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My answers
No
No
Yes
No | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors." It's not about making judgements, cheating is cheating regardless of personal situation. People don't die from lack of sex  | |||
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"Those would be my answers too but P's wouldn't be the same." What would P's be? | |||
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"If somebody is fucking over the person they’re supposed to love, imagine how much respect they’d have for anybody else" Exactly the way I think | |||
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"People can and will do what they want, I don't agree with it and I don't want to be part of it. " They can indeed and me neither | |||
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"I think too many people here are judgemental about cheating. I don't think it's as black and white as everyone makes it out to be." Cheating is always black and white, you either do it or you don't. There's zero grey when it comes to cheating in my opinion | |||
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"I don't have blanket answers for this as the world really isn't black and white. " The world isn't but somethings you choose to do even when know you shouldn't | |||
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"Integrity is everything....... Mr " It really is the most important trait | |||
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"Though I know where I stand personally on the matter, it is really none of my business to comment on anybody's life and the choices they make. ( that is not to say you should not be asking the question) " You won't be commenting personally about anyone and I'll always ask questions because I'm nosey | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors. It's not about making judgements, cheating is cheating regardless of personal situation. People don't die from lack of sex "Hearts wither from lack of affection. Human touch is inportant. Sometimes sex is the easiest way to get that contact. For some people. I’m not talking about myself. | |||
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"What do you define as being honest about it? Dishonesty is a fairly integral part of cheating, I think." To the cheatees and yes it is | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors. It's not about making judgements, cheating is cheating regardless of personal situation. People don't die from lack of sex
Hearts wither from lack of affection. Human touch is inportant. Sometimes sex is the easiest way to get that contact. For some people.
I’m not talking about myself. "Yeah I was in a relationship and we were no longer intamate and I love and grave it. I made the choice to leave her before even talking about anything intamate with another person. The choice to leave is always there, no matter how difficult life will be after. | |||
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Not my drama and I don’t ever want it to be.
K
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"I don't have blanket answers for this as the world really isn't black and white. " ^ this | |||
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"What do you define as being honest about it? Dishonesty is a fairly integral part of cheating, I think. To the cheatees and yes it is " Exactly. I don't like to deal with liars, so I don't want to deal with people who lie to the people they supposedly care about. People are welcome to their own opinions and choices. I would just rather not get involved with that behaviour myself. | |||
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"Those would be my answers too but P's wouldn't be the same. What would P's be? " We don't have many rules but not meeting folks who cheat is a hard limit for me whereas P would meet one as she thinks their relationship is nothing to do with her. | |||
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"I don't have blanket answers for this as the world really isn't black and white. The world isn't but somethings you choose to do even when know you shouldn't " Yes. And there is the grey area because all of us at some point in our lives choose to do something we know we shouldn't. Unless you're a saint. | |||
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"I don't have blanket answers for this as the world really isn't black and white. " this, you can't judge their life, until you know why you shouldn't judge. We all make choices in life. | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors. It's not about making judgements, cheating is cheating regardless of personal situation. People don't die from lack of sex
Hearts wither from lack of affection. Human touch is inportant. Sometimes sex is the easiest way to get that contact. For some people.
I’m not talking about myself. "I am talking about myself and yes it withers and lack of touch/affection does affect a person | |||
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"I think I'd rather meet a cheat than someone who lacks empathy and the ability to make judgements based on the facts and individual circumstances. " Lacking empathy if cheating | |||
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"Lots of answers, some good and some not so much. I wonder if the people that aren't against cheating would be ok being cheated on and just say damn those grey areas but that's life" I've been cheated on for years and lied to and other stuff. Personally I'd never cheat. But I would meet guys that are cheating. | |||
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"Lots of answers, some good and some not so much. I wonder if the people that aren't against cheating would be ok being cheated on and just say damn those grey areas but that's life I've been cheated on for years and lied to and other stuff. Personally I'd never cheat. But I would meet guys that are cheating. " So you're happy to make another person feel the way you did when found out? | |||
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"I think I'd rather meet a cheat than someone who lacks empathy and the ability to make judgements based on the facts and individual circumstances. " Think you have this the wrong wat around 
I most certainly do have empathy and the ability to make judgments hence why I feel that deceit is a big no no | |||
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"Lots of answers, some good and some not so much. I wonder if the people that aren't against cheating would be ok being cheated on and just say damn those grey areas but that's life" I've been there and surprisingly I've survived it. And yes. It happened. I moved on and didn't let it eat me up. So I'm not without experience. It's through my experiences that I've come to my conclusions. Thanks for laughing at my comments. | |||
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"Lots of answers, some good and some not so much. I wonder if the people that aren't against cheating would be ok being cheated on and just say damn those grey areas but that's life I've been cheated on for years and lied to and other stuff. Personally I'd never cheat. But I would meet guys that are cheating. So you're happy to make another person feel the way you did when found out? " My partner did that, not the women he had sex with. I wouldn't deliberately go after a married man, but on here, half the guys are in relationships. | |||
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 those saying they want no part in it do you really think you can avoid it on this scene if you think you can avoid people who cheat then there are alot of naive people out there ....
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"I saw a guy a couple of times before I found out that he had a girlfriend, he said he adored her, just had a thing for older women. If you really adore someone then you don’t act on whatever your thing happens to be. " I'm not condoning the behavior of those that are just shits, but I can see that there are some people in really tough situations. And I can't judge them the same way I would those that are just out to get their kicks. That's all I'm saying. | |||
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" those saying they want no part in it do you really think you can avoid it on this scene if you think you can avoid people who cheat then there are alot of naive people out there ....
"I've been there done that and got the t-shirt  | |||
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"What always make me laugh about these threads is there are a few popular forum users here without their partners knowledge, and a lot of people are happy to flirt and meet them. I've been cheated on, I know how it can fuck someone up and it's the reason I'll never trust a guy again. But I'm also aware enough to not make assumptions that all cheaters are utter bastards and yeah, I'm here for sex not to think I'm better than anyone else so I don't really care. If that makes me a bitch so be it. " Your no bitch your just honest | |||
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" those saying they want no part in it do you really think you can avoid it on this scene if you think you can avoid people who cheat then there are alot of naive people out there ....
