FabSwingers.com forum: Not single, unfulfilled sex life at home. Am I a bad person?

By (user no longer on site) OP
35 weeks ago

Im in a very loving relationship and do not want to end it but the sex is not totally fulfilling as there are things I like to do such as face fucking and anal which they do not like. This has led me to look for meets on here but feel bad too

What should I do?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
35 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"What should I do? "

Be a better partner or embrace being single

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By (user no longer on site) OP
35 weeks ago

If the second was as easy as just ending it then I would consider that but there is family too which makes that harder

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
35 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"If the second was as easy as just ending it then I would consider that but there is family too which makes that harder "

Then you know what you should do

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By *orphia2003Woman
35 weeks ago

Tonypandy.

So dedicate yourself to your family then. Sometimes you can't have your cake and eat it.

It's about compromise.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
35 weeks ago

"If the second was as easy as just ending it then I would consider that but there is family too which makes that harder

Then you know what you should do

Thanks for the help

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By (user no longer on site) OP
35 weeks ago

Just have to quash my naughtiness with playing with myself to those kinks via videos haha

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By *ickD80Man
35 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

If you’re risking losing your wife just to face fuck and do anal then you can’t love her very much.

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By *aygallaMan
35 weeks ago

newton aycliffe

I hope you don’t mind me asking but how long ha e you been together probably married?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
35 weeks ago

"If you’re risking losing your wife just to face fuck and do anal then you can’t love her very much. "

Is more than just that they were some examples

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By (user no longer on site) OP
35 weeks ago

"I hope you don’t mind me asking but how long ha e you been together probably married?"

5 years and things were different at first but been like this for a while

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By *aygallaMan
35 weeks ago

newton aycliffe

"If you’re risking losing your wife just to face fuck and do anal then you can’t love her very much. "

Hell yes! Give your head a shake mate

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By *hirleyMan
35 weeks ago

somewhere

Why be with someone if you're going to complain about it on a sex site? You only get one chance and if something bugs you, you got to hit it on the head and do you.

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By *oubleswing2019Man
35 weeks ago

Colchester

"Im in a very loving relationship and do not want to end it but the sex is not totally fulfilling as there are things I like to do such as face fucking and anal which they do not like. This has led me to look for meets on here but feel bad too

What should I do? "

Of course you'd feed bad, especially if there is an element of deception involved. No judgement.

Speak to your partner. Reassure them that you have no drive or motive to find another "romantic" partner. This is purely sex acts which are meaningful and fulfilling to you, but not to them.

A compromise is sought when both parties get what they desire. And neither party has to lose out either. Them...not to do the sex acts, and you to do the sex acts.

This veers in to polysexual territory, and The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy covers all the angles in such arrangements where one or both partners seek to obtain fulfilment outside a traditional family arrangement (The book covers everything from how to talk to your partner, how to allay their fears, and how to conduct such an arrangement ethically and equitably.)

Be prepared for challenging conversations, but ultimately with a partner who understands and supports such an arrangement, it can work well.

It's not easy, but it is achievable.

Once things are open and transparent, there is no need for guilt or deception. It's just another dimension, that's all.

But it does need maintenance and review, and checking in with your partner and their emotions...regularly.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
35 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

Don’t listen to any of them OP, life’s too short, get out there and fill yer boots, and then go home and be the perfect partner, who says you can’t have your cake and eat it.

Actually never understood that saying, what the fucks the point in having cake if you can’t eat it, anyway, best of luck OP.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
35 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"...It's not easy, but it is achievable..."

It is however very reliant on all parties being accepting of poly dynamics.

I'm happily poly. I think it's fucking brilliant. But the majority of people align strongly with monogamy. And I can't be with those people with any amount of transparency or honesty. Because one of us would have to heavily compromise to allow the other the relationship structure that works for them.

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By *ansoffateMan
35 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Can you talk to your partner about the issue?

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

"Don’t listen to any of them OP, life’s too short, get out there and fill yer boots, and then go home and be the perfect partner, who says you can’t have your cake and eat it.

Actually never understood that saying, what the fucks the point in having cake if you can’t eat it, anyway, best of luck OP. "

Interesting response. Agree on the cake and eating it, but could not tell if you were being ironic or deliberately controversial with the rest of the response.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
35 weeks ago

I have brought it up with some false promise for some things then never happen and if I bring it up just gets shut down

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
35 weeks ago

East Sussex

What should I do? "

Firstly you are not in a very loving relationship, you're kidding yourself about that.

Secondly I don't know what you should do, only you can decide that. You might consider how your partner would feel if she saw your profile and pictures, read what you've written here and what the consequences of that might be

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By *unchalMan
35 weeks ago

Dartford

They are a funny lot on here. Do want you like because you are going to do it anyway regardless of what a bunch of strangers say to you.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
35 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

"I have brought it up with some false promise for some things then never happen and if I bring it up just gets shut down "

Express your needs clearly, discuss what the options are and how to ensure you don't just fall back into the same old rut.

If you're sticking around for the kids do you really want to teach them that neglecting the needs of or cheating on their future partner is perfectly acceptable?

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By *oubleswing2019Man
35 weeks ago

Colchester

"...It's not easy, but it is achievable...

It is however very reliant on all parties being accepting of poly dynamics.

Wise words and yes, I agree it is very reliant and underpinned by everyone being completely on board.

And yes, it is fucking brilliant. Or should that be "brilliant fucking ?

It's very clear to me from your profile that you march to the beat of your own drum, and it's one of the things I admire strongly about you.

