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"From my experience no they don't, they will just carry on and when the long suffering person does have the courage to end it, it's never the narcissist fault the reason why it ended, they will never see or accept they were the problem. " All very true, they cannot be blamed it’s all your fault, like everything else you ever did | |||
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"I am not sufficiently qualified to diagnose narcissism. I am sufficiently human to realise their condition isn't voluntary. Shall we do cancer sufferers instead today ? There’s an argument that it is voluntary. It’s rooted in insecurity, which can come from early childhood experiences, core beliefs are formed and a pattern starts. It can be worked on, if they choose to. Op there are less narcissist than it is believed, but many people have narcissistic traits" The causes are complex and although childhood traumas can be worked on genetics and neurobiological reasons are far more permanent. | |||
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"From my experience no they don't, they will just carry on and when the long suffering person does have the courage to end it, it's never the narcissist fault the reason why it ended, they will never see or accept they were the problem. " Yes, you are right there, they dont do it, as it is up to the partner to leave them. | |||
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" Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them.." Sounds awful ! do you think there might be some on here even ? I assume sending them cock pics and telling them they are perfect and beautiful fixes it ? | |||
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"I was reading an interesting article about it if narcissists end any relationships themselves. They said that no they dont ..." Yes they do. When I was in the wrong side of such a relationship, it was "ended" every month - then restarted. The controlling half then had a fresh flood of attention and coming first in everything... When it truely ended it was a calculated ending sending as much pain as posiable. The worst thing about such relationships, is when you're in it you don't realise - it's taken me years to be able to look back and see what it was | |||
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"I was reading an interesting article about it if narcissists end any relationships themselves. They said that no they dont ... Yes they do. When I was in the wrong side of such a relationship, it was "ended" every month - then restarted. The controlling half then had a fresh flood of attention and coming first in everything... When it truely ended it was a calculated ending sending as much pain as posiable. The worst thing about such relationships, is when you're in it you don't realise - it's taken me years to be able to look back and see what it was " It has taken me 3 years to get back to someone I vaguely recall being me, the trauma bond still triggers in me now but I now recognise it for what it is. The conditioning was so deeply embedded it will take years more to fully recover. | |||
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"If a traumatic life event hadn’t separated me from my narcissistic partner I know 100% I would have still been with her and in her grasp, living the painful abusive life I had unwittingly been manipulated into over 10 years. Narcissists are so clever at their craft and feed like termites on your very being and soul, their need for this will never make them leave a relationship, that is until they move on to another victim and get their vile satisfaction from them. 3 years down the line and I still live with toxic shame and guilt but rebuilding my life and being ME is something I’m enjoying learning to do again. " Yes, they are clever at what they do too. | |||
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"Narcissists don’t have relationships they have batteries. As long as you give them what they need they will not let go. " Yes, you are right there, they wont let go, until one dont give them that. | |||
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"I am not a fan of discussions about narcissists as if they ALL hatched out of the same egg and ALL do exactly the same thing. e.g. Do narcissists end relationships themselves ..... Answer .. that one did but that one didn't and that one did but that one didn't .... yada yada They are not peas on a pod. Just people navigating life with what life gave them. Can we do brain tumors now?" Yes, lets. Then let's do people who've had broken bones. | |||
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"In general most people demonstrate a wide variety of human emotions and conditions, it's what makes us individual. The problems come when the degree and or severity of a particular trait becomes dominant in a person. In answer to the ops question, yes they can end relationships. Most narcissists do realise when they have exhausted a particular source and will move on. It's the ones that don't are the ones that you really need to worry about!" Yes, you are right there, most of them realise that and move on too | |||
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"No idea. I don't know any narcissists. I do know a few people who have treated their partners abominably and expected them to overlook it because 'that's how they are'then been utterly flabbergasted when they walk away. I also know people who want to look like the injured party so treat their partner terribly in the hope that they will end the relationship. I know people whose life long battle with depression has caused them to be really nasty to their partner/children for long periods of time and expect to be forgiven when they're better without discussion or apology because they can't help it. I don't know if any of them are narcissists. I do know people can be horrible for loads of reasons though." Yes, you are right there, those are also good points, people can be that for loads of reasons too. | |||
