FabSwingers.com forum: Comedian are you?

By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

How funny are you from 1 to 25?

Ta X

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By *nt1845Man
36 weeks ago

Birmingham

I leave that for others to judge but apparently I should have had a go at stand up

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

From what I posted on your other thread, -1.

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By *amie HantsWoman
36 weeks ago

Atlantis

Sometimes I’m off the chart funny, other times I fail to make the chart.

I like having someone to bounce off

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
36 weeks ago

Wherever

I’m not even remotely funny.

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By *agatoXXXMan
36 weeks ago

Gone and completely forgotten.

I'm not.

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By *ickD38Man
36 weeks ago

Preston

I do performance poetry - if they laugh, I'm a comedian. If they don't, I'm a very serious aaaarghtist, daaahling.

I either get groupies or an Arts Council grant so I'm happy either way tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
36 weeks ago

Manchester

I’m a solid 6.9

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By *aizyWoman
36 weeks ago

west midlands

In my head I am hilarious, out loud, not so much

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"From what I posted on your other thread, -1."

23!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"0"

I actually find you really funny and sharp! Not just an ugly face!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"I leave that for others to judge but apparently I should have had a go at stand up"

Best joke plz - 3,2,1, NOW!

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I actually find you really funny and sharp! Not just an ugly face!

My nose is very pointy.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

24 to my friends, family and work colleagues.

5 to the people on here. Just not my demographic clearly

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"In my head I am hilarious, out loud, not so much

I agree

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Sometimes I’m off the chart funny, other times I fail to make the chart.

I like having someone to bounce off "

You’re definitely one for shared humour! Fascinatingly wholesome too!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"I’m not even remotely funny. "

Well I’m not laughing!

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
36 weeks ago

Southampton

I like to think I'm funny but it's not for me to say lol

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
36 weeks ago

Southampton

"I leave that for others to judge but apparently I should have had a go at stand up

Best joke plz - 3,2,1, NOW!

What do you call a dinosaur with haemorrhoids??

A megasorearse...

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By *ohn.Wick.Man
36 weeks ago

The Continental

I dunno, I piss about in here and just waffle stuff that makes me laugh. Whether it makes others or not………..

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By *aizyWoman
36 weeks ago

west midlands

"In my head I am hilarious, out loud, not so much

I agree

I have just thought of something really funny about you!

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By *elloWoman
36 weeks ago

alpha centauri

It's cranked up to 11.

My humour is an acquired taste, I do find that often I'm the only one laughing at my jokes

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
36 weeks ago

Manchester

"It's cranked up to 11.

My humour is an acquired taste, I do find that often I'm the only one laughing at my jokes

They can’t be thaaaat baaaad.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
36 weeks ago

Leeds

Don’t know, can’t hear who laughs through a screen.

The mr

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By *hunky GentMan
36 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

People laugh at me in the street all the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Overly funny people, I don't find funny.

Dry slightly offensive humour? In for that.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

69.

My humour is immature at best.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"In my head I am hilarious, out loud, not so much

I agree

I have just thought of something really funny about you!

You said you was into micro penises

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By *hunky GentMan
36 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Overly funny people, I don't find funny.

Dry slightly offensive humour? In for that.

Get ya coat, you've pulled.

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By *irwanksalot69Man
36 weeks ago

Birmingham

Any 42 reference yet?

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
36 weeks ago

Manchester

"Any 42 reference yet?

Thought about it. Didn’t execute.

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By *issBellaWoman
36 weeks ago

Wales

A strong 20 in my head.

Probably 5 in reality

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By *hunky GentMan
36 weeks ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"Any 42 reference yet?

Put a towel over your arm - there'll be one in a minute.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
36 weeks ago

Southampton

"69.

My humour is immature at best. "

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By *irwanksalot69Man
36 weeks ago

Birmingham

"Any 42 reference yet?

Put a towel over your arm - there'll be one in a minute.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
36 weeks ago

North West

0. NSOH

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

To some people, a 25. To others, a 1 because I don't make racist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic comments and pass them off as jokes while getting offended that others are offended

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"To some people, a 25. To others, a 1 because I don't make racist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic comments and pass them off as jokes while getting offended that others are offended

Such a bore.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
36 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"How funny are you from 1 to 25?

Ta X"

Funny peculiar or funny ha ha ?

*probably around a 20 either way....

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By *odgerMooreMan
36 weeks ago

Nowhere

My ex said Im as funny as a washing machine.. admittedly I was taking the piss out of her knickers…

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"To some people, a 25. To others, a 1 because I don't make racist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic comments and pass them off as jokes while getting offended that others are offended

Such a bore. "

I know, I really need to up my game

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By *ealitybitesMan
36 weeks ago

Belfast

When I was 1 I made everyone laugh.

