FabSwingers.com forum: Snakes...

By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

Am I right to be annoyed at a so called friend, who adds an ex on social media after the breakup?

Told him to get your own and stop staring my porridge!

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

"Am I right to be annoyed at a so called friend, who adds an ex on social media after the breakup?

Told him to get your own and stop staring my porridge! "

Yeah this ‘mate’ is not a mate. Fuck his mum instead lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

Narrr mate I don't do dogs!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
32 weeks ago

East Sussex

Your ex?

Why are you annoyed exactly? I'm not saying you're wrong I don't know the circumstances

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
32 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Narrr mate I don't do dogs! "

Whoa!

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
32 weeks ago

Central

The specific details of the relationship are what's important. Wanting to remain in touch with friends known via relationships breaking up is perfectly healthy and different to other involvement.

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By *alm_one4Man
32 weeks ago

RM16

You are right! I did the same, a ‘mate’ tired to add my ex on Fb**k a week after we split begat he didn’t realise was we were still chatting so I knew exact what was going on. The next conversation I had with him was quite funny, squirm first if it justice. That was ; years ago, not spoken to him since.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

Not about that, so called mate, never met my ex. Just saw us through social media and now that we are no longer together, decided to reach out to her. Not the first time either.

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

I would assume this brake up just happened

But can I ask op you joined fab 5 months ago so were you in the realship when you joined

If not then you been broke up for 5 months maybe more

Sounds to me like your still hung up on them / want them back

Because seems like you have a problem with her date a mate as such

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
32 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Not about that, so called mate, never met my ex. Just saw us through social media and now that we are no longer together, decided to reach out to her. Not the first time either. "

Is it that you don't want your ex being involved with someone you know?

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
32 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"Am I right to be annoyed at a so called friend, who adds an ex on social media after the breakup?

Told him to get your own and stop staring my porridge! "

If she’s your ex then there won’t be any of your porridge to stir, will there.

I wouldn’t consider anyone who thought they could tell me who I could and couldn’t associate with on social media, any kind of friend

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

Agree with the black and white, but my account has been hidden inactive whilst I gave it a try.

My issue is... Regardless of what I was doing and my and partners world. Said friend has zero problem with reaching out to people in my life. Snake!

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By *xxLandNxxxCouple
32 weeks ago

Nuneaton

Probably done you a favor and proved what a shit friend he was, she was your ex for a reason let the have each other and move on x

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By *xxLandNxxxCouple
32 weeks ago

Nuneaton

And only came here because we have pet snakes

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

They are world's apart and would never have met without the window of social media.

My issue, is about my own standards and may be projecting. But I would never add a friends ex.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
32 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Agree with the black and white, but my account has been hidden inactive whilst I gave it a try.

My issue is... Regardless of what I was doing and my and partners world. Said friend has zero problem with reaching out to people in my life. Snake! "

But still posting pictures?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

Love the devils advocate. How it's not about my or ex world and what we did.

The question is would you add a friends ex knowing they had broke up?

Or could you look me in the face and justify?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
32 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Love the devils advocate. How it's not about my or ex world and what we did.

The question is would you add a friends ex knowing they had broke up?

Or could you look me in the face and justify? "

I would be unlikely to add a friends ex I social media immediately after they broke up. However, after some time had passed I'd consider it. After all nobody owns their exes or their friends

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
32 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"Love the devils advocate. How it's not about my or ex world and what we did.

The question is would you add a friends ex knowing they had broke up?

Or could you look me in the face and justify? "

Why does he have to justify his social media friends to you.

She’s your ex, get over it.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
32 weeks ago

East Sussex

Also I'm genuinely interested in why you feel anyone needs to justify anything to you?

I'm not asking aggressively I really don't understand

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

Oh absolutely, I have removed said friend from social as. Tbh, I world have reached out to me first.. Not real friend.

Anyway what ex does is ex's business, not mine.

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By *ather WickmasMan
32 weeks ago

The Continental

The drama of it all.

Move on. She’s your EX. He’s now a EX mate.

Problem solved.

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

"Love the devils advocate. How it's not about my or ex world and what we did.

The question is would you add a friends ex knowing they had broke up?

Or could you look me in the face and justify? "

Well that depends first off I would speak to you about it then I would evaluate

If sed person is right for me if sed person was right for me and it was someone that I could see myself being happy with the rest off my life then yes sorry

That’s your problem and if your trying to stand in the way off my happiness then that’s your problem and issues

You talk about your friend being a snake but your also suppressing your own “friends” happiness

That friend could be lonely at night

They could cry when you aren’t around and seek someone to spend they life with anyone standing in my way at a chance at that will get cut out my life simple as

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
32 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Oh absolutely, I have removed said friend from social as. Tbh, I world have reached out to me first.. Not real friend.

Anyway what ex does is ex's business, not mine. "

So you'd speak to someone's ex before adding them on social media? Is this a sort of man code thing?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

Answering your question: if he wanted to be my friend and wish the best for me. He would know the limits of friendship.

Will wait for his reply if he is man enough, other than that. Bye bye to both..

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

I think I would be a bit pissed off too if I'm honest.

If they weren't friends when you were together, then I'd wonder why they are friends now.

Maybe he likes your sloppy seconds

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

No man code thing, but I would understand how important our friendship was and if me adding their ex would break the friendship.

No mancode or human code just integrity.

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By *a LunaWoman
32 weeks ago

South Wales

How close a friend was he?

Besties or just an acquaintance?

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By *esthetic21Man
32 weeks ago

Birmingham/Bristol

I'd take no notice and leave them to it. It's already casing you harm let it go improve your mindset and you will feel better

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
32 weeks ago

East Sussex

"No man code thing, but I would understand how important our friendship was and if me adding their ex would break the friendship.

