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Over dramatic or justified

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By *929 OP   Man
34 weeks ago

bedlington

Look for a bit input if my decision is correct, will try and explain as briefly as possible

Currently working building my mates sister in laws extension a few points regarding this

Doing it for half my usual pay rate

Used my digger for the excavation free of charge to save on hire costs

Using my small tools for free also mixer, wacker ect

Supposed to be doing together but he missing gor 2 weeks now on his own jobs so we having to do our own mixes fetch all bricks and blocks ect while my own jobs getting further behind

I also previously built his extention for even cheaper (1/4 my usual rate)

I asked simply the other day if I could have some soil off his pile (he eventually paying for it removed) on his land and said if I call up would he loud up my truck with his jcb (5 minute job seeing as he proficient on that machine) said no load it yourself.

I know it sounds like fuck all but I been getting more and more annoyed by it all weekend.

Now I’m thinking of doing a few more days on this extension as good will gesture then fucking off back onto my own job

Wondering g how many would do the same

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By *rMonkeyMan
34 weeks ago

Somewhere

This is the reason I don't do mates rates. You always end up losing. I've learnt the hard way. Understandable reaction but just take it as a lesson.

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By *arley QuimWoman
34 weeks ago

Somewhere

Don't be a mug

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By *ookie46Woman
34 weeks ago

Deepest darkest Peru

Some friends take advantage, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable

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By *ohntall123Man
34 weeks ago

Biggleswade


"Look for a bit input if my decision is correct, will try and explain as briefly as possible

Currently working building my mates sister in laws extension a few points regarding this

Doing it for half my usual pay rate

Used my digger for the excavation free of charge to save on hire costs

Using my small tools for free also mixer, wacker ect

Supposed to be doing together but he missing gor 2 weeks now on his own jobs so we having to do our own mixes fetch all bricks and blocks ect while my own jobs getting further behind

I also previously built his extention for even cheaper (1/4 my usual rate)

I asked simply the other day if I could have some soil off his pile (he eventually paying for it removed) on his land and said if I call up would he loud up my truck with his jcb (5 minute job seeing as he proficient on that machine) said no load it yourself.

I know it sounds like fuck all but I been getting more and more annoyed by it all weekend.

Now I’m thinking of doing a few more days on this extension as good will gesture then fucking off back onto my own job

Wondering g how many would do the same "

People like taking the pxxs tbh just don’t do it

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By *ickie76XXXMan
34 weeks ago

dartford

You’re in a no win situation there mate.

I did similar for my ex brother in law. Went to his house after work (I was getting back about 7.30pm then) every night for 2 weeks plastering his entire house for nothing as a favour. Would get moaned at if I got there late and at the end of it he gave me four cans of beer!!! Yeah I was the mug but if I had said no then they would have all said “whys he being an arsehole for”. Can’t win. As the post above says best never to do work for friends or family really because of this exact reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

He sounds like a s*it.

Load up your stuff yourself, tell him you need to get on top of other paying jobs. And keep their extension on limbo until he's around to help you complete it. Or load up and say nothing until he gets in touch.

When you've both arranged to do it together and the guy buggers off for 2 weeks... Well that sucks.

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By *arley QuimWoman
34 weeks ago

Somewhere

Plus it's a mates, mate so double taking the piss

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By *ornucopiaMan
34 weeks ago

Bexley

Always stick to Durex rates!

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Hard one there

Your bween a hard place and hard place

Would probably finsh out the job but at the same time take a note and if he asks you to do anything in the future just tell him your to busy

If you walk off it be your word against his word against his sister in laws word and his brother word and such

You just end up coming out the bad one even though if what you say is 100% I not saying it not I just not there if you know what I mean

As they paint you bad

Like oooo we haired xxx to do for consevty payed him xxx amount he done like a weeks worth off work / draged his tail bl bl bl then walked off site and never came back wouldn’t get him in to do anything or pay him upfront or anything bl bl bl

And now your the one with the bad rep even though not your fault

Best just bite toung finsh out the job and take note and don’t help again In the future

That way thay can’t paint you in any bad light

I know it’s a hard one to swoll but it’s the best way not to be paint bad

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By *ohntall123Man
34 weeks ago

Biggleswade


"Plus it's a mates, mate so double taking the piss "