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By *arley QuimWoman
35 weeks ago

Somewhere

Life is full of compromise. We can't all have everything all of the time OP

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By *ags73Man
35 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Life is full of compromise. We can't all have everything all of the time OP"

Yep, thats how I rationalised it

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
35 weeks ago

Leeds

What should I do? "

Grow a backbone, and stop deceiving the person you’re supposed to love.

The mr

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By *rHotNottsMan
35 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

What should I do? "

Just fix it. You don’t know what’s possible until you have the courage to try. leaving would hbe last resort, cheating wouldn’t even be an option

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By *iddle ManMan
35 weeks ago

Walsall

What should I do? "

Women that enjoy anal and a good face fucking are a rare breed, be careful what you wish for. Not like your going to end your relationship and find one straight away.

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By *TG3Man
35 weeks ago

Dorchester

What should I do? "
You've got to weigh up is sex worth losing your wife and family, also many won't entertain you because you're cheating but many will because of the fact you have a partner to go home to

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By *irthandgirthMan
35 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

I would like to ask if you were always into these things and if so did you communicate it to your partner? They obviously weren't a huge obstacle as you got into the relationship.

I believe there are a couple of things to weigh up.

Firstly, does the need to scratch that itch outweigh losing your relationship and possibly access to your kids if/when you get found out cheating?

Secondly, would your partner be open to you stepping outside your marriage for this? I am assuming she knows nothing of this lifestyle.

Thirdly, not only are the number of ladies on here into those acts relatively rare - especially taking into account location, filters and mutual attraction - but if you are open about your relationship status many won't go near you, and if you lie and your new partner finds out, expect and prepare for wrath and fury - and back to point 1 regarding losing your relationship.

The final option is obviously to leave your partner and pursue those acts guilt free as a single person.

Ultimately you will do what you are going to do anyway. As long as you accept that your actions have consequences.

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By *AYENCouple
35 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

What should I do? "

You'd end a "very loving relationship" for five minutes of anal and face fucking!!

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
35 weeks ago

Cumbria

"Just have to quash my naughtiness with playing with myself to those kinks via videos haha"

Yes, start by deleting your fab account so you aren’t tempted.

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
35 weeks ago

Sheffield

I think it’s a pretty selfish approach. How would she feel if she found out you was on fab cheating?

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
35 weeks ago

somewhere

First and only question is: are you still having sex with your partner? Nothing "kinky" just normal sex?

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By *arry n OopsCouple
35 weeks ago

horsham

Talk to your Explain how you feel get her feedback. And go fron there. If shes happy to let you fulfill your needs with no consequences… great. But if not i think you both have a tough decision to make. Boils down to love. Love is sacred. Facefuvking and anal aint. Good luck hope you guys work it out

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By *rivextrMan
35 weeks ago

Glasgow

What should I do?

You'd end a "very loving relationship" for five minutes of anal and face fucking!! "

Decisions decisions…. sounds like no brainer to me

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By *iaandjamesCouple
35 weeks ago

So has the sex gotten stale over the years, or was it never to your satisfaction to begin with?

If it's gotten stale, then I can get the frustration, but talking to your partner first and explaining things should be the first position.

If the sex has never been great, then it's your own fault for committing with such a huge caveat.

Me and Mia have always agreed that we would continue being non-monogomous if one of us went off sex, unless it was for medical (and similar fustifiable) reasons. But adventurous sex is vital to us both.

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By *eronicaExplorerWoman
35 weeks ago

London

Oh my God. The Fabswinger Holy Inquisition

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By *irthandgirthMan
35 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Oh my God. The Fabswinger Holy Inquisition

He has asked a question on a public forum, and it just seems that the majority of people have a slightly more objective view and have some consideration for the OPs partner.

Did you expect an outpouring of support for a 'Woe is me, my wife doesn't like sex acts she finds distasteful, I need to cheat' post?

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By *TG3Man
35 weeks ago

Dorchester

"Oh my God. The Fabswinger Holy Inquisition

"
lol

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

"Oh my God. The Fabswinger Holy Inquisition

He has asked a question on a public forum, and it just seems that the majority of people have a slightly more objective view and have some consideration for the OPs partner.

Did you expect an outpouring of support for a 'Woe is me, my wife doesn't like sex acts she finds distasteful, I need to cheat' post? "

If the op was female then yeah.

Fab at it's finest.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
35 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Oh... OP has gone UNLOS

maybe he's actually thinking about his life choices.

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By *irthandgirthMan
35 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Oh... OP has gone UNLOS

maybe he's actually thinking about his life choices."

Do you really think that or are you just being optimistic?

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By *irthandgirthMan
35 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"Oh my God. The Fabswinger Holy Inquisition

He has asked a question on a public forum, and it just seems that the majority of people have a slightly more objective view and have some consideration for the OPs partner.

Did you expect an outpouring of support for a 'Woe is me, my wife doesn't like sex acts she finds distasteful, I need to cheat' post?

If the op was female then yeah.

Fab at it's finest. "

#whiteknightsyndrome

#slaykween

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
35 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

The first thing you should do is learn how to adult and make your own decisions face fuck or dont,

Entirely your choice.

Just remember there are NO such things as the wrong choice....

Just dont bitch about the consequences

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By *urry BlokeMan
35 weeks ago

Stalybridge

Brings a whole new dimension to "with this ring, I thee wed"

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By *illy IdolMan
35 weeks ago

Midlands

Mods, mods! There's nitpicking going on up there ^^^

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By *ot to giggleWoman
35 weeks ago

Coventry

wow - was this a post in how to blow up your FAB profile completely??

why would you post in here if your cheating correctly

no wonder he left

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