By the time I reached 25 I was fussy about who I made laugh.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
36 weeks ago

North West

"To some people, a 25. To others, a 1 because I don't make racist, homophobic, transphobic, xenophobic comments and pass them off as jokes while getting offended that others are offended

Such a bore.

I know, I really need to up my game"

Have a look at some English, Irish and Scottish jokes

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By *weetiepie99Woman
36 weeks ago

cardiff

Dry rather than funny. Although quite wet at the moment. From the rain .

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By *aizyWoman
36 weeks ago

west midlands

"In my head I am hilarious, out loud, not so much

I agree

I have just thought of something really funny about you!

You said you was into micro penises

Is that what that pic was you sent me?!

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By *parkle1974Woman
36 weeks ago

Leeds

I'm told often I'm not funny which is totally not true as I'm hilarious

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"How funny are you from 1 to 25?

Ta X

Funny peculiar or funny ha ha ?

*probably around a 20 either way...."

Is anyone a 20? Don’t you need to leave room to grow into it like kids shoes or a school blazer?

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By *illan-KillashMan
36 weeks ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

I was unexpectedly handed the mic a few weeks ago at a social and I was fucking hilarious.

Unfortunately my audience didn't understand Southern.

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
36 weeks ago

Manchester

I do think I’m reasonably amusing. Whether you all agree is another thing entirely

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Outside of Fab, 25. On Fab, far , far less.

In my own head, 20-23.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I have my moments, but I don’t think I’m hilarious.

I’m not naturally funny like some people are.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Can't remember jokes but good at observational humour.

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By *eadinthecloudsMan
36 weeks ago

Manchester

"Can't remember jokes but good at observational humour."

This is me. An absolute demon in the office but lost without good material in front of me.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
36 weeks ago

Southampton

"I was unexpectedly handed the mic a few weeks ago at a social and I was fucking hilarious.

Unfortunately my audience didn't understand Southern.

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By *reggSausageMan
36 weeks ago

derby

I have the comedian face

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By *illan-KillashMan
36 weeks ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

"I was unexpectedly handed the mic a few weeks ago at a social and I was fucking hilarious.

Unfortunately my audience didn't understand Southern.

Taking a translator next time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

I feel like I’ve not replied as much as I should in this thread coz I’m been busy stuffing my face and well fab/public restaurant don’t really mix too well together. But you guys seem to be very lively, so thanks to everyone who’s replied and you’re probably all dead funny too!

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By *ot to giggleWoman
36 weeks ago

Coventry

in here -25 .... in my head im hilarious , and i type shit - totally funny - its just that you dont have my sense of humour - if everyone had my sense of humour i would be even funnier

apparently its in the bones - or so he said

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By *rgasmatron1970Man
36 weeks ago

Bromley

My humour always gets me into trouble. I'm definitely going to hell

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"in here -25 .... in my head im hilarious , and i type shit - totally funny - its just that you dont have my sense of humour - if everyone had my sense of humour i would be even funnier

apparently its in the bones - or so he said "

Do you laugh out loud as your posting? I do!

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

I’m fairly witty occasionally.

Rest of the time I’m 25.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"I’m fairly witty occasionally.

Rest of the time I’m 25. "

You’re literally my new favourite funny person!

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By *aizyWoman
36 weeks ago

west midlands

What about you OP, where do you place yourself on the funny scale?

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By *ot to giggleWoman
36 weeks ago

Coventry

"in here -25 .... in my head im hilarious , and i type shit - totally funny - its just that you dont have my sense of humour - if everyone had my sense of humour i would be even funnier

apparently its in the bones - or so he said

Do you laugh out loud as your posting? I do!

yep - giggle - cant you see^^^^^^^^ clue

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By *arley QuimWoman
36 weeks ago

Somewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"I’m fairly witty occasionally.

Rest of the time I’m 25. "

I’ve always got time to read yours. I like your humour.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"69.

My humour is immature at best.

I’ve also been told I wasn’t funny. Everyone’s a fucking critic.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

"I’m fairly witty occasionally.

Rest of the time I’m 25.

I’ve always got time to read yours. I like your humour.

Thank you Woody.

* offers handshake

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"What about you OP, where do you place yourself on the funny scale?"

To myself I’m a 22 with some growing room. To others I’m like a marmite 6 or 15 I reckon? I think only you can really get yourself, others are always left guessing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

Has anyone told a joke yet?

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By *ittlebirdWoman
36 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

My friends tell me I’m really funny but then they actually mean mad as a box of frogs and tbh I’m all good with that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"My friends tell me I’m really funny but then they actually mean mad as a box of frogs and tbh I’m all good with that "

I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure yet

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

-42

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"I’m fairly witty occasionally.

