FabSwingers.com forum: Do women initiate 80% of divorces?

By *hagTonight OP Man
38 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

I read an interesting article saying that most of the time women initiate divorces, whilst of course men do it to, but not to that extent.

It mentied that women are more likely to not stay in unsatisfactory marriages, which could be one of the reasons too for the high number.

It also said that, just because they end it, it doesnt mean they were majority of reason relationships fail.

They also mentioned an interesting thing about cheating, saying that men are more likely to be ok if a woman cheated once and lets say a man cheated and a woman divorced him, that doesnt mean the woman made the marriage fail, if she cheated and the man left the woman made the marriage fail too.

What is your view about it and do you agree with it and the high percentage or could it be a bit lower or even 50/50? I think that it is a bit too high and I guess it could be more evenly too

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I initiated both my divorces....

It's takes two people to make a marriage work .... and two people to make it fail ...but if you are cheating ... you are accepting the risk of being caught and the consequences.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

East Sussex

I asked for a divorce because of his behaviour. You could say that he initiated it because he wasn't willing to change until he realised I was serious

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
38 weeks ago

little house on the praire

My ex husband initiated ours

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By *hoirCouple
38 weeks ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"I read an interesting article saying that most of the time women initiate divorces, whilst of course men do it to, but not to that extent.

It mentied that women are more likely to not stay in unsatisfactory marriages, which could be one of the reasons too for the high number.

It also said that, just because they end it, it doesnt mean they were majority of reason relationships fail.

What is your view about it and do you agree with it and the high percentage or could it be a bit lower or even 50/50? I think that it is a bit too high and I guess it could be more evenly too

Anecdotally speaking I would definitely agree with those figures. I am yet to come across a single relationship (including my own) that has been terminated permanently by the male half. Having had various conversations with C about this as well he would agree with this estimation

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By *hagTonight OP Man
38 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"I initiated both my divorces....

It's takes two people to make a marriage work .... and two people to make it fail ...but if you are cheating ... you are accepting the risk of being caught and the consequences."
Yes, you are right there, it does take 2 people to make a marriage work and to fail it too

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I initiated mine. Ex although deep down knew we weren't working would have carried on.

Some not all men don't cope well on there own so it's an easier option rather than starting over. I've had a few guys say that to me.

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By *hagTonight OP Man
38 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 29/05/24 16:15:49]

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By *hagTonight OP Man
38 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"I asked for a divorce because of his behaviour. You could say that he initiated it because he wasn't willing to change until he realised I was serious "
Yes, you are right there. I can see why you asked for a divorce too.

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By *ssex_tomMan
38 weeks ago

Chelmsford

Women often Initiate the divorce but the clever ones have a fallback position. Often a better provider or knowing they will keep the house and maintainace for her children..

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
38 weeks ago

Weymouth

I've been dumped more times than I've been the dumper

- Xeno

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By *ell GwynnWoman
38 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

"Women often Initiate the divorce but the clever ones have a fallback position. Often a better provider or knowing they will keep the house and maintainace for her children.."

Their children, Tom, not hers. The kids have 2 parents and both need to ensure their housing and upkeep.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

For my 2p worth, i'd imagine a lot of seperations happen mutually or by either partner .. but maybe the women are more organised or driven to instigate the actual official divorce ?

And yeah, it is their children ..

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By *ripfillMan
38 weeks ago

Paris, New York, Hong Kong and Havant

They say- you should always marry your second wife first !

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By *ssex_tomMan
38 weeks ago

Chelmsford

The mother may have had children by a previous marriage tho

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
38 weeks ago

your head

"The mother may have had children by a previous marriage tho "

In which case the step parent is not legally responsible for them but when it is the parents of the children separating, they are both responsible.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
38 weeks ago

your head

I initiated the separation, the divorce was his idea a couple of years later. There was nothing left to try and save at that point so I didn't hesitate to sign the paperwork.

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By *host63Man
38 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

Yes it is for the simple fact that men have more to lose in divorce. Alimony, loss of your home, limited access to children if you are lucky.

It's one of the reasons an increasing number of men are no longer getting married.

It's not worth it. Even cohabitation is a risk.

In my own case I had a long term girlfriend she moved on an e en though we worked in the same company in different areas and new that we both needed to contribute refused. I nearly lost my home. In the end she left me and tried to claim half my house under common law. It was thrown out fortunately. But an awful experience.

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By *host63Man
38 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

"I initiated mine. Ex although deep down knew we weren't working would have carried on.

Some not all men don't cope well on there own so it's an easier option rather than starting over. I've had a few guys say that to me.