"No I'm not naive- do I know that a lot of people on the scene cheat - yes I do Do I know that I've potentially met a cheating person - yes I do Does it mean I condone it - absolutely not Does it mean I agree with it- absolutely not Does it mean I'm super cautious when meeting singles - hell yes to both men and women This thread is about knowing people are cheating and still engaging with them, not about be decided by said cheater. Each to their own - everyone is entitled to their own views, feelings and actions, this is just my personal view point | |||
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"So, I have waited before replying to this through fear of being shot down and some dutch courage. Im married have been with my partner for 25 years, last year I came out as Bi to her and its not been easy but a positive outcome. My wife knows im here and on another kink site and she accepts that. She knows from our discussions that she cant give me everything I need or want. All she asks for is that it does not impact our life together. If a bear shits in the woods... Basically as long as we carry on as normal and she does not know about it, it did not happen. Also safe, dont want to take anything nasty home to her! Does that make me cruel, immoral and a down and out dirty cheat? And before anyone pipes up, I offered her to do anything she desires! " Not at all 
You've discussed and been open and respectful with your wife- honest.
You're not cheating
S xxx | |||
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"Is it ok if you're honest about it? Does it really matter what their personal situation is? Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? Can you really trust someone that cheats or that doesn't care how others treat their partner? Lots of questions but it's Sunday
My answers
No
No
Yes
No"Honest with who? Yes, it matters what their personal situation is. Yes, it is just as bad if you know someone is going behind their partners back but see my answers above. Yes you can really trust those people. Everyone tailors the truth they tell according to the situation they're in and almost everyone lies to get sex. | |||
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"So, I have waited before replying to this through fear of being shot down and some dutch courage. Im married have been with my partner for 25 years, last year I came out as Bi to her and its not been easy but a positive outcome. My wife knows im here and on another kink site and she accepts that. She knows from our discussions that she cant give me everything I need or want. All she asks for is that it does not impact our life together. If a bear shits in the woods... Basically as long as we carry on as normal and she does not know about it, it did not happen. Also safe, dont want to take anything nasty home to her! Does that make me cruel, immoral and a down and out dirty cheat? And before anyone pipes up, I offered her to do anything she desires! " You've gone about it the right way and she knows so it's not cheating | |||
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"So, I have waited before replying to this through fear of being shot down and some dutch courage. Im married have been with my partner for 25 years, last year I came out as Bi to her and its not been easy but a positive outcome. My wife knows im here and on another kink site and she accepts that. She knows from our discussions that she cant give me everything I need or want. All she asks for is that it does not impact our life together. If a bear shits in the woods... Basically as long as we carry on as normal and she does not know about it, it did not happen. Also safe, dont want to take anything nasty home to her! Does that make me cruel, immoral and a down and out dirty cheat? And before anyone pipes up, I offered her to do anything she desires! You've gone about it the right way and she knows so it's not cheating " You have the OP's blessing, child. | |||
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"Is it ok if you're honest about it? Does it really matter what their personal situation is? Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? Can you really trust someone that cheats or that doesn't care how others treat their partner? Lots of questions but it's Sunday
My answers
No
No
Yes
No
Honest with who?
Yes, it matters what their personal situation is.
Yes, it is just as bad if you know someone is going behind their partners back but see my answers above.
Yes you can really trust those people. Everyone tailors the truth they tell according to the situation they're in and almost everyone lies to get sex. "Honest with the cheatees and I'm glad I'm not almost everyone, I'd never lie to get sex | |||
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"So, I have waited before replying to this through fear of being shot down and some dutch courage. Im married have been with my partner for 25 years, last year I came out as Bi to her and its not been easy but a positive outcome. My wife knows im here and on another kink site and she accepts that. She knows from our discussions that she cant give me everything I need or want. All she asks for is that it does not impact our life together. If a bear shits in the woods... Basically as long as we carry on as normal and she does not know about it, it did not happen. Also safe, dont want to take anything nasty home to her! Does that make me cruel, immoral and a down and out dirty cheat? And before anyone pipes up, I offered her to do anything she desires! You've gone about it the right way and she knows so it's not cheating You have the OP's blessing, child. " He's a honest empath I reckon | |||
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"Lots of answers, some good and some not so much. I wonder if the people that aren't against cheating would be ok being cheated on and just say damn those grey areas but that's life I've been cheated on for years and lied to and other stuff. Personally I'd never cheat. But I would meet guys that are cheating. So you're happy to make another person feel the way you did when found out? My partner did that, not the women he had sex with. I wouldn't deliberately go after a married man, but on here, half the guys are in relationships. " This is about knowing they're cheating though and still meeting | |||
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"People make all sorts of excuses about cheating, and justifications for it. There isn't any valid reason in my eyes or justification. Be honest with your partner and they can then choose to stay, go or whatever. People who knowingly engage with a cheater are equally as bad in my eyes. There are plenty of unattached people out there. Choose one of those. Just totally selfish, self indulgent and a few other words I can think of...." Exactly, it's not difficult to be a honest and say you aren't feeling completely satisfied. If you talk about it then the situation will improve one way or another | |||
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" Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? " I’ve chosen to just answer this point OP as I can… No. It’s nothing like that. Cheating is lying pure and simple. The person cheating is the liar. The person who is having the sex with said person is not an enabler, a liar or anything else. That being said far too often in this world “the other woman” has the finger pointed at them. That says a lot more about society and its lack of moral judgement than I ever need to type here - so fuck that! If I’m single I fuck who I want. If I’m in a couple I don’t. Simples really  | |||
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"I've mentioned this before. We knew a woman who cared 24/7 for her husband had advanced dementia and was bed bound. When he was in despite care now and again she'd have a guy visit her. I can't see how she could have been honest with her husband who didn't even recognise her and I can't find it within myself to blame her."
Dirty lying cheater!! | |||
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" Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? I’ve chosen to just answer this point OP as I can… No. It’s nothing like that. Cheating is lying pure and simple. The person cheating is the liar. The person who is having the sex with said person is not an enabler, a liar or anything else. That being said far too often in this world “the other woman” has the finger pointed at them. That says a lot more about society and its lack of moral judgement than I ever need to type here - so fuck that! If I’m single I fuck who I want. If I’m in a couple I don’t. Simples really "The cheatees are enabling the cheater though because they're giving them sex, so how are they not as bad? | |||
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" Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? I’ve chosen to just answer this point OP as I can… No. It’s nothing like that. Cheating is lying pure and simple. The person cheating is the liar. The person who is having the sex with said person is not an enabler, a liar or anything else. That being said far too often in this world “the other woman” has the finger pointed at them. That says a lot more about society and its lack of moral judgement than I ever need to type here - so fuck that! If I’m single I fuck who I want. If I’m in a couple I don’t. Simples really
The cheatees are enabling the cheater though because they're giving them sex, so how are they not as bad?
