FabSwingers.com forum: What does porn get wrong?

By *r Sprout OP Man
38 weeks ago

the middle

I’ll start it off.

Everyone is prepared and ready to go at full potential at any moment

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Women always orgasm

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By *aitonelMan
38 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Women always orgasm "

But it's a fake orgasm, so technically true

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

The weird girlie high pitched squealing moaning “ohhh yeah baby, give it to me, oh yeah just like that”

Makes me hit the back button back instantly!

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By *iss.BellaWoman
38 weeks ago

Wales

Women are ridiculously noisy. If I'm watching lesbian porn - my go to- it has to be with sound off. Then they ruin it with the over the top faces they pull as well.

So I just watch focusing on their bodies. Then I give up because what's the point

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By *adyBugsWoman
38 weeks ago

cognito

How quickly a printer repair guy will turn up.

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By *aitonelMan
38 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Women are ridiculously noisy. If I'm watching lesbian porn - my go to- it has to be with sound off. Then they ruin it with the over the top faces they pull as well.

So I just watch focusing on their bodies. Then I give up because what's the point

But women ARE ridiculously noisy... In general.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

No “average” looking guys. It’s all absolute studs, or some overweight dude who somehow been “blessed” with a monster cock.

Women will let you grope their tits for €20 and you get a full fuck in public for circa €100 and they’re just “random women the camera guy just happened to come across by chance” who were desperate for the money but also happily did everything on camera.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I never find women stuck in furniture in my home

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By *assiieneilxMan
38 weeks ago

Newcastle under lyme

"How quickly a printer repair guy will turn up."

is there even such an occupation?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
38 weeks ago

North West

"I never find women stuck in furniture in my home"

How odd. Did you look properly?

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By *electableicecreamMan
38 weeks ago

The West

Your step mom will finish you off if she catches you jerking it

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

How long a virgin can last haha

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By *uxom redCouple
38 weeks ago

Shrewsbury

Pretty much everything lol

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"Women are ridiculously noisy. If I'm watching lesbian porn - my go to- it has to be with sound off. Then they ruin it with the over the top faces they pull as well.

So I just watch focusing on their bodies. Then I give up because what's the point

Lesbian porn typically isn’t as bad I find but totally get what you mean!!! It’s overkill and so off putting to hear and see when it’s like that grrrr

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By *ranimallxl5Man
38 weeks ago

Winchester

When they label it British and they have Australian accents...how dare they

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By *elloWoman
38 weeks ago

alpha centauri

The fact that they will spend 5 minutes shagging in one position and then with ease manoeuvre into a completely different position, without the 'wait wait , my knee/back/shoulder has locked, give me a second, urgh ok there it is, continue '

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Step daughters want to fuck their "daddy"

And step sister want to fuck their annoying step brothers.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"I never find women stuck in furniture in my home

How odd. Did you look properly?"

Or a household appliance

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By *etal and KinkMan
38 weeks ago

Malice

Porn teaches young men how to have sex. For my generation that meant a woman had to cum and it was a man's job to do it. For this generation it means a woman needs a good throat fucking and to get covered in her own spit.

Porn also teaches us that everyone else is having exactly the kind of sex we dream of. It sets unrealistic expectations, and is the reason men can't tell the difference between a woman with a desire to be an exhibitionist, and one who will fuck anyone who walks near her.

Porn is the worst.

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By *ickie76XXXMan
38 weeks ago

dartford

"The fact that they will spend 5 minutes shagging in one position and then with ease manoeuvre into a completely different position, without the 'wait wait , my knee/back/shoulder has locked, give me a second, urgh ok there it is, continue ' "

lol exactly. I’ve got cramp in my leg

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

That my friends mum is a nonce that has always wanted to sleep with me

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By *immyinreadingMan
38 weeks ago

henley on thames

Men pump away for ages, shagging a great looking woman with a fantastic bod, without cumming.

First pop? I’d be done in no time with those girls …

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

And that my teachers will sex me to get my grades up

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

That older women love younger men

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Etc

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By *reggSausageMan
38 weeks ago

derby

The plumbers in porn are absolutely useless, never complete the job don’t use the correct tools, it’s not realistic, also at the start there is no Yorkshire tea involved, once again that’s not how encounters are supposed to happen

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By *ynaMike69Man
38 weeks ago

Blackpool

How quickly a Plumber will arrive...

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By *immyinreadingMan
38 weeks ago

henley on thames

"The plumbers in porn are absolutely useless, never complete the job don’t use the correct tools, it’s not realistic, also at the start there is no Yorkshire tea involved, once again that’s not how encounters are supposed to happen "

… and no builders butt on display as he hammers away under the sink

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By *inkyandthebrain2023Couple
38 weeks ago

Cheshire

That you never have to pay for a taxi.

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By *exysoul888TV/TS
38 weeks ago

Newcastle

Fake Taxis don't get massive fines from the police...

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
38 weeks ago

North West

"That older women love younger men"

I feel seen

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
38 weeks ago

The Continental

All chicks wanna have their cervix smashed by a bunch of fingers ramming in in out at 268 strokes per second.

