FabSwingers.com forum: Menopause and women's desire

By (user no longer on site) OP
25 weeks ago

We should stop making sweeping assumptions that it's the menopause to blame when a woman of a certain age stops wanting to have sex with someone or be in the lifestyle. We are far more complex than that and hormones are not the only factor at play when it comes to our levels of sexual desire.

The very worse thing you can do is put pressure on a woman, act like you are entitled to sex ... and if she is not having sex you are on to go shag elsewhere and condemn her to a dusty sexless shelf.

I am single ... smack bang in the middle of the menopause and having great sex and fun and I am as horny as I was in my 20's.

I know not every woman will be the same as me but there are often reasons completely unrelated to my menopause and hormones why I don't want sex or want sex with someone.

The advantage being 50 and menopausal is that I now have the confidence and give no fucks about standing up for myself and refusing to put up with bad sex or men that treat me like sh*t.

Women's desire is generally responsive whilst men's tends to be spontaneous (understand the difference guys) .... it starts in the little things you do every day to make her feel loved and cared for .... and not because you want sex in return ....

She might tell you it's the menopause.... but I am willing to guess it won't be solely that which is causing her to not want sex or be in this lifestyle. Properly listen to her ... and you might be able to unlock her desire again.

Or don't..... shag behind her back ... and then discover that hell has no fury like a menopausal woman

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By *ellinever70Woman
25 weeks ago

Ayrshire

Can we also stop attributing women's valid reactions to certain events to menopause?

We don't all turn into irrational moody monsters

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By (user no longer on site)
25 weeks ago

Well I'm an irrational and moody monster and perimenopausal but the two are not always connected.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
25 weeks ago

East Sussex

I think it's a good idea to treat women as individuals who will experience every life event in a way that's unique to them despite having factors in common with other women.

I also think that it's a good idea to respond to men who are finding it difficult to navigate their partners experience of menopause with information and advice because otherwise how do they know?

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By *odgerMooreMan
25 weeks ago

Carlisle

When is men’s suffering going to be realised? The menopause isn’t all about women… jeez sometimes women are so selfish… you might not be in the mood for dull uninspiring and potentially uncomfortable sex.. but what about men?? Its time women made their minds up if they want the window open or closed… the duvet on or off… it’s called the MENopause but we’re the ones suffering!!

( Does anyone have a place where I can hide for a bit… til this one blows over??)

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
25 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"When is men’s suffering going to be realised? The menopause isn’t all about women… jeez sometimes women are so selfish… you might not be in the mood for dull uninspiring and potentially uncomfortable sex.. but what about men?? Its time women made their minds up if they want the window open or closed… the duvet on or off… it’s called the MENopause but we’re the ones suffering!!

( Does anyone have a place where I can hide for a bit… til this one blows over??)

When they stop being entitled fucking ignorant whiners Todge..... ( can I sit by you for a bit ? )

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By *odgerMooreMan
25 weeks ago

Carlisle

( Does anyone have a place where I can hide for a bit… til this one blows over??)

When they stop being entitled fucking ignorant whiners Todge..... ( can I sit by you for a bit ? )"

Why did I just get Danger Zone from Top Gun in my head??

Sit next to me anytime xx

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By *ris GrayMan
25 weeks ago

Dorchester

I think its a good idea to treat each man as an individual whos desires go up and down like a yoyo lets have a little decorum for men please

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By *odgerMooreMan
25 weeks ago

Carlisle

"I think its a good idea to treat each man as an individual whos desires go up and down like a yoyo lets have a little decorum for men please

Plenty of room in the bunker Fred!!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
25 weeks ago

North West

( Does anyone have a place where I can hide for a bit… til this one blows over??)

Try The Winchester.

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By *ansoffateMan
25 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I agree with the principle, of not generalising people's individual experiences, but it happens in many shapes and forms.

I am glad that your experience was an empowering one. Is it not a generalisation you are making about how women's and men's desires function, though? My desire isn't spontaneous as you describe, as a man, far from it. I find that hard to relate to.

Sometimes being affected by the same issue actually works against empathy, as it can lead to assumptions due to affinity bias.

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By *ris GrayMan
25 weeks ago

Dorchester

"I think its a good idea to treat each man as an individual whos desires go up and down like a yoyo lets have a little decorum for men please

Plenty of room in the bunker Fred!!

"
omg a war veteran

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
25 weeks ago

East Sussex

Are people embarrassed by menopause? Is that why they make jokes about it?

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By *ris GrayMan
25 weeks ago

Dorchester

"Are people embarrassed by menopause? Is that why they make jokes about it?"
no I'm not embarassed about it its life but as the Op said their are many different types of women as their are men, so trying and be as flexible as possible with your opinions, we are not all in humane animals, it is the rutting season mind

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By *ellinever70Woman
25 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"Are people embarrassed by menopause? Is that why they make jokes about it?"

I think sometimes they don't want to acknowledge anything that makes a woman a whole person and not just something to do the sex to

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
25 weeks ago

North West

"Are people embarrassed by menopause? Is that why they make jokes about it?"

A lot of people are embarrassed or plain don't understand.

A lot of men don't like it because it might result in changes to their womenfolk that they don't like or understand.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
25 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Are people embarrassed by menopause? Is that why they make jokes about it?

A lot of people are embarrassed or plain don't understand.

A lot of men don't like it because it might result in changes to their womenfolk that they don't like or understand."

It's a shame because an informative discussion with experiences from both sides would be very valuable. Especially if men and women could say how they were feeling without someone bashing them

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By *ammymacMan
25 weeks ago

darlington

My wife is post menopausal and as we have been together for close on 40 years we know what we both like and enjoy.

Last night we had great sex and both ended up satisfied, however, knowing when she will next be wanting full sex is an unknown for me. It could be this week or it could be a month. Pre menopausal it was 3 or 4 times a week.

When she does she will give me a couple of hours notice to take a viagra and in the meantime I am required to sort myself out, which she approves off.

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By *ansoffateMan
25 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

"Are people embarrassed by menopause? Is that why they make jokes about it?

A lot of people are embarrassed or plain don't understand.

A lot of men don't like it because it might result in changes to their womenfolk that they don't like or understand.

It's a shame because an informative discussion with experiences from both sides would be very valuable. Especially if men and women could say how they were feeling without someone bashing them"

Here here

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By *ot to giggleWoman
25 weeks ago

Coventry

"We should stop making sweeping assumptions that it's the menopause to blame when a woman of a certain age stops wanting to have sex with someone or be in the lifestyle. We are far more complex than that and hormones are not the only factor at play when it comes to our levels of sexual desire.

The very worse thing you can do is put pressure on a woman, act like you are entitled to sex ... and if she is not having sex you are on to go shag elsewhere and condemn her to a dusty sexless shelf.

I am single ... smack bang in the middle of the menopause and having great sex and fun and I am as horny as I was in my 20's.

I know not every woman will be the same as me but there are often reasons completely unrelated to my menopause and hormones why I don't want sex or want sex with someone.

The advantage being 50 and menopausal is that I now have the confidence and give no fucks about standing up for myself and refusing to put up with bad sex or men that treat me like sh*t.

Or don't..... shag behind her back ... and then discover that hell has no fury like a menopausal woman

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