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"I think everyone is still in bed...." I told you we have to revise our opening hours. | |||
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"And bottoms up of course to anyone who is still enjoying a littke tipple "This is beginning to start looking like a beer garden type of day, but definitely not at 8:30 in the morning. Coffee and a small English breakfast to get me started. Sausage beans, eggs on toast. And a super sexy girl to sit on my lap | |||
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"Morning! How are you both?, I'd love a coffee and bacon sarnie thanks! " Good morning, she's got me in the kitchen again. Crispy bacon. White or brown. Any relish? | |||
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"And bottoms up of course to anyone who is still enjoying a littke tipple
This is beginning to start looking like a beer garden type of day, but definitely not at 8:30 in the morning.
Coffee and a small English breakfast to get me started.
Sausage beans, eggs on toast.
And a super sexy girl to sit on my lap"I was just tellinh her we might have to offer inducements. See what we can do woody.  | |||
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"Can I just have a latte please "Of course, any choc on top? | |||
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"Morning! How are you both?, I'd love a coffee and bacon sarnie thanks! Good morning, she's got me in the kitchen again. Crispy bacon. White or brown. Any relish?" White thank you, no relish thanks,this is my kind of cafe  | |||
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"I'm starving. Can I have sausages, tomatoes, egg, mushrooms, hash browns, fried bread, toast, a very strong coffee and an energy drink please and thankyou. " Sure and will throw in some extra hash browns and the double yolk eggs for you. Enjoy. | |||
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"Morning! How are you both?, I'd love a coffee and bacon sarnie thanks! Good morning, she's got me in the kitchen again. Crispy bacon. White or brown. Any relish? White thank you, no relish thanks,this is my kind of cafe "We aim to offer utmost pleasure to all our customers. Enjoy. | |||
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"coffee and full english please "Coming up for you. Hope front service is lookinh after you for now. It won't be long  | |||
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"Fry up yes please "Coming up. We have a soecial ginger latte o the house too if you desire. | |||
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"Eggy bread and some cranberry juice would be a dream right now." We like to make dreams happen at this cafe. If we can't offer everything ourselves, we work in partneship to accomodate all your desires. Eggy bread and homemade cranberry juice on the way to you shortly. | |||
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And a squeeze of each of your bottoms to go | |||
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"coffee and full english please
Coming up for you. Hope front service is lookinh after you for now. It won't be long "I'm just polishing the cutlery. I'm whizzing along with the orders. | |||
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"Oh perfect Crispy bacon bap with a splash of HP and a good strong Yorkshire tea please
And a squeeze of each of your bottoms to go "Food Sauce & Bottoms All ready for you | |||
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"Oh perfect Crispy bacon bap with a splash of HP and a good strong Yorkshire tea please
And a squeeze of each of your bottoms to go "Feel free about the squeeze. One or more squeezes on the house. The rest, there is a charge of course as that energy bill will not pay itself. Best yorkshire tea and the loveliest bap on the way for you. | |||
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" Food Sauce & Bottoms All ready for you "
Thanks, what a start to the day
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"Oh perfect Crispy bacon bap with a splash of HP and a good strong Yorkshire tea please
And a squeeze of each of your bottoms to go
Feel free about the squeeze. One or more squeezes on the house. The rest, there is a charge of course as that energy bill will not pay itself. Best yorkshire tea and the loveliest bap on the way for you. "How many squeezes will a fiver get me?  | |||
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"coffee and full english please
Coming up for you. Hope front service is lookinh after you for now. It won't be long
I'm just polishing the cutlery. I'm whizzing along with the orders. "Just adjust the scarf a little if we need to buy a bit of time. I am rushed off my feet in here . And lots wanting a little squeeze too. | |||
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"Oh perfect Crispy bacon bap with a splash of HP and a good strong Yorkshire tea please
And a squeeze of each of your bottoms to go
Feel free about the squeeze. One or more squeezes on the house. The rest, there is a charge of course as that energy bill will not pay itself. Best yorkshire tea and the loveliest bap on the way for you.
How many squeezes will a fiver get me? "Depends on whose bottom it is. | |||
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"Oh perfect Crispy bacon bap with a splash of HP and a good strong Yorkshire tea please
And a squeeze of each of your bottoms to go
Feel free about the squeeze. One or more squeezes on the house. The rest, there is a charge of course as that energy bill will not pay itself. Best yorkshire tea and the loveliest bap on the way for you.
