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Respect

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By *stwo2023 OP   Couple
36 weeks ago

Worcester

Do you respect everyone until they disrespect you or do people have to earn your respect from the get go?

I have taken this from the fat person at the gym thread but I didn't want to derail it so am starting my own

Some of the replies on there imply to me (and I may have some bias and may be projecting a bit, that's for me to go away and work through) that fat people are only respected if they are trying to change themselves to be thinner.

Certainly online the concept of a fat person being active and posting online seems to anger a lot of people and illicit some vile comments.

I posted a video of me enjoying a walk in my village once and a total stranger told me to put rocks in my pocket and waln into a lake I know he was a dick and I didn't rise to his shit posting but this is mild compared to some.

Same with disabled people. It's seems they only get respect if they are doing something inspiring or 'breaking the barriers' etc

Is there a generic level of respect we should have for all?

Evie

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By *he_turtle_movesMan
36 weeks ago

york

Honestly I'm generally ambivalent to other people until they give me a reason to go one way or the other.

They're living their lives and I'm living mine. I saw the gym post and really I don't care who's in the gym with me as long as I can get through my workout.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I'm neutral with everyone new that I meet. I don't automatically respect everyone, because there are a lot off assholes out there that don't deserve respect

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By *ot to giggleWoman
36 weeks ago

Coventry

interesting - I take people as I find them, so not sure if respect but am respectful to them , to me its a manners thing. I chat to everyone until the do something that is disrespectful to me, then it depends on the situation to how i treat them. I can be professional or just courteous, or just cut them off

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By *he_turtle_movesMan
36 weeks ago

york

I think manners is the right way to phrase it. I'll treat everyone politely but respect is earned

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Yes but apparently that’s woke snowflake shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I think it's important to have a basic level of courtesy to people you meet. Whether that translates to respecting them or not all depends on how we get on.

For example, if I've won more Premierships alone than the other 19 managers together, that deserves respect *storms out of room*

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

To me, respect isn’t about how I feel about someone it’s knowing where I end and they start. My view isn’t theirs, my perspective is different than theirs. We can be one inch apart and yet a world apart. Recognising that, to me, is what respect really means.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I think it's important to have a basic level of courtesy to people you meet. Whether that translates to respecting them or not all depends on how we get on.

For example, if I've won more Premierships alone than the other 19 managers together, that deserves respect *storms out of room*"

Respect man. Respect. Respect.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Central

I start with the premise that we should have respect for others. It's a basic foundation for wellbeing and our society to function well.

People may harm the respect that they get, through their behaviour but they are still able to rebuild it. I don't write people off for evermore.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
36 weeks ago

East Sussex

People should keep their flaming mouths shut and their unasked for opinions to themselves.

Things described in the op don't have anything to do with respect for others and everything to do with projecting their unsavoury character and poor self esteem onto other people demonstrating a lack of respect for themselves.

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By *rumguy1982Man
36 weeks ago

Birmingham

I personally take people as i find them, especially on here, you be nice, il be nice, you be a dick, il block you

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
36 weeks ago

East Sussex

But no, I don't automatically give respect. I'm not a saint, I make assumptions based on appearance and behaviour. I do try to keep those assumptions to myself until I can make a more informed decision about people though.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"Do you respect everyone until they disrespect you or do people have to earn your respect from the get go?

I have taken this from the fat person at the gym thread but I didn't want to derail it so am starting my own

Some of the replies on there imply to me (and I may have some bias and may be projecting a bit, that's for me to go away and work through) that fat people are only respected if they are trying to change themselves to be thinner.

Certainly online the concept of a fat person being active and posting online seems to anger a lot of people and illicit some vile comments.

I posted a video of me enjoying a walk in my village once and a total stranger told me to put rocks in my pocket and waln into a lake I know he was a dick and I didn't rise to his shit posting but this is mild compared to some.

Same with disabled people. It's seems they only get respect if they are doing something inspiring or 'breaking the barriers' etc

Is there a generic level of respect we should have for all?

Evie"

Simply put yes, that thread and the shaming thread kind of run concurrently.

