FabSwingers.com forum: How far down

By *obilebottom OP Man
38 weeks ago

All over

do you burry your head in the sand sometimes rather than have to deal with certain stuff. I know it is not really the right thing to do but perhaps it helps to not have to deal with everything that life throws at you all at once. How do you manage those sort of things? I know that I do that for certain things, even if is just for a while. A way of coping, if you like. I am ok by the way, just woke up early and easing myself into the day.

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By *ealitybitesMan
38 weeks ago

Belfast

If it's world events I'll bury my head deeper than if it relates directly to me.

At the same time I've suffered a lot of personal loss in the last 18 months with the deaths of 3 close family members and a lifelong friend so as a result I tend to turn a blind eye or bury my head to things that aren't positive.

Also for the same reasons that I'm not meeting on here at the minute,permanent exhaustion and a general malaise, mean I keep my head down and don't get involved in things going on around me.

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By *obilebottom OP Man
38 weeks ago

All over

"If it's world events I'll bury my head deeper than if it relates directly to me.

Also for the same reasons that I'm not meeting on here at the minute,permanent exhaustion and a general malaise, mean I keep my head down and don't get involved in things going on around me. "

I am very sorry for your loss. I can relate to lots of stuff you mentioned and definately the only way to deal with it sometimes is just that. Different people cope in different ways. Whatever works to get through is all good. I like diversification techniques as I call them and little treats that also help too.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

Is is burying one’s head in the sand ..or compartmenting things to deal with them when we have the mental/emotional/other resources? One is letting the thing get worse, the other a sensible coping strategy.

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
38 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

You need a hug n a coffee Op?

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By *esthetic21Man
38 weeks ago

Birmingham/Bristol

About an hour then I deal with it

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Years. Actually years.

In fact, I’m about to start dealing with something I should have done a loooong time ago.

Disclosure. I still have things around from my marriage because I’m stupidly sentimental about stuff like that. But they are heartbreaking reminders that jolt me everytime I see/touch or remember them.

I’m going to box everything up and throw out. I need to delete everything from my phone (photos/messages etc) I’ve turned my head and ignored it for so long it holds me back.

I have to let go. This week is that week.

Anyone want to get d*unk with me one night?

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
38 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

"Years. Actually years.

In fact, I’m about to start dealing with something I should have done a loooong time ago.

I’m going to box everything up and throw out. I need to delete everything from my phone (photos/messages etc) I’ve turned my head and ignored it for so long it holds me back.

I have to let go. This week is that week.

Anyone want to get d*unk with me one night? "

A tough phase. Feel for ya. Be strong.

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By *obilebottom OP Man
38 weeks ago

All over

"Years. Actually years.

In fact, I’m about to start dealing with something I should have done a loooong time ago.

I’m going to box everything up and throw out. I need to delete everything from my phone (photos/messages etc) I’ve turned my head and ignored it for so long it holds me back.

I have to let go. This week is that week.

Anyone want to get d*unk with me one night? "

Sounds like a good plan

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By *obilebottom OP Man
38 weeks ago

All over

"Is is burying one’s head in the sand ..or compartmenting things to deal with them when we have the mental/emotional/other resources? One is letting the thing get worse, the other a sensible coping strategy. "

Sure and more of the latter

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By *obilebottom OP Man
38 weeks ago

All over

"You need a hug n a coffee Op?

Mr "

thank you. We all need that sometime

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

Did I just walk into the shrinks office.

Sit down and air it to the public. No chance.

Sorry to hear about Sand ans burying only one I know is with a big spade on a beach

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

"Years. Actually years.

In fact, I’m about to start dealing with something I should have done a loooong time ago.

I’m going to box everything up and throw out. I need to delete everything from my phone (photos/messages etc) I’ve turned my head and ignored it for so long it holds me back.

I have to let go. This week is that week.

Anyone want to get d*unk with me one night?

Sounds like a good plan

What I would say Mb, or anyone who need to read this. It’s okay to choose not to deal with it for now. Get yourself stronger, mentally or emotionally prepared to take it on.

It can wait until tomorrow.

But it won’t go away in its own, you have to deal with it eventually and then it’s gone away for good.

Just my thoughts on this.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

In the past I've put stuff off for years. These days I have to deal with it straight away, it brings me down too much otherwise.

Apart from the stuff in my head, that crap is staying there until I die.

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By *offiaCoolWoman
38 weeks ago

Kidsgrove

Think happy thoughts Moby, think food

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
38 weeks ago

East Sussex

Yes, I do.

I don't see anything wrong with it. Some things are best kept buried and no good ever comes from bringing them to the surface.

Obviously if something is affecting your day to day life you should find a way of dealing with it if you can but otherwise pour concrete on it and leave it where it is.

A friend and I had a similar conversation the other day. Her sister is urging her to 'deal' with certain issues or it will come back to bite her on the bum. The sister can't grasp that my friends way of dealing with it *is* to bury it.

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By *ell GwynnWoman
38 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

I don't bury anything, my brain doesn't let me. Even if I choose not to actively deal with something immediately, for whatever reason, it's still there in my thoughts.

On the positive side, things don't get ignored and I can do what needs to be done and move on quickly without it snowballing. On the negative side, the issues that I need to take time over, or wait until a more appropriate time to deal with, cause me anxiety and frustration. I'd love to be able to compartmentalise in those instances.

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By *eliWoman
38 weeks ago

I wouldn't say it's burying my head in the sand. It's more... I can't always deal with things as soon as/when I'd like to for a myriad of factors. Other people being a big one.

Sometimes it's far easier to just say fuck it rather than tackling it head on. It's not burying my head in the sand, it's deciding it's not worth it at that time.

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By *emorefridaCouple
38 weeks ago

La la land

It's not a matter of burying my head in the sand. It's more a case of being totally overwhelmed and being burnout. In those times I have to prioritise and some things have to put aside until I can mentally manage them.

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By (user no longer on site)
38 weeks ago

I bury my head in the sand when I get letters from the council about how much I owe in council tax!

The letters remain unopened

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By *obilebottom OP Man
38 weeks ago

All over

Thanks for the posts everyone. Looks like most of us to prioritise tjings, burry a few stuff and unearth to deal with when time is right. A few just leave there if that is the best place for them and will do more harm than good to bring to the surface. We all deal with stuff in the best way we can.

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By *rixie_BlondeWoman
38 weeks ago

London (She/Her)

The older I’ve grown the more I’ve got into denial. When I was young and full of spunk I believed I had to know the truth and speak my truth in every situation. And you know what that got me? Thoroughly beaten down and broken.

So now I try to know my limits - know what outcomes I’m looking for, and whether my behaviour now will impact on those outcomes. Most stuff that matters I have no control over at all, so I try not to think about it

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