How many squeezes will a fiver get me? "No all the squeezes are free. You just pay for food and drink. | |||
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"Eggy bread and some cranberry juice would be a dream right now." Do you want sauce with that PTTF ? I have ketchup on eggy bread. | |||
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"Ok spinster, cleared all the orders. Made you a little drink, just as you like it. Enjoy before the next lot come in. Someone pinched rather than just squeeze. I hope is not going to bruise "This isn't the time to comment on the robustness of your bottom is it MB?  | |||
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"Ok spinster, cleared all the orders. Made you a little drink, just as you like it. Enjoy before the next lot come in. Someone pinched rather than just squeeze. I hope is not going to bruise
This isn't the time to comment on the robustness of your bottom is it MB?
"No, not in front of customers. Anyway, there was nobody in though I can see some on the way now. | |||
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"I'd get some hollandaise on the go MB. Today's got Eggs Bene written all over it. " Yes that's true. I might russle up one of my special frittatas too, always going down well. | |||
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"Good morning OP¹ and OP². Make mine a batch of freshly baked croissants, piping hot Cafetière (always piping hot) made with artisan ground coffee (naturally) and fresh raspberries drizzled with premium grade maple syrup. Thank you. Send the same over to the Prêy, please." No problem sir. All freshly made and of high quality ingredients. We can add a little sprinkling of cinnamon too on your maple syrup if to your liking. | |||
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"Good morning OP¹ and OP². Make mine a batch of freshly baked croissants, piping hot Cafetière (always piping hot) made with artisan ground coffee (naturally) and fresh raspberries drizzled with premium grade maple syrup. Thank you. Send the same over to the Prêy, please." My pleasure my Dear Nerò. And for yourself or are you dining with PTTF ? | |||
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"Have you got any breakfast challenges? I’m feeling more than a little peckish.
"Will do you the all yoi can eat one and a big slice of my frittata. Coffee and buns on the side. | |||
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"Have you got any breakfast challenges? I’m feeling more than a little peckish.
Will do you the all yoi can eat one and a big slice of my frittata. Coffee and buns on the side. "Oooft! Yes please. | |||
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"Have you got any breakfast challenges? I’m feeling more than a little peckish.
Will do you the all yoi can eat one and a big slice of my frittata. Coffee and buns on the side.
Oooft! Yes please. "Just pop in the kitchen see what we have and what you like. | |||
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"Not had a Bloody Mary in a while and with my golf being cancelled I may as well start the day slowly " Oh why not and we add a little extra kick on ours for your morning delight | |||
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"Oooh can I have a full English and coffee please x" One of our favourite customers, full english and our specialty coffee coming up. Free refills of course. | |||
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"Oooh can I have a full English and coffee please x One of our favourite customers, full english and our specialty coffee coming up. Free refills of course. "Sauce with your fry up ? | |||
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"Oooh can I have a full English and coffee please x One of our favourite customers, full english and our specialty coffee coming up. Free refills of course.
Sauce with your fry up ? "Tomato please x | |||
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"Absolutely ravenous this morning. Really want avo and bacon on sourdough and a mocha.gonna have to get my ass in gear and go get. " Don't you worry, just hot delivery of the perfect avos. Ous sourdough all homemade and pur mocha is the talk of the town | |||
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"Oooh can I have a full English and coffee please x One of our favourite customers, full english and our specialty coffee coming up. Free refills of course. "Thank you kind sir! Oooh coffee! | |||
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"Absolutely ravenous this morning. Really want avo and bacon on sourdough and a mocha.gonna have to get my ass in gear and go get. Don't you worry, just hot delivery of the perfect avos. Ous sourdough all homemade and pur mocha is the talk of the town " Actually salivating a little | |||
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"Oooh can I have a full English and coffee please x One of our favourite customers, full english and our specialty coffee coming up. Free refills of course.
