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Bored in hospital

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Stuck in here for a while and need cheering up. Please share funny hospital stories (or share boobs) please

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No funny hospital stories I'm afraid. It can be quite boring can't it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hopefully not too long but a heart attack was most definitely unexpected. On the plus side, I made it to hospital which was better than the alternatives

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Hopefully not too long but a heart attack was most definitely unexpected. On the plus side, I made it to hospital which was better than the alternatives "

Indeed!

Wishing you a speedy recovery

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear you’re in hospital, hopefully you’ll have a speedy recovery.

I was in hospital recently, one morning I was having a shower, all nice and peaceful, suddenly the locked door burst open and security and some very stern nurses burst in! Apparently the steam had set off the smoke alarm and they thought I was smoking! for the rest of my stay the nurses all called me shower boy!

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By *illy IdolMan
over a year ago

Midlands

No funny stories but I hope you get well soon

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

I don't really have any funny stories... I wish I did! But I hope you're feeling a bit better soon OP and glad you got to the hospital in time, x

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Not particularly funny, but I used to work in a hospital a very long time ago. Was covering in the pathology reception a guy comes up and asks for a pot for a semen samples. Gave him one, and he went to the loo directly in front of the reception and came back a few minutes later and gave me the sample. He looked rather sheepish and tbf in a rural location it could have been over a hour long trip to collect the sample and drive back. But still. This was preferable to those who poo or spew in the sample bags and not into pots. If this is any of you hang your heads in shame.

Hope you're on the road to recovery OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear you’re under the weather OP, hopefully on the mend soon!

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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Not particularly funny, but I used to work in a hospital a very long time ago. Was covering in the pathology reception a guy comes up and asks for a pot for a semen samples. Gave him one, and he went to the loo directly in front of the reception and came back a few minutes later and gave me the sample. He looked rather sheepish and tbf in a rural location it could have been over a hour long trip to collect the sample and drive back. But still. This was preferable to those who poo or spew in the sample bags and not into pots. If this is any of you hang your heads in shame.

Hope you're on the road to recovery OP. "

Should've gone bupa.

Apparently they have a hands free sample collection option.

I think her name is Barbara.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

o o OO o o

No funny stories I’m afraid. Hope you’re better soon though.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land


"Not particularly funny, but I used to work in a hospital a very long time ago. Was covering in the pathology reception a guy comes up and asks for a pot for a semen samples. Gave him one, and he went to the loo directly in front of the reception and came back a few minutes later and gave me the sample. He looked rather sheepish and tbf in a rural location it could have been over a hour long trip to collect the sample and drive back. But still. This was preferable to those who poo or spew in the sample bags and not into pots. If this is any of you hang your heads in shame.

Hope you're on the road to recovery OP.

Should've gone bupa.

Apparently they have a hands free sample collection option.

I think her name is Barbara. "

Waa, doubt she would be as red faced as I was when I was handed that sample

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear of your troubles mate I hope you are at least at a hospital where watching the telly is free, I was stuck in for 2 and a half weeks a few year ago (same as you suprise heart attack out the blue) and was something ridiculous like 20 quid every 4 days just to watch the telly get well soon

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By *abtastic Mr FoxMan
over a year ago

A den in the Glen

Speedy recovery.

Just ask the nurses to tell you about stuff they've seen in A&E and try to get the phrase 'what is the worst thing you have seen stick up a blokes arse?' That will cheer you up.

I was seeing a nurse and the worst was a set of bike handlebars!

See if you can beat that!

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By *nnCeeWoman
over a year ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

Yikes Bear!

Glad you got to care in time, hope they're looking after you, even if it is boring as sin.

Wishing you a speedy recovery, and, assuming you're in ESH, if you desperately need something, and don't have anyone local, please let me know and I could bring it to you? Grapes, Lucozade??

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By *akedMMan
over a year ago

Witney

Get well soon

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By *ot to giggleWoman
over a year ago

Coventry

speedy recovery - send out for Lucozade and grapes

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By *till gameMan
over a year ago

Oldham

Glad you got there in time and hopefully on the mend.

My wee funny story is when I came round fully from a general anaesthetic, I had been put in a side room instead of back on the ward.

I asked the nurse why ? She said oh you don’t have any recollection at all do you.

Apparently when in recovery they couldn’t shut me up about telling everyone I was a swinger and telling them to try it. Oops

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yikes Bear!

Glad you got to care in time, hope they're looking after you, even if it is boring as sin.

Wishing you a speedy recovery, and, assuming you're in ESH, if you desperately need something, and don't have anyone local, please let me know and I could bring it to you? Grapes, Lucozade??"

Alas I didn't get ill near to home so away in a hospital in Kent but thank you for the kind offer lovely xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

On a plus side, just had a 4 handed massage (just a damn massage) from the Mrs and a friend in my hospital bed. That'll get tongues wagging

(Behind a curtain I add)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to here don’t have any funny stories but I will put you on to a amazing comic who is wonderful

Hannah Berner

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=COfjBwNHZvI&t=337s

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By *nnCeeWoman
over a year ago

East of Eden, West of Hell


"On a plus side, just had a 4 handed massage (just a damn massage) from the Mrs and a friend in my hospital bed. That'll get tongues wagging

(Behind a curtain I add)"

That's a win!

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