Actually I fund its the woman who do not cope well alone. I partner dance and see this a lot. The woman divorce for the most ridiculous reasons then immediately look for another man to replace the one they got rid of. Finding this is not as easy as they think end up buying a cat because they actually cannot cope living alone.

Apart from the woman I moved in when I bought my home and thought she could live off me I have spent most of the last 27yrs on my own and pretty much do OK because I find ways of occupying myself with outside interests such as dancing and keeping in shape. Travelling tiding my motorcycle going to gigs and shows and more.

I a. Often asked by these women how I manage as well as I do.

But I don't think I am unique there are a lot of men like me and we become accustomed and cope being alone. Women are more social and unless they have a large circle of friends really suffer.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"Yes it is for the simple fact that men have more to lose in divorce. Alimony, loss of your home, limited access to children if you are lucky.

It's one of the reasons an increasing number of men are no longer getting married.

It's not worth it. Even cohabitation is a risk.

In my last divorce I had more to lose .... and the default should be 50/50 with kids

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By *9alMan
38 weeks ago

Bridgend

my ex initiated the divorce it was not a good experience for me emotionally or financially, she kept the house & I ended up living in a rented caravan. I have found lots of men who have had bad experience of divorce, the law does not work for men

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By *host63Man
38 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

Absolutely qhi h is why a man should be wary. So many women looking for a retirement fund.

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By *lderflower_AppleWoman
38 weeks ago

Basingstoke

100% of my divorces were initiated by my ex-husbands... All two of them. Well, I guess strictly speaking I initiated the first - following his decision to disappear out of my life with another woman without even saying goodbye.

The second came as a bolt out of the blue, when he told me he'd never been happy in our 5 year marriage and thought he'd made a mistake 'settling' for me, so he wanted to separate

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
38 weeks ago

North West

"Absolutely qhi h is why a man should be wary. So many women looking for a retirement fund."

There's a word on the tip of my tongue. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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By *ornucopiaMan
38 weeks ago

Bexley

"I initiated both my divorces....

It's takes two people to make a marriage work .... and two people to make it fail ...but if you are cheating ... you are accepting the risk of being caught and the consequences."

Instead of cheating, people should stick to playing away from home. It is a lot safer and is not such a big deal as cheating!

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
38 weeks ago

your head

I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

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By *ornucopiaMan
38 weeks ago

Bexley

There's a word on the tip of my tongue. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Clitoris?

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Women instigate the end to a relationship due to the man's behaviour. The guy never will then he can blame the break down of the relationship on her, even though he was the one lying/cheating.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

I'm not going into my own situation here .. but i'm of the opinion my kids come 1st an i want to support them as best i can and dont grudge a penny for them to grow up happy & healthy, doesnt make my ex a gold digger.

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By *rBobbMan
38 weeks ago

Birmingham

My Ex wife instigated our divorce when she cheated and traded me in for a younger model

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By *hagTonight OP Man
38 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

"I read an interesting article saying that most of the time women initiate divorces, whilst of course men do it to, but not to that extent.

It mentied that women are more likely to not stay in unsatisfactory marriages, which could be one of the reasons too for the high number.

It also said that, just because they end it, it doesnt mean they were majority of reason relationships fail.

What is your view about it and do you agree with it and the high percentage or could it be a bit lower or even 50/50? I think that it is a bit too high and I guess it could be more evenly too

P"
That is good you also agree with it

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By *melia DominaTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Edinburgh (She/Her)

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

I agree not all do, but unfortunately its a repeating history of a majority that tells a different story.

Bitter a pill maybe some are right to claim compensation, others not so.

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
38 weeks ago

Maidstone

My ex husband initiated it. From where I'm standing I'm not seeing that the woman ends up better off at all. *shrugs* guess I really did marry the wrong guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

The stats are the stats.

I'd say women are more likely to forgive cheating. The data that I've seen has shown that for the men who try to forgive cheating, very few succeed. We tie so much of our masculinity to such things that the resentment is hard to shake.

I've never been married, but I've ended every relationship I've had. Although the most recent forced my hand in a way the others hadn't.

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By *ornucopiaMan
38 weeks ago

Bexley

"My Ex wife instigated our divorce when she cheated and traded me in for a younger model"

'..our divorce'

That sounds quite sweet, really!

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By *inger_SnapWoman
38 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Most couples I know it's been the women, because the men are quite happy to continue as long as they're comfortable. The women get fed up of the situation and make the changes.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Every time I read about what men and women usually do, I always seem to be the woman.

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By *dam1971Man
38 weeks ago

Bedford

"Most couples I know it's been the women, because the men are quite happy to continue as long as they're comfortable. The women get fed up of the situation and make the changes."

It was the exact opposite for me. At the time I didn’t know anyone else (family or friends) who had gone through a divorce so I had nobody to talk to about it.