Thank you kind sir! Oooh coffee!"Help yourself to a bun too. | |||
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"Not had a Bloody Mary in a while and with my golf being cancelled I may as well start the day slowly Oh why not and we add a little extra kick on ours for your morning delight " Extra morning kick does sound delightful and will be enjoyed | |||
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"Absolutely ravenous this morning. Really want avo and bacon on sourdough and a mocha.gonna have to get my ass in gear and go get. Don't you worry, just hot delivery of the perfect avos. Ous sourdough all homemade and pur mocha is the talk of the town Actually salivating a little " We see it a lot. Lots of customers licking their lips often. | |||
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"Not had a Bloody Mary in a while and with my golf being cancelled I may as well start the day slowly Oh why not and we add a little extra kick on ours for your morning delight Extra morning kick does sound delightful and will be enjoyed " Nothing is too much at this establishment. Your pleasure is our aim | |||
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"Any chance of a Bacon and Halloumi roll and a coffe epretty please "Of course. Would you like any sauce and whathow do you roll, I mean what is your roll of choice | |||
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"Oooh a crispy bacon butty and a coffee would go down a treat -tvm "Coming up, we usually go for very crispy here. Any relish? | |||
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"Absolutely ravenous this morning. Really want avo and bacon on sourdough and a mocha.gonna have to get my ass in gear and go get. Don't you worry, just hot delivery of the perfect avos. Ous sourdough all homemade and pur mocha is the talk of the town Actually salivating a little We see it a lot. Lots of customers licking their lips often. "Its when they lick each others lips ....  | |||
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"Absolutely ravenous this morning. Really want avo and bacon on sourdough and a mocha.gonna have to get my ass in gear and go get. Don't you worry, just hot delivery of the perfect avos. Ous sourdough all homemade and pur mocha is the talk of the town Actually salivating a little We see it a lot. Lots of customers licking their lips often.
Its when they lick each others lips ....
"What sort of cafe is this 
....I think I might stay for breakfast, brunch and lunch Haha | |||
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"Oooh a crispy bacon butty and a coffee would go down a treat -tvm
Coming up, we usually go for very crispy here. Any relish? "Special sauce | |||
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"Absolutely ravenous this morning. Really want avo and bacon on sourdough and a mocha.gonna have to get my ass in gear and go get. Don't you worry, just hot delivery of the perfect avos. Ous sourdough all homemade and pur mocha is the talk of the town Actually salivating a little We see it a lot. Lots of customers licking their lips often.
Its when they lick each others lips ....
What sort of cafe is this
....I think I might stay for breakfast, brunch and lunch Haha"You are welcome, take your time. Make it your regular, you get stamps and little extra treats | |||
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"Oooh a crispy bacon butty and a coffee would go down a treat -tvm
Coming up, we usually go for very crispy here. Any relish?
Special sauce "Leave it with me | |||
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"Oooh a crispy bacon butty and a coffee would go down a treat -tvm
Coming up, we usually go for very crispy here. Any relish?
Special sauce "I can’t ask for Daddy’s Sauce and keep a straight face. So I ask for HP. | |||
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"Absolutely ravenous this morning. Really want avo and bacon on sourdough and a mocha.gonna have to get my ass in gear and go get. Don't you worry, just hot delivery of the perfect avos. Ous sourdough all homemade and pur mocha is the talk of the town Actually salivating a little We see it a lot. Lots of customers licking their lips often.
Its when they lick each others lips ....
What sort of cafe is this
....I think I might stay for breakfast, brunch and lunch Haha
You are welcome, take your time. Make it your regular, you get stamps and little extra treats "Extra treats ? | |||
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"Absolutely ravenous this morning. Really want avo and bacon on sourdough and a mocha.gonna have to get my ass in gear and go get. Don't you worry, just hot delivery of the perfect avos. Ous sourdough all homemade and pur mocha is the talk of the town Actually salivating a little We see it a lot. Lots of customers licking their lips often.
Its when they lick each others lips ....
What sort of cafe is this
....I think I might stay for breakfast, brunch and lunch Haha
You are welcome, take your time. Make it your regular, you get stamps and little extra treats
Extra treats ? "Just for the regulars | |||
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"Absolutely ravenous this morning. Really want avo and bacon on sourdough and a mocha.gonna have to get my ass in gear and go get. Don't you worry, just hot delivery of the perfect avos. Ous sourdough all homemade and pur mocha is the talk of the town Actually salivating a little We see it a lot. Lots of customers licking their lips often.