Boils down to the same forumites posting about body shaming and shaming others as if its a cool subject. I posted a comment and had a nasty vibe they belong to the Clique of thus aforesaid forum. Body shaming posts mods should be banned and vile comments a life time ban.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I try my best. Most of the time I think I manage it. Showing respect doesn’t mean you have to like or agree with the person you’re respecting. I think some people can feel disrespected when other people just choose not to engage with them, but that in itself can be an act of respect

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I try my best. Most of the time I think I manage it. Showing respect doesn’t mean you have to like or agree with the person you’re respecting. I think some people can feel disrespected when other people just choose not to engage with them, but that in itself can be an act of respect "

Retthhhhpekkktttt!

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By *orl1971Couple
36 weeks ago

Glasgow

Read the gym thread.

I think a lot of people were showing respect or ambivalence to a question asked. I respect a larger person who goes to the gym to get fitter but I also respect an underweight person who goes to the gym to get fitter or stronger. I respect an average person who is training for a marathon. Am I body shaming anyone ?

Do I respect people who sit on the couch and complain about their lot or lack of fitness? I’m respectful to them and I’m not going to shame them but I’m not really thinking ‘wow well done you’ because anyone can do that. They’re making a life choice and it’s their life.

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By *ipstick KissesWoman
36 weeks ago

There and Here

I'm not sure that I respect someone - or indeed disrespect them - just because of a single act or a specific lifestyle choice. I might admire/appreciate that particular act or choice, but if they were otherwise an absolute cunt it wouldn't make a difference to my level of respect for them.

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By *ell GwynnWoman
36 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

It depends which meaning you're ascribing to the word "respect", OP. I like to believe most people treat others with due regard, unless they have good reason not to. Admiration is earned.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
36 weeks ago

Reading

I let them do them.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I was having this discussion with someone this week. I was trying to explain that not being respected is a very different thing from being disrespected, in my opinion at least. One is a deliberate knowing act, the other could be completely unintentional (in my opinion). But maybe my opinion unintentionally doesn’t respect your opinion and I may unknowingly not be respecting you with this reply?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
36 weeks ago

East Sussex

When it comes to opinions I don't think respect should be the default. Acknowledgment certainly should but some opinions are so awful or just downright daft that respect cannot be expected

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By *inAndTonic21Couple
36 weeks ago

Merseyside

I just take people as I find them- usually everyone treated the same unless they do something to change that!

The gym thread was an interesting read - I think it’s good people are getting healthy regardless of size or shape

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By *ellhungvweMan
36 weeks ago

Cheltenham


"Honestly I'm generally ambivalent to other people until they give me a reason to go one way or the other.

They're living their lives and I'm living mine. I saw the gym post and really I don't care who's in the gym with me as long as I can get through my workout. "

I am largely with this

I don’t like to treat people poorly but I don’t put them on a pedastal either.

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By *ravelling_WilburyMan
36 weeks ago

Beverley

The thought of someone having to earn my respect makes me cringe.

It can easily be lost but doesn't have to be earned from the off.

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By *emorefridaCouple
36 weeks ago

La la land

Think the being heavier than standard and fitness is a complex issue and not all about respect. But is a reflection on how people view themselves.

I'm in agreement with nicecouple, that some people really should keep their opinions to themselves.

I think respect means a heck of a lot of different things to different people. Which is why people tend to grumble the youth of today are disrespectful etc.

To me respect is taking someone's opinion, life style choice whatever it is and not criticising it just because I don't agree with it. You can debate it and explain your viewpoint on it, but to dismiss it without context is disrespectful in my opinion.

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By *eliWoman
36 weeks ago

.


"People should keep their flaming mouths shut and their unasked for opinions to themselves.

Things described in the op don't have anything to do with respect for others and everything to do with projecting their unsavoury character and poor self esteem onto other people demonstrating a lack of respect for themselves. "

Yep, exactly this.

I try to start a base level of respect for others. Almost bordering on ambivalence but not quite. Try and show basic courtesy is probably more accurate. But I'm human. I make errors, I'm sometimes a complete throbber. People grow on me or I realise we're not compatible so try to avoid.

What I actively try and avoid is sharing assumptions - being disrespectful based on those. That's not fair and is a whole new level of twuntery.

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By *od ThrusterMan
36 weeks ago

Newport Pagnell

Respect is earned, but so is disrespect. I start from a neutral standpoint and people can go either way.

