FabSwingers.com forum: When you get sad

By *esthetic21 OP Man
36 weeks ago

Birmingham/Bristol

What do you do? Do you try to keep busy and get on with it or do you wallow in self pity? Or maybe something different? Just wondering

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By *ensuallover1000Man
36 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

PlayStation is my friend

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

18 holes and a pint

But I’m gratefully fortunate to rarely get sad/down

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

"What do you do? Do you try to keep busy and get on with it or do you wallow in self pity? Or maybe something different? Just wondering"

I clean clean clean lol but i l9ve just walking for miles in the country or a coastal walk clears the head

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
36 weeks ago

Sunderland

I lift heavy things, listen to music, walk the dog and most importantly spend time with the people I love.

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By *ot to giggleWoman
36 weeks ago

Coventry

i have had 2 days of wallowing in self pity this week .. trying to process some shit ... but now its done and today is another day and its great

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Cry.

I think we're so good at masking what we actually feel and never just feeling it, it's good to just be sad and cry sometimes.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

I let myself feel it. It’s how I feel not who I am. Having emotions is natural.

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By *estmids71Man
36 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

I usually want to be alone and sit around in silence.

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By *allandathleticMan
36 weeks ago

Asgard

I take myself away. Not just physically but mentally as well.

I blame myself. I wish things where difficult. I think of other strategies I could of used instead. I blame myself some more.

I cry.

And then I file it all away into deep dark void within myself. And hope I never have to deal with it.

Then I put on the smile of a clown and carry on.

Deep enough?

*but all very very true, I'm afraid to say.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I log into fab forums.

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By *eliWoman
36 weeks ago

I wouldn't say I wallow but I do allow myself the space to feel sad. I spent many years distracting myself or thinking that I had to not be sad. Now I'm comfortable sitting with it. It passes.

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By *allandathleticMan
36 weeks ago

Asgard

Are you OK OP?

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Herts/Beds/Lomdon

"I log into fab forums. "

I think this thread is about what you do when you’re sad, not what makes you sad. I could be wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

It all depends on what I am sad about.

If it's something that's happened completely out of my control like a family/friend passing I tent to just let it go and remember the good things and carry on.

If it was in my co trolley I give myself 20 minutes to reflect on what's happened maybe write it down, learn from it and then move on trying not to have it happen again for that reason.

But everyone is different I guess sometimes it could be down to your upbringing if that makes sense.

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By *ell GwynnWoman
36 weeks ago

North Yorkshire

I just feel sad and then it passes, as with all things. I'm not a wallower, but I don't hide from it either.

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By *mmaleiaWoman
36 weeks ago

Trowbridge

Clean, change things round in my house, go for a walk over the fields, a hot bath, bed early

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By *ltrMan
36 weeks ago

sheffield

I lock my self in my office and send threatening letters to bad payers makes me feel better

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By *2000ManMan
36 weeks ago

Worthing

Sometimes get sad thinking about family/friends no longer with us. Talking to other close family members helps and we recall the good times.

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By *stwo2023Couple
36 weeks ago

Worcester

Buy crafty shit

Evie

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By *exxyyDy11Man
36 weeks ago

Darwen

Take dog out for a long walk. Fresh air generally gives me time to think

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
36 weeks ago

Transsexual Transylvania

I cry. A lot.

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By *hocolate37Man
36 weeks ago

Heathrow

Music. Never, ever fails to bring me back.

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By *ookie46Woman
36 weeks ago

Deepest darkest Peru

Keep busy, cry if needed, talk to friends and head to the coast

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
36 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

Allow myself to feel sad.....as sad is an OK emotion to feel as well, look at the reason for feeling sad, what's the root cause....

Talk about it if needed...

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I give myself a bit of a pull up by the bootstraps and sort my shit out double quick

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I sit at the bottom of my garden with a cuppa and watch the swans and ducks. It's my happy, calm place and instantly makes me feel better

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Drive somewhere in my car and just get away from what's upsetting me usually.

Change of scene and music as I drive works wonders sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I allow myself to feel sad. When it feels the sadness is taking over my day, I start baking. For hours. It’s a bit mad but it’s something that makes me focus to crawl out of the sadness.