Its when they lick each others lips ....
What sort of cafe is this
....I think I might stay for breakfast, brunch and lunch Haha
You are welcome, take your time. Make it your regular, you get stamps and little extra treats
Extra treats ?
Just for the regulars "Ahh come on Mr Bottom - i think the staff should be allowed extra treats to | |||
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"Good Morning Friends, My culinary genius friend Mobile Bottom and I, are generously opening our kitchen with a suitably flamboyant flourish. Who would like a fry up? A fancy coffee? A glass of isotonic drink and some painkillers for those of you who were drinking in the sunshine yesterday? Everyone is Welcome, Let the orders roll in. "Nothing to elaborate but I’d quite like a cup of tea brought to me please Lady Kate, really fed up of getting out of bed and going down to the kitchen x | |||
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"Absolutely ravenous this morning. Really want avo and bacon on sourdough and a mocha.gonna have to get my ass in gear and go get. Don't you worry, just hot delivery of the perfect avos. Ous sourdough all homemade and pur mocha is the talk of the town Actually salivating a little We see it a lot. Lots of customers licking their lips often.
Its when they lick each others lips ....
What sort of cafe is this
....I think I might stay for breakfast, brunch and lunch Haha
You are welcome, take your time. Make it your regular, you get stamps and little extra treats
Extra treats ?
Just for the regulars
Ahh come on Mr Bottom - i think the staff should be allowed extra treats to "Tell me about it. All treated equally at this diverse and inclusive cafe. We built our name on it | |||
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"Absolutely ravenous this morning. Really want avo and bacon on sourdough and a mocha.gonna have to get my ass in gear and go get. Don't you worry, just hot delivery of the perfect avos. Ous sourdough all homemade and pur mocha is the talk of the town Actually salivating a little We see it a lot. Lots of customers licking their lips often.
Its when they lick each others lips ....
What sort of cafe is this
....I think I might stay for breakfast, brunch and lunch Haha
You are welcome, take your time. Make it your regular, you get stamps and little extra treats
Extra treats ? "Mr Bottom, I'd like to nominate Kate as Employee of the Day - does that mean she gets an extra treat
In fact you both deserve one for fantastic service | |||
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"Cake! Is there any cake?, "Always, cake, desserts, buns. We've got it all my lovy. What would you like? | |||
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"Good Morning Friends, My culinary genius friend Mobile Bottom and I, are generously opening our kitchen with a suitably flamboyant flourish. Who would like a fry up? A fancy coffee? A glass of isotonic drink and some painkillers for those of you who were drinking in the sunshine yesterday? Everyone is Welcome, Let the orders roll in. "Isotonic drink and painkillers please … tequila is the devils work | |||
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"I've already eaten but... I could manage a nice hot coffee and a croissant filled pistachio cream Thanks guys "A man of good taste. Love pistachio mysrlf and always available. Coming up for you. | |||
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"Cake! Is there any cake?, "They dont start serving cake until 10.30 Miss Minxy you little devil Anyone would think this is a bank holiday  | |||
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"Cake! Is there any cake?,
Always, cake, desserts, buns. We've got it all my lovy. What would you like? "Oh mb the naughtiest! | |||
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"Absolutely ravenous this morning. Really want avo and bacon on sourdough and a mocha.gonna have to get my ass in gear and go get. Don't you worry, just hot delivery of the perfect avos. Ous sourdough all homemade and pur mocha is the talk of the town Actually salivating a little We see it a lot. Lots of customers licking their lips often.
Its when they lick each others lips ....
What sort of cafe is this
....I think I might stay for breakfast, brunch and lunch Haha
You are welcome, take your time. Make it your regular, you get stamps and little extra treats
Extra treats ?
Mr Bottom, I'd like to nominate Kate as Employee of the Day - does that mean she gets an extra treat
In fact you both deserve one for fantastic service"Very kind if you. Kate will be over the moon with that | |||
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"Cake! Is there any cake?,
They dont start serving cake until 10.30 Miss Minxy you little devil
Anyone would think this is a bank holiday "Oh bugga, I’m always so eager! | |||
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"Good Morning Friends, My culinary genius friend Mobile Bottom and I, are generously opening our kitchen with a suitably flamboyant flourish. Who would like a fry up? A fancy coffee? A glass of isotonic drink and some painkillers for those of you who were drinking in the sunshine yesterday? Everyone is Welcome, Let the orders roll in.
