FabSwingers.com forum: Pondering attraction.

By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

As in, how it works on a personal level.

Can you be attracted to their Fab presence (posts, photos etc) or do you need more? Are there certain traits/physical attributes that are more likely to catch your eye?

Does it translate to the real world quite often for you? I'm thinking about *that* spark. When it's there on screen and you meet...

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By *offiaCoolWoman
26 weeks ago

Kidsgrove

I can get a pretty good idea of connection by prolonged chatting on here.

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By *r John WickMan
26 weeks ago

The Continental

I find myself drawn to many here because of their presence, persona, etc. But, I’ll always divine my ultimate attraction to someone when I’ve met them face to face.

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
26 weeks ago

somewhere

On the forums and pm I'm funny, talk to anyone, real life I'm quite different, I don't know if this is the same for many, not until I've been with them for about half hour when I've relaxed a bit x

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By *r John WickMan
26 weeks ago

The Continental

"On the forums and pm I'm funny, talk to anyone, real life I'm quite different, I don't know if this is the same for many, not until I've been with them for about half hour when I've relaxed a bit x"

I’m very similar, and find it takes me a while to be comfortable with someone I’ve never met.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
26 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

You can pick up a vibe and what someone is about from their profile.

It’s all in the eyes for us though - you can grab our attention on here but we are looking for that playfulness and that look of filth in their eyes that gives us twitches.

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By *itstoowoo2Woman
26 weeks ago

Newcastle

"On the forums and pm I'm funny, talk to anyone, real life I'm quite different, I don't know if this is the same for many, not until I've been with them for about half hour when I've relaxed a bit x"
I'm the same , I need to know someone for a bit before I come out of my shell

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By *emorefridaCouple
26 weeks ago

La la land

I can figure out if someone is on the same wavelength and is physically attractive to me from photos and the forum. But actual mental attraction probably not, I rarely fancy anyone without spending a fair bit of time with them. Attraction/fancying someone is a slow burning thing for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

I think you can get some idea of attraction online from a profile and text based conversation .... but the times it has translated best into face to face fireworks has also included hearing their voice and the odd video chat before meeting.

There are always those occasions when you build up this idea of the person and then nothing worse than they turn up 5 inches shorter than their profile, 10 years older and the charisma of rishi sunak... your foof dries up and you make your excuses to leave.

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By *herry delightWoman
26 weeks ago

Ilfracombe

As this is a swinging site I am only interested in swinging so I am not looking for a spark or anything else.

I will say it's a person desires and if they match mine that is more important on a swinging site.

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"I can get a pretty good idea of connection by prolonged chatting on here."

So when it comes to actually meeting someone it's not let you down before?

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

Lots of people will say that you need to meet to know.

I don't, I know if I'll like someone. There's very few people I get on with, and when I do over messages/calls I know I will in real life.

Well, it hasn't happened yet where I don't

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By *offiaCoolWoman
26 weeks ago

Kidsgrove

"I can get a pretty good idea of connection by prolonged chatting on here.

So when it comes to actually meeting someone it's not let you down before? "

Rarely. I wouldn't agree to a social meet unless I was pretty sure.

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"I find myself drawn to many here because of their presence, persona, etc. But, I’ll always divine my ultimate attraction to someone when I’ve met them face to face. "

Drawn to...

So you wouldn't find yourself getting a bit... stiffer when interacting with someone before you've actually met them? Or is it more a stamp of approval on it when you've met?

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By *r John WickMan
26 weeks ago

The Continental

"I find myself drawn to many here because of their presence, persona, etc. But, I’ll always divine my ultimate attraction to someone when I’ve met them face to face.

Drawn to...

So you wouldn't find yourself getting a bit... stiffer when interacting with someone before you've actually met them? Or is it more a stamp of approval on it when you've met?"

That’s a tough one to answer, because I can find myself aroused by a person online, but might not have seen their face. That may seem a little backward, I guess that’s the more base part of my mind. But…..I still might not be attracted to that person when I’ve met them.

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By *ell GwynnWoman
26 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

I used to think I could know if I fancied someone from forum posts and DM's, but there have been a couple of occasions over the past 9 years when that online chemistry just wasn't present upon meeting for whatever reason.

I now see it as the potential for strong in-person chemistry, and refrain from getting too invested in the run-up to the big reveal.

