FabSwingers.com forum: Banter

By *avidbanks OP Man
33 weeks ago

leeds

Think it’s a must in this day and age.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
33 weeks ago

little house on the praire

What actually is banter

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By *avidbanks OP Man
33 weeks ago

leeds

Google it will tell you more than I can lol

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
33 weeks ago

little house on the praire

"Google it will tell you more than I can lol"
I know what it's supposed to mean. But when someone says they want good banter how do you start

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By *rucking-HellMan
33 weeks ago

Northampton

Call me sensitive, but I've always found banter to be ever so slightly passive aggressive, and an insincere way of communicating. It's like putting barriers up to the true self. I like talking to people about their true selves.

Having said that, I got dramatically better at it after age 40, but sadly, only because it made communicating with people at work a little more socially oiled. I still hate it deep down.

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By *ayjay19xMan
33 weeks ago

Bromley / Lewisham / Croydon

Absolutely, banter is like oxygen for the soul in the modern era! Without it, we'd all be as dull as a spoon in a soup kitchen. So let the banter flow like a leaky faucet – just remember to bring your umbrella, it might get a bit wet!

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By *inkEssexLadMan
33 weeks ago

Westcliff-On-Sea

"Think it’s a must in this day and age."
banter with some fanta

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By *inkEssexLadMan
33 weeks ago

Westcliff-On-Sea

"What actually is banter"
lol this comment defo bants

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By *TG3Man
33 weeks ago

Dorchester

"Think it’s a must in this day and age."
Talking is the way we humans communicate so agreed

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By *alandNitaCouple
33 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

Unfortunately, a lot of people don't know the difference between banter and just being nasty to get laughs at someone elses expense.

Cal

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
33 weeks ago

Wherever

Not for me.

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By *eliWoman
33 weeks ago

I don't like the term banter. I don't like banter. The absolute worst though? Flanter. It feels like a hate crime.

I do like people who can laugh at how silly life is. Enjoy it. Are aware of when they're being silly. Who can tease and be teased in the right circumstances.

Banter? No.

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By *ellhungvweMan
33 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I think it is yawnsville. I see the cringeworthy crap that people come up with and all I can think: “Is that the best you have got?”

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By *onameyet2Man
33 weeks ago

chorley

It works if you know someone well and understand boundaries, but some insensitive cunt picking up on peoples little idiosyncrasies and taking the piss can be very damaging

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By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
33 weeks ago

Southampton

"It works if you know someone well and understand boundaries, but some insensitive cunt picking up on peoples little idiosyncrasies and taking the piss can be very damaging"

This ..

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
33 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

One persons bants is another person's cuntyiness, it all depends on the person giving the bants out...

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By *ittlebirdWoman
33 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

#topbants

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
33 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

It’s not something I feel qualified to comment on, as I don’t participate in that sort of thing.

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By *rispyDuckMan
33 weeks ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Bants with the lads & the ‘maybe she’s a lady’

haha

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
33 weeks ago

ashford

Love a bit of banter! I was the butt of familys banter this weekend on our group chat I fell and broke my wrist! The rotten lot! But we laughed alot! X

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By *ittycock400Couple
33 weeks ago

Bristol

Can't stand the word "banter". It's so often used to disguise inappropriate behaviour as "fun".

It gets used so often to excuse bullying.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
33 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

I’ve been relying on banter as a personality substitute for years

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By *ot to giggleWoman
33 weeks ago

Coventry

"I’ve been relying on banter as a personality substitute for years "

you so have both!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
33 weeks ago

East Sussex

Genuine banter has always existed, it hasn't just been invented.

The good humoured exchange of friendly teasing often smooths the way to deeper exchanges or makes awkward situations more bearable. What I dislike intensely are nasty, spiteful and derogatory remarks passed off as 'bants'. Designed to make the recipient feel that they have to accept or even laugh at them

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By *eroLondonMan
33 weeks ago

Mayfair

I much prefer to tittle-tattle or engage in some tête-à-tête. I'm not a fan of the word "banter". Banter sounds like a medieval torture instrument. I like my conversations to be engaging and not torturous.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
33 weeks ago

East Sussex

My dad and I engage in genuine banter.

My favourite is when I said to him

"I'm not stupid"

He replied "you've had me fooled".

We laughed for ages over that one

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By *omRPMan
33 weeks ago

North Curry

Banter was banned at a previous workplace. HR considered it harassment and would take official action if they considered any behaviour as ‘banter’.

Hence a previous and not current workplace.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
33 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Banter was banned at a previous workplace. HR considered it harassment and would take official action if they considered any behaviour as ‘banter’.

Hence a previous and not current workplace. "

How were they defining banter? Some of what gets passed off as banter is actually cruel bullying and abuse.

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By *arkus1812Man
33 weeks ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

I have been using banter for more years than I can remember.

Always friendly banter though.

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By *ea monkeyMan
33 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

I hate the term. It is generally a term used by people when they are being abusive under the cloak of comedy.

Having a joke with friends is very different

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By *elloWoman
33 weeks ago

alpha centauri

"Think it’s a must in this day and age."

Banter just makes me think of yuppies, didn't think people genuinely used that word anymore.

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By *TG3Man
33 weeks ago

Dorchester

I don't use the expression either

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
33 weeks ago

Reading

"Call me sensitive, but I've always found banter to be ever so slightly passive aggressive, and an insincere way of communicating. It's like putting barriers up to the true self. I like talking to people about their true selves.

Having said that, I got dramatically better at it after age 40, but sadly, only because it made communicating with people at work a little more socially oiled. I still hate it deep down. "

Its very male centric I find. Women don't need banter we just talk to one another.