Isotonic drink and painkillers please … tequila is the devils work "Oh sweetheart. Coming right up. You maybe need a shower and a massage too? I'll rustle up a staff member for you. Or offer up myself? | |||
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"Cake! Is there any cake?,
They dont start serving cake until 10.30 Miss Minxy you little devil
Anyone would think this is a bank holiday
Oh bugga, I’m always so eager! "Nothing wrong with an eager bugger. | |||
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"Cake! Is there any cake?,
They dont start serving cake until 10.30 Miss Minxy you little devil
Anyone would think this is a bank holiday
Oh bugga, I’m always so eager!
Nothing wrong with an eager bugger.
" | |||
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"Cake! Is there any cake?,
Always, cake, desserts, buns. We've got it all my lovy. What would you like?
Oh mb the naughtiest! "It's a lovely day so you could go with either pur delicious pavlova with all kind if exotic fruit and lashes of silky cream or pur homemade chocolate, velvetty, smooth and 70% cocoa amazing chocolate cake with extra chocolate chips on top. x | |||
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"Cake! Is there any cake?,
Always, cake, desserts, buns. We've got it all my lovy. What would you like?
Oh mb the naughtiest!
It's a lovely day so you could go with either pur delicious pavlova with all kind if exotic fruit and lashes of silky cream or pur homemade chocolate, velvetty, smooth and 70% cocoa amazing chocolate cake with extra chocolate chips on top. x"Swoon! As I need to watch my figure, I’ll have the delicious pavlova and chocolate to go | |||
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"Cake! Is there any cake?,
Always, cake, desserts, buns. We've got it all my lovy. What would you like?
Oh mb the naughtiest!
It's a lovely day so you could go with either pur delicious pavlova with all kind if exotic fruit and lashes of silky cream or pur homemade chocolate, velvetty, smooth and 70% cocoa amazing chocolate cake with extra chocolate chips on top. x"Or do what I do and have both. | |||
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"Fry up and a brew sounds amazing right now sinister thank you "Perfect choice. Tea or coffee ? Sauce ? | |||
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"Coffee please and red sauce, you are so catering for us all this morning thank you my lovely xxx" Mobile Bottom is doing the hard work in the kitchen. I'm just whirling around flirting with the diners. | |||
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"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x" I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away. | |||
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"Coffee please and red sauce, you are so catering for us all this morning thank you my lovely xxx Mobile Bottom is doing the hard work in the kitchen. I'm just whirling around flirting with the diners. "Thank you my lovely. We are a good team | |||
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"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away. "Do I need to take my break now? | |||
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"Bacon butty and blowjob. The only way to wake up" Could yoi be a little more specific please | |||
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"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Do I need to take my break now? "Dont worry I'll put the closed sign on the door Staff Training - Back in 5/An Hour/Tomorrow *delete as appropriate | |||
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"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away. "Where’s that menu?’n  | |||
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"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Do I need to take my break now?
Dont worry
I'll put the closed sign on the door
Staff Training - Back in 5/An Hour/Tomorrow
*delete as appropriate "It's always a quickie on here. Too many customers and kitchen orders all day long | |||
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"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n "Specials Board. | |||
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"Coffee please and red sauce, you are so catering for us all this morning thank you my lovely xxx Mobile Bottom is doing the hard work in the kitchen. I'm just whirling around flirting with the diners.
Thank you my lovely. We are a good team " | |||
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"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board. "Is this part of the extra treats for regulars | |||
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"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board. "How did I miss that! | |||
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(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board.
Is this part of the extra treats for regulars "Yep. | |||
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| Reply privately |
"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board.
How did I miss that! "You were too busy bringing me some of that cake you got earlier | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board.
How did I miss that! "I was probably standing in front of it (face-palm) | |||
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"Good Morning all No food for me bad week last week So just a coffee please "No such thing has bad food. Have a little, light nibble with us. You can't function on an empty tank. | |||
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"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board.
How did I miss that!