Courtesy, however, is a given minimum standard, only to eventually be forfeited by someone gaining disrespect.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I’m getting confused by the comments about respect being earned or lost? It seems very self centred. In my curious world ALL humans get my respect, even the ones I don’t particularly like. I think often how you treat others says a lot more about your own character than theirs!

Admiration is another thing entirely though!

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By *ackformore100Man
36 weeks ago

Tin town


"Do you respect everyone until they disrespect you or do people have to earn your respect from the get go?

I have taken this from the fat person at the gym thread but I didn't want to derail it so am starting my own

Some of the replies on there imply to me (and I may have some bias and may be projecting a bit, that's for me to go away and work through) that fat people are only respected if they are trying to change themselves to be thinner.

Certainly online the concept of a fat person being active and posting online seems to anger a lot of people and illicit some vile comments.

I posted a video of me enjoying a walk in my village once and a total stranger told me to put rocks in my pocket and waln into a lake I know he was a dick and I didn't rise to his shit posting but this is mild compared to some.

Same with disabled people. It's seems they only get respect if they are doing something inspiring or 'breaking the barriers' etc

Is there a generic level of respect we should have for all?

Evie"

I always start respecting everyone until they give me a reason not to. Prejudice however is a bastard interloper so it's important to reflect. It's also important what "respecting others" actually means. I have no idea what it means to others unless we have discussed it together. So largely what I think is, me being respectful... Might not be for others. I don't think however we need to worry too much about random strangers really. The dreadful social media influence has encouraged people to have an opinion about everything and everyone and often, brave behind a keyboard to habitually comment about others who they know nothing about and often seem to do so without thought of what impact that might have on others. In my opinion that's very toxic and should be confronted not just dismissed as the person is a cunt.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
36 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Do you respect everyone until they disrespect you or do people have to earn your respect from the get go?

"

I'll show respect to people I know, or don't know, unless given reason to do otherwise.

I don't need to know someone, or if I do even like them. It's a default setting.

If I have good (in my mind, not down to anyone else's view of someone) reason to not respect someone then they'll generally have an uphill struggle changing my mind.

Likewise with views, actions and opinions. Some are impossible for me to respect.

But that's as much on me as it is on them. It all comes down to personal values really.

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By *emonbuttercreamWoman
36 weeks ago

Birmingham

I genuinely would say that I respect everyone I meet until they give me a reason not to. Shouldn't we all respect people we meet? Surely that's just common decency no?

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By *emorefridaCouple
36 weeks ago

La la land


"I’m getting confused by the comments about respect being earned or lost? It seems very self centred. In my curious world ALL humans get my respect, even the ones I don’t particularly like. I think often how you treat others says a lot more about your own character than theirs!

Admiration is another thing entirely though! "

How do you measure/define respect though? What is difference between respect and common courtesy?

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By *rpeggioCouple
36 weeks ago

Baughurst

Respect everyone on equal measure until they lose my respect by being disrespectful to me or to others

Wow, the examples you mention are not projection, are simply people that are not nice. Full stop.

I contributed to the thread you mentioned. I have respect for anyone who wants to be fitter (healthier) and so I applaud anyone who makes an effort to keep healthy or improve their health and fitness. If some people do it to change into a particular body shape or clothes size, that's up to them, but I would not recommend the gym or exercising with that as the main motivation.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I’m getting confused by the comments about respect being earned or lost? It seems very self centred. In my curious world ALL humans get my respect, even the ones I don’t particularly like. I think often how you treat others says a lot more about your own character than theirs!

Admiration is another thing entirely though!

How do you measure/define respect though? What is difference between respect and common courtesy? "

Pretty much the same thing imo! It’s just knowing that you don’t know everything about them and you couldn’t possibly know the full picture or back story and even if you did then why be mean to anyone? Respect is contagious in a good way

If you step up from respect then you’re talking about admiration, judgement, identifying and opinion. Respect shouldn’t take a side or judge…

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By *lym4realCouple
36 weeks ago

plymouth

Well as Mr4's step[ father used to tell him ...Respect is a 2 way street or even has to be earn't not given and we both respect other's and ask they do the same and many different reason why anyone is like they are and it's not unto you actually have a conversation with them and ACTUALLY listen to them you may indeed find out the reason or reason for them being like it ? and quite afew times it is down to mental health issues more than anything or stuff they have had to suffer/endure xxx

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By *emorefridaCouple
36 weeks ago

La la land


"I’m getting confused by the comments about respect being earned or lost? It seems very self centred. In my curious world ALL humans get my respect, even the ones I don’t particularly like. I think often how you treat others says a lot more about your own character than theirs!

