FabSwingers.com forum: Does your opinion of yourself...

By *ake_or_death OP Man
31 weeks ago

Manchester

...depend on how others see you (or how you think they see you), or do you have a strong idea of yourself regardless of what other people think?

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By *idssissyTV/TS
31 weeks ago

Birmingham

Think most who know me well have a better opinion of me than I do of myself

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By *ell GwynnWoman
31 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

I tend not to ask what other people think of me, so I blissfully drift through life without the pressure of their opinions.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
31 weeks ago

North West

This is quite deep for a Thursday evening.

I don't know. I think I know what most people who know me think about me, but I'm pretty sure people who don't know me and maybe see me in the street or a shop, make assumptions and apply stereotypes. I think people who don't know me, think I'm weak and possibly cognitively impaired. That couldn't be further from the truth.

I know I'm a tough old bird anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

No. I have a strong sense of who I am. But I do feel like the way that some people see me, negatively, affects my mental health for some reason. Well I kinda know why but it’s deep shit.

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
31 weeks ago

somewhere

I think a few people think they can influence me into making decisions, I think some people think I am not fun as I don't drink, that I'm quite boring and sometimes I think it myself but if in completely honest with myself, right now I couldn't give 2 shits what people think of me, how they see me, for the first time in a very long time I actually feel "me" and I won't let anyone try and change that x

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By *urry BlokeMan
31 weeks ago

Stalybridge

I know my self worth

We all have confidence ebbs though

Some days I feel better about myself than others

Regardless, I know I am a decent man

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By *ot to giggleWoman
31 weeks ago

Coventry

Wow a thinking Thursday !!! - i have quite a negative opinion of myself - stems from the past - hear negative comments more easily than positive ones. I do find negativity from others hard at times to shake off, its my conditioning.

I try not to listen too much to others, and find it quite hard to understand sometimes positivity. But hey ... im happy and I bimble along in my own little bubble trying to avoid the bumps.

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By *ealitybitesMan
31 weeks ago

Belfast

It's very easy to say that I don't consider how others see me when forming an opinion of myself but it's not that straightforward.

Growing up I can say that I never allowed other people's opinions dictate my actions or how I saw myself.

In my 40s almost everything I did or believed was influenced by others.

Since turning 50 I won't say I don't care what anyone else thinks of me because I value the thoughts of those who really know me but I don't measure myself against the opinions of random strangers either irl or here.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
31 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

It's more reliant on myself than those close to me, and more reliant on those close to me than the opinions of people I don't even know.

But it would be a lie to say I'm not affected by the latter. But I think that's okay. I'm lucky enough to sit on the side that gets more positive reinforcement from strangers on at least an aesthetic level.

I'm fairly secure in myself and who I am. My nearest and dearest support and help that, then the rest sometimes has a little effect on the short term I suppose.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
31 weeks ago

Llanelli

Nobody knows me better than myself, others will always have their own views on people but the full picture is only within you.

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By *TG3Man
31 weeks ago

Dorchester

"...depend on how others see you (or how you think they see you), or do you have a strong idea of yourself regardless of what other people think?"
my opinion of me is resolute

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By *cottish guy 555Man
31 weeks ago

London

I have a very low opinion of myself.

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By *ellinever70Woman
31 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I'd say I have a strong idea of myself that's been shaped significantly with experiences and interactions with others through the course of my life

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
31 weeks ago

Reading

My family and closest friends have earned the right to that opinion. Others not.

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By *edeWoman
31 weeks ago

the abyss

I have a very definitive opinion of myself. It would be quick nice if what other people said influenced it but it never does which is just rude

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By *ellhungvweMan
31 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I know who I think I am and I am happy with that view.

I also know who other people think I am. I don’t place much notice of those views because they tend to be different from one another.

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By *ake_or_death OP Man
31 weeks ago

Manchester

"I have a very definitive opinion of myself. It would be quick nice if what other people said influenced it but it never does which is just rude

You should have a word with your opinion of yourself, it has poor manners and is, I am sure, a poor judge of character.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
31 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

How others view me is very important to me,I know I shouldn't but I do.

And the fact is that no matter how badly people think of me, trust me when I say nobody hates me more than I hate myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

Oh it absolutely does, probably in a way that I've struggled with in terms of understanding who I actually am as a person. I feel it can be masked by the impression I want to leave on others by matching their energy and opinions although I do think I have a set of core values that help me know what type of person I want to be. Maybe I'm just different chatting to people than I am when in my own.

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By *empest2KMan
31 weeks ago

Derby

"...depend on how others see you (or how you think they see you), or do you have a strong idea of yourself regardless of what other people think?"

Yeah, I think how others see me has definitely impacted how I see myself. I'm pretty sure I'm not the first person to seek validation from others, especially when it comes to body image in my case.

That's one heck of a deep thought for a Thursday

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

No. I really struggle with any kind of compliment,.to the point I read them and I kinda hate the person that gives them as I think they are full of shit.

I feel good when I feel good about myself, not when others tell me.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
31 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"No. I really struggle with any kind of compliment,.to the point I read them and I kinda hate the person that gives them as I think they are full of shit.

I feel good when I feel good about myself, not when others tell me. "

Mrs is the worst at receiving a compliment.

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By *ellhungvweMan
31 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"And the fact is that no matter how badly people think of me, trust me when I say nobody hates me more than I hate myself."

I am genuinely sorry to hear that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
31 weeks ago

East Sussex

I have a strong idea of myself. I'm frequently surprised on the rare occasion people tell me how they see me.