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By *ustamanMan
26 weeks ago

weymouth

Online persona can be quite different to their real life persona. So yes I can be attracted to a virtual person but not in reality and visa versa

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By *ondonMagicCouple
26 weeks ago

Durham

We sometimes that we are, and we like to build a rapport otherwise there isn’t much to tell really….

However we are both drawn to different people sometimes and it helps

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"On the forums and pm I'm funny, talk to anyone, real life I'm quite different, I don't know if this is the same for many, not until I've been with them for about half hour when I've relaxed a bit x"

So attraction for you is when you're more relaxed with another? It's a slow brain day, I'm not quite following apologies.

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

I think so yes. I kind of get the a buzz when chatting with someone and you click. I feel like it makes for a better meet. Like wise i can easily get put off with a post etc. I guess everyone looks for different things tho x

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By *rBobbMan
26 weeks ago

Birmingham

I can be attracted to their fab presence. Mainly from their photos and profile text. The main one for me is two way communication.

It's always a pleasure to see someone you are attracted to pop up in my inbox.

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By *ickyKlungespeareMan
26 weeks ago

St Leonards

"I find myself drawn to many here because of their presence, persona, etc. But, I’ll always divine my ultimate attraction to someone when I’ve met them face to face. "

What John said.

Also, and very much, what is fascinating in our own space on a smartphone, promiscuously jumping from thread to thread etc, could be as annoying as hell in the flesh.

So what works here could be the antithesis of attraction in reality.

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By *eroLondonMan
26 weeks ago

Covent Garden

The stimulus for me is the initial Fab attraction by way of their forum presence and how they post (their style of delivery, vernacular...). Photographs can ignite some attraction but not every forum dweller has images on their profile.

When I meet them in person quite often — in my personal experience — that attraction transcends seamlessly from their online presence to the real world. Attraction for me occurs on every level. And not every meet is related to sex.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
26 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

I've chatted with people here and thought there was attraction and then met them in real life and it wasn't there.

I've chatted with people here, seen face pics and thought they're attractive but not for me and then seen them in real life and fancied the pants off them.

I've chatted with people and the online attraction has translated to real life chemistry.

You never can tell with bees.

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"You can pick up a vibe and what someone is about from their profile.

It’s all in the eyes for us though - you can grab our attention on here but we are looking for that playfulness and that look of filth in their eyes that gives us twitches.

Can you predict those twitches? Would you ever say... skip the social stage and go straight to the fucking/sex because you know that it'll be there?

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

Can't say words or pictures do it for me at all! Anyone can photoshop or say anything(lie) has to be in person

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By *mber and FireCouple
26 weeks ago

Carmarthenshire

It's not too difficult for me to know through a few messages whether I'm going to click with someone through a few messages; but I put that down to a lot of time online as a teenager and friends all over the UK as a result. I can see attractive people and really appreciate them, but it's their intellect and passion for the things that excite them that really draws me in and is the basis for any sort of physical engagement.

Lou on the other hand struggles with communicating through messages, so she tends to have a cursory chat to make sure they're at least interesting enough to warrant a social - she does better face to face, but still needs somewhat of a spark to draw her in. These days at least anyway.

But we are fussy, and we won't really do anything (or anyone) just because they're there - no matter how hot. Maybe.

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"I can figure out if someone is on the same wavelength and is physically attractive to me from photos and the forum. But actual mental attraction probably not, I rarely fancy anyone without spending a fair bit of time with them. Attraction/fancying someone is a slow burning thing for me. "

Do you ever find it being a slow burning thing is kind of at odds with how most people are on Fab? I sometimes think it can make things a bit difficult... I want that mental as well as physical attraction and that can take time.

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By *nnCeeWoman
26 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

"On the forums and pm I'm funny, talk to anyone, real life I'm quite different, I don't know if this is the same for many, not until I've been with them for about half hour when I've relaxed a bit x"

In the way that people talk about "keyboard warriors", I think this ^ does give many people a little more confidence. Tapping out a response as your profile can give allow you to be perhaps cheekier than you might be with someone in person, unless you know them very well. Because intonation is lost between writing and reading, some posts won't be received as they were meant (for me, normally with tongue firmly in cheek) and misunderstandings can arise.