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By *lexm87Man
38 weeks ago

Various

As porn is fantasy, why is so much of it so bad?

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By *lynJMan
38 weeks ago

Morden

"I never find women stuck in furniture in my home

How odd. Did you look properly?"

They're down the back of the sofa.

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By *rand Central CoupleCouple
38 weeks ago

Glasgow

a woman can’t cum with a guy only wearing dirty tube socks

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By *lue NotebooksCouple
38 weeks ago

Merseyside

We usually don't get to see the guy's faces .. obviously because it's geared to men. But I enjoy some porn and I get off better when I can see the men properly

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
38 weeks ago

Considering its a fantasy world anything goes really

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By *immyinreadingMan
38 weeks ago

henley on thames

"We usually don't get to see the guy's faces .. obviously because it's geared to men. But I enjoy some porn and I get off better when I can see the men properly "

They usually look angry and agitated

I’d have a fucking great daft grin on my face …

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
38 weeks ago

Sunderland

No one has ever just got back from work and feels minging and needs a shower before they start bumping uglies.

Our sexy time involves a lot of talking shite, laughing and having some craic. Porn sex is always very serious and intense.

They give weird massages

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By *ugehandsMan
38 weeks ago

Fife/ Newcastle

First time amateurs and virgins apparently make alot of porn debuts.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Despite a lot of scenes being filmed in a kitchen, no one actually does any cooking.

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By *valanche1001Man
38 weeks ago

Leeds

Step sisters really aren’t that up for it

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By *immyinreadingMan
38 weeks ago

henley on thames

"No one has ever just got back from work and feels minging and needs a shower before they start bumping uglies.

Our sexy time involves a lot of talking shite, laughing and having some craic. Porn sex is always very serious and intense.

They give weird massages

Yeah, that’s where I meant about blokes always looking angry or agitated … always really serious and intense. Never a sense of fun, the “I can’t believe I’m banging this girl” vibe.

I was coming home from the pub one night and there was a guy dutifully walking a girl to a taxi. As the taxi pulled up and she was about to get in, she turned to him and said “do you want to come back to my place for the night”. The look of utter bemusement and confusion on his face … that’s what’s missing from porn … realism

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Woman always seems over satisfied

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By *rickie-dickieMan
38 weeks ago

South Durham

People get an unrealistic expectation as to how long a pizza will be delivered.

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By *immyinreadingMan
38 weeks ago

henley on thames

"Step sisters really aren’t that up for it

The prevalence of step sisters / dads / moms seems unlikely

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
38 weeks ago

"First time amateurs and virgins apparently make alot of porn debuts. "

First time anal, first time with a Black Man, first time with a Woman, there seems to be a lot of "firsts"

But again its a fantasy World

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By *immyinreadingMan
38 weeks ago

henley on thames

Hotel maids giving you a hand when they walk in on you having a wank on the bed, rather than reporting you.

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By *alandNitaCouple
38 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

"Women are ridiculously noisy. If I'm watching lesbian porn - my go to- it has to be with sound off. Then they ruin it with the over the top faces they pull as well.

So I just watch focusing on their bodies. Then I give up because what's the point

But women ARE ridiculously noisy... In general. "

Just not during sex

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Compilations…

Because: Just as you get to a good bit it switches scene to a new one altogether. And then again, and again, and again

Never allowing you to see what your watching through to its fullest potential

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By *lynJMan
38 weeks ago

Morden

Workmen will always put their work boots back on after they have removed all their clothes.

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By *ust want fun 888Man
38 weeks ago

nearby

The corny scripts

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By *piritualBlackBWW1979Woman
38 weeks ago

Medway

Yes to this!!!

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By *igboro01Man
38 weeks ago

Middlesbrough

Did he actually fix the washer?

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By *glyBettyTV/TS
38 weeks ago

About 3 feet away from the fence

They talk too much during sex.

I would much rather hear the grunts, with maybe the odd "yes" at most, uttered OCCASIONALLY.

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By *cLovin2Man
38 weeks ago

Reading

"People get an unrealistic expectation as to how long a pizza will be delivered. "

Pizza with extra sausage can be paid for with a card...

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By *cLovin2Man
38 weeks ago

Reading

"Compilations…

Because: Just as you get to a good bit it switches scene to a new one altogether. And then again, and again, and again

Never allowing you to see what your watching through to its fullest potential "

Worst bit is as I get excited with the starlet getting it, the scene switches to another woman, one I'm not into

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By *TG3Man
38 weeks ago

Dorchester

Every movie is the same just different actors, same plot, same content, washboard stomachs, big breasts gorgeous looking, long haired lovers

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Stepmom catches guy jerking & helps be a lot different in reality

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By *pankingNorfolkCouple
38 weeks ago

Norwichish

It’s all terrible.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

The step stuff is horrific

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By *ny1localMan
38 weeks ago

READING

The bloke never falls asleep afterwards.

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By *reeneggsandsamMan
38 weeks ago

Perpignan and cap

Sex is often silent, with the odd "you ok"?, "let's do that again" and "fucking hell it'll never fit in th.... Oooff".