Haha

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By *929 OP   Man
34 weeks ago

bedlington


"Hard one there

Your bween a hard place and hard place

Would probably finsh out the job but at the same time take a note and if he asks you to do anything in the future just tell him your to busy

If you walk off it be your word against his word against his sister in laws word and his brother word and such

You just end up coming out the bad one even though if what you say is 100% I not saying it not I just not there if you know what I mean

As they paint you bad

Like oooo we haired xxx to do for consevty payed him xxx amount he done like a weeks worth off work / draged his tail bl bl bl then walked off site and never came back wouldn’t get him in to do anything or pay him upfront or anything bl bl bl

And now your the one with the bad rep even though not your fault

Best just bite toung finsh out the job and take note and don’t help again In the future

That way thay can’t paint you in any bad light

I know it’s a hard one to swoll but it’s the best way not to be paint bad "

Sorry I should have mentioned in original post that the pay is day rate so if I were to walk off nobody is out of pocket I’d never leave a job I’d been paid for in fact I couldn’t as all my own jobs are payment upon completion

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By *929 OP   Man
34 weeks ago

bedlington


"You’re in a no win situation there mate.

I did similar for my ex brother in law. Went to his house after work (I was getting back about 7.30pm then) every night for 2 weeks plastering his entire house for nothing as a favour. Would get moaned at if I got there late and at the end of it he gave me four cans of beer!!! Yeah I was the mug but if I had said no then they would have all said “whys he being an arsehole for”. Can’t win. As the post above says best never to do work for friends or family really because of this exact reason. "

That’s proper shit mate 4 cans in exchange for plastering a whole house you saved him thousands

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago


"Hard one there

Your bween a hard place and hard place

Would probably finsh out the job but at the same time take a note and if he asks you to do anything in the future just tell him your to busy

If you walk off it be your word against his word against his sister in laws word and his brother word and such

You just end up coming out the bad one even though if what you say is 100% I not saying it not I just not there if you know what I mean

As they paint you bad

Like oooo we haired xxx to do for consevty payed him xxx amount he done like a weeks worth off work / draged his tail bl bl bl then walked off site and never came back wouldn’t get him in to do anything or pay him upfront or anything bl bl bl

And now your the one with the bad rep even though not your fault

Best just bite toung finsh out the job and take note and don’t help again In the future

That way thay can’t paint you in any bad light

I know it’s a hard one to swoll but it’s the best way not to be paint bad

Sorry I should have mentioned in original post that the pay is day rate so if I were to walk off nobody is out of pocket I’d never leave a job I’d been paid for in fact I couldn’t as all my own jobs are payment upon completion "

Ahhh ok then yes would probably go to other jobs and tell him that when he’s there to do the job give you a phone call the night before so you can propose your job tell him to give you a time he be there

Tell him that if you turn up and he’s not there your siting in your van till he arrives if he’s not arrived within 20 minutes past the time your drive off to another job

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By *929 OP   Man
34 weeks ago

bedlington


"He sounds like a s*it.

Load up your stuff yourself, tell him you need to get on top of other paying jobs. And keep their extension on limbo until he's around to help you complete it. Or load up and say nothing until he gets in touch.

When you've both arranged to do it together and the guy buggers off for 2 weeks... Well that sucks."

He’s notorious for it mate he burned his bridges with his own family who all work in construction they all sick of doing work for free and now refuse his cousin did his driveway at his first house was offered no payment other than a drink and he still waiting for the drink yet

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By *929 OP   Man
34 weeks ago

bedlington

Thank you all glad the general consensus is that it’s not entirely unreasonable i trying to reply to everyone as not to be ignorant but already well muddled up trying haha appreciate every one who replies just wanted a bit reassurance I was not in the wrong honest it was the refusing to load up that pushed over the edge haha

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By *ucka39Man
34 weeks ago

Newcastle

Think of the money that you'll be loosing out on do the mates when you can fit in time and when he's around

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

East Sussex

I don't think you're in the wrong but what has your mate's sister in law got to say about it all? She's the one with an unfinished extension

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By *lueLotusWoman
34 weeks ago

the wilderness


"He sounds like a s*it.

Load up your stuff yourself, tell him you need to get on top of other paying jobs. And keep their extension on limbo until he's around to help you complete it. Or load up and say nothing until he gets in touch.

When you've both arranged to do it together and the guy buggers off for 2 weeks... Well that sucks.