No mancode or human code just integrity. "

I'm a bit out of the loop on these things but does adding someone on social media indicate romantic interest?

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
32 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

"Answering your question: if he wanted to be my friend and wish the best for me. He would know the limits of friendship.

Will wait for his reply if he is man enough, other than that. Bye bye to both.. "

Saying bye to both is the best outcome. Not your monkey, not your circus

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

Someone I worked with years ago, but either way...

Anyway I was coming here and having an open discussion, rather than washing manche my head.

Yes it's an offload, rather vocalise than internalise.

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By *os_GoddessofdawnWoman
32 weeks ago

In the clouds

Yep I'd be annoyed too... what a shitty thing to do

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

"Someone I worked with years ago, but either way...

Anyway I was coming here and having an open discussion, rather than washing manche my head.

Yes it's an offload, rather vocalise than internalise. "

Ok wow well you really blown it out off propeshon then not like it’s a best friend or anything

I reframe form saying with i really think here op as your head best just remove them both and move on

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

It's been a journey since the break up, I feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Six stages of grief and all that. But yes certain events, actions trigger a relapse which this did.

So action has been taken, by removing so called friend and I will carry on my me journey.

Thank you, for your I put much appreciated.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
32 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Someone I worked with years ago, but either way...

Anyway I was coming here and having an open discussion, rather than washing manche my head.

Yes it's an offload, rather vocalise than internalise. "

I think it's a good thing you're getting it out of your head because it seems to me you're massively over thinking this.

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By *a LunaWoman
32 weeks ago

South Wales

Do you still have feelings for this ex? Maybe hoping that you might get back together?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

As they say the worst place you can be is in your own head.

It's a paradigm, my preception right now, perhaps I will look back in the future and realise friend has done me a favour. Bth it's not the first time.

So removal is a necessity step.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
32 weeks ago

I have feelings for the illusion, the plans I made in my own head about how life could be.

The illusion was good, but obviously not that good.

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By *ornucopiaMan
32 weeks ago

Bexley

"Someone I worked with years ago, but either way...

In my dictionary that sounds more like an acquaintance that a friend, but either way this story surely shows me why I wouldn't touch social media with a bargepole.

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By *parkle1974Woman
32 weeks ago

Leeds

Something like that wouldn't bother me tbh but everyone deals with things differently

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
32 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Well she's your ex, and she's not your property, so you don't get a say in who she's friends with.

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By *a LunaWoman
32 weeks ago

South Wales

What’s done is done. But remember, she didn’t have to accept his friend request either so if you’re mad at him are you mad at her too?

And sometimes folk just add folk because it adds to their numbers and makes them look good. Doesn’t mean owt.

Anyway, Chin up, chest up and move on. Look forwards not backwards.

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By *agnar73Man
32 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

I’d use snake for someone that pumped the ex when you’re with still withher sort of thing.

A fb friending? Not the same really.

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By *ornucopiaMan
32 weeks ago

Bexley

Looks like there are various ways forward.

Kiss and make up with ex.

Kiss and make up with snake.

Kiss and make up with neither.

Move on.

Give up social media.

Find someone new and don't tell any anyone in case that goes wrong as well.

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By *agnar73Man
32 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Looks like there are various ways forward.

Kiss and make up with ex.

Kiss and make up with snake.

Kiss and make up with neither.

Move on.

Give up social media.

Find someone new and don't tell any anyone in case that goes wrong as well."

Trouple and get ex to peg him

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By *ellhungvweMan
32 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I don’t get this whole “don’t touch my ex” thing. She is an adult and can make her own mind up as to who she sees and who she doesn’t. Stop trying to control her life and let her do what/who she wants.

If it winds you up that much then I would suggest you deal with those issues on your own time and leave her to get on with her thing.

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By *rgasmatron1970Man
32 weeks ago

Bromley

"Am I right to be annoyed at a so called friend, who adds an ex on social media after the breakup?

Told him to get your own and stop staring my porridge! "

I thought you were on about boot collection

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By *agnar73Man
32 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"I don’t get this whole “don’t touch my ex” thing. She is an adult and can make her own mind up as to who she sees and who she doesn’t. Stop trying to control her life and let her do what/who she wants.

If it winds you up that much then I would suggest you deal with those issues on your own time and leave her to get on with her thing."

I try and go with ‘no longer my problem’

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
31 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

If it winds you up that much then I would suggest you deal with those issues on your own time and leave her to get on with her thing.

I try and go with ‘no longer my problem’"

100% agree. An ex is an ex. You lose all rights to have any input on their future life, actions, who they engage with etc.

Likewise friends. Sure, a very close friend would probably speak to you before making any contact with a previous partner, but a casual acquaintance or someone not particularly close has no requirement to seek permission to do anything or contact anyone else.

There's no rules to be stuck to. People are free to live their lives how they wish.

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By *amie HantsWoman
31 weeks ago

Atlantis

OP I’m with you on this, I’d be upset too. You already know that they’re adults that can do what they want but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. When you come out of a relationship you’re really vulnerable and it’s hard not to take things like this really personal.

Hope in time it gets better!

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

Think I'd need to actually have an ex to have a valid viewpoint on this

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By (user no longer on site)
31 weeks ago

"Not about that, so called mate, never met my ex. Just saw us through social media and now that we are no longer together, decided to reach out to her. Not the first time either. "

He can't have been a close friend if he never met your ex in person,reads as if the mates more an acquaintance rather than a mate and if that's the case then I don't see what the problem would be.

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