"They are not enablers. The cheaters decided to cheat. That is their business not the person they’re having sex with. | |||
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" Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? I’ve chosen to just answer this point OP as I can… No. It’s nothing like that. Cheating is lying pure and simple. The person cheating is the liar. The person who is having the sex with said person is not an enabler, a liar or anything else. That being said far too often in this world “the other woman” has the finger pointed at them. That says a lot more about society and its lack of moral judgement than I ever need to type here - so fuck that! If I’m single I fuck who I want. If I’m in a couple I don’t. Simples really
The cheatees are enabling the cheater though because they're giving them sex, so how are they not as bad?
"Then we're all fucked I reckon | |||
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"Then we're all fucked I reckon "That’s kind of the idea, yes. | |||
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"I've mentioned this before. We knew a woman who cared 24/7 for her husband had advanced dementia and was bed bound. When he was in despite care now and again she'd have a guy visit her. I can't see how she could have been honest with her husband who didn't even recognise her and I can't find it within myself to blame her.
Dirty lying cheater!! "Now this I can feel compassion and understanding for - I'm big enough and old enough to accept that I hadn't thought of situations like this. However I do feel these type of situations on here are rarer than the usual cheating types so my previous comments still stand for the majority. This thread is about the general 'Cheaters' and my comments have been aimed and responded to as such. Medical illnesses such as these leave no room for discussion between partners so are difficult to comment on. But do I feel for the lady in this situation- yes I do, do I blame her- no I don't | |||
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" Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? I’ve chosen to just answer this point OP as I can… No. It’s nothing like that. Cheating is lying pure and simple. The person cheating is the liar. The person who is having the sex with said person is not an enabler, a liar or anything else. That being said far too often in this world “the other woman” has the finger pointed at them. That says a lot more about society and its lack of moral judgement than I ever need to type here - so fuck that! If I’m single I fuck who I want. If I’m in a couple I don’t. Simples really
The cheatees are enabling the cheater though because they're giving them sex, so how are they not as bad?
"Because I haven't made a commitment to anyone. | |||
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"I've mentioned this before. We knew a woman who cared 24/7 for her husband had advanced dementia and was bed bound. When he was in despite care now and again she'd have a guy visit her. I can't see how she could have been honest with her husband who didn't even recognise her and I can't find it within myself to blame her." Well she couldn't as he wouldn't have a clue but she made a promise when got married, in sickness and in health and all that. I'd not get in a relationship again because I know I like sex etc too much to possibly rule out having it in the future if my partner fell permanently ill or we just simply didn't get on etc. Life is complicated but somethings we can choose to do or not do but everyone will do what they want. | |||
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"I've mentioned this before. We knew a woman who cared 24/7 for her husband had advanced dementia and was bed bound. When he was in despite care now and again she'd have a guy visit her. I can't see how she could have been honest with her husband who didn't even recognise her and I can't find it within myself to blame her.
Dirty lying cheater!!
Now this I can feel compassion and understanding for - I'm big enough and old enough to accept that I hadn't thought of situations like this.
However I do feel these type of situations on here are rarer than the usual cheating types so my previous comments still stand for the majority.
This thread is about the general 'Cheaters' and my comments have been aimed and responded to as such.
Medical illnesses such as these leave no room for discussion between partners so are difficult to comment on.
But do I feel for the lady in this situation- yes I do, do I blame her- no I don't "Well some of us had thought of that. Hence my comments about not being black and white. | |||
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"I've mentioned this before. We knew a woman who cared 24/7 for her husband had advanced dementia and was bed bound. When he was in despite care now and again she'd have a guy visit her. I can't see how she could have been honest with her husband who didn't even recognise her and I can't find it within myself to blame her.
Dirty lying cheater!!
Now this I can feel compassion and understanding for - I'm big enough and old enough to accept that I hadn't thought of situations like this.
However I do feel these type of situations on here are rarer than the usual cheating types so my previous comments still stand for the majority.
This thread is about the general 'Cheaters' and my comments have been aimed and responded to as such.
Medical illnesses such as these leave no room for discussion between partners so are difficult to comment on.
But do I feel for the lady in this situation- yes I do, do I blame her- no I don't
Well some of us had thought of that. Hence my comments about not being black and white. "How many of the above situations have you come across? I bet its not that many
Your comments habe defended the act of cheating not the act of being in such a difficult situation that you had no choice | |||
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" Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? I’ve chosen to just answer this point OP as I can… No. It’s nothing like that. Cheating is lying pure and simple. The person cheating is the liar. The person who is having the sex with said person is not an enabler, a liar or anything else. That being said far too often in this world “the other woman” has the finger pointed at them. That says a lot more about society and its lack of moral judgement than I ever need to type here - so fuck that! If I’m single I fuck who I want. If I’m in a couple I don’t. Simples really
The cheatees are enabling the cheater though because they're giving them sex, so how are they not as bad?
Because I haven't made a commitment to anyone. "This. 100% | |||
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"Cheating is black and white if its done behind the partners back. If the partner knows and allows it then its not cheating but unfaithfulness. There maybe dozens of reasons why someone has sex behind their partners back but it is still cheating" How is it being unfaithful if your partners knows and allows it? Surely that's ENM. | |||
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" Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? I’ve chosen to just answer this point OP as I can… No. It’s nothing like that. Cheating is lying pure and simple. The person cheating is the liar. The person who is having the sex with said person is not an enabler, a liar or anything else. That being said far too often in this world “the other woman” has the finger pointed at them. That says a lot more about society and its lack of moral judgement than I ever need to type here - so fuck that! If I’m single I fuck who I want. If I’m in a couple I don’t. Simples really
The cheatees are enabling the cheater though because they're giving them sex, so how are they not as bad?
Because I haven't made a commitment to anyone. "That's not the point, you know they did and you're putting your needs before their partners and it doesn't matter if you don't know them | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors." There's your answers op. Simplistic generalisations and moral judgements of others are rarely accurate for everybody in every situation. | |||
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"I've mentioned this before. We knew a woman who cared 24/7 for her husband had advanced dementia and was bed bound. When he was in despite care now and again she'd have a guy visit her. I can't see how she could have been honest with her husband who didn't even recognise her and I can't find it within myself to blame her. Well she couldn't as he wouldn't have a clue but she made a promise when got married, in sickness and in health and all that. I'd not get in a relationship again because I know I like sex etc too much to possibly rule out having it in the future if my partner fell permanently ill or we just simply didn't get on etc. Life is complicated but somethings we can choose to do or not do but everyone will do what they want. " I doubt either of them envisaged this situation when they got married. | |||
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" Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? I’ve chosen to just answer this point OP as I can… No. It’s nothing like that. Cheating is lying pure and simple. The person cheating is the liar. The person who is having the sex with said person is not an enabler, a liar or anything else. That being said far too often in this world “the other woman” has the finger pointed at them. That says a lot more about society and its lack of moral judgement than I ever need to type here - so fuck that! If I’m single I fuck who I want. If I’m in a couple I don’t. Simples really
The cheatees are enabling the cheater though because they're giving them sex, so how are they not as bad?