He’s notorious for it mate he burned his bridges with his own family who all work in construction they all sick of doing work for free and now refuse his cousin did his driveway at his first house was offered no payment other than a drink and he still waiting for the drink yet "

Sounds like nobody will listen to him if he bad mouths you for walking off.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
34 weeks ago

Reading

He taking the piss.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

A mates sister in law is not a Family.

Knock it on the head.

Half price = half the speed or half the quality. They will opt for half the speed.

Do it when you can, in your spare time.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

I'd finish the job and then that'd be the final 'mates rates' offer to anyone, don't sell yourself short to anyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago


"I'd finish the job and then that'd be the final 'mates rates' offer to anyone, don't sell yourself short to anyone."

There’s a moment when you do realise never to do it again.

I will never do mates rates or favours for anyone new. I learned that from a job like the op’s.

People take the piss.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
34 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

It's easy to say walk away but it sounds like you are a good guy and have integrity and care about your job.

I stopped doing private jobs years ago because of piss takers.

If it was me I'd explain that you can't do it all alone and unless he helps finish then it's not getting done.

How much more time is left on the job?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

Hi O.P. I can feel your pain. You really have been festering all weekend.

Here's a few of my thoughts. Take em or leave em. x

Your mates sister in law = your mates brother... either way they are not your mate. YOU agreed to do it for half price including delaying your real jobs..... Mate you are a people pleaser not a business man. If you want to be mr. nice guy at your own expense it's up to you but no wonder people get cheesed off with builders AND it seems to me that other customers are paying for your mates brother's missuses extension.

Helping out mates YES but mates mates mates....... noooooooooo Where do YOU draw your line ?

You agreed to this.

More coming.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

Using your digger and your small tools was okay by you before he wouldn't load the sand. You can't mention it now it was your decision.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

If you BOTH agreed that you would work together and he has been missing for 2 WEEKS why haven't you said anything ???

It should have been said that he has to stay with you till job done. If he didn't agree to that then he can swan off if he wants .

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

The fact you built HIS extension for a quarter of the price has nothing to do with what is going on now ......

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

It's not that he didn't load sand/bricks for you ....... it's WHY he wouldn't and you don't tell us that.

Maybe he was busy getting his real jobs done or sommat.....

BUT...... if i'd been give give give and then don't get help when I ask i'd re consider things too ......

I'm feeling you feel used and mugged off.....

Last bit coming up

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By *ornucopiaMan
34 weeks ago

Bexley

The road to hell is paved with mates' extensions!

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By *allipygousMan
34 weeks ago

Leicester

This is why I find it best to be perceived a cunt that to have cuntish things happen to you.

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
34 weeks ago

Manchester

From that telling of the tale it doesn’t sound like you’re in the wrong at all.

You need to have an honest conversation with them.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

Final Word......

Make sure - in your own head -you don't owe him anything like favours or money that you haven't mentioned

Go over the original agreement in your own head.

Sit down with him and tell him what you need to be able to carry on with the job- e.g. We need you here till this is finished to do the ..... xyz like we agreed. Tell him that with him not being there you are losing out too much.

( don't mention the brick stuff ffs ) It's not about winning an argument it's about resolving what's going on for everyone.

If he can't agree to do that just calmly say . Okay mate , I can stay till xyz and then I have to stop because....... abc.

Then stick to your word.

Do I think you over reacted. NO

Do I think you are too 'nice' or maybe too 'daft' ........ pass

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
34 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry


"Look for a bit input if my decision is correct, will try and explain as briefly as possible

Currently working building my mates sister in laws extension a few points regarding this

Doing it for half my usual pay rate

Used my digger for the excavation free of charge to save on hire costs

Using my small tools for free also mixer, wacker ect

Supposed to be doing together but he missing gor 2 weeks now on his own jobs so we having to do our own mixes fetch all bricks and blocks ect while my own jobs getting further behind

I also previously built his extention for even cheaper (1/4 my usual rate)

I asked simply the other day if I could have some soil off his pile (he eventually paying for it removed) on his land and said if I call up would he loud up my truck with his jcb (5 minute job seeing as he proficient on that machine) said no load it yourself.

I know it sounds like fuck all but I been getting more and more annoyed by it all weekend.

Now I’m thinking of doing a few more days on this extension as good will gesture then fucking off back onto my own job

Wondering g how many would do the same "

More fool you, mugged yourself right off didn't ya

Mr

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By *ools and the brainCouple
34 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

OP is there a contract involved?