Rest of the time I’m 25.

I’ve always got time to read yours. I like your humour.

Thank you Woody.

* offers handshake "

*puts on robber gloves…. Offers hand to shake

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By *ot to giggleWoman
36 weeks ago

Coventry

"I’m fairly witty occasionally.

Rest of the time I’m 25.

I’ve always got time to read yours. I like your humour.

Thank you Woody.

* offers handshake "

i often laugh out loud at yours too

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

"I’m fairly witty occasionally.

Rest of the time I’m 25.

I’ve always got time to read yours. I like your humour.

Thank you Woody.

* offers handshake

*puts on robber gloves…. Offers hand to shake

* wipes hand on a passer by who should’ve been walking a bit further away

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By *ittlebirdWoman
36 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"My friends tell me I’m really funny but then they actually mean mad as a box of frogs and tbh I’m all good with that

I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure yet

Of the frogs or the giant hamsters I fight in my dreams?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"My friends tell me I’m really funny but then they actually mean mad as a box of frogs and tbh I’m all good with that

I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure yet

Of the frogs or the giant hamsters I fight in my dreams?

The boobs…

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By *ostindreamsMan
36 weeks ago

London

Normally 12. When I dance, it's 26

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By *ittlebirdWoman
36 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

"My friends tell me I’m really funny but then they actually mean mad as a box of frogs and tbh I’m all good with that

I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure yet

Of the frogs or the giant hamsters I fight in my dreams?

The boobs…

Oh Bert and Ernie love saying _ello

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By *iaisonseekerMan
36 weeks ago

Liverpool

I use Fab to road test my smuttiest material so the quality is pretty uneven on here, maybe only a 15 on average.

By the time I take my tight 30 minute set to the Fringe, it should be a 20-minimum

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By *ansoffateMan
36 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

If you consider your humour to be dark, perhaps somewhat twisted. Maybe some form of maladaptive coping strategy.

There's usually one person in a group, in stitches when I go off on one, and the rest look disturbed. With quizzical looks: trying to decipher if I really mean it or whether that makes any difference. I'll take that, I'm not one for big groups, learning all those names, taking up rental space in my brain. Now I know the names of cats that are the pets of people I don't even like. What the fuck will I ever use that information for?

How much redundant bullshit is living rent free in our brains? No wonder I keep forgetting where my keys are. Yet I can tell you Shirley from the SPAR has a a ginger cat called Mr Snuggles that is 4 and hates going into the carrier when he visits the vet. I'll still know that 10 years from now, but I'll lose my keys 1000 times by then.

The only solution I have is to try and destroy those brain cells with alcohol and hope Mr Snuggles is burnt from my memory. Then never engage in conversation with Shirley, just keep my head down, never make eye contact - don't even glimpse at her name tag. I'm just a customer here to buy your discount doughnuts lady, keep this professional - it's a business transaction - boundaries!

I'll go there at 10:30pm Shirley is the only attendant and I'll use the automated shit anyway; right under her nose. Even if the thing won't scan: I'll just keep swiping and swiping until she caves in, comes over and types the code in. I won't even break a smile, just grab my stuff and run. Yeah fuck you Shirley I don't even like cats - one day you'll die and the fucker will probably eat you. Not such a Mr Snuggles then is he? Fuuuucck my life, now it's name is in my head again.

What was the question? Oh yeah I'm a laugh a minute, take a seat I'll make you feel like your life is a bed of roses. You'll be pouring your anti-depressants down the toilet and skipping to work the next day like a child without a care in the world. Just keep passing me Negronis and don't fill my head with erroneous details.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Forum threads are hilarious

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
36 weeks ago

Southampton

"Has anyone told a joke yet?

Yes! I did ages ago! ... it's all in the timing lol

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"If you consider your humour to be dark, perhaps somewhat twisted. Maybe some form of maladaptive coping strategy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"Has anyone told a joke yet?

Yes! I did ages ago! ... it's all in the timing lol"

Tell it again? x

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
36 weeks ago

North West

There's a lass I know called Similie.

I've no idea what I Metaphor

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"There's a lass I know called Similie.

I've no idea what I Metaphor

Tepid 4

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
36 weeks ago

North West

"There's a lass I know called Similie.

I've no idea what I Metaphor

Tepid 4

Better than the 0 I gave myself

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

I'm funny the way that strange bloke who hangs around outside the shops saying "_ello dere, I talk to the trees, that's why they put me away" is funny. A legend in my own lunchtime, with the wit if 1000 camels, if camels did comedy.