It's only when you've seen a lot of posts by one person that you can begin to understand them (for me) and a live conversation will help with that.

I have been lucky enough to have met Ms. GMALB in person and can confirm she is just as lovely and amusing in her gorgeous flesh as she is on here, if not more so!

Personally, I can be attracted to someone's online persona, but if there's no spark when we meet, then game over. I'm not sure how good I am at judging whether or not we'll get on, as I've not really met many I've spoken to for a long time.

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By *emorefridaCouple
26 weeks ago

La la land

It is definitely at odds with how Fab works. Which is probably why we haven't met many people. Most get bored waiting for my brain to catch up with the physical attraction. It frustrates me sometimes, but it's how I am and that's ok.

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By *hilloutMan
26 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"As in, how it works on a personal level.

Can you be attracted to their Fab presence (posts, photos etc) or do you need more? Are there certain traits/physical attributes that are more likely to catch your eye?

Does it translate to the real world quite often for you? I'm thinking about *that* spark. When it's there on screen and you meet...

The fab presence is a component of course, but my personal interaction with them would ultimately determine the level of attractiveness involved. I've always been a sucker for boobs and bum. People that possess both that I find attractive certainly pique my interest more readily.

In the past, the vast majority that caused a spark online also did so when meeting in person.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
26 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

I am attracted / drawn to personality on here but im never sexually attracted to someone i've not yet seen.

I know which are more important

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
26 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"I find myself drawn to many here because of their presence, persona, etc. But, I’ll always divine my ultimate attraction to someone when I’ve met them face to face.

Drawn to...

So you wouldn't find yourself getting a bit... stiffer when interacting with someone before you've actually met them? Or is it more a stamp of approval on it when you've met?"

As men wake up stiff AND/OR get stiff when someone says 'jugs' and even worse when they see someone cleaning a broom handle ...... I've never taken a boner as a compliment to me.

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By *r John WickMan
26 weeks ago

The Continental

"I find myself drawn to many here because of their presence, persona, etc. But, I’ll always divine my ultimate attraction to someone when I’ve met them face to face.

Drawn to...

So you wouldn't find yourself getting a bit... stiffer when interacting with someone before you've actually met them? Or is it more a stamp of approval on it when you've met?

As men wake up stiff AND/OR get stiff when someone says 'jugs' and even worse when they see someone cleaning a broom handle ...... I've never taken a boner as a compliment to me."

You’re is the Hottest fkin silhouette I’ve ever seen.

Fapping like crazy here

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By *ripfillMan
26 weeks ago

havant

"I can get a pretty good idea of connection by prolonged chatting on here."

100% agree

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

Morning OP. I tend to look at people's profiles if I like the comments or banter in the lounge (oh, I also look at them if they appear in my updates or searches for w/in 5-20 miles).

I find people on Fab interesting, not sure initially that it is attraction (though there are some very attractive people on Fab). However, if we get chatting, meet socially, then attraction may develope, but that does not mean we are necessarily going to be jumping in to bed together (but who knows). I have quite a few platonic friends from Fab and don't see those relationships changing (i like meeting them socially, for meals, walks, drinks, cakes, picnics and one on holidays - i do need to meet one who would dogvsit when im on holiday!).

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By *ensuallover1000Man
26 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I can very much be initially attracted to someone on here via a combination of their photos and their forum persona, intelligence and sense of humour.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
26 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"I find myself drawn to many here because of their presence, persona, etc. But, I’ll always divine my ultimate attraction to someone when I’ve met them face to face.

Drawn to...

So you wouldn't find yourself getting a bit... stiffer when interacting with someone before you've actually met them? Or is it more a stamp of approval on it when you've met?

As men wake up stiff AND/OR get stiff when someone says 'jugs' and even worse when they see someone cleaning a broom handle ...... I've never taken a boner as a compliment to me.

You’re is the Hottest fkin silhouette I’ve ever seen.

Fapping like crazy here

You are so astute ! I like to leave much to the imagination.

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"I think you can get some idea of attraction online from a profile and text based conversation .... but the times it has translated best into face to face fireworks has also included hearing their voice and the odd video chat before meeting.

I dunno, Sunak is really quite charismatic and sexy so that's not a good comparison. I'd be slip and sliding my way through a social if he turned up.