Because I haven't made a commitment to anyone.
That's not the point, you know they did and you're putting your needs before their partners and it doesn't matter if you don't know them "It is the point. I can't cheat if I haven't made a commitment to anyone. | |||
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" Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? I’ve chosen to just answer this point OP as I can… No. It’s nothing like that. Cheating is lying pure and simple. The person cheating is the liar. The person who is having the sex with said person is not an enabler, a liar or anything else. That being said far too often in this world “the other woman” has the finger pointed at them. That says a lot more about society and its lack of moral judgement than I ever need to type here - so fuck that! If I’m single I fuck who I want. If I’m in a couple I don’t. Simples really
The cheatees are enabling the cheater though because they're giving them sex, so how are they not as bad?
Because I haven't made a commitment to anyone.
That's not the point, you know they did and you're putting your needs before their partners and it doesn't matter if you don't know them "At what point do you actually stop considering everyone else before yourself? When you're in a deep depression? Fuck that. I'm not mother Theresa. Some things I just don't have the capacity to worry about. Someone else's relationship is their look out. Not mine. | |||
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"It doesn't matter to me if someone is in a relationship or not. If they did t have sex with me they would be having it with someone else" 100%. It is THEIR choice to cheat. Not mine | |||
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"So, I have waited before replying to this through fear of being shot down and some dutch courage. Im married have been with my partner for 25 years, last year I came out as Bi to her and its not been easy but a positive outcome. My wife knows im here and on another kink site and she accepts that. She knows from our discussions that she cant give me everything I need or want. All she asks for is that it does not impact our life together. If a bear shits in the woods... Basically as long as we carry on as normal and she does not know about it, it did not happen. Also safe, dont want to take anything nasty home to her! Does that make me cruel, immoral and a down and out dirty cheat? And before anyone pipes up, I offered her to do anything she desires! You've gone about it the right way and she knows so it's not cheating You have the OP's blessing, child. He's a honest empath I reckon " I am as honest as I can be, might be my downfall, very empathetic! | |||
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"If somebody is fucking over the person they’re supposed to love, imagine how much respect they’d have for anybody else Exactly the way I think" Are people allowed to think differently? | |||
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"I've mentioned this before. We knew a woman who cared 24/7 for her husband had advanced dementia and was bed bound. When he was in despite care now and again she'd have a guy visit her. I can't see how she could have been honest with her husband who didn't even recognise her and I can't find it within myself to blame her.
Dirty lying cheater!!
Now this I can feel compassion and understanding for - I'm big enough and old enough to accept that I hadn't thought of situations like this.
However I do feel these type of situations on here are rarer than the usual cheating types so my previous comments still stand for the majority.
This thread is about the general 'Cheaters' and my comments have been aimed and responded to as such.
Medical illnesses such as these leave no room for discussion between partners so are difficult to comment on.
But do I feel for the lady in this situation- yes I do, do I blame her- no I don't
Well some of us had thought of that. Hence my comments about not being black and white.
How many of the above situations have you come across? I bet its not that many
Your comments habe defended the act of cheating not the act of being in such a difficult situation that you had no choice "No I said it's not black and white so I don't have a blanket answer. | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors. It's not about making judgements, cheating is cheating regardless of personal situation. People don't die from lack of sex
Hearts wither from lack of affection. Human touch is inportant. Sometimes sex is the easiest way to get that contact. For some people.
I’m not talking about myself.
Yeah I was in a relationship and we were no longer intamate and I love and grave it.
I made the choice to leave her before even talking about anything intamate with another person.
The choice to leave is always there, no matter how difficult life will be after. "But if you don't want to leave. Love the other half regardless, lobe the family set up, and everything else is ok, but you crave affection and want. What then? Better to seek it elsewhere than destroy a family. I'm not expecting back up or sympathy from anyone. It's my deck of cards | |||
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"But if you don't want to leave. Love the other half regardless, lobe the family set up, and everything else is ok, but you crave affection and want. What then? Better to seek it elsewhere than destroy a family. I'm not expecting back up or sympathy from anyone. It's my deck of cards" It sounds like choosing your own comfort and happiness over giving the person you supposedly love the ability to make an informed choice about their own life. | |||
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"If somebody is fucking over the person they’re supposed to love, imagine how much respect they’d have for anybody else Exactly the way I think Are people allowed to think differently? " No apparently, only to judge | |||
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"But if you don't want to leave. Love the other half regardless, lobe the family set up, and everything else is ok, but you crave affection and want. What then? Better to seek it elsewhere than destroy a family. I'm not expecting back up or sympathy from anyone. It's my deck of cards It sounds like choosing your own comfort and happiness over giving the person you supposedly love the ability to make an informed choice about their own life." "But if you don't want to leave. Love the other half regardless, lobe the family set up, and everything else is ok, but you crave affection and want. What then? Better to seek it elsewhere than destroy a family. I'm not expecting back up or sympathy from anyone. It's my deck of cards It sounds like choosing your own comfort and happiness over giving the person you supposedly love the ability to make an informed choice about their own life." It's not about choosing my own comfort at all. you may think it's being selfish or self centred but I'm probably in a better position to inform you that we both love each other. The family unit is strong. There is just no physical contact due to her living in constant pain. I declare this and if anyone chooses to meet they know. Without trying to (but will no doubt anyway) sound condescending I would welcome any pointers from people that know nothing of our personal circumstances to proffer advice on this one. Telling her I'm seeking affection/sex from others isn't an option. The floor is yours (plural) | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors. It's not about making judgements, cheating is cheating regardless of personal situation. People don't die from lack of sex
Hearts wither from lack of affection. Human touch is inportant. Sometimes sex is the easiest way to get that contact. For some people.
I’m not talking about myself.
Yeah I was in a relationship and we were no longer intamate and I love and grave it.
I made the choice to leave her before even talking about anything intamate with another person.
The choice to leave is always there, no matter how difficult life will be after.
