FabSwingers.com forum: If your daughter....

By *he Flat Caps OP Couple
34 weeks ago

Pontypool

At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
34 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

Complain to the school, ask them how they are going to address this across the entire school as there’s clearly a problem with a misogynistic culture amongst students

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Wow .. was it a boy or girl who said it ... the sensible mum would rant at school about teaching respect blah blah

The mother bear in me would want to rip the little fuckers head off and tear a new arsehole out of its parents.

The feminist in me would teach my daughter to sucker punch or bitch slap the tw*t

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By *a LunaWoman
34 weeks ago

South Wales

I’d stand in the playground at collection time, rip my shirt off and turn green and ask “which little prick insulted my daughter?”.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Contact the school/ raise the issue with her teacher telling them you want it dealt with.

Thats shocking

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By *ukn4fun69Man
34 weeks ago

Sunderland

not nice to hear that, from the school side of things he should be made to apologise, get a thousand lines, "I must not call people nasty words anymore" and have his playtimes taken away for a week. But as a dad I would want to have some serious 'words' with the parents of said person who hasn't been brought up very well.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
34 weeks ago

Wherever

I’ll be at schools office first thing Monday morning.

Hope you’re both okay.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
34 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

I'd want more information, does he truly understand what the word means? Where did he even learn that? Punishment could range from education, to bitchslapping the parents

Deffo contact the School, completely unacceptable and you are right to be angry.

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By *ex HolesMan
34 weeks ago

Up North

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do? "

Have you asked your daughter the reason why he allegedly called her a slut?

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Contact the school.

I’d probably go one step further and contact the parents myself if I knew who they were. That’s an awful thing to say and a word that shouldn’t even be in his vocabulary at that age!

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By *oannesTV/TS
34 weeks ago

Trafford

I wouldnt post it on a public website asking for advice

Keep it private, speak to the school and maybe other parents, see whats going on. There are at least two sides to every story!

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By *eally_RosieWoman
34 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

I’d ring the school and ask them to deal with it, discuss and agree a specific timeline and outcome, whether that’s an apology, sanction, mediated discussion with the perpetrators parents or whatever. If it wasn’t met and upheld I’d then go to the governors.

Human nature to want to go all ‘overbearing parent’ and respond emotionally. But kids need to be educated on uses of sexualised language, and how to respect boundaries. Things they won’t learn by an adult wading in to the rescue every time someone uses a bad word.

At that age, it’s unlikely (although not impossible), to be genuinely mysoginistoc. More likely to be ignorance, and could have been picked up from anywhere, not just their parents.

That’s coming from experience in inclusions in the education sector, and raising my own teenage boys to be respectful and polite young men, who are able to fight their own battles intellectually.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

East Sussex

Find out more

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
34 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

The OP doesn’t say what gender the other child was but it’s interesting that quite a proportion of respondents have assumed it was a boy, it may well have been, but we weren’t actually given that information.

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By *ushandkittyCouple
34 weeks ago

Gloucester

A lot of people assuming a boy was the name caller.

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By *oannesTV/TS
34 weeks ago

Trafford

I have read one comment suggesting it was a boy in the entire thread, stop being sexist!

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

The parents gotta square up

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
34 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"I have read one comment suggesting it was a boy in the entire thread, stop being sexist!"

Get your eyes tested

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By *oannesTV/TS
34 weeks ago

Trafford

"I have read one comment suggesting it was a boy in the entire thread, stop being sexist!

Get your eyes tested "

Just read again, you are correct, Ill retract what I said

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By *ad NannaWoman
34 weeks ago

East London

I'd tell my daughter that in her lifetime she's going to be called many names by all kinds of people, and to take no notice, but, if they keep harassing her to tell me and I'll talk to her teacher about bullying on school premises.

Sticks and stones.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
34 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"I have read one comment suggesting it was a boy in the entire thread, stop being sexist!

Get your eyes tested

Just read again, you are correct, Ill retract what I said

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By *anenkamCouple
34 weeks ago

manchester

Did she post nudes on social media?

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
34 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

"Did she post nudes on social media?"

At 11? What’s wrong with you

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By *uri00620Woman
34 weeks ago

Croydon

"Did she post nudes on social media?

At 11? What’s wrong with you "

Not unheard of unfortunately. We deal with this stuff all the time.

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By *ig1gaz1Man
34 weeks ago

bradford

When shes called a name tell your daughter to reply with.

It takes one to call someone one.

shes not actually repeated the nasty name.