If not then I can't see the problem just walk away.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
34 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

You previously did your mates extension for 1/4 rate and now this. You are - frankly - bringing this on yourself. Get the job finished then reset your boundaries.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

Taking control will stop your anxiety O.P.

Next time when you help a mate ( as we all do ) make sure the conditions are known on all sides and stuck to. x

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By *TG3Man
34 weeks ago

Dorchester


"Look for a bit input if my decision is correct, will try and explain as briefly as possible

Currently working building my mates sister in laws extension a few points regarding this

Doing it for half my usual pay rate

Used my digger for the excavation free of charge to save on hire costs

Using my small tools for free also mixer, wacker ect

Supposed to be doing together but he missing gor 2 weeks now on his own jobs so we having to do our own mixes fetch all bricks and blocks ect while my own jobs getting further behind

I also previously built his extention for even cheaper (1/4 my usual rate)

I asked simply the other day if I could have some soil off his pile (he eventually paying for it removed) on his land and said if I call up would he loud up my truck with his jcb (5 minute job seeing as he proficient on that machine) said no load it yourself.

I know it sounds like fuck all but I been getting more and more annoyed by it all weekend.

Now I’m thinking of doing a few more days on this extension as good will gesture then fucking off back onto my own job

Wondering g how many would do the same "
he doesn't sound like a mate he sounds like he's using you

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By *ravelling_WilburyMan
34 weeks ago

Beverley

Sounds like you're being taken for a ride mate and your good will should have been used up by now! Call it in and say do it yourself... See how his attitude changes then. Might open his eyes. If it doesn't, it's not a loss

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

P.S O.P.

I need stuff doing on my house. Do you know anyone that gives it away ? I'll even pay quarter price

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By *ravelling_WilburyMan
34 weeks ago

Beverley

Also, mates sister in law is a proper stretch of mates rates!

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
34 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

..and if your mate is supposed to be on this with you, you might want yo tell him when he works on this then so do you. When he’s on other jobs so are you.

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By *TG3Man
34 weeks ago

Dorchester


"P.S O.P.

I need stuff doing on my house. Do you know anyone that gives it away ? I'll even pay quarter price "
ok on my way

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross


"P.S O.P.

I need stuff doing on my house. Do you know anyone that gives it away ? I'll even pay quarter price ok on my way "

Fred! I'd pay you double

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By *TG3Man
34 weeks ago

Dorchester


"P.S O.P.

I need stuff doing on my house. Do you know anyone that gives it away ? I'll even pay quarter price ok on my way

Fred! I'd pay you double "
lol hey double of nothing is still nothing

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

I'm not sure we have the full story O.P. e.g. ( and don't answer these )

Are you leaving a full time job or own business to do 'his' work?

Are you both working on the side ? Unemployed ?

None of it anyone's business ( I did say don't answer ) but I can't fathom how a working man can just leave his own work and income to do something for someone on the cheap.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross


"P.S O.P.

I need stuff doing on my house. Do you know anyone that gives it away ? I'll even pay quarter price ok on my way

Fred! I'd pay you double lol hey double of nothing is still nothing "

Oh yea O:- I'm so silly I am

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By *TG3Man
34 weeks ago

Dorchester


"I'm not sure we have the full story O.P. e.g. ( and don't answer these )

Are you leaving a full time job or own business to do 'his' work?

Are you both working on the side ? Unemployed ?

None of it anyone's business ( I did say don't answer ) but I can't fathom how a working man can just leave his own work and income to do something for someone on the cheap.

"
He can't answer he's too busy working for his mate

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By *ot to giggleWoman
34 weeks ago

Coventry

think you know yourself where you want to go with this - you have to do what sits comfortably with you. and yea - no more work for him.

maybe you need to pull your list of 'mates' into closer acquaintances if you want to do work for them, and maybe smaller jobs?

Whatever decision you make you are the one that has to live with it. You have a lot of sound opinions on here, your choice.

I always signpost 'mates' to others and say im either too busy or i cannot work with them for whatever reason.

good luck - people can be real shitty.

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By *rHotNottsMan
34 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I’ve never understood mates rates if you make a living primarily from a daily rate. It’s like your paying them to do jobs for them ?

Sounds like it might result in a half completed job.

Why not stick with stranger rates and do a really good job for your friends instead ?