But if you don't want to leave. Love the other half regardless, lobe the family set up, and everything else is ok, but you crave affection and want. What then? Better to seek it elsewhere than destroy a family. I'm not expecting back up or sympathy from anyone. It's my deck of cards"I think you may be missing the point here, just blindly going sneaking around poking whoever will have it behind her back is not respectful. If you get caught that will be more devastating to your family unit than actually sitting down and talking about it. If you want to stay in the current unit you are in have some respect and talk about it! If he/she does not want to then you leave. And that is from my experience, I was prepared to leave! | |||
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"It's not about choosing my own comfort at all. you may think it's being selfish or self centred but I'm probably in a better position to inform you that we both love each other. The family unit is strong. There is just no physical contact due to her living in constant pain. I declare this and if anyone chooses to meet they know. Without trying to (but will no doubt anyway) sound condescending I would welcome any pointers from people that know nothing of our personal circumstances to proffer advice on this one. Telling her I'm seeking affection/sex from others isn't an option. The floor is yours (plural) " Why isn't it an option? Is she incapable of understanding the situation? Of being able to make her own choices based on facts rather than fiction? I have no issue sleeping with people with their spouses consent. But keeping that information from them specifically because it would hurt them, but choosing to go ahead and do it anyway, it just doesn't sit right with me. | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors. It's not about making judgements, cheating is cheating regardless of personal situation. People don't die from lack of sex
Hearts wither from lack of affection. Human touch is inportant. Sometimes sex is the easiest way to get that contact. For some people.
I’m not talking about myself.
Yeah I was in a relationship and we were no longer intamate and I love and grave it.
I made the choice to leave her before even talking about anything intamate with another person.
The choice to leave is always there, no matter how difficult life will be after.
But if you don't want to leave. Love the other half regardless, lobe the family set up, and everything else is ok, but you crave affection and want. What then? Better to seek it elsewhere than destroy a family. I'm not expecting back up or sympathy from anyone. It's my deck of cards
I think you may be missing the point here, just blindly going sneaking around poking whoever will have it behind her back is not respectful. If you get caught that will be more devastating to your family unit than actually sitting down and talking about it. If you want to stay in the current unit you are in have some respect and talk about it! If he/she does not want to then you leave.
And that is from my experience, I was prepared to leave!"Again, you are not really involved in my family unit. Did you walk out on a family? | |||
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"It's not about choosing my own comfort at all. you may think it's being selfish or self centred but I'm probably in a better position to inform you that we both love each other. The family unit is strong. There is just no physical contact due to her living in constant pain. I declare this and if anyone chooses to meet they know. Without trying to (but will no doubt anyway) sound condescending I would welcome any pointers from people that know nothing of our personal circumstances to proffer advice on this one. Telling her I'm seeking affection/sex from others isn't an option. The floor is yours (plural) Why isn't it an option? Is she incapable of understanding the situation? Of being able to make her own choices based on facts rather than fiction? I have no issue sleeping with people with their spouses consent. But keeping that information from them specifically because it would hurt them, but choosing to go ahead and do it anyway, it just doesn't sit right with me." It's simple. You do not know my wife. I do. Been married long enough to her. Give her all the care she requires and everything else. To outsiders, the perfect marriage, full of fun. It would end the family if I hinted at it. | |||
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"It's simple. You do not know my wife. I do. Been married long enough to her. Give her all the care she requires and everything else. To outsiders, the perfect marriage, full of fun. It would end the family if I hinted at it. " So you choose to do something behind her back that you know would hurt her to know you were doing. That's your choice. You do you. I don't agree with the morality and I feel for your wife. But your choices are your own to make. And the way people view those choices is up to them. | |||
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"It's simple. You do not know my wife. I do. Been married long enough to her. Give her all the care she requires and everything else. To outsiders, the perfect marriage, full of fun. It would end the family if I hinted at it. So you choose to do something behind her back that you know would hurt her to know you were doing. That's your choice. You do you. I don't agree with the morality and I feel for your wife. But your choices are your own to make. And the way people view those choices is up to them." I actually couldn't agree more. | |||
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"I think too many people here are judgemental about cheating. I don't think it's as black and white as everyone makes it out to be." Have to agree with you on that point | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors. It's not about making judgements, cheating is cheating regardless of personal situation. People don't die from lack of sex
Hearts wither from lack of affection. Human touch is inportant. Sometimes sex is the easiest way to get that contact. For some people.
I’m not talking about myself.
Yeah I was in a relationship and we were no longer intamate and I love and grave it.
I made the choice to leave her before even talking about anything intamate with another person.
The choice to leave is always there, no matter how difficult life will be after.
But if you don't want to leave. Love the other half regardless, lobe the family set up, and everything else is ok, but you crave affection and want. What then? Better to seek it elsewhere than destroy a family. I'm not expecting back up or sympathy from anyone. It's my deck of cards"How do you think your wife would feel knowing you were fucking others behind her back? If that's what "love" is these days then I much prefer staying single! | |||
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" Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? I’ve chosen to just answer this point OP as I can… No. It’s nothing like that. Cheating is lying pure and simple. The person cheating is the liar. The person who is having the sex with said person is not an enabler, a liar or anything else. That being said far too often in this world “the other woman” has the finger pointed at them. That says a lot more about society and its lack of moral judgement than I ever need to type here - so fuck that! If I’m single I fuck who I want. If I’m in a couple I don’t. Simples really
The cheatees are enabling the cheater though because they're giving them sex, so how are they not as bad?
Because I haven't made a commitment to anyone. "It really is that simple. A and B made a commitment to each other of some level of exclusivity; C did not. If I'm A I'm pissed off with B not C. | |||
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"A and B made a commitment to each other of some level of exclusivity; C did not. If I'm A I'm pissed off with B not C." Having been C without knowing that B even had an A, and having A and her mother show up screaming on the doorstep of my own home when I had literally no knowledge of the situation at all. I'm pissed off with B too | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors. It's not about making judgements, cheating is cheating regardless of personal situation. People don't die from lack of sex
Hearts wither from lack of affection. Human touch is inportant. Sometimes sex is the easiest way to get that contact. For some people.
I’m not talking about myself.
Yeah I was in a relationship and we were no longer intamate and I love and grave it.
I made the choice to leave her before even talking about anything intamate with another person.
The choice to leave is always there, no matter how difficult life will be after.
But if you don't want to leave. Love the other half regardless, lobe the family set up, and everything else is ok, but you crave affection and want. What then? Better to seek it elsewhere than destroy a family. I'm not expecting back up or sympathy from anyone. It's my deck of cards
How do you think your wife would feel knowing you were fucking others behind her back?
If that's what "love" is these days then I much prefer staying single!"She would be an 'A'. If she knew. My plan is for her not to know. | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors. It's not about making judgements, cheating is cheating regardless of personal situation. People don't die from lack of sex
Hearts wither from lack of affection. Human touch is inportant. Sometimes sex is the easiest way to get that contact. For some people.
I’m not talking about myself.
Yeah I was in a relationship and we were no longer intamate and I love and grave it.
I made the choice to leave her before even talking about anything intamate with another person.
