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"I am friends with my ex. He chose to end the relationship. Neither of us have a new partner. I think if one had a new partner it would be different. She has had two new partners since me but haven't worked out for her and it's me that's there for her when it all goes wrong x " I think when people are still trying to get one over on the other person or still playing the blame is a way of stopping any type of friendship existing. You first became friends because you wanted to add to each other’s lives, and if that desire isn’t there anymore, friendship won’t exist. | |||
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"I am friends with my ex. He chose to end the relationship. Neither of us have a new partner. I think if one had a new partner it would be different. She has had two new partners since me but haven't worked out for her and it's me that's there for her when it all goes wrong x I think when people are still trying to get one over on the other person or still playing the blame is a way of stopping any type of friendship existing. You first became friends because you wanted to add to each other’s lives, and if that desire isn’t there anymore, friendship won’t exist. " I find it very hard to trust her | |||
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"Was in a relationship with him from the age of 17-37… we stayed friends for about a year. But then he met someone else and he told me he had to cut me out of his life. Went through a weird grieving stage because of all the history but am much better without him now. I think it’s hard to stay friends with someone you used to love! " | |||
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"Was in a relationship with him from the age of 17-37… we stayed friends for about a year. But then he met someone else and he told me he had to cut me out of his life. Went through a weird grieving stage because of all the history but am much better without him now. I think it’s hard to stay friends with someone you used to love! " Sorry to here that, that's a long time x glad your better off x | |||
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"Me and ex wife are still best friends it all came to an amicable ending as just fallen out of love with each other and the spark that we had naturally had gone out. I wanted to show the kids that a relationship can end in a positive amicable way. " Fair play to you | |||
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"…, I find it very hard to trust her " Boom. And there it is…. The problem. | |||
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"Hello O.P. What is a friend to you ? What are your life values that you live by? Does she share those values? Have any of those lines been crossed ? Those are for you to think of you don't need to post answers here. From what I read you two gravitate back to each other because there is no one else and people need people and children will love a shitty parent when it's all they've got. You say you feel used and you say you can't trust her. Trust is the very foundation of ALL relationships / friendships. Why is trust not one of your values? When she is in her other relationships does she contact you and offer you support still ? If not then you are not friends you are an on and off couple. The choice is entirely yours. Either it's okay by you to feel used and to be kept on a string and to be with someone where you know it will go tits up or it's not okay........ to be honest either is absolutely fine as long as it's not hurting you and you are in it as part of life's ride. What you talk about does not fit MY definition of friendship BUT I have quite a lot of people in my life who are just that ...... people in my life. Not everyone can be a close friend. " Wow that message hit home and opened my eyes a bit x thank you for taking the time to write it x | |||
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"…, I find it very hard to trust her Boom. And there it is…. The problem. " Yeah the trust is a big thing that causes lot of problems | |||
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"I have remained friends with my ex husband, we used to be really close but over the years it's wained slightly but when doughnut and I was going through our rough patch he came round and he was the only one out of my friends to actually listen and give me some sound advice probably because he has known me for 30 odd years. Would we have remained friends if we didn't have kids? Unsure." We don't have kids together x but I will always be there for her if she needed me and that makes it hard to just walk away x | |||
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"I have remained friends with my ex husband, we used to be really close but over the years it's wained slightly but when doughnut and I was going through our rough patch he came round and he was the only one out of my friends to actually listen and give me some sound advice probably because he has known me for 30 odd years. Would we have remained friends if we didn't have kids? Unsure. We don't have kids together x but I will always be there for her if she needed me and that makes it hard to just walk away x " Doughnut and I don't have kids together either and I get the impression, had we split for good, we would still have remained friends, good luck OP x | |||
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"I have remained friends with my ex husband, we used to be really close but over the years it's wained slightly but when doughnut and I was going through our rough patch he came round and he was the only one out of my friends to actually listen and give me some sound advice probably because he has known me for 30 odd years. Would we have remained friends if we didn't have kids? Unsure. We don't have kids together x but I will always be there for her if she needed me and that makes it hard to just walk away x Doughnut and I don't have kids together either and I get the impression, had we split for good, we would still have remained friends, good luck OP x" Donut lol thank you for your time x | |||
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"I'm friendly with my ex partners, there's only one of them I truly hope to never speak to again. I consider several of them actual friends, and most of the rest I'm casually friendly with or would be if our paths crossed again. Just because I'm not intimately involved with someone any more doesn't mean I have to cut them off completely. There must have been some reason we were together in the first place, and it not working as a relationship doesn't mean that the connection or feelings that initiated it just go away." Very true x | |||
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"Was in a relationship with him from the age of 17-37… we stayed friends for about a year. But then he met someone else and he told me he had to cut me out of his life. Went through a weird grieving stage because of all the history but am much better without him now. I think it’s hard to stay friends with someone you used to love! " This... | |||
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"Me and ex wife are still best friends it all came to an amicable ending as just fallen out of love with each other and the spark that we had naturally had gone out. I wanted to show the kids that a relationship can end in a positive amicable way. " This | |||
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"There’s a difference between cordial and friends. I think it’s easy enough to be cordial and polite " AHH cordial the quintessential gateway to passive-aggression. How wonderful of you to drop by, would you care for more tea, before you leave? | |||
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"I think it’s ok but imo needs no contact time first. To mourn the relationship loss and to process a change in relationship type. After that it can be ok. " This is relevant. Trying to be friends immediately after a breakup is a recipe for disaster. Needs a decent cooling off period to reset or it never quite works. | |||
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"On and off for 14 years keep trying to go our own way but end up back in touch but nothing sexual happens. Things are good for while then it goes shit" Ditto. Uncannily accurate, even down to exactly 14 years | |||
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"Hello all x What are people's thoughts on staying friends with am ex ? Does it work or is it a no go zone x " What's the point? If its over move on. Think about how that will look for your next girlfriend. Do you think she'll mind you being friends with your ex? If my new girlfriend was friends with her ex , i wouldn't date her. | |||
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"No cut off completely works better for me " only because I wouldn’t want them to think there’s any chance of anything more could happen | |||
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"I’m friends with all of my exs apart from one. He’s under the patio " Did you leave his arse sticking out, for somewhere to park your bike? (Still my favourite Billy Connoly joke ??) | |||
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