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

'It's just banter, mate' usually follows something offensive

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By (user no longer on site)
33 weeks ago

Having said that, I got dramatically better at it after age 40, but sadly, only because it made communicating with people at work a little more socially oiled. I still hate it deep down. "

Totally agree. Much better to have decent conversation.

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By *ou only live onceMan
33 weeks ago

London

"I don't like the term banter. I don't like banter. The absolute worst though? Flanter. It feels like a hate crime.

I do like people who can laugh at how silly life is. Enjoy it. Are aware of when they're being silly. Who can tease and be teased in the right circumstances.

Banter? No. "

No, Meli. The league table is:

Bad: Banter

Worse: Flanter

The Worst: Cheeky Bantz

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By *eliWoman
33 weeks ago

"I don't like the term banter. I don't like banter. The absolute worst though? Flanter. It feels like a hate crime.

I do like people who can laugh at how silly life is. Enjoy it. Are aware of when they're being silly. Who can tease and be teased in the right circumstances.

Banter? No.

No, Meli. The league table is:

Bad: Banter

Worse: Flanter

The Worst: Cheeky Bantz"

I can't believe you typed the last one. Truly, truly horrific. Thanks YOLO. Almost ruined my day but luckily I'm too happy.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
33 weeks ago

Central

I'm good with having light hearted engagement with people but it's about appropriateness and flexibility/empathy to others

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By *ou only live onceMan
33 weeks ago

London

"I don't like the term banter. I don't like banter. The absolute worst though? Flanter. It feels like a hate crime.

I do like people who can laugh at how silly life is. Enjoy it. Are aware of when they're being silly. Who can tease and be teased in the right circumstances.

Banter? No.

No, Meli. The league table is:

Bad: Banter

Worse: Flanter

The Worst: Cheeky Bantz

I can't believe you typed the last one. Truly, truly horrific. Thanks YOLO. Almost ruined my day but luckily I'm too happy. "

Typed for the bantz, Mels. For the bantz.

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By *ou only live onceMan
33 weeks ago

London

"I don't like the term banter. I don't like banter. The absolute worst though? Flanter. It feels like a hate crime.

I do like people who can laugh at how silly life is. Enjoy it. Are aware of when they're being silly. Who can tease and be teased in the right circumstances.

Banter? No.

No, Meli. The league table is:

Bad: Banter

Worse: Flanter

The Worst: Cheeky Bantz

I can't believe you typed the last one. Truly, truly horrific. Thanks YOLO. Almost ruined my day but luckily I'm too happy.

Typed for the bantz, Mels. For the bantz.

I've also now vomited a little.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
33 weeks ago

North West

"Think it’s a must in this day and age."

I have no bants

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By *ascaIMan
33 weeks ago

Cheshire Liverpool Manchester

“Prehistoric banter isn’t acceptable in the modern world” - Richard Keys

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By *a LunaWoman
33 weeks ago

South Wales

I like to think I’m sassy rather than having good banter.

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By *naswingdressWoman
33 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I think it's very shallow and often ill thought through. I'd rather just have a conversation.

Unless you mean something more like social skills/ charisma. Then, yeah, maybe. We're social animals. We also need to speak the same language. What of it?

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By *aldeagle68Man
33 weeks ago

Rayleigh

I hate the word

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By *eliWoman
33 weeks ago

"I don't like the term banter. I don't like banter. The absolute worst though? Flanter. It feels like a hate crime.

I do like people who can laugh at how silly life is. Enjoy it. Are aware of when they're being silly. Who can tease and be teased in the right circumstances.

Banter? No.

No, Meli. The league table is:

Bad: Banter

Worse: Flanter

The Worst: Cheeky Bantz

I can't believe you typed the last one. Truly, truly horrific. Thanks YOLO. Almost ruined my day but luckily I'm too happy.

Typed for the bantz, Mels. For the bantz.

I've also now vomited a little."

Why are you doing this? All of this? If you're hangry with the world please go and get some tartiflette before posting any more.

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By *uzie69xTV/TS
33 weeks ago

Maidstone

"Banter was banned at a previous workplace. HR considered it harassment and would take official action if they considered any behaviour as ‘banter’.

Hence a previous and not current workplace. "

There has been some spectacular employment tribunals where so called "banter" was proven to be 'passive-aggressive' and 'micro-aggression'.

The employer had to pay up and introduce policies to manage discrimination at work.

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By *ansoffateMan
33 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

It's banter when it's a mutual exchange. When it's one way it's taking the piss.

It's not that hard to understand really.

Banter can be fun, there's nothing wrong with a bit of playful teasing. I can enjoy that. Our brains are wired for playfulness, it's part of being human.

Taking the piss is obviously not the nicest thing in the world. But diffusing a situation, where boundaries are stepped on, with humour is better than escalation or violence. So it's a matter of intent.

Sure you can be direct and explain to a person why you do not appreciate their behaviour toward you. But that approach requires the other person to have the self-awareness to take responsibility, or it is likely to escalate. In the moment, with an audience that can be unnecessarily putting someone on the spot. That can be a game of oneupmanship, so that also comes down to intent.

They'll often apologise later, usually in private.

Hey sorry about before.

No worries, doesn't need saying, it's all good.

Bro-hug. Job done.

There was no harmful intention, just a simple misunderstanding that's now resolved.

I've more issue with people who make threats of violence, veiled or otherwise. Or intentionally put people down to make themselves look or feel superior. Bullies basically.

Banter has an appreciable social function if utilised appropriately. It's situational. There's a cultural element too, if you don't get it, then it can be misconstrued.

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