saucer from her foof" I would love to try and catch them in my mouth, this should be part of the Olympic games, someone write to someone and make it happen please. | |||
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"Raw popcorn and a hot bath. Anything else is just messing about. " You've done this before, haven't you? | |||
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"Well I’m gonna have to go with minstrels aren’t I? " Is your willy detachable, and then you use it like a bum-plunger to build up anal launch pressure John? I think your bum-Minstrels might be a match for Granny's foof-Saucers ya know (but best we all duck for Glow's superheated popcorn fireworks...that sounds dangerous  ) | |||
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"Well I’m gonna have to go with minstrels aren’t I? Is your willy detachable, and then you use it like a bum-plunger to build up anal launch pressure John? I think your bum-Minstrels might be a match for Granny's foof-Saucers ya know (but best we all duck for Glow's superheated popcorn fireworks...that sounds dangerous )"It’s only popcorn until someone takes a photo. Then it’s popporn. Probably. | |||
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K | |||
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I also think Granny should try out "FoofGranny" as a username for a bit xx | |||
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