You were too busy bringing me some of that cake you got earlier "Haha who shares cake! Lol | |||
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"Good Morning all No food for me bad week last week So just a coffee please
No such thing has bad food.
Have a little, light nibble with us.
You can't function on an empty tank. "True have not had any food for four days plenty of fluid’s water etc | |||
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| Reply privately |
"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board.
Is this part of the extra treats for regulars
Yep. "Mr Mobilebottom I would like to report that one of your staff members is flirting with me! ..........and I love it Back in 10 ...off to do a 5* review on tripadvisor | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board.
Is this part of the extra treats for regulars
Yep. "Kate is in charge of the specials board. Works hard to make sure there is something on for everyone. | |||
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| Reply privately |
"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board.
How did I miss that!
You were too busy bringing me some of that cake you got earlier
Haha who shares cake! Lol "You've changed
Haha | |||
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| Reply privately |
"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board.
Is this part of the extra treats for regulars
Yep.
Mr Mobilebottom
I would like to report that one of your staff members is flirting with me! ..........and I love it
Back in 10 ...off to do a 5* review on tripadvisor "Oh,thank you. All good traning and customer service qualificatons. Our reviews are all 5*. Thanking you for yours. | |||
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(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Good Morning all No food for me bad week last week So just a coffee please
No such thing has bad food.
Have a little, light nibble with us.
You can't function on an empty tank.
True have not had any food for four days plenty of fluid’s water etc "Oh, doon't you worry. We will look after you and soon have you back on true form. | |||
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"I'd like a sausage sandwich please and a cup of tea "Oh, nice easy peasy customer. Pick yoir relish. Is on the sideboard or ask Kate if unsure. | |||
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| Reply privately |
"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board.
How did I miss that!
You were too busy bringing me some of that cake you got earlier
Haha who shares cake! Lol
You've changed
Haha" | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board.
Is this part of the extra treats for regulars
Yep.
Mr Mobilebottom
I would like to report that one of your staff members is flirting with me! ..........and I love it
Back in 10 ...off to do a 5* review on tripadvisor "Staff? We're part owners!! You're a brave soul to suggest I take orders (even in a cafè). | |||
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"I'd like a sausage sandwich please and a cup of tea
Oh, nice easy peasy customer. Pick yoir relish. Is on the sideboard or ask Kate if unsure. "I relish a challenge | |||
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| Reply privately |
"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board.
Is this part of the extra treats for regulars
Yep.
Mr Mobilebottom
I would like to report that one of your staff members is flirting with me! ..........and I love it
Back in 10 ...off to do a 5* review on tripadvisor
Staff?
We're part owners!!
You're a brave soul to suggest I take orders (even in a cafè). "You tell them partner | |||
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"I'd like a sausage sandwich please and a cup of tea "A sausage surprise and a brew, certainly. | |||
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(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board.
Is this part of the extra treats for regulars
Yep.
Mr Mobilebottom
I would like to report that one of your staff members is flirting with me! ..........and I love it
Back in 10 ...off to do a 5* review on tripadvisor
Staff?
We're part owners!!
You're a brave soul to suggest I take orders (even in a cafè). "I'm sorry How about you take a seat for 30 and I will help out and bring you brunch now | |||
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"Hello, I’d like to place an order for lunch time please. 1 x sausage in a large bap 1 x can of Irn-Bru Ta muchly "Is it delivery, collect or sit in? | |||
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"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Where’s that menu?’n
Specials Board.
Is this part of the extra treats for regulars
Yep.
Mr Mobilebottom
I would like to report that one of your staff members is flirting with me! ..........and I love it
Back in 10 ...off to do a 5* review on tripadvisor
Staff?
We're part owners!!
You're a brave soul to suggest I take orders (even in a cafè).
I'm sorry
How about you take a seat for 30 and I will help out and bring you brunch now "I've always liked you. | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
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"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away. "Definitely the 3rd option please. Who needs bacon rolls or sticky buns anyway | |||
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"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Definitely the 3rd option please. Who needs bacon rolls or sticky buns anyway "They're for afters.