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By *ake_or_death OP Man
31 weeks ago

Manchester

"How others view me is very important to me,I know I shouldn't but I do.

And the fact is that no matter how badly people think of me, trust me when I say nobody hates me more than I hate myself."

That sounds like a rough place to be and I hope you find a way out of it soon.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
31 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"And the fact is that no matter how badly people think of me, trust me when I say nobody hates me more than I hate myself.

I am genuinely sorry to hear that. "

Thank you.

Unfortunately my deep rooted self loathing is something I think I'll never be rid of.

I think it's one of the reasons I'm very critical of others because I'm hypercritical of myself, it's pretty sad really but there's genuinely not one thing I like about myself.

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By *aitonelMan
31 weeks ago

Travelling

Nah. Though that's not to say I don't question and wonder about changes within myself, but it has fuck all to do with what others think.

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By *esthetic21Man
31 weeks ago

Birmingham/Bristol

You shouldn't think badly of yourself because thoughts manifest into things. Think positive aboit yourself but at the same time don't be arrogant

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
31 weeks ago

Southampton

"And the fact is that no matter how badly people think of me, trust me when I say nobody hates me more than I hate myself.

I am genuinely sorry to hear that.

Thank you.

Unfortunately my deep rooted self loathing is something I think I'll never be rid of.

I think it's one of the reasons I'm very critical of others because I'm hypercritical of myself, it's pretty sad really but there's genuinely not one thing I like about myself.

Hugs xx

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By *ellhungvweMan
31 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"And the fact is that no matter how badly people think of me, trust me when I say nobody hates me more than I hate myself.

I am genuinely sorry to hear that.

Thank you.

Unfortunately my deep rooted self loathing is something I think I'll never be rid of.

I think it's one of the reasons I'm very critical of others because I'm hypercritical of myself, it's pretty sad really but there's genuinely not one thing I like about myself.

I have nothing meaningful to say but the thought that did jump into my head was from that great philosopher Elsa: just let it go.

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By *ansoffateMan
31 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

It's a life's learning to know oneself and our self-perception is the lens we look through when we see others. I've met very few people whose lens is so clear of distortion that they could see others better than they can see themselves, including myself. And I've been working on it a long time. I keep meeting myself coming the other way. Where did I leave my keys?

I do care what people think, but I am not about to sacrifice the autonomy of my own mind over it. What would I be then other than a collection of people's ideas about me? I would still choose, which ideas to consider and so it is the I that makes that choice I am left to understand.

Does strength lie in rigidity or flexibility?

Perhaps letting go of a need for a strong idea of oneself, is what is truly liberating? I think that's where I am with myself, well at the moment it will fluctuate. Nope wait I'm just hungry -more pasta - AHH there's my keys.

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By *ayor 42nd StreetMan
31 weeks ago

Branston

Honestly? I don't care what others might think of me. I have friends going back 40-50 years, I have friends I met in the last 10 years. I meet people every day, more than happy to chat to strangers in the pub or elsewhere. You don't like me? Man, that really tears me to pieces! Not! There are at least 500 other people I can and will meet in a pub or elsewhere. Why lose sleep over this?

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

I don’t know. I think that if I’m in a not so great headspace, other peoples opinions can affect the way I view myself. Be it negative or positive.

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

I’m my biggest critic and my biggest fan; I have no idea how others see me, but I’m in therapy which is highly beneficial!……I’m not afraid to say.

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By *rHotNottsMan
31 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I have a strong sense of identity through my beliefs, joining the dots & making time to listen to others I trust.

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By *ex HolesMan
31 weeks ago

Up North

I really couldn’t give a fuck. Really.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
31 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I’m the last rolo

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By *uxom redCouple
31 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

I don't have a high opinion of myself never have never expect too either.

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By *rispyDuckMan
31 weeks ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

I read somewhere that:

A Lion is not concerned with opinions of Sheep.

This has always stayed with me. So depends on the scenario how I would respond& if the opinion is coming from someone I would consider another lion or sheep

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By *ilthycoupleabzCouple
31 weeks ago

Aberdeen

"I don’t know. I think that if I’m in a not so great headspace, other peoples opinions can affect the way I view myself. Be it negative or positive. "

Yes this is me. If I am not feeling good or am anxious/stressed I tend to find others opinions affect me. Only negative ones though oddly.

It is annoying.

MrsAbz

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
31 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I only care what my family and friends think. I think they have a better opinion of me than I have

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By *agnar73Man
31 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

Sometimes I genuinely don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks.

Sometimes I get a bit meh about how people can judge.

I guess it’s what point I’m at

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By *ussy whisperer1000Man
31 weeks ago

west mids

I don't rate me very much at all and find it hard to accept compliments

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
31 weeks ago

Den of Iniquity

I don't give it much thought tbh ..

I'm always me and I ain't changing..

But I like me as a human being yes

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
31 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

No, my opinion of myself does not depend on how others see me, it depends on how I see me.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
31 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

External validation is largely meaningless.

My relationship with myself is more important than anything anyone else says to me or about me.

This has however come from having a morality, a philosophy to live by and some pretty tough and worthwhile life lessons.

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By *EAT..85Woman
31 weeks ago

Nottingham

I'd say the main opinion that I took from others was about a physical feature that I didn't like but now accept is widely liked and I resultingly have confidence in it now.

Personality wise, I know who I am and project what I want others to see. Or not see. I don't require validation, I'm confident and enjoy being myself.

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