The choice to leave is always there, no matter how difficult life will be after.
But if you don't want to leave. Love the other half regardless, lobe the family set up, and everything else is ok, but you crave affection and want. What then? Better to seek it elsewhere than destroy a family. I'm not expecting back up or sympathy from anyone. It's my deck of cards
How do you think your wife would feel knowing you were fucking others behind her back?
If that's what "love" is these days then I much prefer staying single!
She would be an 'A'. If she knew. My plan is for her not to know."Hopefully for your wife's sake and sanity she never finds out about your betrayal which possibly would destroy her....but as you say....that's love | |||
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"It's simple. You do not know my wife. I do. Been married long enough to her. Give her all the care she requires and everything else. To outsiders, the perfect marriage, full of fun. It would end the family if I hinted at it. So you choose to do something behind her back that you know would hurt her to know you were doing. That's your choice. You do you. I don't agree with the morality and I feel for your wife. But your choices are your own to make. And the way people view those choices is up to them. I actually couldn't agree more." Moi aussi, that's a key thing for me. A partner doing something, which they know will hurt me and hiding it. A huge betrayal of trust for me. I wouldn't see that person the same way after that. | |||
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"To add. I am sure most on here either have been or currently are an A, B or C. Willingly or not." Maybe and I feel for all A's, B's know better and so do some of the C's You either care about your partner and stay loyal or care more about having sex and a easy life. I feel for those that don't have the balls to talk to their partner as that's a big part of relationships and most things can be resolved but if found cheating then it will cause a lot more problems than it would if actually communicated. You either care about the people around you or you don't and you can't say you care if doing things you know will hurt them. | |||
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"A and B made a commitment to each other of some level of exclusivity; C did not. If I'm A I'm pissed off with B not C. Having been C without knowing that B even had an A, and having A and her mother show up screaming on the doorstep of my own home when I had literally no knowledge of the situation at all. I'm pissed off with B too "B managed to negate your informed decision and A's. I'm almost intrigued to know the mental gymnastics B pulled out of their arse to try and justify that one. | |||
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"Cheating is not just about sex though, even though this thread is preoccupied with it. Plenty have emotional affairs without having sex. " Yes and I'd find that way more difficult to deal with | |||
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"I've mentioned this before. We knew a woman who cared 24/7 for her husband had advanced dementia and was bed bound. When he was in despite care now and again she'd have a guy visit her. I can't see how she could have been honest with her husband who didn't even recognise her and I can't find it within myself to blame her. Well she couldn't as he wouldn't have a clue but she made a promise when got married, in sickness and in health and all that. I'd not get in a relationship again because I know I like sex etc too much to possibly rule out having it in the future if my partner fell permanently ill or we just simply didn't get on etc. Life is complicated but somethings we can choose to do or not do but everyone will do what they want. " So do you approve or not of that scenario? After all, it's black and white and no areas for grey.? | |||
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"It doesn't matter to me if someone is in a relationship or not. If they did t have sex with me they would be having it with someone else" Would they be cheating on you then? Bastards | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors. It's not about making judgements, cheating is cheating regardless of personal situation. People don't die from lack of sex
Hearts wither from lack of affection. Human touch is inportant. Sometimes sex is the easiest way to get that contact. For some people.
I’m not talking about myself.
Yeah I was in a relationship and we were no longer intamate and I love and grave it.
I made the choice to leave her before even talking about anything intamate with another person.
The choice to leave is always there, no matter how difficult life will be after.
But if you don't want to leave. Love the other half regardless, lobe the family set up, and everything else is ok, but you crave affection and want. What then? Better to seek it elsewhere than destroy a family. I'm not expecting back up or sympathy from anyone. It's my deck of cards
I think you may be missing the point here, just blindly going sneaking around poking whoever will have it behind her back is not respectful. If you get caught that will be more devastating to your family unit than actually sitting down and talking about it. If you want to stay in the current unit you are in have some respect and talk about it! If he/she does not want to then you leave.
And that is from my experience, I was prepared to leave!"What works for you, may not work for everyone else in every other situation. Kind of arrogant to assume that it would no? | |||
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"A and B made a commitment to each other of some level of exclusivity; C did not. If I'm A I'm pissed off with B not C. Having been C without knowing that B even had an A, and having A and her mother show up screaming on the doorstep of my own home when I had literally no knowledge of the situation at all. I'm pissed off with B too
B managed to negate your informed decision and A's. I'm almost intrigued to know the mental gymnastics B pulled out of their arse to try and justify that one."I didn't realise algebra was involved but maths has the answer to everything apparently | |||
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"Cheating is not just about sex though, even though this thread is preoccupied with it. Plenty have emotional affairs without having sex. " You're right, can cheat just by messaging and phone calls and just by being on a site like this one | |||
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"I've mentioned this before. We knew a woman who cared 24/7 for her husband had advanced dementia and was bed bound. When he was in despite care now and again she'd have a guy visit her. I can't see how she could have been honest with her husband who didn't even recognise her and I can't find it within myself to blame her. Well she couldn't as he wouldn't have a clue but she made a promise when got married, in sickness and in health and all that. I'd not get in a relationship again because I know I like sex etc too much to possibly rule out having it in the future if my partner fell permanently ill or we just simply didn't get on etc. Life is complicated but somethings we can choose to do or not do but everyone will do what they want. So do you approve or not of that scenario? After all, it's black and white and no areas for grey.? " No I don't agree with it | |||
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"Is it ok if you're honest about it? Does it really matter what their personal situation is? Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? Can you really trust someone that cheats or that doesn't care how others treat their partner?" If you’re being honest about it, then either you’ve already cheated, lied and are coming clean, or it’s already been pre-agreed you can see other people and then it’s not cheating. I think the person who is in a relationship is worse, but if you knowingly pursue someone who you know is attached/unavailable, then it’s a shitty thing to do. I don’t really trust anyone. I think cheating is an extremely easy thing to do, if you aren’t careful about the environment that you choose to put yourself in. I think out of respect for your partner, you should be mindful of giving the wrong impression or being in a position where it’s easy for lines to be crossed. That’s my 2p’s worth anyways. | |||
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"Might cheat me once Won’t let you cheat me twice" What about three times? | |||
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"Cheating is not just about sex though, even though this thread is preoccupied with it. Plenty have emotional affairs without having sex. Yes and I'd find that way more difficult to deal with"
Cheating is about betrayal of trust for me and the emotional is a deeper wound than the physical. | |||
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"Cheating is not just about sex though, even though this thread is preoccupied with it. Plenty have emotional affairs without having sex. " • What constitutes an emotional affair? Tarquin has a male friend - Bertram. They're both married and both straight, and tell each other everything. They're very close and there's a deep-rooted connection between them, despite not being bonded within any bloodline, Tarquin is with all intents and purposes his kin, his kith and his 'confidente'. There is love between them but not attraction. There is salacious chat but no lust. If Bertram was instead a woman — Gertrude — would that change the perception and moral acceptability of Tarquin engaging with her? Perhaps if Bertram started to flirt with her, would that break the boundary of what is acceptable? | |||