Is voice quite important to you then? I love voice notes before I meet someone, phone calls because it helps me get more of a feel for a person. I think in part that's because another's voice does matter to me. How attracted I am to them*.

*yeah, there has been exceptions. Rose tinted hearing aids.

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"The fab presence is a component of course, but my personal interaction with them would ultimately determine the level of attractiveness involved. I've always been a sucker for boobs and bum. People that possess both that I find attractive certainly pique my interest more readily."

I had no idea Chilly, you've certainly kept that hidden. Do you ever find during conversation that your interest is piqued so much you find maintaining eye contact challenging?

"In the past, the vast majority that caused a spark online also did so when meeting in person."

So you know when the chemistry is there/or isn't before you've met someone... did you know if you'd have sex before you'd spent time together?

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

I think I can be attracted to bodies and personalities on here but on other apps and irl faces matter way more to me. On here you build up a liking for someone before seeing faces sometimes so it matters less than when it’s the first thing you see (it still matters though)

I dunno. It’s weird on here. Can make you feel ugly for sure.

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By *EAT..85Woman
26 weeks ago

Nottingham

"On the forums and pm I'm funny, talk to anyone, real life I'm quite different, I don't know if this is the same for many, not until I've been with them for about half hour when I've relaxed a bit x"

I'm the opposite! I'm not very funny in the forums but I'm highly amusing in person. I guess that's why most of my fun friends come from day to day in-person interactions.

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By * and R cple4Couple
26 weeks ago

swansea

You can be slightly attracted to what you perceive someone to be like on here but when you meet them face to face even the way they look can be totally different.

We've skipped past profiles before now as we instantly thought they weren't what we are looking for and then we have met them at group socials and instantly clicked and have been very pleasantly surprised.

It's very easy to create a online persona and make yourself a totally different person. We prefer that face to face interaction..

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

I need something to spark my interest. At first it’s a profile and pictures. However this can quickly dissipate if they lack the ability to engage in communication. Some people can’t keep a conversation alive for example. Their good looks can disappear too.

If they’ve captured my attention, sustained it in chatting, meeting face to face is my last verification to determine if it’s truly a spark or not. This includes kissing them.

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
26 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

No matter how attractive the person, Fab messaging dies off. It's clunky and there's distance. Some survive to Telegram and even then it can die off or go dormant until in the area.

Once a social has occurred it's a different ball game. They are under my spell lol

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"You can be slightly attracted to what you perceive someone to be like on here but when you meet them face to face even the way they look can be totally different.

It's very easy to create a online persona and make yourself a totally different person. We prefer that face to face interaction.. "

This.

Can definitely get a vibe here but it doesn't translate in 3D or not be drawn to a profile yet click with them in 3D x

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"Lots of people will say that you need to meet to know.

I don't, I know if I'll like someone. There's very few people I get on with, and when I do over messages/calls I know I will in real life.

Well, it hasn't happened yet where I don't

On the forums, yes. I think they do. Away from... I'm not so sure.

Have you found that people like you enough to want to see you again? As in... your initial thoughts of liking someone and them liking you are right?

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By *ongAndThick123Man
26 weeks ago

Leeds

Nobody will get a sense of who I am from the forums. The way I write is very blunt and direct, but my personality is nothing like that at all (I’m very chilled, relaxed and soft).

It’s like my brain can’t translate my thoughts into written words accurately

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By *gent CoulsonMan
26 weeks ago

Secret hideaway in the pennines

I think there can be a huge variance between the on line persona and the actual person.

It is easy to create a profile that makes you think you would click with that person, but it's only when you meet face to face that you really get a true impression of who someone is and whether that spark actually exists or not as the case may be.

It's easy to confident or assertive sat behind a keyboard.

In my opinion that is.

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"The stimulus for me is the initial Fab attraction by way of their forum presence and how they post (their style of delivery, vernacular...). Photographs can ignite some attraction but not every forum dweller has images on their profile.

When that attraction doesn't seamlessly transcend - would you say you're quite good at handling that? Do you ever feel disappointment?

I understand about forum presence. It can make me, perhaps not attracted to someone but definitely intrigued enough to message them. Want to find out more. Just from a rather platonic base.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
26 weeks ago

Glasgow / London

"This includes kissing them."

I’m glad someone said that. And I’m glad it was you, too.