Admiration is another thing entirely though!

How do you measure/define respect though? What is difference between respect and common courtesy?

Pretty much the same thing imo! It’s just knowing that you don’t know everything about them and you couldn’t possibly know the full picture or back story and even if you did then why be mean to anyone? Respect is contagious in a good way

If you step up from respect then you’re talking about admiration, judgement, identifying and opinion. Respect shouldn’t take a side or judge…"

I see respect and common courtesy as being different. I can extend common courtesy to people I dislike a lot, but I don't necessarily respect them as a person. As I said I guess everyone has a different spin on the same thing as with much of life.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
36 weeks ago

Leeds

No everyone’s a bellend until proven otherwise, but I am polite so I treat/speak to people how I’m treaded/spoken too.

The mr

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By *ansoffateMan
36 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Yes I believe there's a fundamental level of respect to be given to people who have as much right to be here and live their lives as they see fit as I or anyone else.

There's deeper levels of respect I can gain or lose over time though. I can respect people deeply even if I disagree with their views - it's more their intellectual and moral integrity that matters.

I've said it before there's been a governmental level study that has demonstrated that the campaign to lose weight over the last decades has made it socially acceptable to body-shame and caused a huge increase in eating disorders, rates in young people have doubled. It's rife in schools.

I don't respect body-shaming. And sometimes it's a matter of self-respect to challenge people's behaviours. Even if it is often casting one's seed on stoney ground.

I respect introspection and a recognition of our own biases - as you have shown and I think that's where we ought to start. When we judge people that's an opportunity to learn about ourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago


"I’m getting confused by the comments about respect being earned or lost? It seems very self centred. In my curious world ALL humans get my respect, even the ones I don’t particularly like. I think often how you treat others says a lot more about your own character than theirs!

Admiration is another thing entirely though!

How do you measure/define respect though? What is difference between respect and common courtesy?

Pretty much the same thing imo! It’s just knowing that you don’t know everything about them and you couldn’t possibly know the full picture or back story and even if you did then why be mean to anyone? Respect is contagious in a good way

If you step up from respect then you’re talking about admiration, judgement, identifying and opinion. Respect shouldn’t take a side or judge…

I see respect and common courtesy as being different. I can extend common courtesy to people I dislike a lot, but I don't necessarily respect them as a person. As I said I guess everyone has a different spin on the same thing as with much of life. "

Really? That’s surprised me Frida

How do you feel when someone doesn’t respect you?

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By *emorefridaCouple
36 weeks ago

La la land


"I’m getting confused by the comments about respect being earned or lost? It seems very self centred. In my curious world ALL humans get my respect, even the ones I don’t particularly like. I think often how you treat others says a lot more about your own character than theirs!

Admiration is another thing entirely though!

How do you measure/define respect though? What is difference between respect and common courtesy?

Pretty much the same thing imo! It’s just knowing that you don’t know everything about them and you couldn’t possibly know the full picture or back story and even if you did then why be mean to anyone? Respect is contagious in a good way

If you step up from respect then you’re talking about admiration, judgement, identifying and opinion. Respect shouldn’t take a side or judge…

I see respect and common courtesy as being different. I can extend common courtesy to people I dislike a lot, but I don't necessarily respect them as a person. As I said I guess everyone has a different spin on the same thing as with much of life.

Really? That’s surprised me Frida

How do you feel when someone doesn’t respect you? "

It's horrible, currently have issues in work with an individual who doesn't because I am female.

But when I think you endure abuse etc. It's hard to think about respecting that individual ever again. But I can be courteous to that person. As you can imagine the list of people I have no respect for is tiny, but it does exist.

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By *rHotNottsMan
36 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

[Removed by poster at 03/05/24 12:22:17]

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By *rHotNottsMan
36 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

My respect for someone isn’t based on what they think of me, so no.

I respect people based on their values, motives, behaviours, actions and to some degree their beliefs.