Its what I taught both my children to say.

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By *ornucopiaMan
34 weeks ago

Bexley

Surely the best way forward is to ask people for advice on Tik Tok?

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By *he Flat Caps OP Couple
34 weeks ago

Pontypool

It was a boy.

I don't believe he knew the meaning of the word, although he had already called her a dickhead before he called her a slut. And teased her about her physical appearance.

I don't know the parents to speak to them directly.

There as a now rather old video available on you tube, called Dear Daddy. If you haven't seen it, it's worth a view.

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By *he Flat Caps OP Couple
34 weeks ago

Pontypool

"Did she post nudes on social media?"

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By *TG3Man
34 weeks ago

Dorchester

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do? "
nothing its just words and at that age they don't have a clue what they mean.

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By *ustfulbigboyMan
34 weeks ago

North Wales

This is what I'm dreading if this was ever to happen to my daughter because I know the sensible thing to do is first speak to the school, thing is she's my whole world so I know I would skip the sensible option and find out who the parents are and go straight to them.

I'm so sorry to hear that's happened to your daughter and in primary school of all places.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

School is vicious.

Teach my child how to look after their selves, mentally and physically.

I look back at the names I was called and threw around myself. Slut? That’s standard taunting. And yes, in primary school, slag was the go to when hearing girl’s arguments.

Homophobic slurs was what the lads use to pull out in a fight.

*i’m not saying it’s right, I’m saying if this didn’t happen to you when you were young, you must have been lucky.

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By *he Flat Caps OP Couple
34 weeks ago

Pontypool

I did speak to the school, and I did explain that I didn't think he knew the meaning of the word, but he's picked it up from somewhere, and if it goes unchallenged he will think it's ok to use those words and worse as he grows up. The Dear Daddy video explains it perfectly.

She did call him a swear word back, that she didn't know the meaning of, and I explained it was a very bad word and took away phone privileges. In my mind, calling names back is sinking to their level, and doesn't resolve anything.

I don't agree that as a girl she'd better get used to it. She needs to understand it's her right to challenge anybody using derogatory words and behaviour towards her.

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By *ellhungvweMan
34 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"I'd tell my daughter that in her lifetime she's going to be called many names by all kinds of people, and to take no notice, but, if they keep harassing her to tell me and I'll talk to her teacher about bullying on school premises.

Sticks and stones.

This

I don’t get why everyone thinks it is on the school to deal with - our job as parents is to teach our kids to be resilient and they are going to have to deal with stuff like this in life.

I 100% agree it is young but I can remember stuff like this being said by kids at that age (no one really understood what it meant) and the key is for _you_ to teach _your_ child how to respond.

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By *atureyorksCouple
34 weeks ago

Leeds

100% agree with your actions. There is no excuse to be called that, regardless of whether he knew what it meant. Harsh lesson for her but you are a great mum if she understands she needs to rise above idiots at school, it will only stand her in good stead for life x

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Sticks and stones.

This

I don’t get why everyone thinks it is on the school to deal with - our job as parents is to teach our kids to be resilient and they are going to have to deal with stuff like this in life.

I 100% agree it is young but I can remember stuff like this being said by kids at that age (no one really understood what it meant) and the key is for _you_ to teach _your_ child how to respond."

It is partly the schools job though. If it happened in school they should be the ones talking to the boy. If they don't then they aren't a good school.

Then it would be down to me to talk to my daughter about how boys are immature dicks.

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By *illie fitMan
34 weeks ago

Bournemouth

My views are that, name calling yes it’s wrong but what harm has it caused? Nothing, if your child is upset by being called names STOP tell her it’s just a “word” it cant hurt you, unless you let it

We should stop being so sensitive in this country stop always playing the victim, brush it off and move on

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By *T89Man
34 weeks ago

Llandudno

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do? "

Drop the nut

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By *he Flat Caps OP Couple
34 weeks ago

Pontypool

I don’t get why everyone thinks it is on the school to deal with - our job as parents is to teach our kids to be resilient and they are going to have to deal with stuff like this in life.

I 100% agree it is young but I can remember stuff like this being said by kids at that age (no one really understood what it meant) and the key is for _you_ to teach _your_ child how to respond."

I do teach my children how to behave appropriately, but unfortunately not all parents do. And when faced with such unpleasantness, I advise them how to respond without meeting that person on their level.

I think it is something of which the school should be aware, because if some children are not getting the moral guidance at home, it needs to come from somewhere. There does seem to be a wider problem, as I overheard a conversation about 69s, one child saying they knew what it was.