I’m with Coyote on being pretty sure about attraction (and even just friendship) from online chatter. Backed up with a photo or two, usually - because attraction has to be physical as well as intellectual.

I’ve rarely been wrong, anyway.

But things cross that line from ‘I fancy you’ to ‘I physically, viscerally, want you’ with that first kiss.

The kiss is really fucking important to me.

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"I used to think I could know if I fancied someone from forum posts and DM's, but there have been a couple of occasions over the past 9 years when that online chemistry just wasn't present upon meeting for whatever reason.

I now see it as the potential for strong in-person chemistry, and refrain from getting too invested in the run-up to the big reveal."

How do you stop yourself from becoming too invested in someone, Frodo? What do you do to create distance if it's something you've done before?

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

"Lots of people will say that you need to meet to know.

I don't, I know if I'll like someone. There's very few people I get on with, and when I do over messages/calls I know I will in real life.

Well, it hasn't happened yet where I don't

On the forums, yes. I think they do. Away from... I'm not so sure.

Have you found that people like you enough to want to see you again? As in... your initial thoughts of liking someone and them liking you are right? "

I tend not to meet again, I think they've suffered enough after on meet. Sometimes that's their choice.

There's only one guy I still keep in touch with and have plans to meet again.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
26 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

"You can pick up a vibe and what someone is about from their profile.

It’s all in the eyes for us though - you can grab our attention on here but we are looking for that playfulness and that look of filth in their eyes that gives us twitches.

Can you predict those twitches? Would you ever say... skip the social stage and go straight to the fucking/sex because you know that it'll be there?"

No, we don’t skip but if it’s all there it can be quick. We are impulsive but we are also diligent - the heat always always has to be there and that look in their eyes is vital too.

For example, we started chatting to a gent on Sunday, met him for a drink on Monday and him and C were mentally undressing each other, so we invited him home - no need to wait as we didn’t have any dates coming up to offer, so we took the opportunity.

Craig David has nothing on us

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By *nitterWoman
26 weeks ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

I find if you spend enough time in the forums you can see the true nature of most people by what they leave here. There are a few that I am very attracted to for that reason.

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By *4bimMan
26 weeks ago

Farnborough Hampshire

i make it difficult.

the real me doesnt appear until we meet.

everything else is a test to see if my valuable time is going to spent with the right person/s

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"It's not too difficult for me to know through a few messages whether I'm going to click with someone through a few messages; but I put that down to a lot of time online as a teenager and friends all over the UK as a result. I can see attractive people and really appreciate them, but it's their intellect and passion for the things that excite them that really draws me in and is the basis for any sort of physical engagement.

But we are fussy, and we won't really do anything (or anyone) just because they're there - no matter how hot. Maybe."

That final maybe.

If you do spend a lot of time online, can read people quite well and assess compatibility it's a lot easier to pick up on how that'll translate. Intellect and passion is a big thing for me - I'm quite fond of mental masturbation but that... wit isn't necessarily always there in person sadly.

Do you tend to do a social more quickly without lots of messaging beforehand considering how Lou views it?

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By *had_ThunderCockMan
26 weeks ago

a place somewhat adjacent to you…

"This includes kissing them.

The kiss is really fucking important to me. "

@rose tinted glasses so I hear

I also have to agree in main sentiments in this thread.

I have only met three individuals on here, and In each instance they were all better socials than I had anticipated, based on our online interactions. I have met I individuals at group socials, but have found those experiences hollow in terms of prolonged meaningful engagement or interactions.

Albeit, overall I do need to up the kissing & intimacy stakes as RTG is correct; it’s important.

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

I'm very similar and at times I do wish I could be more... relaxed? Faster burning? But I'm not and I'm also generally rather comfortable with that. I have no desire to be intimate with a lot of people and I'd much rather focus on those interactions where... it feels like me being a slow burner is ok.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
26 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Fab presence can stir thoughts and sometimes be a motivator to engage further. Visuals and words always help with initial attraction and forum posts are an insight into someone's personality.

That said you can't guarantee that passes over in to real life all the time. The safety net of Internet anonymity offers people the chance to create and develop personas and characters that can differ either slightly or massively in person.

It doesn't happen that often, but it's a distinct possibility. Sometimes that real life spark isn't there and that's fine.

Lots of things look 'shiny' online that appear duller or tarnished in real life.