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By *929 OP   Man
34 weeks ago

bedlington


"I'm not sure we have the full story O.P. e.g. ( and don't answer these )

Are you leaving a full time job or own business to do 'his' work?

Are you both working on the side ? Unemployed ?

None of it anyone's business ( I did say don't answer ) but I can't fathom how a working man can just leave his own work and income to do something for someone on the cheap.

"

Haha I know say don’t answer but I’d like to clear these up

My own business, I’d pencilled in time for this job amongst the other but him not being on site as well as a few other things (building inspector took a week to turn up to approve drainage)

Neither of us are unemployed I’ve ran my own business (with one break to work a regular job during recession) for about 20 years now, I have had zero entitlement to unemployment benefits for many years now even if have no work due to savings/assets

Your last point I have no answer I’m a fucking idiot seeing it put like that and a few others have pointed out too

Just quick reply will acknowledge/reply everyone once I’m done at work thank you sll

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
34 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon


"I'm not sure we have the full story O.P. e.g. ( and don't answer these )

Are you leaving a full time job or own business to do 'his' work?

Are you both working on the side ? Unemployed ?

None of it anyone's business ( I did say don't answer ) but I can't fathom how a working man can just leave his own work and income to do something for someone on the cheap.

Haha I know say don’t answer but I’d like to clear these up

My own business, I’d pencilled in time for this job amongst the other but him not being on site as well as a few other things (building inspector took a week to turn up to approve drainage)

Neither of us are unemployed I’ve ran my own business (with one break to work a regular job during recession) for about 20 years now, I have had zero entitlement to unemployment benefits for many years now even if have no work due to savings/assets

Your last point I have no answer I’m a fucking idiot seeing it put like that and a few others have pointed out too

Just quick reply will acknowledge/reply everyone once I’m done at work thank you sll"

You’re not an idiot. Good intentioned and someone is taking liberties with you, yes. Idiot? no.

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By *929 OP   Man
34 weeks ago

bedlington

Sorry that first point about pencilling in the time should say that’s why it’s so far behind and ate into my time for other jobs, sometimes if a sentence is too long I forget the point of writing it by the end and miss ot out haha

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By *TG3Man
34 weeks ago

Dorchester


"P.S O.P.

I need stuff doing on my house. Do you know anyone that gives it away ? I'll even pay quarter price ok on my way

Fred! I'd pay you double lol hey double of nothing is still nothing

Oh yea O:- I'm so silly I am "
Granny you have your head screwed on

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

O.P.

You are REALLY lovely ...

Next time , family,a real mate or a woman you love can have two hours labour a day, after you've finished all your other work and THEY pay for all the materials and get it on site for you .....

That's the LAW now. Them's the rules

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
34 weeks ago

Southampton


"Look for a bit input if my decision is correct, will try and explain as briefly as possible

Currently working building my mates sister in laws extension a few points regarding this

Doing it for half my usual pay rate

Used my digger for the excavation free of charge to save on hire costs

Using my small tools for free also mixer, wacker ect

Supposed to be doing together but he missing gor 2 weeks now on his own jobs so we having to do our own mixes fetch all bricks and blocks ect while my own jobs getting further behind

I also previously built his extention for even cheaper (1/4 my usual rate)

I asked simply the other day if I could have some soil off his pile (he eventually paying for it removed) on his land and said if I call up would he loud up my truck with his jcb (5 minute job seeing as he proficient on that machine) said no load it yourself.

I know it sounds like fuck all but I been getting more and more annoyed by it all weekend.

Now I’m thinking of doing a few more days on this extension as good will gesture then fucking off back onto my own job

Wondering g how many would do the same "

Sounds like he's taking the piss to be honest....

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By *ames250122Man
34 weeks ago

Worcester


"Look for a bit input if my decision is correct, will try and explain as briefly as possible

Currently working building my mates sister in laws extension a few points regarding this

Doing it for half my usual pay rate

Used my digger for the excavation free of charge to save on hire costs

Using my small tools for free also mixer, wacker ect

Supposed to be doing together but he missing gor 2 weeks now on his own jobs so we having to do our own mixes fetch all bricks and blocks ect while my own jobs getting further behind

I also previously built his extention for even cheaper (1/4 my usual rate)

I asked simply the other day if I could have some soil off his pile (he eventually paying for it removed) on his land and said if I call up would he loud up my truck with his jcb (5 minute job seeing as he proficient on that machine) said no load it yourself.