As a rights respecting school, there is regular input around healthy relationships and how best to treat others, so the school can address it under that umbrella and not single out any individuals.

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By *ellhungvweMan
34 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I don’t get why everyone thinks it is on the school to deal with - our job as parents is to teach our kids to be resilient and they are going to have to deal with stuff like this in life.

I 100% agree it is young but I can remember stuff like this being said by kids at that age (no one really understood what it meant) and the key is for _you_ to teach _your_ child how to respond.

As a rights respecting school, there is regular input around healthy relationships and how best to treat others, so the school can address it under that umbrella and not single out any individuals. "

I agree - I didn’t meant to suggest it was solely on the parents and Coyote is right in that it is a balance. I was simply pushing back on the fact everyone was saying it is on the school.

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By *rHotNottsMan
34 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Talk to her.

I wouldn’t bother contacting the school, I might mention it to the head or chair of governors informally when I met them next.

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By *ellhungvweMan
34 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"Talk to her.

I wouldn’t bother contacting the school, I might mention it to the head or chair of governors informally when I met them next."

I do find that discussing these types of issues with the chair of governors whilst you are banging her in front of her husband tends to get them resolved quite quickly.

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By *he Flat Caps OP Couple
34 weeks ago

Pontypool

I agree - I didn’t meant to suggest it was solely on the parents and Coyote is right in that it is a balance. I was simply pushing back on the fact everyone was saying it is on the school. "

Absolutely, it should start at home, and the school reinforce appropriate behaviour and language, but for those children who come from homes where that language is used, the staff at the schools become the appropriate role models.

Another poster asked what harm was done. She knew it was a bad word, but doesn't know it's meaning. She was upset, because he had called her other names already. The harm is if that boy isn't challenged and pulled up on his language, he's going to think that it's ok to say that, and worse, and so misogyny and male privilege perpetuates.

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
34 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

Push the little fucker off the swing

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By *oldAndBoundlessMan
34 weeks ago

Bradford

This is Too much to take in on this fine Saturday morning,

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By *TG3Man
34 weeks ago

Dorchester

My girls were angels just saying

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By *rHotNottsMan
34 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Talk to her.

I wouldn’t bother contacting the school, I might mention it to the head or chair of governors informally when I met them next.

I do find that discussing these types of issues with the chair of governors whilst you are banging her in front of her husband tends to get them resolved quite quickly."

Exactly !

But seriously you have chosen the best school you can find, with great values and leadership.

It’s the UK ? Even the best run schools are gonna have that culture leaking in. Feedback at senior leadership level is the best way to get change

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
34 weeks ago

Leeds

I'd speak to the school, the child probably didn't know what the insult even ment that's not excusing it, someone needs to sit them down and explain it's not acceptable and how it can hurt someone's feelings - I'm sure the school would approach the parents with this complaint too if you don't have the details.

If nothing changes I'd personally follow him home and speak to the parents myself, maybe tripping the fucker up on the way.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"Talk to her.

I wouldn’t bother contacting the school, I might mention it to the head or chair of governors informally when I met them next.

I do find that discussing these types of issues with the chair of governors whilst you are banging her in front of her husband tends to get them resolved quite quickly.

Exactly !

But seriously you have chosen the best school you can find, with great values and leadership.

It’s the UK ? Even the best run schools are gonna have that culture leaking in. Feedback at senior leadership level is the best way to get change "

I wouldn't go to the chair of governors, in my experience they aren't the best.

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By *rHotNottsMan
34 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Talk to her.

I wouldn’t bother contacting the school, I might mention it to the head or chair of governors informally when I met them next.

I do find that discussing these types of issues with the chair of governors whilst you are banging her in front of her husband tends to get them resolved quite quickly.

Exactly !

But seriously you have chosen the best school you can find, with great values and leadership.

It’s the UK ? Even the best run schools are gonna have that culture leaking in. Feedback at senior leadership level is the best way to get change

I wouldn't go to the chair of governors, in my experience they aren't the best. "

Either a strong head or a strong chair - usually. It’s useful to know them both

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By *ools and the brainCouple
34 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Ha e any of you actually heard the way kid's speak to each other and everyone else these days??

It's hardly surprising that the term slut is bandied about, this place is a good example of the use of the word with many using it in usernames.

In the vanilla world you can buy t-shirts and underwear with it on, the term has been softened massively by todays society.

Seriously what's going to happen with the person who has said it?