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"Having been married to one for 10 years .... yes I can point to all the reasons for their personality disorder but there are plenty of people who have childhood trauma etc etc who are not thunderous c*nts. Lying, gaslighting, mental abuse, financial abuse, being selfish all the things I was subjected to ... There is never an acceptable excuse for someone behaving like a d*ck to someone else. " Correct and I fully agree with you. If I had any confidence in the justice system or if the law wasn't do messed up. Then I would have reported the ex gf for coercive and controlling behaviour, emotional and psychological abuse because that's what it is. It's actually illegal to behave in that manner. They made it illegal in 2015, however proving it can be a nightmare for all concerned. | |||
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"most with narcissistic traits dont have a diagnosis - its traits of narcissistic personality. Think having worked with people trying to get out of relationships, and having some experience - they are hard to get rid of because of their sense of entitlement and that you are doing them a wrong. But as with everything everyone is different and you cant put a blanket statement on everything - " Hi gottogiggle, yes, you are right there, those are good points, everyone is different too | |||
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"Mine did as she cheated then wanted me also but trust was gone, but she still made attempts to try and start again as friends. I just kept things flowing never in person The first one died and she quickly moved to another. Think she got the message as she realised how she had treated me... Far too much damage had been done, (unforgivable) but I did. because I knew without alcohol we had something that was unreal and she knew that then and afterwards. I'm not second best I understand no one can turn the clock back, I know she wishes it could've as she understood what she lost Too many bridges got burnt " Did you really understand which personality you liked as they are liars, cheats, gaslight and manipulate at an Olympic level. The only reason Narcissists get on with people coz thru are getting something from it all. When their mask slips they then devalue and then discard so they don't get found out. They are actually running away from themselves too as their self esteem lowers and they begin to look for new or go back to their old supply. GO NO CONTACT with these NPDs. | |||
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"Having been married to one for 10 years .... yes I can point to all the reasons for their personality disorder but there are plenty of people who have childhood trauma etc etc who are not thunderous c*nts. Lying, gaslighting, mental abuse, financial abuse, being selfish all the things I was subjected to ... There is never an acceptable excuse for someone behaving like a d*ck to someone else. " Yes, you are right there, those are also good points too. | |||
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"From my experience no they don't, they will just carry on and when the long suffering person does have the courage to end it, it's never the narcissist fault the reason why it ended, they will never see or accept they were the problem. " Definitely this and to add they will do their best to discredit you and destroy what pittance of a life you have left. Three years out of a relationship and still she tries to control my life. | |||
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"Ps: I ended it and am now very happy" That is good you have ended it and are happy now too | |||
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"They triangulate when they get bored of their current partner and have their next victim lined up well before the current partner is provided with the ‘use and discard’ approach. Even after being discarded, the former partner will be perpetually harassed by him/her and will never be free of them " Yes, you are right there, those are good points too | |||
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"They triangulate when they get bored of their current partner and have their next victim lined up well before the current partner is provided with the ‘use and discard’ approach. Even after being discarded, the former partner will be perpetually harassed by him/her and will never be free of them Yes, you are right there, those are good points too " I have experience with them in the past! Had to research them throughly to learn to understand their mechanisms They are devoid of any interpersonal ability whatsoever unless it’s to advance a personal agenda!! Brilliant actors. Quite intelligent too. Devoid on emotional and compassionate levels entirely Quite empty people intrinsically | |||
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"Mine did as she cheated then wanted me also but trust was gone, but she still made attempts to try and start again as friends. I just kept things flowing never in person The first one died and she quickly moved to another. Think she got the message as she realised how she had treated me... Far too much damage had been done, (unforgivable) but I did. because I knew without alcohol we had something that was unreal and she knew that then and afterwards. I'm not second best I understand no one can turn the clock back, I know she wishes it could've as she understood what she lost Too many bridges got burnt Did you really understand which personality you liked as they are liars, cheats, gaslight and manipulate at an Olympic level. The only reason Narcissists get on with people coz thru are getting something from it all. When their mask slips they then devalue and then discard so they don't get found out. They are actually running away from themselves too as their self esteem lowers and they begin to look for new or go back to their old supply. GO NO CONTACT with these NPDs." The main one before the switch, I understand rather than themselves taking the full blame tend to spread it out as if both parties played a part She is going to get found out when I've finished and expose her | |||
