FabSwingers.com forum: Spending guilt or splash the cash?

By *otSoPetiteMort OP Woman
32 weeks ago

Hertfordshire

Do you feel like you have to justify money spent on yourself or can you go on a shopping spree like there's no tomorrow?

As a Parent of a severely disabled child, I struggle to justify almost anything I want or need. We're certainly not hard done by but mentally I'm always thinking of whether that money for a new bra I need or a social event I want to go to could be better spent towards new sensory equipment for my Son or something for the family. I know this is quite typical "Mum guilt" but I always felt like I had to really justify purchases even before I had kids.

My Sister is the opposite and can spend money as quickly as she makes it.

So which one are you?

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By *he Flat CapsCouple
32 weeks ago

Pontypool

I'm similar to you, OP, my children come first. My elder is autistic and I think my younger has ADHD, so I'm with you on the sensory stuff, clothes, food, bedding, everything. My elder one is noise sensitive, bought Flares and noise cancelling headphones, all sorts of light display things. I get what's left!

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By *929Man
32 weeks ago

newcastle

I the first type as well I was never one to spend frivolously but having kids made me far worse and anything that was not an absolute necessity I’d rationalise that money better spent on the kids. They about to turn 15 and 17 now but still I go over every spending decision 1000 times before eventually deciding against it. Unless it’s money I’ll see back somehow eg spending on house or a tool for the business I’ll generally not spend

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
32 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I hate spending money on me.

It's got a little easier since framing it as 'for morale' in my head, rather than 'treat yourself.'

It means I don't have to have been exceptionally good to be allowed to get something that makes me happy. I can just do it because I have the means and it will bring me joy

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
32 weeks ago

Reading

By giving yourself some joy you are helping your child.

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By (user no longer on site)
32 weeks ago

Don’t have any children or anything

So no dependeds to feel guilty about spending

But I do spent Willy nilly then afterwards think I shouldn’t have and feel guilty and it was a waste

If you know what I mean

I see a lovely dress shose lingerie or what ever tell myself I not getting it bl bl bl

Spend 2 hours putting things in cart to delete the cart

To order then instantly regret it and think it was a waste I don’t need anymore clothes lingerie or heels

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
32 weeks ago

East Sussex

We've lived through some very tough financial times and it's very hard to shake that off. We often have to tell each other that yes, you can afford to buy that and no, there isn't anything more pressing to spend it on. I also take much more time deciding whether to spend £2:99 on a charity shop belt than a much bigger purchase.

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
32 weeks ago

somewhere

I'm very much in the camp of I see something I want when I can't afford it and then when I do have money and I can actually buy it, I don't because I can't justify spending on myself. Doughnut hates it when I have my birthday or Christmas money because I'll either spend it on household stuff like bills or shopping or spend it on someone else.

Although I did splash out on getting my nails and toes done for my holiday and the guilt I felt for doing that lol

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By *edeWoman
32 weeks ago

the abyss

I mean my son is an adult and not living at home but spending money on myself still feels odd, even just buying a coffee or something when out seems a waste.

I wouldn't say I'm frugal - I just prefer to say my money to spend on experiences or time with people important to me

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By *rMonkeyMan
32 weeks ago

Somewhere

I've had people question my spending and they've been politely told to fuck off, it's none of their business.

I feel no guilt, I want to enjoy what I have and am in the position to so without any worry. Why others feel the need to question it I have no idea.

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By *rHotNottsMan
32 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Sounds sensible to me , being wise and making smart decisions with money is important.

Maybe just make all those decisions once though with a budget rather than every month ?

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
32 weeks ago

Leeds

I'm very much like you OP I'm trying to get better, I have a monthly book subscription that's my little treat and even then I feel bad.

I finally went and bought some trousers the other day after walking around on ones too small for months & still feel guilty about that.

It's really annoying I wish I could go out and buy myself something without the mum guilt feeling afterwards.

Mrs

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By *ornucopiaMan
32 weeks ago

Bexley

"I've had people question my spending and they've been politely told to fuck off, it's none of their business.

I feel no guilt, I want to enjoy what I have and am in the position to so without any worry. Why others feel the need to question it I have no idea."

'..been politely told to fuck off..'

I must remember that useful oxymoron!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
32 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I still feel guilty and my son is 33. I either buy him something or the kids. I still come last

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By *ell GwynnWoman
32 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

I used to really struggle to spend money on myself without agonising over whether it was justified or not. It would take me months to decide to buy a new coat, for example, even though my old one was falling apart.

I knocked that crap on the head when I realised I was turning into my mother whose existence is so joyless and miserly that she doesn't use any heating in winter, reads by candlelight on dark evenings, and purses her lips disapprovingly whenever someone chooses to buy something she deems unnecessary, which is everything.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
32 weeks ago

Wherever

As a single parent on minimum wage spending money on anything for myself is on the very bottom of my priority list.

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By *ellhungvweMan
32 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I don’t feel guilty spending money - I just don’t get a kick out of buying stuff.

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By *ot to giggleWoman
32 weeks ago

Coventry

As a single parent, think that says it all really. You don't have a 'self' particularly so now im refinding me, its an amazing journey....

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By *rMonkeyMan
32 weeks ago

Somewhere

"I've had people question my spending and they've been politely told to fuck off, it's none of their business.

I feel no guilt, I want to enjoy what I have and am in the position to so without any worry. Why others feel the need to question it I have no idea.

'..been politely told to fuck off..'

I must remember that useful oxymoron!"

You do that

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By *WB85Man
32 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I don't justify anything.

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By *parkle1974Woman
32 weeks ago

Leeds

I have the money and the means though I hate spending on myself, I'd rather treat my niece and nephews x

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