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By *arl17Man
38 weeks ago

Central Portugal

"Most couples I know it's been the women, because the men are quite happy to continue as long as they're comfortable. The women get fed up of the situation and make the changes."

Correct

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By *4bimMan
38 weeks ago

Farnborough Hampshire

all rather sad.

you love someone, get married and some how the dream falls apart and can become bitter and unnecessary

sad

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I did with mine but only after putting up with abusive behaviour for years. If i hadnt done we would no doubt still be together

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By *entlemanFoxMan
38 weeks ago

North East / London

I left my toxic marriage, but my ex went to a solicitor first, as I was homeless and getting a roof over my head was a higher priority than doing the divorce paperwork.

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By *rispyDuckMan
38 weeks ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

If I ever get married, we doing an iron clad pre-nap

but unlikely to ever get married. I don’t see the point

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By *aseylee324Couple
38 weeks ago

Valley of Squinting Windows

"Most couples I know it's been the women, because the men are quite happy to continue as long as they're comfortable. The women get fed up of the situation and make the changes."

Yep, myself included.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I can only speak from experience of friends and family. In three cases with friends the husbands have had some kind of break down, so the wives have had to sort it all out, whilst for my two brothers I think their wives couldn't be bothered with divorce, so they just popped their clogs

(Was that too dark?)

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By *loss aka Miss JonesWoman
38 weeks ago

south coast IOW

I instigated both my divorces. My first husband was abusive and the second a serial cheat who got 3 other women pregnant during our marriage. Though he walked out in the end because he said i made him feel inadequate. Once the marriage was over i didnt see the point in staying married.

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By *ags73Man
38 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"I instigated both my divorces. My first husband was abusive and the second a serial cheat who got 3 other women pregnant during our marriage. Though he walked out in the end because he said i made him feel inadequate. Once the marriage was over i didnt see the point in staying married. "

Fair enough on both.

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By *hoirCouple
38 weeks ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Potentially due to anecdotal evidence or own experience sadly. But yes, #NotAllWomen

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By *hagTonight OP Man
38 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

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By *entleman JayMan
38 weeks ago

Wakefield

I’m in the 20%.

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By *uenevereWoman
38 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

No idea but probably not far off.

I initiated my divorce from my ex but my husband also initiated his divorce from his ex.

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By *arl17Man
38 weeks ago

Central Portugal

Everyone is different.. Just know once is enough x

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By *host63Man
38 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

"Absolutely qhi h is why a man should be wary. So many women looking for a retirement fund.

There's a word on the tip of my tongue. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Doesn't make it any the less true. My other interest is partner dancing. And the scene is full of single women who divorced their husbands living on the proceeds looking for their next victim. D

So say what you want

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By *host63Man
38 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Unfortunately there are enough women out there that are exactly like this.

The law does not favour men in divorce. I have worked hard to pay fir my house. If I married and it Did not work out she would be entitled to half my assets despite never lifting a finger to contribute.

Why should any man risk that?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

East Sussex

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Unfortunately there are enough women out there that are exactly like this.

Why should any man risk that?"

Prenup?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
38 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"Absolutely qhi h is why a man should be wary. So many women looking for a retirement fund."

Not as many as there are men who remain unfuckable regardless of wealth.

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By *uri00620Woman
38 weeks ago

Croydon

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Unfortunately there are enough women out there that are exactly like this.

Why should any man risk that?"

Depends how you quantify lifting a finger. When my grandfather's second wife died after him we gave her family half of his assets. She didn't "lift a finger" as you put it but she looked after the house for 16 years and looked after him.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

East Sussex

^^ but why do you assume that any woman you met wouldn't have valuable assets of her own that she'd want to protect?

I have a friend in her mid fifties who owns her own home and is well set up. She lives separately from her long term partner because she doesn't want him to be entitled to any of her assets.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
38 weeks ago

North West

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Unfortunately there are enough women out there that are exactly like this.

Why should any man risk that?"

The law doesn't differentiate on sex or gender. It considers assets and contributions to assets and income. How do you think same sex couples are treated in a divorce situation?

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By *aitonelMan
38 weeks ago

Liverpool

No, men do.

Men just make women think it is their idea

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Women will generally come out better in a divorce.

One of my best friends is looking like loosing half a million quid to a woman who didn't life a finger to earn one penny of it.

I'm not surprised they're happy to instigate, it's another area they're treat differently in.

No wonder its fashionable for men to pretend to be them now.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
38 weeks ago

North West

"Women will generally come out better in a divorce.

One of my best friends is looking like loosing half a million quid to a woman who didn't life a finger to earn one penny of it.

I'm not surprised they're happy to instigate, it's another area they're treat differently in.