"Laugh? I nearly fucking died!" (Baron Vladimir Harkonnen: Giedi Prime)

"Funnier than the Black Death" (Wat Tyler)

"Huh?" (Albert Einstein)

"What, me worry?" (A.E.Neumann)

3¼

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By *uffnmuffCouple
36 weeks ago

London

Well I think I am hilarious

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I’m a 3. But like Stewart Lee I’m not really after laughs so I don’t care! what I want is a temporary mass consensus of the london liberal elite that evaporates upon contact with air.

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
36 weeks ago

Maidstone

Funny I am.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
36 weeks ago

North West

"Funny I am. "

Not Yoda?

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

"I'm funny the way that strange bloke who hangs around outside the shops saying "_ello dere, I talk to the trees, that's why they put me away" is funny. A legend in my own lunchtime, with the wit if 1000 camels, if camels did comedy.

"Laugh? I nearly fucking died!" (Baron Vladimir Harkonnen: Giedi Prime)

"Funnier than the Black Death" (Wat Tyler)

"Huh?" (Albert Einstein)

"What, me worry?" (A.E.Neumann)

3¼"

I’ve seen better. (Stevie Wonder)

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By *ansoffateMan
36 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

Thanks Joe that's with a peel twist, not a slice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

You can’t be sending me jokes in pm, that’s cheating!

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By *ittlebirdWoman
36 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

Thanks Joe that's with a peel twist, not a slice. "

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I look funny, is that what this is about?

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
36 weeks ago

Southampton

"You can’t be sending me jokes in pm, that’s cheating!

Not my fault you didn't read it on the thread !

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
36 weeks ago

Southampton

"I look funny, is that what this is about? "

Don't be daft x

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By *ools and the brainCouple
36 weeks ago

couple, us we him her.

"How funny are you from 1 to 25?

Ta X"

25 seems an odd choice but I'd say I'm around 100.

See your laughing already

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"You can’t be sending me jokes in pm, that’s cheating!

Not my fault you didn't read it on the thread !

What is this like Christmas Day reading the cracker jokes?

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
36 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Mrs TMN has literally told me that she is hilarious. She then gave examples to support this. I remain uncertain.

Mr TMN

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
36 weeks ago

Southampton

"You can’t be sending me jokes in pm, that’s cheating!

Not my fault you didn't read it on the thread !

What is this like Christmas Day reading the cracker jokes?

xx "

I came up with that one myself I'll have you know lol

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Laugh? I nearly fucking died!" (Baron Vladimir Harkonnen: Giedi Prime)

"Funnier than the Black Death" (Wat Tyler)

"Huh?" (Albert Einstein)

"What, me worry?" (A.E.Neumann)

3¼

I’ve seen better. (Stevie Wonder)"

"That's true" (DJ Trump)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
36 weeks ago

"You can’t be sending me jokes in pm, that’s cheating!

Not my fault you didn't read it on the thread !

What is this like Christmas Day reading the cracker jokes?

I came up with that one myself I'll have you know lol"

I’d give you 1!

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
36 weeks ago

Southampton

"You can’t be sending me jokes in pm, that’s cheating!

Not my fault you didn't read it on the thread !

What is this like Christmas Day reading the cracker jokes?

I came up with that one myself I'll have you know lol

I’d give you 1!

Oi oi ! I'd give you 1 2

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By *ickD38Man
36 weeks ago

Preston

"I’m a 3. But like Stewart Lee I’m not really after laughs so I don’t care! what I want is a temporary mass consensus of the london liberal elite that evaporates upon contact with air.

They throw you in jail for that, these days

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Yeah im actually quite funny when you get to know me id say a 9

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By *illan-KillashMan
36 weeks ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

When I said I wanted to be a comedian everyone laughed.

Well they're not laughing now.

Cred. Bob Monkhouse

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

"When I said I wanted to be a comedian everyone laughed.

Well they're not laughing now.

Cred. Bob Monkhouse"

Absolute genius. RIP Bob.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
36 weeks ago

BRIDPORT

If I make you laugh, you are a twisted individual, I crack myself up daily.

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By *irthandgirthMan
36 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

I'm funnier in real life,but my humour is dark as fuck.

I've shot down a few comedians with comebacks.. and I convinced Jimmy Carr I was a deep sea welder.

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By *illan-KillashMan
36 weeks ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

"When I said I wanted to be a comedian everyone laughed.

Well they're not laughing now.

Cred. Bob Monkhouse

Absolute genius. RIP Bob. "

One of the funniest comedians I've seen. He was writing for other comedians for years before venturing out in his own right.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDs

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

5-6 simply because I’m more sarcastic than comedic

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
36 weeks ago

The Town by The Cross

Surely the listener is the judge.

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