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"Shag, you seem quite keen on discussing narcissism. This isn't the first time you posed such a question. Just wondered what the fascination is? " Yes. I find it an interesting topic to discuss about too | |||
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"If a traumatic life event hadn’t separated me from my narcissistic partner I know 100% I would have still been with her and in her grasp, living the painful abusive life I had unwittingly been manipulated into over 10 years. Narcissists are so clever at their craft and feed like termites on your very being and soul, their need for this will never make them leave a relationship, that is until they move on to another victim and get their vile satisfaction from them. 3 years down the line and I still live with toxic shame and guilt but rebuilding my life and being ME is something I’m enjoying learning to do again. " Oh I feel this in my soul. We had a major and pretty traumatic event separate us too. And 100% for sure, I’d either still be in his grasp, or dead. I’m almost 2 years out, but finding my old self has been difficult. I know exactly what you’re going through if you ever want to chat to someone who understands | |||
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"Shag, you seem quite keen on discussing narcissism. This isn't the first time you posed such a question. Just wondered what the fascination is? " I think any experience with a narcissist is so traumatic that it can be quite validating to talk about | |||
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"Shag, you seem quite keen on discussing narcissism. This isn't the first time you posed such a question. Just wondered what the fascination is? I think any experience with a narcissist is so traumatic that it can be quite validating to talk about " Absolutely | |||
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"I was in a thus type of relationship- with my mum. I ended our relationship 3 years ago - I couldn't take it anymore and she was starting her toxic traits with my kids. She would never have ended it as she gained such pure enjoyment and fulfillment at my suffering. It made her 'buzz' whenever we argued. So no they won't end it - one because they never see themselves as in the wrong and 2 because they are addicted the the buzz S xxx " I see, so you did it there, you are right there, as they wouldnt do it x. | |||
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"Yes they do end relationships themselves. However they leave confusion behind themselves and give you the silent treatment, which is emotional and psychological abuse. They know exactly what they are doing is wrong. They can and will come back for the person at a later date too, this is called hoovering. " Yes! Just this. That was my experence. I'm still being softly "hoovered", (9 years on) I had a message just this week. I'm polite, as I still don't like to think badly of her (perverse isn't it!?!?), but I've learnt my lession, and always step aside and avoid being sucked in! | |||
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"If a traumatic life event hadn’t separated me from my narcissistic partner I know 100% I would have still been with her and in her grasp, living the painful abusive life I had unwittingly been manipulated into over 10 years. Narcissists are so clever at their craft and feed like termites on your very being and soul, their need for this will never make them leave a relationship, that is until they move on to another victim and get their vile satisfaction from them. 3 years down the line and I still live with toxic shame and guilt but rebuilding my life and being ME is something I’m enjoying learning to do again. Oh I feel this in my soul. We had a major and pretty traumatic event separate us too. And 100% for sure, I’d either still be in his grasp, or dead. I’m almost 2 years out, but finding my old self has been difficult. I know exactly what you’re going through if you ever want to chat to someone who understands " I’d love to chat more with someone who understands and has experienced a shared trauma, please message me as I can’t directly contact you. X | |||
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"I am not a fan of discussions about narcissists as if they ALL hatched out of the same egg and ALL do exactly the same thing. e.g. Do narcissists end relationships themselves ..... Answer .. that one did but that one didn't and that one did but that one didn't .... yada yada They are not peas on a pod. Just people navigating life with what life gave them. Can we do brain tumors now?" So why are you commenting on the post then | |||
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"I was reading an interesting article about it if narcissists end any relationships themselves. They said that no they dont because when a narcissist realises they are not getting what they want or enough attention from their narcissistic supply, they start mistreating them, they may give the silent treatment and act like they are not interested anymore. They also added that they may not completely cut you off, but if they do, they wont feel remorse about it. I agree with that they dont do it, because they need the supply for them to feed on. I would also say that the majority of narcissists arent the ones who end relationships, it is normally their partner who eventually reaches the point where they cant take anymore. What is your view about it and do you agree with it, have you been together with one and how did it go for you? " They end the relationship when it becomes difficult for the narc to get what they want. Their mask slips and before they get found out they discard you with no good reasons or give you the silent treatment. Their self esteem is low and it needs building up so they groom people who have positive energy | |||
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