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"Might cheat me once Won’t let you cheat me twice What about three times? " How many beers had I had? | |||
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"Might cheat me once Won’t let you cheat me twice" How many times will you let someone trick you? | |||
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"Might cheat me once Won’t let you cheat me twice How many times will you let someone trick you? " Get out. It’s been a long afternoon ok! | |||
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"Cheating is not just about sex though, even though this thread is preoccupied with it. Plenty have emotional affairs without having sex. • What constitutes an emotional affair? Tarquin has a male friend - Bertram. They're both married and both straight, and tell each other everything. They're very close and there's a deep-rooted connection between them, despite not being bonded within any bloodline, Tarquin is with all intents and purposes his kin, his kith and his 'confidente'. There is love between them but not attraction. There is salacious chat but no lust. If Bertram was instead a woman — Gertrude — would that change the perception and moral acceptability of Tarquin engaging with her? Perhaps if Bertram started to flirt with her, would that break the boundary of what is acceptable?" I think it's the attraction that changes it. And the willingness to let your partner know about the relationship. As soon as there is a reluctance to share/desire to conceal then the boundary is crossed. J | |||
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"Cheating is not just about sex though, even though this thread is preoccupied with it. Plenty have emotional affairs without having sex. • What constitutes an emotional affair? Tarquin has a male friend - Bertram. They're both married and both straight, and tell each other everything. They're very close and there's a deep-rooted connection between them, despite not being bonded within any bloodline, Tarquin is with all intents and purposes his kin, his kith and his 'confidente'. There is love between them but not attraction. There is salacious chat but no lust. If Bertram was instead a woman — Gertrude — would that change the perception and moral acceptability of Tarquin engaging with her? Perhaps if Bertram started to flirt with her, would that break the boundary of what is acceptable?" It's when they turn to their friend first above their partner. Put their friends feelings before their partner. Tarquin hides how much contact they have with their friend because deep down he knows the amount of time spent on his friend is not typical. | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors. It's not about making judgements, cheating is cheating regardless of personal situation. People don't die from lack of sex
Hearts wither from lack of affection. Human touch is inportant. Sometimes sex is the easiest way to get that contact. For some people.
I’m not talking about myself.
Yeah I was in a relationship and we were no longer intamate and I love and grave it.
I made the choice to leave her before even talking about anything intamate with another person.
The choice to leave is always there, no matter how difficult life will be after.
But if you don't want to leave. Love the other half regardless, lobe the family set up, and everything else is ok, but you crave affection and want. What then? Better to seek it elsewhere than destroy a family. I'm not expecting back up or sympathy from anyone. It's my deck of cards
I think you may be missing the point here, just blindly going sneaking around poking whoever will have it behind her back is not respectful. If you get caught that will be more devastating to your family unit than actually sitting down and talking about it. If you want to stay in the current unit you are in have some respect and talk about it! If he/she does not want to then you leave.
And that is from my experience, I was prepared to leave!
Again, you are not really involved in my family unit. Did you walk out on a family?"Yes I did, my previous partner and my son! It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, but I think we are all better off for it! | |||
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"I think it's the attraction that changes it. And the willingness to let your partner know about the relationship. As soon as there is a reluctance to share/desire to conceal then the boundary is crossed. J" For me it's the hiding it. I'm happy for my partners to have close friends, other lovers, even ones that come above me in their hierarchy as long as that is communicated clearly and everyone is happy with that situation. I don't need to know details, just a heads up if something is becoming serious enough to impact our own relationship. When they choose to hide someone or the depth of their relationship from me, that's a betrayal. I love when they love other people. I don't love when they lie to me. Including by deliberate omission. Especially when they know the truth would be painful for me | |||
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"I think it's the attraction that changes it. And the willingness to let your partner know about the relationship. As soon as there is a reluctance to share/desire to conceal then the boundary is crossed. J For me it's the hiding it. I'm happy for my partners to have close friends, other lovers, even ones that come above me in their hierarchy as long as that is communicated clearly and everyone is happy with that situation. I don't need to know details, just a heads up if something is becoming serious enough to impact our own relationship. When they choose to hide someone or the depth of their relationship from me, that's a betrayal. I love when they love other people. I don't love when they lie to me. Including by deliberate omission. Especially when they know the truth would be painful for me "Love | |||
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"I think cheating is black and white as in we all know it is obviously wrong and it should never happen. I don't think anyone can deny that. But once you start to look deeper into the relationship you begin to see it from a different point of view. I think for some people it's utter pure greed... but I have spoken to a few men and I completely understand why people end up going down that road rather than ending the relationship." Full of contradictions! Either it's black and white or it isn't!? | |||
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"I think cheating is black and white as in we all know it is obviously wrong and it should never happen. I don't think anyone can deny that. But once you start to look deeper into the relationship you begin to see it from a different point of view. I think for some people it's utter pure greed... but I have spoken to a few men and I completely understand why people end up going down that road rather than ending the relationship. Full of contradictions! Either it's black and white or it isn't!?" It's black and white in that cheating is wrong. But that doesn't mean it isn't understandable in certain relationships. I don't really give a shit if you think my opinion is full of contradictions. | |||
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"Life is complicated, and rarely black or white even if some people think it is. I envy them, my life is complicated and conflicted. " It's true, the context of the why is never black and white. There are all kinds of endless possibilities of reasons and things for people to try to justify cheating. However it's a yes or no decision as to if you do cheat or not. It's a choice, 100% a choice of free will to cheat. It's not life or death, there is no gun to your head. There are other options to resolve said problems. Blaming the journey is a cop out that is overused to excuse the destination. I'm not judging anyone for their actual choice. You do you, not my business what you actually choose to do. I'm empathetic to those that have cheated sometimes, some have very touching stories. But don't try and make the action any less or more than what it is, the act of deceiving a partner, for your own benefit. That is very fucking black and white. | |||
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"I think cheating is black and white as in we all know it is obviously wrong and it should never happen. I don't think anyone can deny that. But once you start to look deeper into the relationship you begin to see it from a different point of view. I think for some people it's utter pure greed... but I have spoken to a few men and I completely understand why people end up going down that road rather than ending the relationship. Full of contradictions! Either it's black and white or it isn't!? It's black and white in that cheating is wrong. But that doesn't mean it isn't understandable in certain relationships. I don't really give a shit if you think my opinion is full of contradictions. "I wasn't expecting you to care. Most in the forum don't give a shit about much, I've found. That's why I said it | |||