If someone disrespects me , it usually wouldn’t register. Maybe they have good reason, who knows….unless it’s a friend it wouldn’t concern me.

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By *ealitybitesMan
36 weeks ago

Belfast

One thing I've found in recent years and especially in the fab forums is that there are a lot of people who believe that we should respect others simply because they are fat or because of the colour of their skin or their gender identity.

I would like to one why any of those attributes entitles them to any more respect than anyone else?

I am respectful to everyone but that is based on attitude not appearance.

Being fat,disabled,gay or a different skin colour doesn't exclude anyone from being a cunt and therefore not deserving of my respect.

For too many people on fab equality is a buzzword but reading a lot of forum posts they believe that some are more equal than others.

So while I am respectful to everyone I think there is a difference between that and showing someone respect.

I don't show a woman respect just because she is a woman but I will if she is a decent human being.

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By *rHotNottsMan
36 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Respect everyone on equal measure until they lose my respect by being disrespectful to me or to others

Wow, the examples you mention are not projection, are simply people that are not nice. Full stop.

I contributed to the thread you mentioned. I have respect for anyone who wants to be fitter (healthier) and so I applaud anyone who makes an effort to keep healthy or improve their health and fitness. If some people do it to change into a particular body shape or clothes size, that's up to them, but I would not recommend the gym or exercising with that as the main motivation. "

Would you respect Adolf Hitler or Boris Johnson if they didn’t disrespect you ?

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By *naswingdressWoman
36 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

I treat everyone with basic courtesy unless they give me a reason to do otherwise.

I give no one deference unless they give me a reason to do otherwise.

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
36 weeks ago

Fylde Coast

Respect is earned not just given. We don't care who you are, including ourselves,treat people how expect to be treated and it shows who you really are. Treat us like idiots and we are gone...

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
36 weeks ago

Fylde Coast

[Removed by poster at 03/05/24 12:49:37]

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By *stwo2023 OP   Couple
36 weeks ago

Worcester


"Respect is earned not just given. We don't care who you are, including ourselves,treat people how expect to be treated and it shows who you really are. Treat us like idiots and we are gone... "

So I expect to be treated with respect therefore I give respect until someone disrespects me. Basic respect from me is not something I require people to earn.

Evie

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By *stwo2023 OP   Couple
36 weeks ago

Worcester


"One thing I've found in recent years and especially in the fab forums is that there are a lot of people who believe that we should respect others simply because they are fat or because of the colour of their skin or their gender identity.

I would like to one why any of those attributes entitles them to any more respect than anyone else?

I am respectful to everyone but that is based on attitude not appearance.

Being fat,disabled,gay or a different skin colour doesn't exclude anyone from being a cunt and therefore not deserving of my respect.

For too many people on fab equality is a buzzword but reading a lot of forum posts they believe that some are more equal than others.

So while I am respectful to everyone I think there is a difference between that and showing someone respect.

I don't show a woman respect just because she is a woman but I will if she is a decent human being.

"

I don't think anyone has suggested they get more respect than others but it is clear that they automatically get less respect from a lot of people simply based on those attributes.

Is that fair? They've not been proven to be a cunt or done anything disrespectful yet some people already see them as unworthy simply because they are gay or fat or trans etc.

Evie

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
36 weeks ago

Fylde Coast


"Respect is earned not just given. We don't care who you are, including ourselves,treat people how expect to be treated and it shows who you really are. Treat us like idiots and we are gone...

So I expect to be treated with respect therefore I give respect until someone disrespects me. Basic respect from me is not something I require people to earn.

Evie "

The level of respect you show another person is shown as soon as you meet them, its a two way street. We offer a basic level of respect in as much as being polite etc whenever we meet new people, some people do the same others not so much...

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By *naswingdressWoman
36 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Respect is earned not just given. We don't care who you are, including ourselves,treat people how expect to be treated and it shows who you really are. Treat us like idiots and we are gone...

So I expect to be treated with respect therefore I give respect until someone disrespects me. Basic respect from me is not something I require people to earn.

Evie "

It's the classic conflation of the two meanings of the word respect, which is why I didn't use it in my post.

You often see authority figures saying "I'll treat you with respect when you treat me with respect". Which isn't equal, because what it means is "I'll treat you with basic decency when you give me the deference I'm demanding".