No wonder its fashionable for men to pretend to be them now.

So the woman did absolutely nothing whatsoever to contribute to the household when married? Not a sausage? Paid or unpaid?

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"Absolutely qhi h is why a man should be wary. So many women looking for a retirement fund.

There's a word on the tip of my tongue. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Doesn't make it any the less true. My other interest is partner dancing. And the scene is full of single women who divorced their husbands living on the proceeds looking for their next victim. D

So say what you want"

I'm not denying some women do this. But they are usually younger, prettier going for older guys who think with their downstairs brain. Who's the idiot?

And the other ones that initiate divorce are doing so because the guy is cheating or generally been a prick, then they play the innocent woe is me card when the woman has had enough.

And no I haven't taken anything from my ex, I walked away because I just wanted him out my life.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

East Sussex

My mum didn't 'lift a finger' apart from a couple of part time jobs during the entirety of my parents 67 year marriage. Oh apart from raising loads of children, feeding all of us (including my dad), making sure we all had clean clothes (including my dad), keeping the house in as much order as hordes of kids including foster children allowed and leaving my dad free to work for money. If they'd divorced I think she would have deserved half of what they'd jointly worked for. It's just one of them didn't get paid and never got a day off.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
38 weeks ago

North West

"Absolutely qhi h is why a man should be wary. So many women looking for a retirement fund.

There's a word on the tip of my tongue. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Doesn't make it any the less true. My other interest is partner dancing. And the scene is full of single women who divorced their husbands living on the proceeds looking for their next victim. D

So say what you want"

The world is full of men looking for a hole to fill. The beautiful circle of life.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
38 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"Women will generally come out better in a divorce.

One of my best friends is looking like loosing half a million quid to a woman who didn't life a finger to earn one penny of it.

I'm not surprised they're happy to instigate, it's another area they're treat differently in.

No wonder its fashionable for men to pretend to be them now.

I'm with you on this. If you have one friend who said they are going to have to split assets with a woman then it goes without saying that all women are work shy fucking scroungers who just get into short term marriages for financial gain ....

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By *host63Man
38 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Because it happens to be true.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
38 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Because it happens to be true."

No it isn't

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
38 weeks ago

North West

I wanna know about same sex couples and when they un-partner a civil partnership or divorce. Does the family court look at who looks most masculine or feminine and work off that? Do they toss a coin? Roll dice? Or is there some kind of empirical method to decide how to split assets?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

East Sussex

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Because it happens to be true."

For you

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"Women will generally come out better in a divorce.

One of my best friends is looking like loosing half a million quid to a woman who didn't life a finger to earn one penny of it.

I'm not surprised they're happy to instigate, it's another area they're treat differently in.

No wonder its fashionable for men to pretend to be them now.

So the woman did absolutely nothing whatsoever to contribute to the household when married? Not a sausage? Paid or unpaid? "

Very little.

My friend took them to and picked them up all from school 90 percent of the time as he drives. He cooked most of the meals, gave them pocket money, provided everything they needed.

She basically tidied the house while he worked his arse off say and night at home and in the business.

It shows though, ever their three daughters think she's a disgusting cunt.

He's having to sell the family home where they raised their kids because she wants half of everything, she couldn't even leave them a house to live in because of her fucking greed.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
38 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"Women will generally come out better in a divorce.

One of my best friends is looking like loosing half a million quid to a woman who didn't life a finger to earn one penny of it.

I'm not surprised they're happy to instigate, it's another area they're treat differently in.

No wonder its fashionable for men to pretend to be them now.

So the woman did absolutely nothing whatsoever to contribute to the household when married? Not a sausage? Paid or unpaid?

Very little.

My friend took them to and picked them up all from school 90 percent of the time as he drives. He cooked most of the meals, gave them pocket money, provided everything they needed.

She basically tidied the house while he worked his arse off say and night at home and in the business.

It shows though, ever their three daughters think she's a disgusting cunt.

He's having to sell the family home where they raised their kids because she wants half of everything, she couldn't even leave them a house to live in because of her fucking greed.

Is 'she' their mother?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
38 weeks ago

North West

No-one has yet explained to me what happens in same sex divorces. Do men get everything? How does that work for gay men? Do the assets of same sex women just spontaneously combust or are they donated to the nearest needy man? I'm confused.

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By *aitonelMan
38 weeks ago

Liverpool

"No-one has yet explained to me what happens in same sex divorces. Do men get everything? How does that work for gay men? Do the assets of same sex women just spontaneously combust or are they donated to the nearest needy man? I'm confused."

Rock paper scissors

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"Women will generally come out better in a divorce.

One of my best friends is looking like loosing half a million quid to a woman who didn't life a finger to earn one penny of it.

