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"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why? Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops? Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex? Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here? Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites? Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years? And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know "I do actually agree with you xx I’m not really sure why males take this position tbh x What’s your view?? | |||
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"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why? Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops? Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex? Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here? Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites? Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years? And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know
I do actually agree with you xx
I’m not really sure why males take this position tbh x
What’s your view??"I have my own opinion, but as I'm not male... What's your thoughts? | |||
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"I also think if men actually read profiles, it would save themselves a lot of wasted time. As a woman on here, I don’t have the ‘upper hand’ as most guys think, I’m also not ‘stuck up’ because I don’t fancy you, I can’t just shag anybody with a penis, if there’s no connection or chemistry, the sex would be dull as hell " Very well said | |||
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"Brilliant post OP kudos! "Meant to say, great thread OP x | |||
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"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why? Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops? Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex? Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here? Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites? Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years? And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know "All very valid questions and certainly something I'd like to know, however feel like I already know the answer. | |||
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"I think it’s probably a security/confidence issue. Personally it never bothers me if I get a polite no or no response to a message x I think it’s an ego thing. Rejection is hard for some to take. Hence the reaction of negativity x " Ratio plays a part too. Women are bombarded on here and regardless of what their profile outlines or how clear their intentions,wants or seeks are our females profiles are still continously contacted unwelcomed. I am definitely not alone when i say responding to every message received would be a full time task, fabs only allows a certain amount of messages daily so those that are communicating seriously wouldn't want to use them replying to politely decline. And too often a polite no thanks often results in abusive insulting messages from those that have been politely rebuffed. No response is a response in my eyes | |||
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"I think it’s probably a security/confidence issue. Personally it never bothers me if I get a polite no or no response to a message x I think it’s an ego thing. Rejection is hard for some to take. Hence the reaction of negativity x Ratio plays a part too. Women are bombarded on here and regardless of what their profile outlines or how clear their intentions,wants or seeks are our females profiles are still continously contacted unwelcomed. I am definitely not alone when i say responding to every message received would be a full time task, fabs only allows a certain amount of messages daily so those that are communicating seriously wouldn't want to use them replying to politely decline. And too often a polite no thanks often results in abusive insulting messages from those that have been politely rebuffed. No response is a response in my eyes " A very valid point x It all comes down to the individual x some people just don’t observe boundaries and arnt as respectful as they should be x | |||
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"I also think if men actually read profiles, it would save themselves a lot of wasted time. As a woman on here, I don’t have the ‘upper hand’ as most guys think, I’m also not ‘stuck up’ because I don’t fancy you, I can’t just shag anybody with a penis, if there’s no connection or chemistry, the sex would be dull as hell " This exactly xx | |||
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"Women do have it easier on here…" I think it depends what you mean by easier. If it’s number of replies to messages, I absolutely agree. However if you ask a load of men about their worst date, you’ll get answers like she wasn’t like her pictures, she had a weird laugh, she was a crap shag… Ask a group of women about their worst date and you’ll hear about being followed home, stalked for weeks, sexual assault and so on. I don’t think that’s what they signed up for, so saying women have it easier isn’t the whole story. | |||
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"Women do have it easier on here… I think it depends what you mean by easier. If it’s number of replies to messages, I absolutely agree. However if you ask a load of men about their worst date, you’ll get answers like she wasn’t like her pictures, she had a weird laugh, she was a crap shag… Ask a group of women about their worst date and you’ll hear about being followed home, stalked for weeks, sexual assault and so on. I don’t think that’s what they signed up for, so saying women have it easier isn’t the whole story." If I experienced that shit on here I wouldn't be here. You can't deny women have the upper hand on fab. A.woman whacks a picture up and they'll be inundated with messages. I'd hazard a guess that most have never had to message a guy first, I'm not.saying some don't, but they don't have to. We can pick and choose, obviously. Yeah you get rubbish from guys time to time but I've said it before it's easy enough for a woman to control her filters and influence what she gets by what she puts out on her profile. On fab, in terms of messages, and being able to choose who we want to meet. Women have it easier. | |||
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"Coyote is right - the average woman certainly has it easier on here than the average man. That said it is possible to do well on here as a guy - as far as I can tell the secret is…….. just be normal." I think that this is very well said, and accurate IMHO. I think what I struggle with is that there are a lot of women and couples on here who act and communicate in such a way as to indicate that they’re better, über desirable, when in the real world you wouldn’t give them a second glance. You know the profiles I’m talking about, don’t respond if this or that, anyone doing this or that will be instantly blocked, don’t contact us, we’ll contact you. It’s all just so rude and unnecessary. | |||