Nothing that's what, discipline in schools is practically non existent and teachers aren't allowed to single kids out.

Parents who don't think their kids use such words really need to educate yourself.

It's not right,I'm a strict parent and rules and respect have always been at the forefront of bringing up our children and grandchildren but I'm also a realist and believe that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

The context of the insult needs to be investigated tho is it part of a bigger picture of bullying or was it a situation of tit for tat?

I'd say talk to daughter get her honest opinion ask if there's more to it then monitor for possible escalation.

Going to the school and creating a fuss may make daughter more of a target, however that said the parents of the child maybe unaware and mortified to hear that their child said this but generally speaking kid's are mean and cruel to each other they always have been and always will be.

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
34 weeks ago

southampton

"Complain to the school, ask them how they are going to address this across the entire school as there’s clearly a problem with a misogynistic culture amongst students "

How triggered are you? Might of been girl to girl.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
34 weeks ago

chichester

Kids using phones / pads at young age with no control are just picking up on everything and replicating what they say hear and see

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By *he Flat Caps OP Couple
34 weeks ago

Pontypool

How triggered are you? Might of been girl to girl. "

It's already been stated that it was a boy who said it.

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
34 weeks ago

southampton

How triggered are you? Might of been girl to girl.

It's already been stated that it was a boy who said it. "

Not 10hrs ago though when that was posted?

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
34 weeks ago

somewhere

I have a step son who always misses vital parts of what happened and the reasons that led to whatever encounter happened, I'm not saying it's right whatsoever but there is a difference from messing about in a conversation and everyone hurling insults to a person just strolling on up and going "you're a slut". Id need more information before I went savage at the school x

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By *ools and the brainCouple
34 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

I had a conversation with a teacher recently in a secondary school after witnessing their work day constantly dealing with bad behaviour and issues by 3pm he looked like he'd just finished a 48hr shift non stop.

I asked him he was saying it's like playing "whack-a-mole" as soon as you have dealt with one situation another pops up immediately, teachers spend more time dealing with issues than teaching now.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
34 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"I have a step son who always misses vital parts of what happened and the reasons that led to whatever encounter happened, I'm not saying it's right whatsoever but there is a difference from messing about in a conversation and everyone hurling insults to a person just strolling on up and going "you're a slut". Id need more information before I went savage at the school x"

Absolutely 100% agree.

Common sense is required and as I said further up are we sure it's not tit for tat.

Kid's are mean

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By *he Flat Caps OP Couple
34 weeks ago

Pontypool

Absolutely 100% agree.

Common sense is required and as I said further up are we sure it's not tit for tat.

Kid's are mean "

It was not tit for tat. She asked why he was being mean to her and could they be friends.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

East Sussex

If you're concerned speak to a teacher. There were one or two occasions where we needed to do that, it was always dealt with.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 11/05/24 08:58:19]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 11/05/24 08:58:22]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"I did speak to the school, and I did explain that I didn't think he knew the meaning of the word, but he's picked it up from somewhere, and if it goes unchallenged he will think it's ok to use those words and worse as he grows up. The Dear Daddy video explains it perfectly.

I don't agree that as a girl she'd better get used to it. She needs to understand it's her right to challenge anybody using derogatory words and behaviour towards her.

I did write a reply but then I read this ...... WTG mum x

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By *ot to giggleWoman
34 weeks ago

Coventry

i would cover it with my child that they were/are ok and that they had heard it correctly. Then i would be onto the school for a discussion about the language being used by this particular child. makes you wonder on the language being used at home if they are happily banding this around at this age.

Kids are horrible - they use words they hear regularly, learnt behaviour and unfortunately there aint not parenting guide books!!

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By *alandNitaCouple
34 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

In my opinion, the best defence against insults is to refuse to be offended by them... I know it's sometimes difficult, but not reacting takes away any feeling of power they might feel by insulting you.

I've always taken the view that the only people who's opinions of me that matter are my own and those I love.

These types incidents should certainly be reported to the school, and parents should insist on being informed on actions taken.

