FabSwingers.com forum: Farts.....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Very childish but the skools have broken up and we're all feeling a bit silly. So......What's your funniest fart story?

I once had a young lady let out a ripper midway through rimming her. Through the farty fog I looked up and she glared at me and with a completely straight face she told me "Well? What did you expect? It's an arsehole". I retired to the bathroom and stuffed a whole towel in my mouth to stifle the giggles.

Let's just say we didn't meet again.

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By *adgeeMan
over a year ago

Sw Scotland

"Very childish but the skools have broken up and we're all feeling a bit silly. So......What's your funniest fart story?

Let's just say we didn't meet again. "

Classy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just read that and now laughing my head off...well funny

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Very childish but the skools have broken up and we're all feeling a bit silly. So......What's your funniest fart story?

Let's just say we didn't meet again.

Classy

Just glad she had a salad instead of the planned Lamb Madras !!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very childish but the skools have broken up and we're all feeling a bit silly. So......What's your funniest fart story?

Let's just say we didn't meet again. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very childish but the skools have broken up and we're all feeling a bit silly. So......What's your funniest fart story?

Let's just say we didn't meet again. "

Ewwww that is so wrong (((vomit)))

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh that made me chuckle.... Thanks for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/03/13 17:23:27]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was behind a rather posh old lady in M&S a while ago and she bent down to get something off the bottom shelf and let out a rip roarer!

She turned, looked me straight in the eye and said "If you dare laugh I shall strike you with my basket".

I made a hasty retreat and pissed myself all the way to the car park.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My grandma is, how do I put this, slightly stuck up (I love her dearly but she calls a toilet a lavatory) years ago my grandfather and I were picking her up from yoga and as we were opening the front door to their bungalow she let out quite a loud fart, followed by "oops, that was Gilly!" I have to say I chuckled quite a lot!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was behind a rather posh old lady in M&S a while ago and she bent down to get something off the bottom shelf and let out a rip roarer!

She turned, looked me straight in the eye and said "If you dare laugh I shall strike you with my basket".

I made a hasty retreat and pissed myself all the way to the car park."

Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

years ago when i lived with my ex husband, we lived in flats, we lived on the top floor, on the way up the flight of stairs,as we reached the landing i felt a fart brewing, on the way up the 2nd flight of stairs (me in front) my ex decided to poke my arse with his finger, so i let the fart rip!!!!!! needless to say i was in fits of laughter but my ex didnt find it so funny, he said "he felt the wind on his finger" ha ha ha ha ha ha upon hearing that i was crying with laughter!!!

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"Very childish but the skools have broken up and we're all feeling a bit silly. So......What's your funniest fart story?

Let's just say we didn't meet again.

Classy

Very

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Cant say I got story to tell...Funny or not....

But I will say, IF something like that did happen on a meet, I would laugh and hope that guy im with would laugh....

And im talking about him farting....not me! (im a lady)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cant say I got story to tell...Funny or not....

But I will say, IF something like that did happen on a meet, I would laugh and hope that guy im with would laugh....

And im talking about him farting....not me! (im a lady)

Classy !!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I was behind a rather posh old lady in M&S a while ago and she bent down to get something off the bottom shelf and let out a rip roarer!

She turned, looked me straight in the eye and said "If you dare laugh I shall strike you with my basket".

I made a hasty retreat and pissed myself all the way to the car park."

Ha ha. Can't believe she had the balls to follow up a fart and threaten you lol. A quick peek in her basket would have shown sprouts, chilli and a tikka masala ready meal lol.

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By *ethany10Couple
over a year ago

falkirk

Just be thankful she didn't follow through.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My grandma is, how do I put this, slightly stuck up (I love her dearly but she calls a toilet a lavatory) years ago my grandfather and I were picking her up from yoga and as we were opening the front door to their bungalow she let out quite a loud fart, followed by "oops, that was Gilly!" I have to say I chuckled quite a lot! "

Whoose Gilly lol.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"Cant say I got story to tell...Funny or not....