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"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why? Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops? Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex? Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here? Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites? Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years? And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know "Self entitlement springs to mind,there's a lot who think they have the right to treat women how they seem fit without thinking about their feelings...We're all on here for the same kinda things but no right to act in the way some do. I liken it to a kid in a candy store,they think they can grab all they want but when mommy starts dragging them out they kick and scream and roll around having a tantrum.....Just for the record I grew up a long time ago,well I think I did  | |||
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"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why? Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops? Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex? Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here? Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites? Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years? And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know "I never get upset and women do rule here exactly for the reasons you said, you can pick and choose who you interact with, the rules favour you to, so no answer for whatever reason means not interested, so even if you've got too many messages to answer and their are some decent guys messaging you but you couldn't read or reply, you simply block delete all messages and start again. You can even pull well above your normal choice all because of the numbers. If you say jump we jump especially if you're sexy as hell. That said as long as us guys know that fab is fine, never ask for advice, never say is this big enough and never post asking for a meet and you'll be fine if you're patient. | |||
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"Power is a dynamic that is only really in the minds of men Men ultimately want to ejaculate Thats why they think women hold the power because they want to do it with a woman and she will only let them if there is something in it for her This why so many are happy to talk about and fantasise about in half of the threads here" This is a very simplistic view and rather plays into the whole culture regarding men not being able to control themselves, which we all know is false. As for women holding power, until very recently they didn’t, they either obeyed or were forced. One could argue that this continues to this day and it’s only our civility that prevents men from abusing women. Again there’s definitely a correlation between wealth, civility and how women are seen and then there’s culture. | |||
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"I think as females, it's hard on fab too but for different reasons. Yes, I get a lot of messages but I don't read most of them before deleting them because they're either one lines or from people without a single picture or it's clear they haven't read my profile. Another problem I find is the lack of honesty. Most men think they have to go over the top with compliments, so much that it becomes off-putting. " Great post, I think there’s only so much chat you can do about 69 and 3sum etc before it becomes almost a routine conversation and all a little bid tedious. Sometimes just some back-and-forth messaging about the humdrum of life can be quite refreshing and different and engaging. I’ve had a couple of conversations going on lately like this and I’ve been very interesting and we have good understandings between us. It’s different than if we were just focusing on horny banter. I encourage other guys to try this approach and see what happens. I think the new inbox does help to find old conversations and get them going again sometimes when they have Fizzled out. Why not Take a look in your inbox and try to restart an old conversation without the horny Barnter? However, this may only work for the guys rather than the girls? | |||
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"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why? Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops? Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex? Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here? Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites? Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years? And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know "Great post OP. For me it’s all about the ego. If you have an ego on a site like this, you’re probably gonna end up getting hurt and hurting other people. If a guy can suppress his ego except pay for the way they are, it’s a better attitude to have in the swinging community Make it more enjoyable for everyone. It’s hard to do, but not impossible | |||
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"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?!" You do, by default, because men who lament about their lack of success aren't helping their cause. "...it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why?" It's called "sour grapes". They simply cannot comprehend that ladies have a choice from the biggest menu known to man. It's a smörgåsbord. "Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex?" The verification is indeed important to a man, which gives him credence and earnestness. It's not a conduit to obtain unbridled sex. "Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here?" It's because they're not getting much success on here. "Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years?" Because men live on eternal hope and the spectre of futility. "And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?..." This is news to me. xx | |||
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"I also think if men actually read profiles, it would save themselves a lot of wasted time. " · I agree. Unfortunately it still makes no difference. It's a numbers game. Bob's message to Sue will still be message no. 145 in her inbox of 500+ messages. Messages are thrown around here like yesterday's confetti. | |||
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"I see quite a few posts bitching that women have the upper hand on Fab? I don't think we actually do?! I just think due to the numbers game (that we all know), it's ladies day in regards to choice/selection. And it's really weird some men then seem to get upset about this? I'd be very interested to know why? Why are you upset that you're not top of the selection pops? Why do you seem to view getting a veri on Fab as the gateway to loads of sex? Why do you get upset if you're not having any 'success' on here? Why are you still on here if you can supposedly do wildly better on dating sites? Why are you still on the site churning out the same with zero results for years? And more importantly, why do you post that you're upset some women have better results?... Curious minds wanna know "I don't I'm an adult stuff happens or Doesn't and that's it change my approach have fun and chill | |||