I'm not surprised they're happy to instigate, it's another area they're treat differently in.

No wonder its fashionable for men to pretend to be them now.

So the woman did absolutely nothing whatsoever to contribute to the household when married? Not a sausage? Paid or unpaid?

Very little.

My friend took them to and picked them up all from school 90 percent of the time as he drives. He cooked most of the meals, gave them pocket money, provided everything they needed.

She basically tidied the house while he worked his arse off say and night at home and in the business.

It shows though, ever their three daughters think she's a disgusting cunt.

He's having to sell the family home where they raised their kids because she wants half of everything, she couldn't even leave them a house to live in because of her fucking greed.

Is 'she' their mother?"

Yes.

Why the quotations around the word she?

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"Women will generally come out better in a divorce.

One of my best friends is looking like loosing half a million quid to a woman who didn't life a finger to earn one penny of it.

I'm not surprised they're happy to instigate, it's another area they're treat differently in.

No wonder its fashionable for men to pretend to be them now.

So the woman did absolutely nothing whatsoever to contribute to the household when married? Not a sausage? Paid or unpaid?

Very little.

My friend took them to and picked them up all from school 90 percent of the time as he drives. He cooked most of the meals, gave them pocket money, provided everything they needed.

She basically tidied the house while he worked his arse off say and night at home and in the business.

It shows though, ever their three daughters think she's a disgusting cunt.

He's having to sell the family home where they raised their kids because she wants half of everything, she couldn't even leave them a house to live in because of her fucking greed.

Is 'she' their mother?

Yes.

Why the quotations around the word she? "

She is though yes

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By *2000ManMan
38 weeks ago

Worthing

Having worked in various offices and seen friends/family relationships fail, a lot of women are easily bored and difficult to keep happy. Not all though I am pleased to say!

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
38 weeks ago

Sunderland

How about in relationships that end because one party fakes their own death, travels to a new location, assumes a new identity and lives a quiet unassuming life as a construction worker?

In those cases I would estimate its 80% male.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
38 weeks ago

barnstaple

I initiated our separation and divorce, it was so difficult, I would not live with or marry anybody again. I learned alot and took time to heal. I had full responsibility for our children, he dipped in and out of parenting preferring to have zero responsibility for them. He thankfully paid maintenance only because in the end I explained I would contact his work (he was in the police). I managed to get our house by negotiating with him. He's gone on to live with two other unfortunate women, the first ended up heartbroken as he walked out on her because she wanted marraige and children. I always had a career and would not compromise on what I needed. I'm happy living alone, I own my house and work, my life is good and far far better than when I lived with anyone.

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By *eronicaExplorerWoman
38 weeks ago

London

"Absolutely qhi h is why a man should be wary. So many women looking for a retirement fund.

There's a word on the tip of my tongue. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Doesn't make it any the less true. My other interest is partner dancing. And the scene is full of single women who divorced their husbands living on the proceeds looking for their next victim. D

So say what you want"

I can assure you, there are so many more mothers raising children alone without father support than men being “victims” of gold diggers in the world.

This is a rich nation, but the chauvinism I have found here is not so different from the one I have seen in undeveloped countries. Is still a men's world.

I have never blocked anybody for his opinion but I'm so tempted now. My apologies.

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By *host63Man
38 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Because it happens to be true.

No it isn't"

And your reasons for that are.

The courts favour women it's a far greater risk for the man. He loses financially, emotionally.

I know alit of women who have

Cheated on their Husband dumped him and having had half the house and a nice retirement fund or if kids are involved keep the house and he still has to pay her.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
38 weeks ago

barnstaple

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Because it happens to be true.

No it isn't

And your reasons for that are.

The courts favour women it's a far greater risk for the man. He loses financially, emotionally.

I know alit of women who have

Cheated on their Husband dumped him and having had half the house and a nice retirement fund or if kids are involved keep the house and he still has to pay her.

It used to be 15% of his known income for one child and 20% for two or more, it may have changed. He is not paying for her but the children. In my experience many men believe all the assets/possessions are theirs whilst the children's welfare and that responsibility is not.

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By *eronicaExplorerWoman
38 weeks ago

London

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Because it happens to be true.

No it isn't

And your reasons for that are.

The courts favour women it's a far greater risk for the man. He loses financially, emotionally.

I know alit of women who have

Cheated on their Husband dumped him and having had half the house and a nice retirement fund or if kids are involved keep the house and he still has to pay her.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

They do and also women initiate most of the break ups as well

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By *host63Man
38 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Because it happens to be true.

No it isn't

And your reasons for that are.

The courts favour women it's a far greater risk for the man. He loses financially, emotionally.