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
38 weeks ago

Southampton

Everything!!

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By *unkym34Man
38 weeks ago

London

Plumbers turn up on time.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
38 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"Did you come?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Not in three strokes no."

"Oh..... sorry then."

"You had a blow job too."

"Yeah

Night!

"Fuck you"

"Why's the bed wobbly. I'm tryin' to sleep."

"I'm finishing myself off - put up with it!"

I never hear that bit of the script

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By *immyinreadingMan
38 weeks ago

henley on thames

"The bloke never falls asleep afterwards. "

… after a good long fart

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By *stwo2023Couple
38 weeks ago

Worcester

Endless boring blow jobs!!!

I just wanna see and hear some fucking

Evie

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By *ot to giggleWoman
38 weeks ago

Coventry

the faces! the hair! the lack of mess!!

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By *corpioboyMan
38 weeks ago

Glasgow

I hate the ones that have music all the way through the whole video. Okay maybe at the beginning but not all the way through it. So many good videos ruined by unnecessary music.

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By *ormalMaleMan
38 weeks ago

near By

What does it get right?

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By *eductivepiercingsWoman
38 weeks ago

louth

"Hotel maids giving you a hand when they walk in on you having a wank on the bed, rather than reporting you. "

My fella actually had a maid clean the full room on holidays while he had sex and she didn't even pass a single comment!

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By *mily36CWoman
38 weeks ago

Bracknell (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

That any tradie will accept sex as payment ...

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Chichester

"Despite a lot of scenes being filmed in a kitchen, no one actually does any cooking."

Tbh after Covid barely anyone seems to cook anymore if you see how many food deliveroo drivers are zipping about still today

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Chichester

"What does it get right?

It makes people enjoy themselves and have a laugh

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By *ugehandsMan
38 weeks ago

Fife/ Newcastle

"I hate the ones that have music all the way through the whole video. Okay maybe at the beginning but not all the way through it. So many good videos ruined by unnecessary music. "

That sounds like alot of videos on Fab

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Chichester

"I hate the ones that have music all the way through the whole video. Okay maybe at the beginning but not all the way through it. So many good videos ruined by unnecessary music.

That sounds like alot of videos on Fab

Tbh I have never had sound on porn in over 8 years It’s just visual I find

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By *ty31Man
38 weeks ago

NW London

"When they label it British and they have Australian accents...how dare they

It's this younger generation being too lazy to work- they've lost the A Blowjob Is Better Than No Job mentality

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
38 weeks ago

Reading

"Porn teaches young men how to have sex. For my generation that meant a woman had to cum and it was a man's job to do it. For this generation it means a woman needs a good throat fucking and to get covered in her own spit.

Porn is the worst."

Couldn't agree more.

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By *aradox13Man
38 weeks ago

Dorchester

That you can give a good back massage with one hand, while holding a camera in the other and pouring the oil on someone's back.

Also anal with no lube

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By *rBobbMan
38 weeks ago

Birmingham

Way to many fake boobs for my liking

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

That sensual sex is inferior to gratuitous sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"That any tradie will accept sex as payment ...

Some might

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By *ongandharderMan
38 weeks ago

Rotherham

How easy it is to get / have sex

The fact that people have time for it

The way the houses look

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"We usually don't get to see the guy's faces .. obviously because it's geared to men. But I enjoy some porn and I get off better when I can see the men properly "

I love to see all of a woman including her face to be able to relate to what's going on. And why do they always ignore small boobies and kissing.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

What I want to know is what happens when they've destroyed some hotel room or rented house (always with abstract art in shot) with gushing or watersports. Do they have to buy the owner new sofas same carpets?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Central

Too many homes with lush swimming pools

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By *ohnny DeeeepMan
38 weeks ago

durham

"The weird girlie high pitched squealing moaning “ohhh yeah baby, give it to me, oh yeah just like that”

Makes me hit the back button back instantly!

1000% this! The fake over produced smut. I pretty much just watch amateur because of this.

Can I also add another thing porn gets wrong?

Nobody ever gets stuck in a washing machine..

Ever..

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By *oxy jWoman
38 weeks ago

somerset

everything

its entertainment just like horror films or comedy anyonw who takes anything serious from porn are not living in the real world ...

women being over loud its so fake yet there are gullible women out there who think its real just go to a club most nights theres that false woman whos so loud who think all are thinking wow well they are thinking wow and laughting at you at the same time fakeness cannot be covered up ..

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
38 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

There is nothing wrong with the washing machine in the first place

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By *ee69Man
38 weeks ago

glasgow

All of it , a think it gives young men in particular a really bad example , I think it’s gotten worse over time too

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By *JcuriousCouple
38 weeks ago

Derby

That women do fake loud annoying moans 24/7 even when not being touched

Miss S x

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By *erichol17Man
38 weeks ago

Liverpool

The guy always holds the ladies head as he shoots on her face never like that lol it goes on the curtains and in hair

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By *tsJustKateWoman
38 weeks ago

London

All the fake moaning

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

plumbers never get sex

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