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"Its probably a pain in the arse being a woman on here. Having an inbox full of unwanted or requested pictures and messages must be a headache. then getting questioned and abused as to why why they didnt reply etc. If men just let the ladies message who they wanted too, it would work better i think." This'll definitely get you laid | |||
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"It's just such a shame that there aren't more women on here so that the ratio of men to women would be better If I'd have known about swinging and this site when I was younger I would have been well into it" Me too
It's obviously a big secret | |||
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"I can't answer most of your questions. I believe women do the upper hand here but that what makes it fun for a lot of men. They love the chase. Unfortunately some are a lot better at it than others" Some men like me, enjoy the chase, others expect it to be put on a plate for them. Then get arsy when it isn't. Sad but true. | |||
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"I can't answer most of your questions. I believe women do the upper hand here but that what makes it fun for a lot of men. They love the chase. Unfortunately some are a lot better at it than others Some men like me, enjoy the chase, others expect it to be put on a plate for them. Then get arsy when it isn't. Sad but true." I’m neither, I don’t want it on a plate, I also dislike the chase. I just want to meet people where the attraction and interest is mutual | |||
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"I can't answer most of your questions. I believe women do the upper hand here but that what makes it fun for a lot of men. They love the chase. Unfortunately some are a lot better at it than others" Get your running shoes on willy! | |||
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it. I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though. For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection. It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis " They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult | |||
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"I can't answer most of your questions. I believe women do the upper hand here but that what makes it fun for a lot of men. They love the chase. Unfortunately some are a lot better at it than others Some men like me, enjoy the chase, others expect it to be put on a plate for them. Then get arsy when it isn't. Sad but true. · I’m neither, I don’t want it on a plate, I also dislike the chase. I just want to meet people where the attraction and interest is mutual" • I agree with Tea. The women that I've met on here were the fruition of mutual attraction, interests and reciprocal effort. I refuse to chase. | |||
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it. I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though. For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection. It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult "I'm not sure loads of messages is 'difficult'. Ignore, delete isn't hard. Or set filters to not get many. It's really not that challenging. | |||
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it. I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though. For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection. It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult "Not really, no. It’s like being presented with 49 bowls of flavourless porridge and one delicious bowl but you have to try all of the other bowls to find the one that you want. It’s exhausting and frustrating in different ways. The guys that think that’s a positive are generally the ones that will fuck anyone and don’t understand the want to find people that you actually want, not just a body to wank with | |||
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it. I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though. For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection. It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult
Not really, no. It’s like being presented with 49 bowls of flavourless porridge and one delicious bowl but you have to try all of the other bowls to find the one that you want. It’s exhausting and frustrating in different ways.
The guys that think that’s a positive are generally the ones that will fuck anyone and don’t understand the want to find people that you actually want, not just a body to wank with"Flavourless porridge, nice description | |||
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it. I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though. For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection. It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult
I'm not sure loads of messages is 'difficult'. Ignore, delete isn't hard. Or set filters to not get many. It's really not that challenging. "This exactly. The ones who get 100's a day, can easily rectify that but they choose not to. | |||
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it. I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though. For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection. It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult
I'm not sure loads of messages is 'difficult'. Ignore, delete isn't hard. Or set filters to not get many. It's really not that challenging.
This exactly. The ones who get 100's a day, can easily rectify that but they choose not to.
"That solves that issue but doesn’t make it easier. I’m sure that you understand that | |||
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it. I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though. For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection. It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult
I'm not sure loads of messages is 'difficult'. Ignore, delete isn't hard. Or set filters to not get many. It's really not that challenging.
This exactly. The ones who get 100's a day, can easily rectify that but they choose not to.
That solves that issue but doesn’t make it easier. I’m sure that you understand that"I'd say it's still easy for me as a female than it is a guy on here. | |||
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it. I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though. For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection. It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult
I'm not sure loads of messages is 'difficult'. Ignore, delete isn't hard. Or set filters to not get many. It's really not that challenging.