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By *NewBNWOMan
34 weeks ago

back

does your daughter understand what it was that was said about her when he called her it? He is probably just repeating something he's heard which doesn't make it any better & I'd be fuming if my lil girl was called it but context is important

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By *he Flat Caps OP Couple
34 weeks ago

Pontypool

"does your daughter understand what it was that was said about her when he called her it? He is probably just repeating something he's heard which doesn't make it any better & I'd be fuming if my lil girl was called it but context is important"

She knows it's a swear word,but not its meaning. I don't believe he knows the meaning either, but he's heard it used and repeated it. He needs to understand it's not appropriate language, which is why I've spoken to staff at the school.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
34 weeks ago

East Sussex

An incident happened with our son who came home with certain symbols drawn on him that represented his/our ethnic background. I don't believe the boys who did it fully understood the implications of them and the history connected to them. I asked the school to address it because I thought they needed to know and they would treat it as a learning experience rather than a telling off. We also wanted our son to know that it wasn't acceptable but that sometimes it's lack of knowledge rather than anything else.

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By *ellhungvweMan
34 weeks ago

Cheltenham

He said a word he didn’t know the meaning of. She said a word she didn’t knew the meaning of.

The issue here is that children are mirroring what they see in the rest of their lives - the fact that both children used words they shouldn’t have means that they both have been exposed to them at some point.

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By *he Flat Caps OP Couple
34 weeks ago

Pontypool

He said a word he didn’t know the meaning of. She said a word she didn’t knew the meaning of.

I agree, she has been exposed to swear words, but not in my house. I try to set a good example for her, and I have explained to her that it's not acceptable to use words that she doesn't understand and words that she knows are swear words.

I can't stop her hearing these words outside my home, but I can pro-socially role model and educate her around what is appropriate language and behaviour.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
34 weeks ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I don't agree that as a girl she'd better get used to it. She needs to understand it's her right to challenge anybody using derogatory words and behaviour towards her.

You sound like a great parent. Very well handled!

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By *rHotNottsMan
34 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

He said a word he didn’t know the meaning of. She said a word she didn’t knew the meaning of.

I can't stop her hearing these words outside my home, but I can pro-socially role model and educate her around what is appropriate language and behaviour. "

What age will you teach them the swear words ?

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do? "

I’d advise her strongly that it’s only words and he’s a cunt however if it was really upsetting her and disturbing her sanity is highly suggest a strong throat punch at a very hard and direct kick between his legs

FAFO

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By *ambertMan
34 weeks ago

Cheltenham

Set fire to the whole place

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By *irthandgirthMan
34 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do? "

I taught my daughter to look after herself, teaching her Muay Thai and Jujitsu. I would expect her to take care of business there and then. Then when I got called into the office, I would tear a strip off the other kids parents for their failings.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

This is the way

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By *ellhungvweMan
34 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

This is the way

Really? Someone says something unkind/vulgar and you think the correct response is violence?

Violence is for when violence comes at you. Words are for when words come at you.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

This is the way

Really? Someone says something unkind/vulgar and you think the correct response is violence?

Violence is for when violence comes at you. Words are for when words come at you."

In response to MY original comment I’d first advise ignoring the twat but failing that and if it affected my daughters wellbeing then fuck yeah I’d advocate violence every time.

Some people do not respond or stop with words alone

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
34 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go

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By *ellhungvweMan
34 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

This is the way

Really? Someone says something unkind/vulgar and you think the correct response is violence?

Violence is for when violence comes at you. Words are for when words come at you.

In response to MY original comment I’d first advise ignoring the twat but failing that and if it affected my daughters wellbeing then fuck yeah I’d advocate violence every time.

Some people do not respond or stop with words alone

So is that your considered opinion everytime your daughter gets upset?

In later life, a boyfriend tells her he has found someone else and wants to move on. She is in tears. Answer is go smash his face in?

Her boss criticises her work and upsets her. Answer is put them in hospital?

We are talking about a _playground_ spat between _primary_ school kids - _both_ of whom used words that_neither_ of them understood. If you are genuinely telling children the correct response is to lash out when you are upset then I am lost for words.

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By *ellinever70Woman
34 weeks ago

Ayrshire

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

Did you also teach her that violence doesn't solve most issues?

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By *idewillyMan
34 weeks ago

poole

I got called a lot more things than that when i was at school and out of school even got jumped by 10 a group of about 10 guys about the age of 21 when i was 17 coming out of a local gig for no reason at all the cowards bet they wouldn't try it now things were different then but sometimes you have to stand up in whatever way you see fit

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

This is the way

Really? Someone says something unkind/vulgar and you think the correct response is violence?

Violence is for when violence comes at you. Words are for when words come at you.

In response to MY original comment I’d first advise ignoring the twat but failing that and if it affected my daughters wellbeing then fuck yeah I’d advocate violence every time.

Some people do not respond or stop with words alone

So is that your considered opinion everytime your daughter gets upset?