I know it sounds like fuck all but I been getting more and more annoyed by it all weekend.

Now I’m thinking of doing a few more days on this extension as good will gesture then fucking off back onto my own job

Wondering g how many would do the same "

Nah it’s not you mate, it’s a classic mistake of doing a mate a pretty big favour to an existences member of their family. That sadly, at one time or another back fires on all us, because they take the piss. Especially when linked in to what you do as work with construction/ landscaping.

My old neighbour was in the same trade and offered to help out mates on our street after lockdown like you and they where complete dicks to him, despite him doing it in his free time for free, while running a business and had a wife and kids. All the entitled behaviour of a customer who actually paid the proper amount for the work but added diva behaviour because as a mate or family members mate your less likely to walk off the job and a blow up/ confrontation in your social circle. If it been a normal situation and a company said we need this doing before the guys get there, move furniture to lay carpet, clear a space to dump stuff, have third party materials the customer ordered separately that they want you to use be delivered and accessible etc and the customer then refuse or not bother. The company would either charge them extra or on arrival go to the next job and say they’ll return when it’s sorted and they’re next free.

You did the decent and bigger thing and sorted it yourself for their sake, to save them money and avoid waves while they’re taking liberties.

Best advice I can give you is chalk it up to a lesson learnt about them! Don’t dwell or stew on it as it’ll end up bubbling over on something stupid and you’ll look like the one being an ass even though it’s not you. So take a breath and let it go, forget about it but don’t offer to get involved again after this job and if asked, politely say you can’t help for what ever reason you want. Other then that, the only other thing I’d say is, if another situation like that arises while on this job where you need them to do something to a) complete their home improvement b) while trying to save them cost on materials and not just equipment and man hours. Play hardball and say, look I’m trying to save you money but haven’t got (whatever) to sort it for you so you can either chip in/ help out or just give me a call when you have the materials to carry on the work. End of really because I’d like with the turf, they did nothing and it gets taken away then that’s not your problem, they’ll just have to pay to get new turf as they wasted the chance to reuse what was there

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By *929 OP   Man
34 weeks ago

bedlington


"Look for a bit input if my decision is correct, will try and explain as briefly as possible

Currently working building my mates sister in laws extension a few points regarding this

Doing it for half my usual pay rate

Used my digger for the excavation free of charge to save on hire costs

Using my small tools for free also mixer, wacker ect

Supposed to be doing together but he missing gor 2 weeks now on his own jobs so we having to do our own mixes fetch all bricks and blocks ect while my own jobs getting further behind

I also previously built his extention for even cheaper (1/4 my usual rate)

I asked simply the other day if I could have some soil off his pile (he eventually paying for it removed) on his land and said if I call up would he loud up my truck with his jcb (5 minute job seeing as he proficient on that machine) said no load it yourself.

I know it sounds like fuck all but I been getting more and more annoyed by it all weekend.

Now I’m thinking of doing a few more days on this extension as good will gesture then fucking off back onto my own job

Wondering g how many would do the same

Nah it’s not you mate, it’s a classic mistake of doing a mate a pretty big favour to an existences member of their family. That sadly, at one time or another back fires on all us, because they take the piss. Especially when linked in to what you do as work with construction/ landscaping.

My old neighbour was in the same trade and offered to help out mates on our street after lockdown like you and they where complete dicks to him, despite him doing it in his free time for free, while running a business and had a wife and kids. All the entitled behaviour of a customer who actually paid the proper amount for the work but added diva behaviour because as a mate or family members mate your less likely to walk off the job and a blow up/ confrontation in your social circle. If it been a normal situation and a company said we need this doing before the guys get there, move furniture to lay carpet, clear a space to dump stuff, have third party materials the customer ordered separately that they want you to use be delivered and accessible etc and the customer then refuse or not bother. The company would either charge them extra or on arrival go to the next job and say they’ll return when it’s sorted and they’re next free.

You did the decent and bigger thing and sorted it yourself for their sake, to save them money and avoid waves while they’re taking liberties.

