FabSwingers.com forum: What is the worst thing you could say to a lift full of people

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you hear that snapping sound?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“ im sorry Shaun……………………….”

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Sorry but I had a really hot curry for lunch.

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By *andyandmickCouple
over a year ago

chilwell

Last time I was in here got stuck for 6 days

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I picked the wrong day to eat lentils.

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By *till gameMan
over a year ago

Oldham

“ is anyone else on the cabbage soup diet “

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What’s that smell.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Swanage

Going down rapidly

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By *icky KlungespeareMan
over a year ago

St Leonards

Allahu Akbar.

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By *till gameMan
over a year ago

Oldham

"Allahu Akbar."

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By *till gameMan
over a year ago

Oldham

"Allahu Akbar.

Does my bomb look big in this ?

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"“ is anyone else on the cabbage soup diet “"

Apologies I didn't mean to steal your thunder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Pop quiz hotshot….”

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

London

“I want to play a game.”

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By *till gameMan
over a year ago

Oldham

"“ is anyone else on the cabbage soup diet “

Apologies I didn't mean to steal your thunder."

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

During the war...

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By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri

"You! You're first" as I start to undress myself

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

always seem to get a power cut this time of day

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By *till gameMan
over a year ago

Oldham

""You! You're first" as I start to undress myself

Hope you were looking at me

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

""You! You're first" as I start to undress myself

"
..

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Oh god, I've got to change my Depends

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By *heelerMan
over a year ago

Northants

Room for a little one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oops that one felt a bit less gas, and a touch more liquid.

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By *oveToPlay.Couple
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Can I smell you

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By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri

'Ground floor perfumery,

stationery and leather goods,

wigs and haberdashery

kitchenware and food...going up'

Only 1 other person would laugh and the rest of the lift would wonder what is wrong with these 2 old people , what are they talking about.

I'm old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did anyone watch the Towering Inferno last night

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

"'Ground floor perfumery,

stationery and leather goods,

wigs and haberdashery

kitchenware and food...going up'

Only 1 other person would laugh and the rest of the lift would wonder what is wrong with these 2 old people , what are they talking about.

I'm old

I could hear the tills and the tune as I read it.

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By *eepBlueSeaMan
over a year ago

somewhere north east

[Removed by poster at 24/05/24 14:51:08]

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By *eepBlueSeaMan
over a year ago

somewhere north east

Nobody minds if I cut my toe nails do they?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

Hmmmmmm ........ the plaque says , 42 stone limit so even if you are alone it won't shift .

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By *till gameMan
over a year ago

Oldham

"'Ground floor perfumery,

stationery and leather goods,

wigs and haberdashery

kitchenware and food...going up'

Only 1 other person would laugh and the rest of the lift would wonder what is wrong with these 2 old people , what are they talking about.

I'm old

Especially if you asked if anyone had seen mrs slocomes pussy

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By *nitterWoman
over a year ago

the land of tall tales and yarn

I just burst into song when I'm in a lift, freaks most people out but I love the ones that join in

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Pull my finger.

The mr

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By *rucking-HellMan
over a year ago

Northampton

ALLAHU AKBAR!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you hear about Tower one?

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By *estman for the jobMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Oh no I think I'm going to puke ??

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By *our TV fantasyTV/TS
over a year ago

Waterloo, Liverpool

I do this very occasionally. If you are stepping into a busy lift just don't turn back round to face the doors. Just stare at everyone else.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

I never knew there would be so much blood in the man.

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By *cLovin2Man
over a year ago

West Drayton

I've been holding in this fart for the whole meeting for 3 hours, now I'm letting rip, oh god it feels like a tornado coming out, oh god!

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Swanage

"I just burst into song when I'm in a lift, freaks most people out but I love the ones that join in"
i chat to people or ask them which floor they want

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By *ambertMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

GO AWAY! `BAITIN

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
over a year ago

The bottom of the River Ankh

Start mentioning the tensile strengths of the cables holding it

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By *oozleMan
over a year ago

high wycombe

The last lift I was in, nobody survived!, want to help me make this my second

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"guy's look I don't want to concern anyone but this little plaque says max load 4 person's or350kgs, there's ten of us in here and me and my mate weigh 110kgs each.