I know alit of women who have

Cheated on their Husband dumped him and having had half the house and a nice retirement fund or if kids are involved keep the house and he still has to pay her.

I have finally paid for my own home after years of struggling.

If I were to get married now and it ended in divorce I would have to give her half of my assets so losing my home with no prospect of starting over.

She on the other hand gets a nice fat paycheck and moves to the next victim. See it all the time at dancing.

There is one who is so notorious for this she is called rentaboob.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
38 weeks ago

barnstaple

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Because it happens to be true.

No it isn't

And your reasons for that are.

The courts favour women it's a far greater risk for the man. He loses financially, emotionally.

I know alit of women who have

Cheated on their Husband dumped him and having had half the house and a nice retirement fund or if kids are involved keep the house and he still has to pay her.

I have finally paid for my own home after years of struggling.

If I were to get married now and it ended in divorce I would have to give her half of my assets so losing my home with no prospect of starting over.

She on the other hand gets a nice fat paycheck and moves to the next victim. See it all the time at dancing.

There is one who is so notorious for this she is called rentaboob.

Same for me, I own my house. Don't get married or live with someone - that's my plan. Not all women have nothing, and I certainly wouldn't move in with or have someone move in with me.

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By *ir SupremacyMan
38 weeks ago

Bolton

Marriage is a big risk these days...I don't think I could bring myself to do it as I'm quite comfortable and I virtually now own my own home ,but I live alone.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

East Sussex

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Because it happens to be true.

No it isn't

And your reasons for that are.

The courts favour women it's a far greater risk for the man. He loses financially, emotionally.

I know alit of women who have

Cheated on their Husband dumped him and having had half the house and a nice retirement fund or if kids are involved keep the house and he still has to pay her.

I have finally paid for my own home after years of struggling.

If I were to get married now and it ended in divorce I would have to give her half of my assets so losing my home with no prospect of starting over.

She on the other hand gets a nice fat paycheck and moves to the next victim. See it all the time at dancing.

There is one who is so notorious for this she is called rentaboob.

What I see all the time is men having children with women then leaving. These guys then change jobs to earn as little as possible while often doing cash in hand on the side, thereby paying little or nothing towards their own children. They rarely see the kids often preferring to spend time with their new family or girlfriend and refer to the time they spend with their actual children as 'babysitting'. They frequently complain to their mates down the pub that their ex is spending money having her nails done.

Once their kids are old enough to buy them a pint but don't actually want to see them they are horrified and just can't understand why.

I don't believe these people represent all men though

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
38 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Because it happens to be true.

No it isn't

And your reasons for that are.

The courts favour women it's a far greater risk for the man. He loses financially, emotionally.

I know alit of women who have

Cheated on their Husband dumped him and having had half the house and a nice retirement fund or if kids are involved keep the house and he still has to pay her.

I have finally paid for my own home after years of struggling.

If I were to get married now and it ended in divorce I would have to give her half of my assets so losing my home with no prospect of starting over.

She on the other hand gets a nice fat paycheck and moves to the next victim. See it all the time at dancing.

There is one who is so notorious for this she is called rentaboob.

1. Big Deal. Lucky You.

2. You won't get married now you are too hung up on hate.

3. It WOULD without doubt end in divorce

4. She might be wealthier than you and you'd gain not lose

5. You can have an agreement where you only leave with what you came in with financially.

6. It's not a paycheck and seeing that way feeds into your bitterness and fear

7. She might find a reasonable loving man and that does not make him a victim.

8. Must be a SHITTY lot of dancers you mix with if ALL the time people are divorcing and taking each other for money.

9. Rentaboob ? The people at dancing are nothing but nasty gossips worse than the Harper Valley P.T.A. I'd HATE to be in that group.

10. If Rentaboob is notorious for it then everyone else is a fucking idiot.

I think you make all this up for a laugh

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
38 weeks ago

North West

I'm the female half. Our first "joint" property was one I bought, myself, in my own right but as soon as it was clear we would be marrying and were a long term committed couple, it went into joint names. He took parental responsibility in law for my son (his father was completely absent and did not offer a solitary penny in maintenance, even with the CSA involved).

Since then, we've owned a house for over 15yrs that appreciated in value and we used the proceeds of that, plus some money inherited from MY Grandad, to buy our current bungalow. We have an absolutely enormous mortgage, which we can only afford due to MY salary, which is about £20k per annum more than Mr KC's.

Our main assets have been originally funded entirely by me. Our current asset is only affordable because of my salary.

But do you know how often we discuss who got us started? Who's money does this or that? Never. All our finances are joint and have been since we made that originally property joint. We only have one joint account. Neither of us have separated funds. I clearly contribute the most financially and always have.