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"People don't die from lack of sex "Well, actually... Prostate cancer. C | |||
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"Life is complicated, and rarely black or white even if some people think it is. I envy them, my life is complicated and conflicted. It's true, the context of the why is never black and white. There are all kinds of endless possibilities of reasons and things for people to try to justify cheating. However it's a yes or no decision as to if you do cheat or not. It's a choice, 100% a choice of free will to cheat. It's not life or death, there is no gun to your head. There are other options to resolve said problems. Blaming the journey is a cop out that is overused to excuse the destination. I'm not judging anyone for their actual choice. You do you, not my business what you actually choose to do. I'm empathetic to those that have cheated sometimes, some have very touching stories. But don't try and make the action any less or more than what it is, the act of deceiving a partner, for your own benefit. That is very fucking black and white." I've missed you you little ray of sunshine. | |||
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"Is it ok if you're honest about it? Does it really matter what their personal situation is? Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? Can you really trust someone that cheats or that doesn't care how others treat their partner? Lots of questions but it's Sunday
My answers
No
No
Yes
No"If they cheat then NO You can't trust em. They have proved they can't be trusted by cheating. Cheating comes in many forms too. | |||
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"We all have different opinions on this topic. No matter how many times this discussion comes up you'll always get the same answers so seems pretty pointless to me. I just think more people should be open about it on their profiles and then that way, you can all make your choices on whether you're okay with it." Very this. If someone is open about it on their profile I can make an informed decision not to get involved with them and peacefully pass them by. But, if they can't be honest with the person they supposedly love, what chance has an available orifice on a fuck site of getting the truth | |||
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"Might cheat me once Won’t let you cheat me twice What about three times? How many beers had I had?" 17 | |||
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"We all have different opinions on this topic. No matter how many times this discussion comes up you'll always get the same answers so seems pretty pointless to me. I just think more people should be open about it on their profiles and then that way, you can all make your choices on whether you're okay with it. Very this. If someone is open about it on their profile I can make an informed decision not to get involved with them and peacefully pass them by. But, if they can't be honest with the person they supposedly love, what chance has an available orifice on a fuck site of getting the truth "I guess that would depend on what truths you're after | |||
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"What always make me laugh about these threads is there are a few popular forum users here without their partners knowledge, and a lot of people are happy to flirt and meet them. I've been cheated on, I know how it can fuck someone up and it's the reason I'll never trust a guy again. But I'm also aware enough to not make assumptions that all cheaters are utter bastards and yeah, I'm here for sex not to think I'm better than anyone else so I don't really care. If that makes me a bitch so be it. " Or ones that have cheated and still play the victim. Thing is, it's usually us women the partner comes after, like we must have started it and made him jump into bed with us. I've been the other woman in the past, either with or without the knowledge and it wasn't always a physical relationship. I just wouldn't do it now, cba with the drama. | |||
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"Is it ok if you're honest about it? Does it really matter what their personal situation is? Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? Can you really trust someone that cheats or that doesn't care how others treat their partner? Lots of questions but it's Sunday
My answers
No
No
Yes
No"We don't agree with it generally However on this should we judge others? It's up to the person if they want to disclose that It's sex But I certainly would not be interested in a relationship with a cheater | |||
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"Might cheat me once Won’t let you cheat me twice What about three times? " Alright Lionel? | |||
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Would I? No
Would you, maybe?
Would I trust you? Fuck no!
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"If somebody is fucking over the person they’re supposed to love, imagine how much respect they’d have for anybody else" Pretty much what I was going to say.you cannot trust what they say so I'd not trust their STI status either. | |||
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"I think too many people here are judgemental about cheating. I don't think it's as black and white as everyone makes it out to be." Totally agree, people have their reasons and they've made a conscious decision to play. When I did it improved my relationship and we got into swinging. I have met married people too. | |||
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" Is it ok if you're honest about it? " The cheater? Yes I'd rather be told. " Does it really matter what their personal situation is? " No "Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? " No. "Can you really trust someone that cheats or that doesn't care how others treat their partner?" Yes. You've no idea of the situation, not everything is black and white. And there are a lot that aren't truthful about their relationship status. At least with those that are honest you can make an informed decision.  | |||
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" Is it ok if you're honest about it? The cheater? Yes I'd rather be told. Does it really matter what their personal situation is? No Is it just as bad having sex with someone you know is in a relationship and doing it behind their partners back as being the cheater? No. Can you really trust someone that cheats or that doesn't care how others treat their partner? Yes. You've no idea of the situation, not everything is black and white. And there are a lot that aren't truthful about their relationship status. At least with those that are honest you can make an informed decision. " | |||
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"The irony of thinking you can trust someone who commits the ultimate betrayal. Integrity comes from the root word integrate. It means when the invidividual parts of someone’s life demonstrate the same values and fit together coherently. " Disagree it's the ultimate betrayal of trust. Child abuse is far far worse in my opinion. | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors." My feelings exactly | |||
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"I think it's the attraction that changes it. And the willingness to let your partner know about the relationship. As soon as there is a reluctance to share/desire to conceal then the boundary is crossed. J For me it's the hiding it. I'm happy for my partners to have close friends, other lovers, even ones that come above me in their hierarchy as long as that is communicated clearly and everyone is happy with that situation. I don't need to know details, just a heads up if something is becoming serious enough to impact our own relationship. When they choose to hide someone or the depth of their relationship from me, that's a betrayal. I love when they love other people. I don't love when they lie to me. Including by deliberate omission. Especially when they know the truth would be painful for me "Exactly this, having been on the receiving end for many years it’s 100% the lies. Would happily support someone if they were actually honest but until they can be honest with themselves they’ll never be honest with anyone else, the cum filled pants, hidden locations, short fuses and hiding of the phone usually give it away when they have been straying  | |||
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"I try not to make knee jerk judgements. I have my moral compass & others have theirs. No-body knows what goes on behind closed doors. My feelings exactly " Moral compasses aside. I simply don't like being lied to. And someone who will lie to their supposed love one for the sake of getting their dick wet is simply not going to give me more respect than their spouse. Less of a knee jerk judging people for their morality. Simply making choices about the sort of people I want and don't want to be involved with. That so many people lie to get around such preferences doesn't make it a fuck it why even bother pretending anyone can be a decent human for me. I'd like the opportunity to make informed decisions. And I'd like to believe that at least some of the people I adore are capable of being honest with me | |||
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