So unless you lot are alot lighter than you look we are fucked"

Twang!

"IM I THE ONLY ONE WHO HEARD THAT,HELLLLLPPPPPP WE ARE ALLL GOING TO DIE GET ME OUT,GET ME OUT........"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's true you do get to live out your death over and over .......

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By *rBobbMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

I wonder if that spare part they were waiting for turned up.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

[Removed by poster at 24/05/24 16:56:47]

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Hope it's not like the lift scene in Omen II.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

How are we going up to the 13th floor?

This building only has 1 floor

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By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri

As you lift doors close , SCREAM, and don't stop until the doors reopen,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""You! You're first" as I start to undress myself

That is 100% not the worst thing you could say

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Swanage

I have irritable bowl syndrome

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Are you on Fab?

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By *coobyABCMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Egg sandwich anyone? Then open the tub

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By *aulhornyladMan
over a year ago

Sunderland

Allah akbah

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I can't help thinking about Marvin the manic depressed Robot in hitchhiker's.

That's me in a lift.

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By *BWLOVER1965Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

More do then say went to coarse in London coming back from Holborn some dirty git farted was absolutely disgusting pushed him and his backpack away from me and this woman absolutely horrific

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By *agatoXXXMan
over a year ago

742 Evergreen Terrace

"Who wants to pull my finger?"

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

I had a visibly very pregnant colleague who was a great friend and in a crowded lift in a ‘loud’ whisper so that everyone could hear I said “when are you going to tell your husband it’s mine?”.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

"Allah akbah"

…Whilst wearing a rucksack and holding up a switch with wires running into your sleeve?

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By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place

Oops I've followed through

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

*takes pants off*

“Right then, who’s going down?”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Can you spare some change please?”

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By *iaisonseekerMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Still waiting for my reinforced rubber underwear to arrive."

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By *oweliktrMan
over a year ago

Swindon

-Cough-It’s not contagious I promise-cough cough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I have a machine gun, ho ho ho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Sorry folks, this lift is out of order. Please use the stairs, sorry for the inconvenience, thanks for your cooperation”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyyyyy seconnndddd nowwwww…

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By *ot to giggleWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

"'Ground floor perfumery,

stationery and leather goods,

wigs and haberdashery

kitchenware and food...going up'

Only 1 other person would laugh and the rest of the lift would wonder what is wrong with these 2 old people , what are they talking about.

I'm old

I could hear the tills and the tune as I read it.

^^^^^^^^^ hahaha same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry about that fart I always get nervous when I'm erect

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By *aygallaMan
over a year ago

newton aycliffe

Your floor or mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My uncle Bin Laden once said ___

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have you accepted our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, into your life?"

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By *cLovin2Man
over a year ago

West Drayton

""Have you accepted our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, into your life?""

No but I'm interested in the phone number of Maria Magdalena

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By *issLickalottapusWoman
over a year ago

La La Land

I think I'm going to be sick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus Bob……what button did you push?

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By *aizyWoman
over a year ago

west midlands

Hello

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fancy a bum?

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By *rBobbMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

"Jesus Bob……what button did you push? "

It wasn't me. I didn't push anything

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello"

You win the internet today.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

"I think you'll find that one was silent but deadly."

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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire and London

""Have you accepted our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, into your life?""

That stuff used to embarrass me even when I espoused some sort of faith...

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By *ingu and The ApeCouple
over a year ago

The Igloo

Anyone ever watch any of the Final destination films?

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Swanage

[Removed by poster at 31/05/24 14:05:42]

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Swanage

It wasn't me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To cough then say don’t worry I don’t think it’s contagious

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By *aulhornyladMan
over a year ago

Sunderland

Alah akbar

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By *uckingFutzMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

Pardon me, I farted!

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By *hortishblondeWoman
over a year ago

Essex

Have you watched that film you know the one where they all die in the lift

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
over a year ago

Warwick and Coventry

We've got at least 10 mins of Air left..

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By *allandathleticMan
over a year ago

Asgard

I've lost my boomslang snake.

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By *rucking-HellMan
over a year ago

Northampton

"Who here is on Fab?"

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