But I will say, IF something like that did happen on a meet, I would laugh and hope that guy im with would laugh....

And im talking about him farting....not me! (im a lady)

Classy !!!!"

So you think I should tell him how disgusting he is and ask him to leave?

Id rather have a good laugh about it, and not behind his back.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cant say I got story to tell...Funny or not....

But I will say, IF something like that did happen on a meet, I would laugh and hope that guy im with would laugh....

And im talking about him farting....not me! (im a lady)

Classy !!!!

So you think I should tell him how disgusting he is and ask him to leave?

Id rather have a good laugh about it, and not behind his back....."

Even if they 'followed through' ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahahaha ya know what I just crawled into bed feeling a bit sorry for myself and came across this post and I am in fits of laughter!!!! My cat is laid next to me looking at me as if I've gone crackers!!! Lol thank u OP for cheering me up and the rest of u xxxx but I must add, last night in bed my cat crawled under the covers and me having a iffy belly let one go and the smell was horrendous, she literally shot out of the covers giving me the dirtiest look I've ever seen lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hahahaha ya know what I just crawled into bed feeling a bit sorry for myself and came across this post and I am in fits of laughter!!!! My cat is laid next to me looking at me as if I've gone crackers!!! Lol thank u OP for cheering me up and the rest of u xxxx but I must add, last night in bed my cat crawled under the covers and me having a iffy belly let one go and the smell was horrendous, she literally shot out of the covers giving me the dirtiest look I've ever seen lol xx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread has me peeing my self.

you got to love British bottom humour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the funniest ones are when you're in a shop and let a silent but deadly one go, casually walk a few yards and then see the people's faces as they're trying to work out where it's come from!!! Lol

Of course I've neeeeever done that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Glad you enjoyed my post. Now seeing as your an anal loving, sexy fart appreciating chick I demand marriage. My ideal woman.

Please PM me to discuss dates and venues

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Haha I love a good fart thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't tell mine it's off the cringe-scale!

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By *att007Man
over a year ago

hastings

I farted in a shop at the till, walked off and shop keeper blamed my mate and through him out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can't tell mine it's off the cringe-scale! "

As the OP I demand you tell all! PM if it's really bad lol.

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By *leurCouple
over a year ago

West Hull

Classic Farts

1) Peter Sellers in the lift

2) Mel Blanc in Blazing Saddles

Apart from that never mind the curry hope they haven't been eating peanuts or you could get pebbledashed

Happy Easter

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By *att007Man
over a year ago

hastings

how bad on the cringe scale ? Were all dying to know

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By *o1mrtlcMan
over a year ago

cannock

"years ago when i lived with my ex husband, we lived in flats, we lived on the top floor, on the way up the flight of stairs,as we reached the landing i felt a fart brewing, on the way up the 2nd flight of stairs (me in front) my ex decided to poke my arse with his finger, so i let the fart rip!!!!!! needless to say i was in fits of laughter but my ex didnt find it so funny, he said "he felt the wind on his finger" ha ha ha ha ha ha upon hearing that i was crying with laughter!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol,im a big kid still and cannot help but laugh at anything fart related.

Was infact in the bank today and noticed someone must have let one rip,carried on as you do and tried not to breath/laugh at the same time.

Was nearly at the door for a nice breath of fresh air so i said to my 9 year old.....phewww someone stinks,to which he replied looking and shouting out loud,its that old lady she stinks like egg.

Laughing out loud i dare not look back.

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

My very naughty late father used to love walking through a busy high street with me by his side, and would often let a loud one go, then look at me with absolute disgust on his face as though I was the culprit !!!!

I used to be mortified, but found it very funny at the same time, it makes me smile remembering it now .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the blokes in work was telling me of a romantic break he had with a girl he fancied, they decided to share a bath.

She was in front of him facing away from him, she farted in the bath and followed through. That killed romantic vibe and the future relationship, when told us were pissing our sides with laughter.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

It can be quite amusing to 'accidently' drop something. Then when the kindly volunteer bends down to pick it up, you let em have it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"One of the blokes in work was telling me of a romantic break he had with a girl he fancied, they decided to share a bath.