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By *rimal InstinctCouple
36 weeks ago

Carlisle

"What do you do? Do you try to keep busy and get on with it or do you wallow in self pity? Or maybe something different? Just wondering"

So this was me yesterday. Life being turned upside down yet always being the one who has to push forward. 'Why' questions as well, why did this happen, why didn't you say, why why why?

So yes, I let myself be sad, I let myself cry and took myself off somewhere to just be sad alone. I got to the point where the sadness was so overwhelming, I blocked everything out and couldn't remember why I was sad, just that I was and that I didn't want to pry as to reasons why again. After that I calmed down, watched the sea come in and out of the harbour and then felt calmer. I then I became distracted by others' problems and trying to help them. This is a recurring thing, so therapy will once again be my friend

So in a bit shell, cutting out all the waffle, I take myself away physically if I can, cry a lot and feel incredibly sad. I then calm and ground myself and then distract. This is recurring so I will no doubt be resuming therapy. Good luck OP on finding your coping mechanism x

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By *issBehavexxxWoman
36 weeks ago

essex

When I’m sad I have a good cry and did wallow in pity for days but I’ve learnt now that just makes me worse so I either walk or go sit by the seafront for hours watching the world go by. Or of course I come on here and read all the posts.

Now if I’m angry I clean. I really do need to get angry more often lol

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Grab anyone and get fucked.

Sex takes everything away even sadness turns to joy

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Some men have a man cave...

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By *ocksareoffMan
36 weeks ago

Out n About

Music is my medicine.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
36 weeks ago

Leeds

Usually try and distract myself and pretend I'm fine but sometimes I'm a blubbering mess.

Mrs

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By *IG G77Man
36 weeks ago

GATLEY

I start playing musical instrument

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
36 weeks ago

Leeds

Furiously masturbate to beaver porn, while crying into knickers I stole off a washing line, with Mick hucknell blasting out the stereo.

The mr

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By *ansoffateMan
36 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I think there's a qualitative difference between wallowing in self-pity and allowing yourself to feel what you feel.

Just as there's a qualitative difference between distracting yourself and being emotionally repressive.

The reason I choose to let myself feel how I feel has several aspects.

1. It builds emotional acceptance and resilience.

2. It reduces anxiety and pressure around expressing emotions as there are no unacceptable emotions.

3. My emotions are a part of who I am: sitting with them gives me a deeper understanding of myself amd therefore my ability to accurately express how I feel to others. Kind of useful in relationships.

4. It allows for greater spontaneity and immediacy, allowing me to better take responsibility for my feelings and control over my behaviours.

I find distraction to be a sticking plaster usually with short term benefits at a long-term cost. Sometimes circumstances make it necessary but I don't find it to be a healthy general principle.

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By *OYFBWoman
36 weeks ago

Jersey (sometimes Notts)

"What do you do? Do you try to keep busy and get on with it or do you wallow in self pity? Or maybe something different? Just wondering"

I go for a drive and just sit in my car for hours on end. Today, I’ve sat in my car, alone, watching the sea.

Sometimes I struggle to get myself out of the house (mentally), so doing this at least is getting me out of the house

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By *ellhungvweMan
36 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I don’t really feel sad, at least not on a regular basis. Obviously if someone dies then I will feel it but I then remember their life, the fun they had and the things they did that made people smile and I cheer up.

A psychologist will probably say I am denying something deep and existential - maybe - but life generally makes me happy. Smiling is how I deal with sadness.

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By *he turned me GreyCouple
36 weeks ago

Warwick and Coventry

"I think there's a qualitative difference between wallowing in self-pity and allowing yourself to feel what you feel.

Just as there's a qualitative difference between distracting yourself and being emotionally repressive.

The reason I choose to let myself feel how I feel has several aspects.

1. It builds emotional acceptance and resilience.

2. It reduces anxiety and pressure around expressing emotions as there are no unacceptable emotions.

4. It allows for greater spontaneity and immediacy, allowing me to better take responsibility for my feelings and control over my behaviours.

I find distraction to be a sticking plaster usually with short term benefits at a long-term cost. Sometimes circumstances make it necessary but I don't find it to be a healthy general principle."

great comment

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By *weetiepie99Woman
36 weeks ago

cardiff

I wallow, cry, talk a lot to whoever wants to listen, it dwindles a bit until next time. Then repeat.