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"I need something to spark my interest. At first it’s a profile and pictures. However this can quickly dissipate if they lack the ability to engage in communication. Some people can’t keep a conversation alive for example. Their good looks can disappear too. "

No they can't sadly. Conversations where little is asked of me, where it's very much about them... they quickly bore me. I also don't want serious all the time, nor silly, nor flirting. Maybe some people are better face to face and we write them off too quickly.

"If they’ve captured my attention, sustained it in chatting, meeting face to face is my last verification to determine if it’s truly a spark or not. This includes kissing them.

Yes. The kiss tells you so much doesn't it? I've had a date which was pleasant enough but not particularly... thrilling. Once they kissed me though? I quickly found out there was a lot of chemistry and we spoke far more easily. Maybe it was nervous energy? Shyness? Who knows.

Kissing definitely changes it to something more, when it works.

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By *ealitybitesMan
26 weeks ago

Belfast

Nice pics, thoughtful bios and a productive forum presence are just parts of the attraction jigsaw.

I've been attracted enough by someone's profile to get in touch only for that attraction to wither and die after a handful of poor attitude messages.

I've been attracted enough by someone's forum presence to say hello only to find them extremely limited in conversation skills.

Some amazing profiles and forum personas just mask some incredibly ugly people and personalities.

Attraction for me has to be reciprocal.

I'm attracted to mutual attraction and that isn't an option with people who are only interested in me being interested in them.

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By *ellhungvweMan
26 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I think that what happens on screen and in real life are two different things. Physical attraction can be piqued by photos but I think you need to meet in real life to see what someone is actually like.

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By *rsKOTCTWoman
26 weeks ago

Leeds

I can be attracted enough to their pics and forum presence to decide if I'd like to meet socially - it's not enough for me to decide if I'd like to meet sexually though I need in person for that.

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"I find if you spend enough time in the forums you can see the true nature of most people by what they leave here. There are a few that I am very attracted to for that reason. "

Yes, to a certain extent I'd agree with that... I'm not sure it's the "true nature" because no one truly sees and knows who another is on here. Our views on others are shaped and clouded by so many things.

I'd say over time you get more of a feel for if they could be someone you're compatible with, platonically or otherwise.

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"I can very much be initially attracted to someone on here via a combination of their photos and their forum persona, intelligence and sense of humour.

Do you ever act on that initial attraction? Talking away from the forums, meeting people etc.

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By *ansoffateMan
26 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Yes presence can attract me, but also I need more.

There are physical traits that catch my eye but they draw me to that presence.

Hard to say if it translates into the real world, I can be a slow-burn. Conversation in person or on the phone is a pretty good sign.

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By *ex HolesMan
26 weeks ago

Up North

Tits

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By *ell GwynnWoman
26 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

I now see it as the potential for strong in-person chemistry, and refrain from getting too invested in the run-up to the big reveal.

How do you stop yourself from becoming too invested in someone, Frodo? What do you do to create distance if it's something you've done before?"

By reminding myself that the messages and forum posts are carefully calculated to convey a particular image. That photos can be filtered, or be out of date. 9 years ago I'd be all excited in the run-up to a first meet (yeah, I used the M word, Mellster!), only to find the 3D person was quite different from my initial impressions. Mostly it was a positive surprise, but occasionally it wasn't. The mannerisms, gait, smell, facial expressions, voice etc. It can all add to or deplete that first online attraction.

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By *eroLondonMan
26 weeks ago

Covent Garden

When that attraction doesn't seamlessly transcend - would you say you're quite good at handling that? Do you ever feel disappointment?

I understand about forum presence. It can make me, perhaps not attracted to someone but definitely intrigued enough to message them. Want to find out more. Just from a rather platonic base."

•

Yes I am ok'ish at handling it (I am human after all) because invariably things can be platonic from the onset or a friendship of starts to germinate from it ... even if we were perhaps perceiving something 'more'.

Do I ever feel disappointment? Yes. Who wouldn't? When so much has been invested before the initial meet. I don't possess a 'laissez-faire' attitude on here.

Don't you just love "intrigue"? Where would we be without it? So many ships of Possibilities have been launched from the dry docks of Intrigue.

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By (user no longer on site)
26 weeks ago

The Forums (or online in general) tends to see both the playful and the more serious side of me, and I guess that's pretty much how I am anyway. I've been told that I come across the way I am online, and when pressed whether that's a good thing I've been told it is.