This exactly. The ones who get 100's a day, can easily rectify that but they choose not to.
That solves that issue but doesn’t make it easier. I’m sure that you understand that
I'd say it's still easy for me as a female than it is a guy on here. "It's a buyers market. It is what it is. Don't sweat it fellas | |||
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"I also think if men actually read profiles, it would save themselves a lot of wasted time. As a woman on here, I don’t have the ‘upper hand’ as most guys think, I’m also not ‘stuck up’ because I don’t fancy you, I can’t just shag anybody with a penis, if there’s no connection or chemistry, the sex would be dull as hell " Well said, agreed xx | |||
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If this was a sugar daddy website with 100 girls to every 1 rich sugar daddy who do you think would have the pick of the litter? Supply & demand | |||
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"I can't answer most of your questions. I believe women do the upper hand here but that what makes it fun for a lot of men. They love the chase. Unfortunately some are a lot better at it than others Get your running shoes on willy!" I'm catching you up! | |||
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"This question reminds me of the time I went to visit my grandmother in our small village, she dropped some serious wisdom on me. She said “Grandson, one day some people will waste their time reading your comment.” Today is that day "Those days are becoming quite frequent | |||
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"I can't answer most of your questions. I believe women do the upper hand here but that what makes it fun for a lot of men. They love the chase. Unfortunately some are a lot better at it than others Some men like me, enjoy the chase, others expect it to be put on a plate for them. Then get arsy when it isn't. Sad but true. · I’m neither, I don’t want it on a plate, I also dislike the chase. I just want to meet people where the attraction and interest is mutual • I agree with Tea. The women that I've met on here were the fruition of mutual attraction, interests and reciprocal effort. I refuse to chase." This is what the best chasers would say. Well played gents  | |||
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"This is definitely a good question. I doubt that you’ll catch the flies that you want with it but I’m hoping that some insight helps and some of the people that think this way do actually read it. I disagree that femmes have it easier, their experience is definitely different though. For guys I think that they often just don’t get the site, understand its nuances or how to make it work for them, they just keep repeating actions and hoping for a different outcome. Ultimately that impotent upset comes out as frustration and anger at others, mainly because lots of guys can’t or don’t know how to process big emotions and rejection. It’s all about ego, power dynamics and a whole load of social conditioning that many can’t unlearn or don’t want to. It could probably be a doctoral thesis They have it easier in terms of choice don't you think, ok the amount of messages that some get is difficult
Not really, no. It’s like being presented with 49 bowls of flavourless porridge and one delicious bowl but you have to try all of the other bowls to find the one that you want. It’s exhausting and frustrating in different ways.
The guys that think that’s a positive are generally the ones that will fuck anyone and don’t understand the want to find people that you actually want, not just a body to wank with"Flavourless porridge surely its all flavourless, I'm not a lover of cereals or milk and i get the point about setting filters age limits, areas etc my point was more to do with the power of choice, women have choice men not so much. I however have choice the majority don't and in their frustration with it all are willing to make sacrifices. Always always be polite though guys and don't hit women with sexual messages they are strangers to you until you meet and even then they may not find you attractive | |||
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"If I just want my vag filled with a dick, then sure, I could have one anytime. When I want to find someone I actually find attractive and spend quality time with, it's bloody hard on here. Sifting through the men who just want to cum on/in me and leave is tiresome. It's easier to have a couple of regular partners, take myself off the market and meet people at socials, than sift through fab for potential new gems" This is what surprised me about fab, I kinda got that most men on here aren't successful in finding someone, but was surprised that the same is true for women | |||
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"I think a large percentage of men on fab would shag a haystack while a larger percentage of women are looking for the needle in it. " Exactly this .... | |||
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"As mentioned the odds are heavily in favour of the women. I have zero success here, but then I'm not a swinger. On another site I successfully use the numbers are more even and the women there almost always msg me first. Different dynamic. " Which site is that then? | |||
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"I think a large percentage of men on fab would shag a haystack while a larger percentage of women are looking for the needle in it. " Big generalisation, most blokes want to stick it into a hole with an attractive face/body. There is a caveat involved tbf | |||
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