I don't give people deference unless they've earned it. I treat all people with basic courtesy unless they've earned otherwise.

We have to dig in to what we mean by respect, otherwise we talk past each other.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
36 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I give a basic level of respect. Anymore has to be earned. I don't care if your fat or thin. Able bodied or disabled. Black or white. Anything beyond basic respect has to be earnt

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
36 weeks ago

Fylde Coast


"I give a basic level of respect. Anymore has to be earned. I don't care if your fat or thin. Able bodied or disabled. Black or white. Anything beyond basic respect has to be earnt"

This

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By *naswingdressWoman
36 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I give a basic level of respect. Anymore has to be earned. I don't care if your fat or thin. Able bodied or disabled. Black or white. Anything beyond basic respect has to be earnt"

I suspect that there are different expectations placed upon those with visible differences that affect what we expect from them and thus how we treat them.

It's something I'm constantly asking myself, anyway, whether I'm really being fair or whether I am treating some groups better than others. (it's why I'm so often accused of being against those in power, because I dare to treat their bullshit with the deference it deserves if it came out of the mouths of someone not in power )

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

This is all about your morale compass treat everyone how you would like to be that is until they treat you disrespectfully then they don't deserve your effort however you never know what people are really going through.. So to that end only look down to someone if your helping them back up.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Everyone ...hear me out.

Body shaming is that respect?

Is being nasty on a keyboard nice no and respect goes out the window.

Does anyone owe anyone any respect? No.Courteous is all this forum should be. Is body shaming either of those.

So if you get a barrage of attacks is that vile,accepted as normal behaviour.

I hear...if they behave,what is acceptable behaviour? This is a keyboard warriors toy. Always has been since I been a member way back.

I think we need to be told what subjects we can talk about? Or is it a free for all. Because mods there is a very thin line in your terms and conditions of what is right behaviour towards others

Also what behaviour do we need to show to each other? Can we be destructive and vile is that the fab forum norm.

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By *ealitybitesMan
36 weeks ago

Belfast


"One thing I've found in recent years and especially in the fab forums is that there are a lot of people who believe that we should respect others simply because they are fat or because of the colour of their skin or their gender identity.

I would like to one why any of those attributes entitles them to any more respect than anyone else?

I am respectful to everyone but that is based on attitude not appearance.

Being fat,disabled,gay or a different skin colour doesn't exclude anyone from being a cunt and therefore not deserving of my respect.

For too many people on fab equality is a buzzword but reading a lot of forum posts they believe that some are more equal than others.

So while I am respectful to everyone I think there is a difference between that and showing someone respect.

I don't show a woman respect just because she is a woman but I will if she is a decent human being.

I don't think anyone has suggested they get more respect than others but it is clear that they automatically get less respect from a lot of people simply based on those attributes.

Is that fair? They've not been proven to be a cunt or done anything disrespectful yet some people already see them as unworthy simply because they are gay or fat or trans etc.

Evie "

I agree that no one should be disrespected for any of those reasons but rather than repeat what others have already said I'm putting a different spin on it.

I've met lots of people through work and other activities who believe they can act the cunt but are above criticism because of how they look or how they identify.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
36 weeks ago

North West


" Same with disabled people. It's seems they only get respect if they are doing something inspiring or 'breaking the barriers' etc

Is there a generic level of respect we should have for all?

Evie"

I picked this out Evie because it's so true!

I've not had any grief or comments in the gym re: my size/fatness but I have had random "OMG you're so inspirational" comments, which I find bizarre. I'm not doing anything different to the next person, actually. I've had people "inspired" by me going to the supermarket. By just existing in general society.

There's also a harmful perception that because some disabled people can do things like go to the Paralympics or whatever, that this means all disabled people can do exactly the same as everyone else in society. This narrative feeds into the Govt "sick note" culture comments, whereby people who are genuinely disabled and unable/less able to work are described as shirkers.

I know some disabled people who have participated in international sports competition and they also struggle massively with the general accessibility of society, of struggling or being unable to work because of structural and societal barriers and because the ridiculous PIP and Access to Work systems are broken.

Anyways, rant over and sorry for the hijack.