Or half time. | |||
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"A pot of English breakfast tea, a lightly toasted English muffin, butter and a small pot of strawberry jam, please." Hello Davina. Coming up and our strauberry jam is legendary. Packed with lots of goodness and real fruit. Enjoy | |||
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"A pot of English breakfast tea, a lightly toasted English muffin, butter and a small pot of strawberry jam, please. Hello Davina. Coming up and our strauberry jam is legendary. Packed with lots of goodness and real fruit. Enjoy" Do we get to know who you're planning on Muffin, Davina ? | |||
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| Reply privately |
"Based on the replies in the last hour you must be running short of stock, so we'll just have 2 coffees please x I'll send MB to the cash & carry if we need more provisions. Have whatever you'd like with the coffees. Bacon roll? Sticky bun? Quick 3some? Ahem, sorry, got carried away.
Definitely the 3rd option please. Who needs bacon rolls or sticky buns anyway
They're for afters.
Or half time. "The sticky buns may be during | |||
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"A pot of English breakfast tea, a lightly toasted English muffin, butter and a small pot of strawberry jam, please. Hello Davina. Coming up and our strauberry jam is legendary. Packed with lots of goodness and real fruit. Enjoy" Hello MB. Yay, thank you. | |||
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"A pot of English breakfast tea, a lightly toasted English muffin, butter and a small pot of strawberry jam, please. Hello Davina. Coming up and our strauberry jam is legendary. Packed with lots of goodness and real fruit. Enjoy Do we get to know who you're planning on Muffin, Davina ? "Now *that* would be telling... but there'll be sweet stuff all *over* my face | |||
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"Good morning darling OP. Please could I have a large latte with an extra shot. Thank you "Kate will do you a lovely one. I will sprinkle a little bit of cocoa on top for that extra je ne sais quoi | |||
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"Good morning darling OP. Please could I have a large latte with an extra shot. Thank you
Kate will do you a lovely one. I will sprinkle a little bit of cocoa on top for that extra je ne sais quoi "Ooh… you’re spoiling me | |||
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"Good morning darling OP. Please could I have a large latte with an extra shot. Thank you
Kate will do you a lovely one. I will sprinkle a little bit of cocoa on top for that extra je ne sais quoi
Ooh… you’re spoiling me "We like to do just that with our favourite people | |||
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"Not had a Bloody Mary in a while and with my golf being cancelled I may as well start the day slowly Oh why not and we add a little extra kick on ours for your morning delight Extra morning kick does sound delightful and will be enjoyed " Thank you that Bloody Mary has perked me right up and I adored the touch with the cocktail umbrella and the extra kick xx | |||
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"Good morning darling OP. Please could I have a large latte with an extra shot. Thank you
Kate will do you a lovely one. I will sprinkle a little bit of cocoa on top for that extra je ne sais quoi
Ooh… you’re spoiling me
We like to do just that with our favourite people "Awwww you made my day darling
Cocktails and great coffee. I feel special | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Good morning darling OP. Please could I have a large latte with an extra shot. Thank you
Kate will do you a lovely one. I will sprinkle a little bit of cocoa on top for that extra je ne sais quoi
Ooh… you’re spoiling me
We like to do just that with our favourite people
Awwww you made my day darling
Cocktails and great coffee. I feel special "Brilliant, at your service anytime. There is little good service out there these days. Good service, excellent ingredients and fabulous time is pur USP. | |||
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"A fry up would be lovely, except I have a busy day today and I usually want to go back to bed after a full fry. Eggs Benedict would work though, if it's not too much trouble." Is not quote Bed and Breakfast but could still take a rest. Egg benedicts coming up with amazing holandaise and a touch of cayenne pepper on top | |||
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| Reply privately |
"Not had a Bloody Mary in a while and with my golf being cancelled I may as well start the day slowly Oh why not and we add a little extra kick on ours for your morning delight Extra morning kick does sound delightful and will be enjoyed Thank you that Bloody Mary has perked me right up and I adored the touch with the cocktail umbrella and the extra kick xx" The kicking is my speciality. | |||
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(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Good morning darling OP. Please could I have a large latte with an extra shot. Thank you
Kate will do you a lovely one. I will sprinkle a little bit of cocoa on top for that extra je ne sais quoi
Ooh… you’re spoiling me
We like to do just that with our favourite people
Awwww you made my day darling
Cocktails and great coffee. I feel special "You deserve to feel cherished.  | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"A pot of English breakfast tea, a lightly toasted English muffin, butter and a small pot of strawberry jam, please. Hello Davina. Coming up and our strauberry jam is legendary. Packed with lots of goodness and real fruit. Enjoy Do we get to know who you're planning on Muffin, Davina ?