She was in front of him facing away from him, she farted in the bath and followed through. That killed romantic vibe and the future relationship, when told us were pissing our sides with laughter."

ooooooo that's a definite passion killer. Hope she had a net handy to scoop out the floaters

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol,im a big kid still and cannot help but laugh at anything fart related.

Was infact in the bank today and noticed someone must have let one rip,carried on as you do and tried not to breath/laugh at the same time.

Was nearly at the door for a nice breath of fresh air so i said to my 9 year old.....phewww someone stinks,to which he replied looking and shouting out loud,its that old lady she stinks like egg.

Laughing out loud i dare not look back.

If that was my kid they would've got a slap for being so damn rude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how bad on the cringe scale ? Were all dying to know

Well it involved me (L), my naked downstairs area and a kindly old lady's face

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By *leurCouple
over a year ago

West Hull

Mike Harding used to do an hilarious sketch about the Royal Aide whose job it was to "own up" if ever the Queen farted.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lol,im a big kid still and cannot help but laugh at anything fart related.

Was infact in the bank today and noticed someone must have let one rip,carried on as you do and tried not to breath/laugh at the same time.

Was nearly at the door for a nice breath of fresh air so i said to my 9 year old.....phewww someone stinks,to which he replied looking and shouting out loud,its that old lady she stinks like egg.

Laughing out loud i dare not look back.

If that was my kid they would've got a slap for being so damn rude "

Bit harsh!!!! Let's keep it nice please.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"how bad on the cringe scale ? Were all dying to know

Well it involved me (L), my naked downstairs area and a kindly old lady's face

Oooo you didn't did you????

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"I think the funniest ones are when you're in a shop and let a silent but deadly one go, casually walk a few yards and then see the people's faces as they're trying to work out where it's come from!!! Lol

Of course I've neeeeever done that

It's best if you do it while waiting in the queue. Then look around at the other people in the queue as if you are annoyed and trying to work out who done it.

Of course I have never don that either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad you enjoyed my post. Now seeing as your an anal loving, sexy fart appreciating chick I demand marriage. My ideal woman.

Please PM me to discuss dates and venues

Hahaha ah but would I have to stay away from and spicey food before hand???? Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Glad you enjoyed my post. Now seeing as your an anal loving, sexy fart appreciating chick I demand marriage. My ideal woman.

Please PM me to discuss dates and venues

Hahaha ah but would I have to stay away from and spicey food before hand???? Lol

Pm and I'll tell you lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how bad on the cringe scale ? Were all dying to know

Well it involved me (L), my naked downstairs area and a kindly old lady's face

Oooo you didn't did you????"

Might as well say it now! I'd just had the offspring and had been given a spinal block so couldn't get up. A really old midwife came to give me a sponge bath and was cleaning my area when I let one absolutely rip, right into her face, I couldn't feel it to hold it in! As me and S were both shattered we started really crying with laughter, which made the poor woman annoyed which made us laugh more. She finished up and spent the rest of the day ignoring me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

farted in a lift...

It was wrong on so many levels.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to work in the library service and the first ever library I worked in was based in an area full of rich retirees.

Well... it was a particularly quiet day - in a library you say? lol - and I was standing at the counter dealing with book orders and my boss was the other side of the room stacking shelves and I looked over at the Large Print section to see a little old lady browsing when suddenly she let out a really loud trump, as my mum would say.

i was in shock.. she didn't move an inch, just carried on browsing. I looked at my boss and he was in stitches. I had to stifle my giggles as it was only the three of us in the main room.

But i still wonder to this day that maybe she was deaf and didn't hear it, but surely she'd have felt it? lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I used to work in the library service and the first ever library I worked in was based in an area full of rich retirees.

i was in shock.. she didn't move an inch, just carried on browsing. I looked at my boss and he was in stitches. I had to stifle my giggles as it was only the three of us in the main room.