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By *ansoffateMan
36 weeks ago

Sagittarius A


"I give a basic level of respect. Anymore has to be earned. I don't care if your fat or thin. Able bodied or disabled. Black or white. Anything beyond basic respect has to be earnt

I suspect that there are different expectations placed upon those with visible differences that affect what we expect from them and thus how we treat them.

It's something I'm constantly asking myself, anyway, whether I'm really being fair or whether I am treating some groups better than others. (it's why I'm so often accused of being against those in power, because I dare to treat their bullshit with the deference it deserves if it came out of the mouths of someone not in power )"

To paraphrase Chomsky: It's the responsibility of those in power to justify their actions to those they exert power over. If they cannot then they or the institution they represent should be replaced or removed.

It's fundamental to liberty, as far as I am concerned. And authority is self-justifying.

I am not sure people who seek power ask themselves the same questions as you do about whether they are being fair.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
36 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

[Removed by poster at 03/05/24 13:36:43]

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By *naswingdressWoman
36 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I give a basic level of respect. Anymore has to be earned. I don't care if your fat or thin. Able bodied or disabled. Black or white. Anything beyond basic respect has to be earnt

I suspect that there are different expectations placed upon those with visible differences that affect what we expect from them and thus how we treat them.

It's something I'm constantly asking myself, anyway, whether I'm really being fair or whether I am treating some groups better than others. (it's why I'm so often accused of being against those in power, because I dare to treat their bullshit with the deference it deserves if it came out of the mouths of someone not in power )

To paraphrase Chomsky: It's the responsibility of those in power to justify their actions to those they exert power over. If they cannot then they or the institution they represent should be replaced or removed.

It's fundamental to liberty, as far as I am concerned. And authority is self-justifying.

I am not sure people who seek power ask themselves the same questions as you do about whether they are being fair."

Indeed. Often to me it feels like the other way around. The more power you have, the more you get to justify stupidity and incompetence. The less power you have, the more you have to fit into a perfect convenient stereotype in order to have your existence justified.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
36 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

I respect everyone. I respect them even if they disrespect me. I deal with that in other ways...... I would not lower my standards or lose my values because they showed me disrespect.

They do not operate me...

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By *aters139Man
36 weeks ago

Sheffield


"Do you respect everyone until they disrespect you or do people have to earn your respect from the get go?

I have taken this from the fat person at the gym thread but I didn't want to derail it so am starting my own

Some of the replies on there imply to me (and I may have some bias and may be projecting a bit, that's for me to go away and work through) that fat people are only respected if they are trying to change themselves to be thinner.

Certainly online the concept of a fat person being active and posting online seems to anger a lot of people and illicit some vile comments.

I posted a video of me enjoying a walk in my village once and a total stranger told me to put rocks in my pocket and waln into a lake I know he was a dick and I didn't rise to his shit posting but this is mild compared to some.

Same with disabled people. It's seems they only get respect if they are doing something inspiring or 'breaking the barriers' etc

Is there a generic level of respect we should have for all?

Evie"

I work on the basis that respect is earnt not given.

However, you should be considerate to everyone until they give you a reason not to be, then, fuck em.

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By *ansoffateMan
36 weeks ago

Sagittarius A


"I give a basic level of respect. Anymore has to be earned. I don't care if your fat or thin. Able bodied or disabled. Black or white. Anything beyond basic respect has to be earnt

I suspect that there are different expectations placed upon those with visible differences that affect what we expect from them and thus how we treat them.

It's something I'm constantly asking myself, anyway, whether I'm really being fair or whether I am treating some groups better than others. (it's why I'm so often accused of being against those in power, because I dare to treat their bullshit with the deference it deserves if it came out of the mouths of someone not in power )

To paraphrase Chomsky: It's the responsibility of those in power to justify their actions to those they exert power over. If they cannot then they or the institution they represent should be replaced or removed.

It's fundamental to liberty, as far as I am concerned. And authority is self-justifying.

I am not sure people who seek power ask themselves the same questions as you do about whether they are being fair.

Indeed. Often to me it feels like the other way around. The more power you have, the more you get to justify stupidity and incompetence. The less power you have, the more you have to fit into a perfect convenient stereotype in order to have your existence justified."

I agree, although sometimes I think the stupidity and incompetence is a veil to hide a more nefarious agenda.