Would the men railing against the System please come and tell me what would happen if Mr KC and me divorced?! Go on. I'm all ears

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
38 weeks ago

Coventry

I initiated mine. However it wasn't my first port of call, I did fight to save the marriage and to keep the family together. I could work past her cheating as long as she was willing to work too. But tolerance and patience can only be to a certain point until the boundaries had been abused so much and they must stand. Especially with little indication (in terms of actions, not words) she was loking to change. She was great at gaslighting and its always everone else's fault.

So I initiated it and she moved away. Left me literally holding the baby (my youngest was 6 months old). Being a single parent was an adjustment to say the least. But I stand by my decision and with hindsight it was a very wise course of action despite what a painful decision it was to make.

And as time goes by life has really worked out well for me. I met My Girl (Mrs Misfit) and she is my best everything. Sometimes you have to taste the difference to realise you don't alway get things right first time. Sometimes the best relationships are those that are a culmination of the lessons learned and life experience of the two individuals in it.

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By *ansoffateMan
38 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Because it happens to be true.

No it isn't

And your reasons for that are.

The courts favour women it's a far greater risk for the man. He loses financially, emotionally.

I know alit of women who have

Cheated on their Husband dumped him and having had half the house and a nice retirement fund or if kids are involved keep the house and he still has to pay her.

I have finally paid for my own home after years of struggling.

If I were to get married now and it ended in divorce I would have to give her half of my assets so losing my home with no prospect of starting over.

She on the other hand gets a nice fat paycheck and moves to the next victim. See it all the time at dancing.

There is one who is so notorious for this she is called rentaboob.

Once their kids are old enough to buy them a pint but don't actually want to see them they are horrified and just can't understand why.

I don't believe these people represent all men though "

It's a common story, I've seen men boast about it and I've seen it happen to a close friend and a girlfriend many years ago. In some workplaces their bosses will assist them by employing them cash in hand or self-employed and they cook the books. In other instances those that do pay child-support voluntarily will also use it as coercion and attempt to block or sabotage their former partner's new relationships.

Is it all men, no of course not. I can give you examples of really good guys who have been shit on from a great height and it has destroyed them, especially when. separated from their kids.

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By *irthandgirthMan
38 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

Asking who initiated the divorce is the wrong question. There are 2 questions I feel that are more important and nuanced.

What behaviours led to the initiation of the divorce.

Assuming it's not a traumatic event (affair/ab*se) and the relationship isn't perfect on both sides.. who was it who hit the fuck it level first.

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By *oneyBee200Woman
38 weeks ago

Kent

"I initiated mine. Ex although deep down knew we weren't working would have carried on.

Some not all men don't cope well on there own so it's an easier option rather than starting over. I've had a few guys say that to me.

I a. Often asked by these women how I manage as well as I do.

But I don't think I am unique there are a lot of men like me and we become accustomed and cope being alone. Women are more social and unless they have a large circle of friends really suffer."

I find it's the other way round. I have many male friends that jump from one relationship to the next.

I have coped very well the past twenty years on my own, independence has been the best thing after a very controlling ex husband.

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By *host63Man
37 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Because it happens to be true.

No it isn't

And your reasons for that are.

The courts favour women it's a far greater risk for the man. He loses financially, emotionally.

I know alit of women who have

Cheated on their Husband dumped him and having had half the house and a nice retirement fund or if kids are involved keep the house and he still has to pay her.

I have finally paid for my own home after years of struggling.

If I were to get married now and it ended in divorce I would have to give her half of my assets so losing my home with no prospect of starting over.

She on the other hand gets a nice fat paycheck and moves to the next victim. See it all the time at dancing.

There is one who is so notorious for this she is called rentaboob.

1. Big Deal. Lucky You.

2. You won't get married now you are too hung up on hate.

3. It WOULD without doubt end in divorce

4. She might be wealthier than you and you'd gain not lose

5. You can have an agreement where you only leave with what you came in with financially.

6. It's not a paycheck and seeing that way feeds into your bitterness and fear

7. She might find a reasonable loving man and that does not make him a victim.

8. Must be a SHITTY lot of dancers you mix with if ALL the time people are divorcing and taking each other for money.

9. Rentaboob ? The people at dancing are nothing but nasty gossips worse than the Harper Valley P.T.A. I'd HATE to be in that group.

10. If Rentaboob is notorious for it then everyone else is a fucking idiot.

I think you make all this up for a laugh

Bitter? Not at all just a realistic.

At my age I have no desire to get married

And the reason your hate filled answer is typical of women who can't handle the bad side of women I suspect you have behaved like this otherwise why so defensive?

Dancers are like everyone else in life you see this side more in the open its harder to hide in a small group.