Now *that* would be telling... but there'll be sweet stuff all *over* my face "Glazed like a doughnut | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"A pot of English breakfast tea, a lightly toasted English muffin, butter and a small pot of strawberry jam, please. Hello Davina. Coming up and our strauberry jam is legendary. Packed with lots of goodness and real fruit. Enjoy Do we get to know who you're planning on Muffin, Davina ?
Now *that* would be telling... but there'll be sweet stuff all *over* my face
Glazed like a doughnut
"Butter and jam... of course... | |||
(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"Good morning darling OP. Please could I have a large latte with an extra shot. Thank you
Kate will do you a lovely one. I will sprinkle a little bit of cocoa on top for that extra je ne sais quoi
Ooh… you’re spoiling me
We like to do just that with our favourite people
Awwww you made my day darling
Cocktails and great coffee. I feel special
You deserve to feel cherished. "Thank you gorgeous | |||
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"Eggy bread please "Coming up. Eggs laid this morning by our chics. All fresh and free range. | |||
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"Eggy bread please "Sauce FN? A bit of sauce is my speciality. | |||
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"Eggy bread please
Sauce FN?
A bit of sauce is my speciality. " | |||
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"Coffee please. French toast with bacon and maple syrup for mrs and some bagel with salmon " I'll give the chef a poke with something and get your order moving. | |||
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"Coffee please. French toast with bacon and maple syrup for mrs and some bagel with salmon " Would you like our strong blend? Also just salmon or a bit of cream cheese with your bagel? Perhaos some mini sliced cornichons? | |||
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"My bodyweight in pastries and a bucket of flat white, please….. "Coming up younh man. Kate flattens that white like no other. Our selection of pastries can rival the bestvof french patisseries. | |||
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"A fry up would be lovely, except I have a busy day today and I usually want to go back to bed after a full fry. Eggs Benedict would work though, if it's not too much trouble. Is not quote Bed and Breakfast but could still take a rest. Egg benedicts coming up with amazing holandaise and a touch of cayenne pepper on top "Ooh nice touch, thank you kindly good sir. | |||
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"Kate, can you get ready please for the lunch session. It seemscto have sneaked up on us in no time at all today. Lunch special is a hot pulled beef baguette with homemade horseradish if wanted and a side portion of roasties and gravy" I have asked you not to pull your beef in front of the customers. They get overly excited, and you know what happened last time and it plays hell with the dish cloths. | |||
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"Strong coffee. Cream cheese yes please. No cornichons thank you. " We're in a pickle, we've run out of cornichons (boom boom). | |||
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"Strong coffee. Cream cheese yes please. No cornichons thank you. We're in a pickle, we've run out of cornichons (boom boom). " I havr gherkins. Will slice them small. Nobody will know | |||
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"I could smash some shakshouka right now, side order of halloumi and flatbread please" Coming right up, runny eggs? Our flatbread is all homemade too | |||
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"I could smash some shakshouka right now, side order of halloumi and flatbread please" What a top idea. Brew with that M&G ? | |||
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"My bodyweight in pastries and a bucket of flat white, please…..
Coming up younh man. Kate flattens that white like no other. Our selection of pastries can rival the bestvof french patisseries. "Just seen this. I'll flatten you MB, waves croissant in a threatening manner. | |||
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"I could smash some shakshouka right now, side order of halloumi and flatbread please What a top idea. Brew with that M&G ? " You sory that out Kate. I am giving stuff in the kitchen a good clean but still takev any orders if they come in. We have bills to pay | |||
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(closed, thread got too big) | |||
| Reply privately |
"My bodyweight in pastries and a bucket of flat white, please…..
Coming up younh man. Kate flattens that white like no other. Our selection of pastries can rival the bestvof french patisseries.
Just seen this. I'll flatten you MB, waves croissant in a threatening manner. "I have been reading about that stuff on that other BDSM thread. It's not that is it? Does it always invole croisants? | |||
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