You've reminded me of one of my favourite quotes: 'If I didn't define myself for myself. I'd be crushed into other people fantasies for me and eaten alive.' Audre Lourde.

You renew my hope of a better future for my children, thank you.

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By *naswingdressWoman
36 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I give a basic level of respect. Anymore has to be earned. I don't care if your fat or thin. Able bodied or disabled. Black or white. Anything beyond basic respect has to be earnt

I suspect that there are different expectations placed upon those with visible differences that affect what we expect from them and thus how we treat them.

It's something I'm constantly asking myself, anyway, whether I'm really being fair or whether I am treating some groups better than others. (it's why I'm so often accused of being against those in power, because I dare to treat their bullshit with the deference it deserves if it came out of the mouths of someone not in power )

To paraphrase Chomsky: It's the responsibility of those in power to justify their actions to those they exert power over. If they cannot then they or the institution they represent should be replaced or removed.

It's fundamental to liberty, as far as I am concerned. And authority is self-justifying.

I am not sure people who seek power ask themselves the same questions as you do about whether they are being fair.

Indeed. Often to me it feels like the other way around. The more power you have, the more you get to justify stupidity and incompetence. The less power you have, the more you have to fit into a perfect convenient stereotype in order to have your existence justified.

I agree, although sometimes I think the stupidity and incompetence is a veil to hide a more nefarious agenda.

You've reminded me of one of my favourite quotes: 'If I didn't define myself for myself. I'd be crushed into other people fantasies for me and eaten alive.' Audre Lourde.

You renew my hope of a better future for my children, thank you."

Thank you. Some of us do try.

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By *yreGuy99Man
36 weeks ago

Somewhere in Moria

I only respect my family and friends. No one else has given me a reason to respect them. People have to earn my respect.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
36 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross


"I only respect my family and friends. No one else has given me a reason to respect them. People have to earn my respect."

Why? Who made you judge and jury ?

What do they have to do to earn a very basic right ?

What kind of human being doesn't respect others from the off ?

Seems to me that this thread might benefit from a definition of respect before people get to discussing whether they 'give' it or not...

So many Gods in here

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
36 weeks ago

Fylde Coast


"I only respect my family and friends. No one else has given me a reason to respect them. People have to earn my respect.

Why? Who made you judge and jury ?

What do they have to do to earn a very basic right ?

What kind of human being doesn't respect others from the off ?

Seems to me that this thread might benefit from a definition of respect before people get to discussing whether they 'give' it or not...

So many Gods in here "

And what gives you the right to tell anyone else how to live there life. That shows a complete lack of respect for anyone, unless that is, they happen to agree with you. There are no rights or wrongs, just individual thoughts. You are welcome to live your life as you desire just as everyone else is to live there's....

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
36 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross


"I only respect my family and friends. No one else has given me a reason to respect them. People have to earn my respect.

Why? Who made you judge and jury ?

What do they have to do to earn a very basic right ?

What kind of human being doesn't respect others from the off ?

Seems to me that this thread might benefit from a definition of respect before people get to discussing whether they 'give' it or not...

So many Gods in here

And what gives you the right to tell anyone else how to live there life. That shows a complete lack of respect for anyone, unless that is, they happen to agree with you. There are no rights or wrongs, just individual thoughts. You are welcome to live your life as you desire just as everyone else is to live there's...."

Was that to me ....... ?

If it wasn't ... okay.

If it was .... No mention of how others should live their life was mentioned.

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
36 weeks ago

Fylde Coast


"I only respect my family and friends. No one else has given me a reason to respect them. People have to earn my respect.

Why? Who made you judge and jury ?

What do they have to do to earn a very basic right ?

What kind of human being doesn't respect others from the off ?

Seems to me that this thread might benefit from a definition of respect before people get to discussing whether they 'give' it or not...

So many Gods in here

And what gives you the right to tell anyone else how to live there life. That shows a complete lack of respect for anyone, unless that is, they happen to agree with you. There are no rights or wrongs, just individual thoughts. You are welcome to live your life as you desire just as everyone else is to live there's....

Was that to me ....... ?

If it wasn't ... okay.

If it was .... No mention of how others should live their life was mentioned.

"

I think you need to read the post again

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