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By (user no longer on site)
37 weeks ago

I left my husband after checking out mentally... He instigated divorce proceedings after a couple of years

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By *ealArtfulDodgerMan
37 weeks ago

Newcastle

Never married nor never engaged either so couldn't offer my 2 cents worth..?

Yet a great topic for Fab all the same..

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By *arley QuimWoman
37 weeks ago

Somewhere

"I didn't realise so many men on here thought women were just gold diggers looking to take anything they could from a relationship breakdown

We don't all walk away leaving the man destitute

Because it happens to be true.

No it isn't

And your reasons for that are.

The courts favour women it's a far greater risk for the man. He loses financially, emotionally.

I know alit of women who have

Cheated on their Husband dumped him and having had half the house and a nice retirement fund or if kids are involved keep the house and he still has to pay her.

I have finally paid for my own home after years of struggling.

If I were to get married now and it ended in divorce I would have to give her half of my assets so losing my home with no prospect of starting over.

She on the other hand gets a nice fat paycheck and moves to the next victim. See it all the time at dancing.

There is one who is so notorious for this she is called rentaboob.

1. Big Deal. Lucky You.

2. You won't get married now you are too hung up on hate.

3. It WOULD without doubt end in divorce

4. She might be wealthier than you and you'd gain not lose

5. You can have an agreement where you only leave with what you came in with financially.

6. It's not a paycheck and seeing that way feeds into your bitterness and fear

7. She might find a reasonable loving man and that does not make him a victim.

8. Must be a SHITTY lot of dancers you mix with if ALL the time people are divorcing and taking each other for money.

9. Rentaboob ? The people at dancing are nothing but nasty gossips worse than the Harper Valley P.T.A. I'd HATE to be in that group.

10. If Rentaboob is notorious for it then everyone else is a fucking idiot.

I think you make all this up for a laugh

Bitter? Not at all just a realistic.

At my age I have no desire to get married

And the reason your hate filled answer is typical of women who can't handle the bad side of women I suspect you have behaved like this otherwise why so defensive?

Dancers are like everyone else in life you see this side more in the open its harder to hide in a small group.

I mean not disrespectfully, but you're quite old now. The law tends to be more balanced these days due to a lot more 50/50 in regards to children and shared property being split equally now. Long gone are the days of 'mother needs to stay at home with the kids'. Because chances are mum has been working as many hours, or possibly more than dad and both equally paying childcare costs. It's not 1965, and times have vastly moved on. Shock horror even to the point that some men get a 'better' divorce settlement than women these days

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
37 weeks ago

Coventry

In my own personal experience custody of the children make a big difference in divorce. For me a 50/50 split was not possible because she moved a long distance away. So I was left with the kids, a baby and a 4 year old at the time (she see them many weekends and holidays).

I had always been by far the primary bread winner. Paid all the bills and mortgages. Because I had become the primary carer the courts allowed me to keep our home and my pensions (Forces pension and current) untouched. However I still had to pay out and find a huge lump sum cash and agree not to pursue her for any child maintenance. Which on ballance of everything seemed fair (because I do believe divorces should be fair). However I believe there was was a certain level of initial bias from the judge. It was like her default reaction was that this guy must be doing his ex wife over and his ex needs more. She refused the clean break order at first asking for more clarification. My solicitor had to explain in great detail how it was fair because I was shouldering all the costs of the children and not pursuing my ex for anything, even child maintenance and still paying her out a large cash sum. The judge agree in the end but it definitely felt like her default reaction was that the female should get a far bigger slice. Although I believe a big part of that was the judge not initially getting to grips with the unusual situation of the guy being the primary parent.

Anyway if things had been different and my ex stayed around and 50/50 or more of the kids (as more normal) it's clear my future could have taken a great hit. I think I would have lost my house which I love and is a great family home. And I would have lost a good chunk of my pensions. Now these are particularly bad times to be starting on the property ladder again. So I may have just ended up in a rental cycle. Not great when owning your house mortgage free is part of your retirement plan. Also when you are older having your pension pot depleted may mean you have to work longer and make retirement difficult or even retirement poverty. So I get why people are upset that their divorce as seriously damaged their future prospects and outlook, yet at the same time their ex has as a result gained from the situation in their long term future (especially depending on the reason for divorce). Because that would have been a very hard pill to swallow.

However as a single parent the kids need to be priority. They are very hard work (how to you put a cash value on that labour) and cost a fortune. And of course they need a stable roof over their head. So kids make divorce extra complex.

Just to make clear because of the way of the world its mainly men who face this but it can also be womens effected too. It depends purely on the individual circumstances. However as I found in my own experience I fell there sometimes is a little unofficial bias in some individual judges.

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