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It’s the little things

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)

Sometimes it’s the small things in life that catch you off guard and can trigger you, a smell, a song, hearing a person’s name in a certain context…

What can/does trigger you and how do you deal with it, manage it and move past it?

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By *eroLondonMan
35 weeks ago

Mayfair

It's usually a poignant photograph of someone (or a momento), a close friend or family. I wouldn't say it triggers anything to some great magnitude, but it reawakens a memory — usually a sad one, but sad enough to start a mild form of miniature momentary melancholia. Did I say "melancholia"? Okay, it's triggers something of great magnitude. I'm not very good at dealing with it. I let it fester until something distracts me and now I'm doing something else like washing my son's PE kit and loading the dishwasher... everyday stuff.

How do I move past it? I don't. If it's related to the above then I want to forget those sad and poignant memories and retain the spectre of that trigger.

This is making no sense at all. Sorry, Tea.

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By (user no longer on site)
35 weeks ago

A certain aftershave always reminds me of him...I hate that.

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By *eroLondonMan
35 weeks ago

Mayfair

I meant to say: "...I •don't• want to forget those sad and poignant memories... ..."

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By *lynJMan
35 weeks ago

Morden

Something we enjoyed doing together - or planned to do.

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By *ivemealadybonerWoman
35 weeks ago

somewhere

For me at the moment, hearing my ex fuck buddies name (which I won't say here) just triggers me and I wouldn't mind but it's a really common name lol x

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
35 weeks ago

The Continental

One song in particular sends me spiralling into a massive depressive funk, that can take days to get out of sometimes. I try to avoid hearing it at all costs but sometimes it’s played in public and I can’t.

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By *rHotNottsMan
35 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Smells. There’s a certain plant immediately transports me back nearly 30yrs to Australia & white musk on woman, it’s 1987 again

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
35 weeks ago

little house on the praire

A thread on here a week or so ago brought back lovely memories tinged with a sadness. It was lovely to remember

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By *ot to giggleWoman
35 weeks ago

Coventry

Sometimes something on the news hits a trigger which is bonkers, sounds of certain things, ... i done enough processing.. try move away from it

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
35 weeks ago

your head

There's a few things depending who it's related too. Songs/sayings/smells that remind me of lost loved ones, I tend to just take a min and let myself be with my feelings and then carry on. If I have the time, I'll let myself cry if I need to. As hard as it is to miss someone, I don't want to stop those feelings because it does make me just stop and think for a second and I try to then bring the happy memories of that person forward as well so it's not always a sad moment, sad that they are gone but keeping the memory alive.

There is a particular smell and action that could trigger a very different memory and I avoid it all costs. If it happens, I walk away and just give myself the time to compose myself. Ideally stop the panic attack before it happens.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
35 weeks ago

Wherever

Smells, and songs for me.

How I move past? I don’t, I let the whatever feeling they trigger pass through me.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
35 weeks ago

Wirral

The weirdest things can set me off when it comes to lost loved ones.

My dad died in November 2014. He used to love giant Toblerone but he always knew when there were offers on and if you bought him one at full price he would tear an absolute strip off you.

In the run-up to christmas that year Tesco had them on offer for £3.50. I went to pick one up, remembered my dad had no need of it any more and burst into very noisy ugly sobs as I put it back.

Then I realised I was in the direct line of sight of the security guard, who could clearly see me, a very hefty bird, sobbing as I put a giant Toblerone back on the shelf, looking like the least willing slimming world attendee ever, which made me start hysterically laughing while I was sobbing.

I like to think my dad would've got a kick out of the ridiculousness of that story.

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By *ea monkey OP   Man
35 weeks ago

Manchester (he/him)


"The weirdest things can set me off when it comes to lost loved ones.

My dad died in November 2014. He used to love giant Toblerone but he always knew when there were offers on and if you bought him one at full price he would tear an absolute strip off you.

In the run-up to christmas that year Tesco had them on offer for £3.50. I went to pick one up, remembered my dad had no need of it any more and burst into very noisy ugly sobs as I put it back.

Then I realised I was in the direct line of sight of the security guard, who could clearly see me, a very hefty bird, sobbing as I put a giant Toblerone back on the shelf, looking like the least willing slimming world attendee ever, which made me start hysterically laughing while I was sobbing.

I like to think my dad would've got a kick out of the ridiculousness of that story."

That story is so heartbreaking

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By *omRPMan
35 weeks ago

North Curry

A scent, 1980s Old Spice aftershave is the trigger.

I cope be grounding myself. If I can, I get out into a green space and focus on the feel of the fresh air on my face.

If I can’t I refocus myself by looking for 5 objects I can clearly see, 4 things I can hear, 3 things I can touch or feel, 2 things I can smell in the air and one thing I know is real. By the time I’ve worked through that I find it focused and can move on.

It helps with autistic overload too.

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By *assy69Man
35 weeks ago

West Sussex and Wales


"Sometimes it’s the small things in life that catch you off guard and can trigger you, a smell, a song, hearing a person’s name in a certain context…

What can/does trigger you and how do you deal with it, manage it and move past it?

"

This year, it is walking through the woods. It was always my “safe place” growing up. A walk in the woods a couple of months ago brought it back all of the memory of the comfort I found embracing the smells and sounds of the seasons as they changed. I shall be owning it, and my wellness too I hope, my tarp shelter is dusted down and my EDC bag is packed and ready to go. Aim to be heading out onto the downs in the next couple of weeks for a bit of peace, quiet and adventure

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