In later life, a boyfriend tells her he has found someone else and wants to move on. She is in tears. Answer is go smash his face in?

Her boss criticises her work and upsets her. Answer is put them in hospital?

Did I say upset? I said affects my daughters well being

I teach all of my kids, boys and girls, that life isn’t easy and emotions are natural and expected but I draw the line, regardless of age, at any form of bullying and although just a playground spat this child who’s saying very unpleasant things will not change in the future due to the fact that such words and behaviours are taught and often encouraged.

Words can not hurt anyone, even from keyboard warriors, however some individuals need a life check to ensure such behaviour is hopefully stopped early rather than later.

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By *ellhungvweMan
34 weeks ago

Cheltenham

Words can not hurt anyone, even from keyboard warriors, however some individuals need a life check to ensure such behaviour is hopefully stopped early rather than later. "

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By *ools and the brainCouple
34 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

Bring back the stocks in the village square, throwing rotten fruit and veg.

And public flogging, sent off to sea to be a cabin boy.

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By *iddle ManMan
34 weeks ago

Walsall

I have two daughters of similar and slightly older ages, so resisting the urge to rectify the situation myself, you would be advised to push the school for their policy on such poor behaviour. Failing the school act, I'd be tempted to contact the parents and let them know. You will probably find the parents to be of a similar vocal stand point of their child.

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By *irthandgirthMan
34 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

This is the way

Really? Someone says something unkind/vulgar and you think the correct response is violence?

Violence is for when violence comes at you. Words are for when words come at you."

At what point did I say I would expect my daughter to use physical violence? I said I have taught her enough to take care of business herself. If stepping on a mat doesn't phase her, do you think words do?

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By *jorkishMan
34 weeks ago

Seaforth

Lot of presumptions that this was said by a male. I've heard females call other females slots. Regardless of gender I'd go to the school and talk to the head and give them the name of the pupil

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By *irthandgirthMan
34 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

Did you also teach her that violence doesn't solve most issues?"

I instilled confidence in her and taught her balance, coordination, technique, how to stand up for herself and others, to be kind and fair, but to take no shit from people. If someone brings violence, to return it if there is no other option.

Next question.

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By *irthandgirthMan
34 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go

I hold a 4th Degree black belt in Jujitsu, and I've fought Muay Thai in Thailand. They get 1 free swing..

And I never said I would encourage my daughter to resort to violence. That is what is known as you reading meaning into someone else's words. I said I would expect her to take care of it herself.

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By *ansoffateMan
34 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I'd talk to my daughter about how it had effected her and whether she felt any action was necessary.

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By *ooBulMan
34 weeks ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

Woosh the little bastard with a bucket of water in front of their mates wearing a wig & sun glasses. You technically didn't lay a finger on them.

Failing that tell her to go full Machiavellian & spread false rumours about the perpetrator.....

Two can play at that game!

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By *ooBulMan
34 weeks ago

Missin’ Yo’ Kissin’

If you don't know the type of rumour look at the "Brassic" series. One pops up almost every other episode through the length of the series...

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By *layfullsamMan
34 weeks ago

Solihull

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do? "

Have a word with the culprits parents about the error of their little darlings ways

Inform the teacher and ask for an update by a set date on exactly how it’s been dealt with.

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

Be disappointed that this type of language has found its way into the vocabulary of a 10 year old and then look to speak with the school and ensure education is provided!!

And then name and shame the child’s parents on Facebook (i don’t have it) and start the nasty rumours that it’s them that are the sluts….yes….im a vindictive shithead!!

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
34 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go

I hold a 4th Degree black belt in Jujitsu, and I've fought Muay Thai in Thailand. They get 1 free swing..

And I never said I would encourage my daughter to resort to violence. That is what is known as you reading meaning into someone else's words. I said I would expect her to take care of it herself."

You stated how you had taught her 2 martial arts and then followed that by stating that you would expect her to take care of business there and then.

This quite clearly has no insinuation of talking things through, clearly the opposite, you are now back peddling faster than Wylie Coyote approaching the canyon edge.

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By *irthandgirthMan
34 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go

I hold a 4th Degree black belt in Jujitsu, and I've fought Muay Thai in Thailand. They get 1 free swing..

And I never said I would encourage my daughter to resort to violence. That is what is known as you reading meaning into someone else's words. I said I would expect her to take care of it herself.

You stated how you had taught her 2 martial arts and then followed that by stating that you would expect her to take care of business there and then.