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By *inAndTonic21Couple
36 weeks ago

Merseyside

Look at pictures of family; listen to music or go for a walk

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By *usanStoHelitWoman
36 weeks ago

liverpool

I find myself sleeping an awful lot, like 15/16 hours a day, and furiously refreshing my inbox on here in the hope of shagging someone I quite fancy rather being mildly disgusted at the contents of said inbox

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By *parkle1974Woman
36 weeks ago

Leeds

I have a good cry which makes me feel better x

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Usually comfort thoughts and things. Like an old tv show or film from when I was a kid or visit a place I know well with lots of good happy memories to remind myself of all the amazing years that brought me to where I am now and all those that will hopefully follow

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Chocolate

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By *etal and KinkMan
36 weeks ago

Malice

What is this 'sad' you're referring to? Is it a feeling? I'm aware of 'angry' and 'nothing', but not sad.

Stiff upper lip, and all that.

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

I was both sad and bitter today. Something inside is so strong it did not allow me to get tearful. Day was lovely weather wise.I should have sobbed my eyes out but on I go pushing myself to get justice

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By *wiggy2112Woman
36 weeks ago

some where in Yorkshire

"Are you OK OP?"

I was going to ask the same question

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Depnds how tough!

Takes a lot for me to cry, but I’d rather keep busy and let it pass.

Mrs x

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By *ittlebirdWoman
36 weeks ago

The Big Smoke

I try to find something to make me smile. Even just something little. Cat in a flip flop always works

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By *rientalappleCouple
36 weeks ago

Kettering

I stuffed my face with food - yes I am a comfort eater and yes, I am seeking help for that. Then I cry my eye balls out and wipe my face on my smelly bolster then I move on.When I am sad, my face shows it all and everyone feels the negative energy. Luckily, this does not happen a lot.

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By *ealMissShadyWoman
36 weeks ago

St Albans/ Welsh Borders

Driving, music on

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

Listen to Heavy Metal loudly. Fuck it shit happens it’s life!

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By *he_turtle_movesMan
36 weeks ago

york

I go a little bit forest gump and start running.

Once at the peak of my fitness I ran 50 miles had to figure out where the hell I was.

Probably not the healthiest to use exercise to self destruct but it's definitely not the worst

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By *emorefridaCouple
36 weeks ago

La la land

I try and figure out why I'm feeling so sad. If possible I try and sort it, e.g. if I'm feeling overwhelmed or someone has upset me. If I can pinpoint the source, I'll walk or dance

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By *nt1845Man
36 weeks ago

Birmingham

I’m very rarely down on life, always glass half full.

I’ve been really sad and upset for the last week though.

I got my cat fig when I left the army in may 2005.

She was 6 weeks old.

Unfortunately I had to make the horrible choice to let her slip away last week.

She’s been the one constant for me for the last 19 years and I did struggle for a few years when I left the army. Sounds silly but she was always there.

So my release is music, work and anything that makes my mind wander.

I used to be a top amateur runner so back in the day that was my release as well.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
36 weeks ago

Manchester(ish).

"Cry.

I think we're so good at masking what we actually feel and never just feeling it, it's good to just be sad and cry sometimes. "

I agree.

Sometimes you need to be able to sit with the shit feelings and process them.

Then dance, or sleep and shake them off.

Always helps to remember. This too shall pass.

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By *rAitchMan
36 weeks ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

I rarely feel sad, but the last time I was, I wrote a poem, which, a couple of years later a musician friend of mine turned it into a song.

However, he said that he had to record it in several takes, as the words resonated with an experience he had, and made him cry.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
36 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I struggle wi5h feeling sad. Unfortunately I'm one of those people who can't cry. I put ot to one side.

I wish I could cry cause the times I have I feel as though its therapeutic

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By *esthetic21 OP Man
36 weeks ago

Birmingham/Bristol

"Are you OK OP?"
I am good thanks for asking i just thought it would be an Interesting topic

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By *edeWoman
36 weeks ago

the abyss

Internalise it and try and get on with my day. Do not do this - it is not a good long-term solution!

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By (user no longer on site)
36 weeks ago

If I am just feeling a bit sad I get a man over for a fuck problem solved.

If I am feeling more than sad I a lot of crafting.

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