Best advice I can give you is chalk it up to a lesson learnt about them! Don’t dwell or stew on it as it’ll end up bubbling over on something stupid and you’ll look like the one being an ass even though it’s not you. So take a breath and let it go, forget about it but don’t offer to get involved again after this job and if asked, politely say you can’t help for what ever reason you want. Other then that, the only other thing I’d say is, if another situation like that arises while on this job where you need them to do something to a) complete their home improvement b) while trying to save them cost on materials and not just equipment and man hours. Play hardball and say, look I’m trying to save you money but haven’t got (whatever) to sort it for you so you can either chip in/ help out or just give me a call when you have the materials to carry on the work. End of really because I’d like with the turf, they did nothing and it gets taken away then that’s not your problem, they’ll just have to pay to get new turf as they wasted the chance to reuse what was there "

Thank you mate you make great points

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
34 weeks ago

Northampton

I didn’t get past ‘mates rates’

Suck it up, get it done and never do it again. For anyone friends or family

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By *929 OP   Man
34 weeks ago

bedlington

Thank you everyone for your input I found every reply valuable and got a laugh out of some of the well deserved light hearted jokin ones

Went today and again no show he had said he would be back on site last Thursday, only enough sand and cement for two batches so laid what bricks we could with what we had and fucked off home

Not wanting to abandon the job completely I went tonight to see another friend in the same trade who has agreed to complete it over a few weekends do not leaving them high and dry. I have a job on my list of installing a patio for an elderly couple (mid 80s) the fella recently got diagnosed with terminal cancer (since pricing up the job) I been asked by they son if can get as soon as possible so he can at least get in the garden for what could be his last summer. Have decided that is far more of a priority and going to start that tomorrow

Would take a few days for more sand and cement dropped off anyways and after his refusal to even spend 5 minutes helping me load soil at weekend I won’t pick it up In my truck (have already collected trench blocks, insulation and several loads of type 1)

Thank you again for all your input

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By *itygamesMan
34 weeks ago

UK

jack it in and say i'll re start when you give me a few quid

when he pays you say ta mate , lets call it a day now. ive had enough

he aint a mate hes a user

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By *929 OP   Man
34 weeks ago

bedlington


"jack it in and say i'll re start when you give me a few quid

when he pays you say ta mate , lets call it a day now. ive had enough

he aint a mate hes a user"

True mate I see that now, still owed last weeks money as well to top all off haha

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
34 weeks ago

My boudoir - S Wales

It’s a shame that people try and get freebies/mate rates. At the end of the day you’re skilled and you should be paid accordingly. No matter who you’re working for.

I never underpay friends/family but I’ll always go to them for the work first. You’re trying to earn your living and people should respect that.

I say leave it half finished. Fuck em.

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By *a LunaWoman
34 weeks ago

South Wales


" I have a job on my list of installing a patio for an elderly couple (mid 80s) the fella recently got diagnosed with terminal cancer (since pricing up the job) I been asked by they son if can get as soon as possible so he can at least get in the garden for what could be his last summer. Have decided that is far more of a priority and going to start that tomorrow "

Good man, they’re far more deserving of your hard work and time

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By *929 OP   Man
34 weeks ago

bedlington


"It’s a shame that people try and get freebies/mate rates. At the end of the day you’re skilled and you should be paid accordingly. No matter who you’re working for.

I never underpay friends/family but I’ll always go to them for the work first. You’re trying to earn your living and people should respect that.

I say leave it half finished. Fuck em. "

Definitely it makes do much sense when put like that will never make the same mistake again, funnily enough the same lad charged another one of our mates 50 quid to hang a door 20 years ago when 50 quid was a lot more money than it is now he won’t reduce his rate for anyone

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By *929 OP   Man
34 weeks ago

bedlington


" I have a job on my list of installing a patio for an elderly couple (mid 80s) the fella recently got diagnosed with terminal cancer (since pricing up the job) I been asked by they son if can get as soon as possible so he can at least get in the garden for what could be his last summer. Have decided that is far more of a priority and going to start that tomorrow

Good man, they’re far more deserving of your hard work and time "

Thank you they definitely do

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
34 weeks ago

BRIDPORT


"It’s a shame that people try and get freebies/mate rates. At the end of the day you’re skilled and you should be paid accordingly. No matter who you’re working for.

I never underpay friends/family but I’ll always go to them for the work first. You’re trying to earn your living and people should respect that.

I say leave it half finished. Fuck em. "

I’m like that, always go to a friend first to see if they want the job, two reasons, 1 I have faith in their work and 2 if I’m shelling out on a job it might aswell go in the pocket of a friend, but never because I’m expecting them to do it on the cheap.

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