This quite clearly has no insinuation of talking things through, clearly the opposite, you are now back peddling faster than Wylie Coyote approaching the canyon edge.

So you think teaching kids martial arts automatically turns them into violent thugs, and doesn't also instil confidence and give them a range of possibilities to stand up for themselves, with self defence at one end of the spectrum?

OK bub

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By (user no longer on site)
34 weeks ago

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go

I hold a 4th Degree black belt in Jujitsu, and I've fought Muay Thai in Thailand. They get 1 free swing..

And I never said I would encourage my daughter to resort to violence. That is what is known as you reading meaning into someone else's words. I said I would expect her to take care of it herself.

You stated how you had taught her 2 martial arts and then followed that by stating that you would expect her to take care of business there and then.

This quite clearly has no insinuation of talking things through, clearly the opposite, you are now back peddling faster than Wylie Coyote approaching the canyon edge.

Butting in, because I can

But it says “taking care of herself” so your assumption that this means violent action is a mis read on your behalf because taking care of herself could actually mean using her vocabulary to shame and upset the perpetrator

However if the perp at 10 years old is using words like stated to upset someone I’m confident that words aimed at them would lead to embarrassment making the perp violent at which point this gentleman’s daughter would hurt the cunt like never before and rightly so

I experienced such bastards of both genders when growing up and it wasn’t pleasant however one day I found out I was stronger than I believed in myself and never suffered from that day

Violence doesn’t solve everything but it sure helps

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By *olly MistlehoeWoman
34 weeks ago

Somewhere

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go

I hold a 4th Degree black belt in Jujitsu, and I've fought Muay Thai in Thailand. They get 1 free swing..

And I never said I would encourage my daughter to resort to violence. That is what is known as you reading meaning into someone else's words. I said I would expect her to take care of it herself."

Take care of it herself if she's getting verbal abuse slung her way?

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By *emorefridaCouple
34 weeks ago

La la land

My eldest came back from school at the same age, being called a pussy by another kid. I asked him if he knew what it meant. Turned out neither him nor the kid calling him it actually knew. Told him that him and the other child came out of a pussy, and if that was an insult the bully needed to try harder. Handed power back to him over the bully who was left red faced.

Kids know all the bad language at young ages, they may not know what it actually means but they know them. I think it's pretty naive to think they don't. My kids are allowed to ask me what these words mean without getting themselves in trouble. And then they're explained in an age appropriate manner.

You can't control other people's kids or people full stop. I'd have words with your child and explain what is and is not appropriate language. And why language can be so hateful.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

This is the way

Really? Someone says something unkind/vulgar and you think the correct response is violence?

Violence is for when violence comes at you. Words are for when words come at you.

I like the Moonwalk

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By *riel13Woman
34 weeks ago

Northampton

Do either of them understand what the word actually means?!

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
34 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

"My eldest came back from school at the same age, being called a pussy by another kid. I asked him if he knew what it meant. Turned out neither him nor the kid calling him it actually knew. Told him that him and the other child came out of a pussy, and if that was an insult the bully needed to try harder. Handed power back to him over the bully who was left red faced.

You can't control other people's kids or people full stop. I'd have words with your child and explain what is and is not appropriate language. And why language can be so hateful.

It means cat.......

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By *emorefridaCouple
34 weeks ago

La la land

You can't control other people's kids or people full stop. I'd have words with your child and explain what is and is not appropriate language. And why language can be so hateful.

It means cat.......

I started with that, but he knew it meant something else too.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
34 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go

I hold a 4th Degree black belt in Jujitsu, and I've fought Muay Thai in Thailand. They get 1 free swing..

And I never said I would encourage my daughter to resort to violence. That is what is known as you reading meaning into someone else's words. I said I would expect her to take care of it herself.

You stated how you had taught her 2 martial arts and then followed that by stating that you would expect her to take care of business there and then.

This quite clearly has no insinuation of talking things through, clearly the opposite, you are now back peddling faster than Wylie Coyote approaching the canyon edge.

Butting in, because I can

I experienced such bastards of both genders when growing up and it wasn’t pleasant however one day I found out I was stronger than I believed in myself and never suffered from that day

Violence doesn’t solve everything but it sure helps

Butting in cos I can

Perhaps you want to re read it yourself, it quite clearly says taking care of “ business “, not taking care of herself

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By *ornucopiaMan
33 weeks ago

Bexley

"Be disappointed that this type of language has found its way into the vocabulary of a 10 year old and then look to speak with the school and ensure education is provided!!