I don't see that in many people online. Without offence, "the English" tend to be more reserved in person than online. Or at least that's my perception of the persona. Almost everyone I've met who's been a regular online has been a little bit awks irl. Maybe that's why most interact online?

Once you've overcome that initial awkwardness it gets a lot better. But it makes me mindful how true people are.

Physically, I think there are pretty and sexy people here I'm definitely attracted to. I'm in totally the most inappropriate place to reply to this so I've probably lost track of what I was saying.

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By *hilloutMan
26 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I had no idea Chilly, you've certainly kept that hidden. Do you ever find during conversation that your interest is piqued so much you find maintaining eye contact challenging?

In the past, the vast majority that caused a spark online also did so when meeting in person.

So you know when the chemistry is there/or isn't before you've met someone... did you know if you'd have sex before you'd spent time together?

No. I always maintain good eye contact but can be amused if the other person is having some difficulty with that

As to the second question, almost always yes. When meeting someone it was practically assured we'd be getting down and dirty

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By *hil most chillMan
26 weeks ago

South East & Europe

Personality and attitude is so important. Yes visuals are too, but I can be way more turned on by someone considered less attractive if they have an attractive personality. I'm not sure I explained that well, but someone's attitude and the way they act has a big effect on me

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By *orace99Man
26 weeks ago

York

I can look at photos and think someone is attractive but need to get a proper vibe through chatting.

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By *anae21Woman
26 weeks ago

Nearer than you think

Most women know what body shape they find attractive, but I need to establish some communication and see a man's face before I'm really hooked in.

Even then, I often wriggle off the line.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
26 weeks ago

Portsmouth

I definitely have a thing for pretty eyes and a good head of hair, the ultimate combination is blue eyes and dark curly hair...I think that goes back to one of my first loves as a teenager.

Or, they can just have "something" about them. That thing you just can't describe but you feel that spark.

Of course, how someone appears online doesn't always translate into real life.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
26 weeks ago

Reading

Usually it does.

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By *ansoffateMan
26 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

"Tits

Legend

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By *ake_or_deathMan
26 weeks ago

Manchester

I can definitely find myself attracted to someone on here from, yes, their pictures but also if they are articulate and interesting on the forums on in private messages. And that can be articulate conversation about innocent topics or on complete and utter filth.

How does that compare to actually meeting? It can be mixed. A spark in person is a different thing to a spark online. It's about body-language, verbal interaction, comfort touching...and that can be difficult to predict.

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"Personality and attitude is so important. Yes visuals are too, but I can be way more turned on by someone considered less attractive if they have an attractive personality. I'm not sure I explained that well, but someone's attitude and the way they act has a big effect on me"

No, it makes perfect sense - someone can be very conventionally attractive but if they display a dire attitude, personality on the forums (as an example) they're considerably less so in my mind.

Like threads ranting about the opposite sex. Someone from the opposite sex. It's so very unattractive.

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By *eli OP Woman
26 weeks ago

"No matter how attractive the person, Fab messaging dies off. It's clunky and there's distance. Some survive to Telegram and even then it can die off or go dormant until in the area.

Once a social has occurred it's a different ball game. They are under my spell lol "

I think sometimes Fab messages can die off... they can be clunky and it's not really a great platform for establishing proper conversation. It can happen though.

Once you've met... yeah, I can see why it's a different ball game. You can truly lust after someone, you have that in person connection and chemistry. Virtual is lovely but it doesn't replace real life interaction. Flirting. Chemistry.

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By *orace99Man
26 weeks ago

York

"Most women know what body shape they find attractive, but I need to establish some communication and see a man's face before I'm really hooked in.

Even then, I often wriggle off the line. "

You would certainly be a catch

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
26 weeks ago

A den in the Glen

"No matter how attractive the person, Fab messaging dies off. It's clunky and there's distance. Some survive to Telegram and even then it can die off or go dormant until in the area.

Once a social has occurred it's a different ball game. They are under my spell lol

I think sometimes Fab messages can die off... they can be clunky and it's not really a great platform for establishing proper conversation. It can happen though.

Last 2 words you said are very important. And as someone mentioned above - which is hopefully where it lands. The kissing.

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