But i still wonder to this day that maybe she was deaf and didn't hear it, but surely she'd have felt it? lol"

Ahhhhh libraries and farts. The perfect storm lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband still thinks its funny to fart in bed and then pin me down under the duvet so I'm forced to inhale it

Needless to say whilst he finds it funny he has bruises to show just how 'hilarious' I find it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My husband still thinks its funny to fart in bed and then pin me down under the duvet so I'm forced to inhale it

Needless to say whilst he finds it funny he has bruises to show just how 'hilarious' I find it

Haha my dad told me the when he met my mum and they were 'courting' lol he would fart in bed then spit in the air so my mum would duck under the cover!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a
"

Ahhhhh libraries and farts. The perfect storm lol."

The Wind in the Willows?

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By *hite SnakeMan
over a year ago

leeds

Haha my dad told me the when he met my mum and they were 'courting' lol he would fart in bed then spit in the air so my mum would duck under the cover!!!!"

Ah spit and duck not played that in years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sat in a meeting with some very senior company execs someone in my quarter of the board room table left out a series of what could be described as short high pitched toots (the type that happen when your trying to drop a quiet one) during a presentation by an American exec. Only the quarter of the desk could hear it and everyone struggled not to laugh, no one could make eye contact. I found out who it was eventually and they were feeling a little under the weather and thought they could slip one out silently, but when they started and it made a noise and they couldn't stop they had to let out short bursts whenever someone spoke

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By *ussypussWoman
over a year ago

South Birmingham waiting for the bf to come back after crimbo

Sitting reading this thread and my son walked in (at least he didn't check to see which website I was logged into .. lol)

He's been sitting reading and killing himself laughing ... why is it that when most of us have a really good giggle we feel as though we're going to pee ourselves but when teenage boys are falling about laughing they let the farts fly???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i was crying with laughter reading this!" LMAO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rember sitting a science exam in school, sat on a plastic stool. I sneezed and managed to slip a fart out at the same time. Only the dude sat next to me managed to hear it and we both ended up in fits of laughter

Needless to say we were both removed from the examination room...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sat in a meeting with some very senior company execs someone in my quarter of the board room table left out a series of what could be described as short high pitched toots (the type that happen when your trying to drop a quiet one) during a presentation by an American exec. Only the quarter of the desk could hear it and everyone struggled not to laugh, no one could make eye contact. I found out who it was eventually and they were feeling a little under the weather and thought they could slip one out silently, but when they started and it made a noise and they couldn't stop they had to let out short bursts whenever someone spoke"

Ahhh the confined room fart scenario. Equally hilarious and painful at the same time. You can't laugh but can't stop yourself. Remain professional at all times. I'm a grown up. Farts aren't funny any more. And just as you regain composure you catch someones eye and off you go again lol. Brilliant.

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By *ickiemintMan
over a year ago

Somewhere NW London

"Oh that made me chuckle.... Thanks for that

Rich

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My husband still thinks its funny to fart in bed and then pin me down under the duvet so I'm forced to inhale it

Needless to say whilst he finds it funny he has bruises to show just how 'hilarious' I find it

Haha my dad told me the when he met my mum and they were 'courting' lol he would fart in bed then spit in the air so my mum would duck under the cover!!!!"

ohh classy

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

My dearly departed dad used to let rip with some real stinkers when we were kids. He'd just say 'breath in deep girls - it'll use the smell up quicker' Gross!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"farted in a lift...

It was wrong on so many levels."

Did you get off on the next floor?

Lamp!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

on a nightshift on a ward, I hid behind a wall waiting on my pal coming around from checks..jumped out on him and he let out a fart...still giggles me to this day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"on a nightshift on a ward, I hid behind a wall waiting on my pal coming around from checks..jumped out on him and he let out a fart...still giggles me to this day"

Funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"farted in a lift...

It was wrong on so many levels.

Did you get off on the next floor?

Lamp!

# pmsl bloody predictive text!

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