Has nobody noticed that the age of innocence has been over for some time now. You can't have mass media and gadgets for all and expect children not to learn things which used to be way out of their range of experience in previous decades.

The damage has been done forever. Aided and abbetted by the type of dozy feckless parents who a perceptive friend, formerly from another culture, refers to as 'Fuck alls'!

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By *heGateKeeperMan
33 weeks ago

Stratford

Do we treat our sons and daughters differently?

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By *ames250122Man
33 weeks ago

Worcester

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do? "

Talk to her teacher and ask them to get the other teacher so the three of you can discuss issue and that you’d like their teacher to have a word with them. I’m a little fuzzy on what year kids start secondary school but if they’re at primary school they probably don’t realise the seriousness of what they’re saying and acting out how they’ve seen an older person behave x

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By *armandwet50Couple
33 weeks ago

Far far away

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do? "

Way too many people on this post have assumed it was a male, without knowing that from the OP's statement, shame on you all

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By *ames250122Man
33 weeks ago

Worcester

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

Sorry I’ll try writing that again as I missed a lot of words out lol:

Talk to her teacher and ask them to get the other students teacher so the three of you can discuss the issue and say you’d like their teacher to have a word with them (I’m assuming they’re not in the same class). I’m a little fuzzy on what year kids start secondary school but if they’re at primary school they probably don’t realise the seriousness of what they’re saying and acting out how they’ve seen an older person behave x

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
33 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 12/05/24 05:23:34]

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By *he Flat Caps OP Couple
33 weeks ago

Pontypool

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

Way too many people on this post have assumed it was a male, without knowing that from the OP's statement, shame on you all

It was confirmed in a later post that it was a boy.

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By *irthandgirthMan
33 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

"At age 11 was called a slut by someone in yr 5 (age 10), what would you do?

And whilst you are tearing a strip of the other kid’s parents, one of them knocks your teeth down your throat because your kid physically assaulted their kid. Yeah, way to go

I hold a 4th Degree black belt in Jujitsu, and I've fought Muay Thai in Thailand. They get 1 free swing..

And I never said I would encourage my daughter to resort to violence. That is what is known as you reading meaning into someone else's words. I said I would expect her to take care of it herself.

You stated how you had taught her 2 martial arts and then followed that by stating that you would expect her to take care of business there and then.

This quite clearly has no insinuation of talking things through, clearly the opposite, you are now back peddling faster than Wylie Coyote approaching the canyon edge.

Butting in, because I can

I experienced such bastards of both genders when growing up and it wasn’t pleasant however one day I found out I was stronger than I believed in myself and never suffered from that day

Violence doesn’t solve everything but it sure helps

Speaking from a position of first hand experience, I had a student several years ago. 9 years old, with some physical and cognitive limitations. He managed to curtail 2 bullies who had been mercilessly picking on him for a couple of years, in a situation where he felt threatened. Did he kick the shit out of them? No. Was he attacked first? No. Did he apply some effective technique that put a stop to the bullying and without injuring either of the bullies? Yes. Was I proud? Absolutely. Was his dad proud? Couldn't be prouder. Do I still have the letter commending my training, 20 years later? Yes.

Will I debate people who don't know the difference between being physically capable and violent? Nope.

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By *emorefridaCouple
33 weeks ago

La la land

"Be disappointed that this type of language has found its way into the vocabulary of a 10 year old and then look to speak with the school and ensure education is provided!!

The damage has been done forever. Aided and abbetted by the type of dozy feckless parents who a perceptive friend, formerly from another culture, refers to as 'Fuck alls'!"

You're looking at life through rose tinted glasses. I was pinned down in the final year of primary school by a gang of girls and boys to see if my cuffs and collars matched. And that was back in the dark ages. People really need to stop pretending things were so much different decades ago.

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By *oberts_onMan
33 weeks ago

King's Lynn

My daughter is around that age and has been bought up to not take any shit from anyone, so if that did happen, I'd probably be up the school being asked about why she'd beaten 7 shades of shit out of whoever said it!

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By *heel markMan
33 weeks ago

beside the sea

"My daughter is around that age and has been bought up to not take any shit from anyone, so if that did happen, I'd probably be up the school being asked about why she'd beaten 7 shades of shit out of whoever said it!

Well you've taught her well for the big world , someone upsets her ,straight to violence, well done you .

I've taught my boys to ignore any knobheads ,sticks and stones and all that . It's served them well .

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