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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion " If I invite someone to sit down and have a brew with me, I don’t expect them to come home for dinner. Does that make sense? | |||
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"Because permission was granted for one thing it doesn't necessarily mean everything after that is a "free for all" to touch,grab and grope. Small things like a kiss,touch,cuddle usually happen altogether . Anything more intimate sexually in my mind needs full consent and a conversation before either party goes further. Just makes it better when you know what permission you have/consent and any boundaries before the sexy stuff happens. "I've been grabbed and groped numerous times over the years usually at big socials, and its shocking sometimes the morals of people when they do it with no prior permission to do so.  | |||
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"Because permission was granted for one thing it doesn't necessarily mean everything after that is a "free for all" to touch,grab and grope. Small things like a kiss,touch,cuddle usually happen altogether . Anything more intimate sexually in my mind needs full consent and a conversation before either party goes further. Just makes it better when you know what permission you have/consent and any boundaries before the sexy stuff happens.
I've been grabbed and groped numerous times over the years usually at big socials, and its shocking sometimes the morals of people when they do it with no prior permission to do so. "this | |||
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"No means no. Perfect I’m in board with that. If I have to start asking and drawing up written contracts. I’m out. I like things to feel natural. "What do you mean by that? | |||
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"if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? " Simple answer is no. If you consent to one small thing one time it should not be assumed you consent to everything that happens unless you say no. However, if things that you do not consent to are happening, you are in the right to say no. Even if you’ve said yes previously. Consent isn’t a one time and always thing. It can be yes today and no tomorrow. | |||
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"No means no. Perfect I’m in board with that. If I have to start asking and drawing up written contracts. I’m out. I like things to feel natural. "This for me too. Never felt the need to ask consent ever, or give it. It just happens naturally. | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion " I think this is a hard topic to comment on? You're going to get the do gooders who expect every step of the way to be commented on but in reality consent is fairly easy! If you don't want someone near you don't give consent to anything if you're interested in sexual exploration then grant consent? It doesn't need to be complicated? As long as you feel safe and are interested in exploring sexually then you would progress the encounter. At the end of the day consent can be given and you can still say stop or no; it's your responsibility to let the other party know you no longer wish to continue if they continue even after you've said no then you have a problem! But asking may I touch a boob, may a touch here may I stroke your belly can I eat your pussy can I do xyz seems excessive in real life. However if you say no then that's a clear boundary and it needs to be respected | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion I think this is a hard topic to comment on? You're going to get the do gooders who expect every step of the way to be commented on but in reality consent is fairly easy! If you don't want someone near you don't give consent to anything if you're interested in sexual exploration then grant consent? It doesn't need to be complicated? As long as you feel safe and are interested in exploring sexually then you would progress the encounter. At the end of the day consent can be given and you can still say stop or no; it's your responsibility to let the other party know you no longer wish to continue if they continue even after you've said no then you have a problem! But asking may I touch a boob, may a touch here may I stroke your belly can I eat your pussy can I do xyz seems excessive in real life. However if you say no then that's a clear boundary and it needs to be respected " Asking is not excessive. Consent is sexy. And it’s not fair to expect every withdrawal of consent or anyone not willingly consenting to be confident verbalising that. | |||
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"if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? Simple answer is no. If you consent to one small thing one time it should not be assumed you consent to everything that happens unless you say no. However, if things that you do not consent to are happening, you are in the right to say no. Even if you’ve said yes previously. Consent isn’t a one time and always thing. It can be yes today and no tomorrow. " so in a group of people - if you ask someone if you can do something specific , that doesnt allow you to continue to touch everything - no sexual stuff going on, or would you have to say no then because you had consented to a specific request | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion If I invite someone to sit down and have a brew with me, I don’t expect them to come home for dinner. Does that make sense? " yea sorry Fiddles - so over thinking life today  | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion I think this is a hard topic to comment on? You're going to get the do gooders who expect every step of the way to be commented on but in reality consent is fairly easy! If you don't want someone near you don't give consent to anything if you're interested in sexual exploration then grant consent? It doesn't need to be complicated? As long as you feel safe and are interested in exploring sexually then you would progress the encounter. At the end of the day consent can be given and you can still say stop or no; it's your responsibility to let the other party know you no longer wish to continue if they continue even after you've said no then you have a problem! But asking may I touch a boob, may a touch here may I stroke your belly can I eat your pussy can I do xyz seems excessive in real life. However if you say no then that's a clear boundary and it needs to be respected Asking is not excessive. Consent is sexy. And it’s not fair to expect every withdrawal of consent or anyone not willingly consenting to be confident verbalising that. " I would find what he’s listed there as excessive definitely. For me anyway. | |||
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"No means no. Perfect I’m in board with that. If I have to start asking and drawing up written contracts. I’m out. I like things to feel natural.
This for me too. Never felt the need to ask consent ever, or give it. It just happens naturally. "Somebody moans of pleasure is a good enough answer.  | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion I think this is a hard topic to comment on? You're going to get the do gooders who expect every step of the way to be commented on but in reality consent is fairly easy! If you don't want someone near you don't give consent to anything if you're interested in sexual exploration then grant consent? It doesn't need to be complicated? As long as you feel safe and are interested in exploring sexually then you would progress the encounter. At the end of the day consent can be given and you can still say stop or no; it's your responsibility to let the other party know you no longer wish to continue if they continue even after you've said no then you have a problem! But asking may I touch a boob, may a touch here may I stroke your belly can I eat your pussy can I do xyz seems excessive in real life. However if you say no then that's a clear boundary and it needs to be respected Asking is not excessive. Consent is sexy. And it’s not fair to expect every withdrawal of consent or anyone not willingly consenting to be confident verbalising that. I would find what he’s listed there as excessive definitely. For me anyway. " asking or being asked things isn’t imo. You don’t have to every time. But there are times when it’s right to ask. ‘Is this ok?’ For example. Or you might ask if you can touch them somewhere. That is part of things happening naturally. Being aware of the other person. | |||
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"No means no. Perfect I’m in board with that. If I have to start asking and drawing up written contracts. I’m out. I like things to feel natural.
This for me too. Never felt the need to ask consent ever, or give it. It just happens naturally.
Somebody moans of pleasure is a good enough answer. " think single one on one situations easy or easier | |||
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"No. Consent is ongoing. It is not just a one time thing. And it can be withdrawn at any point. " This  | |||
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"if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? Simple answer is no. If you consent to one small thing one time it should not be assumed you consent to everything that happens unless you say no. However, if things that you do not consent to are happening, you are in the right to say no. Even if you’ve said yes previously. Consent isn’t a one time and always thing. It can be yes today and no tomorrow. so in a group of people - if you ask someone if you can do something specific , that doesnt allow you to continue to touch everything - no sexual stuff going on, or would you have to say no then because you had consented to a specific request" In a group of people, if boundaries have not been specified already, yes consent would be only to a specific request and not to continue further. Additionally, if you’ve consented to John touching your bum it doesn’t mean you’re consenting to have your bum touched by the entire group. | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion " I think I can see what you are saying. It's tricky to put in words and may partially depend if you are a passive, or active participant (reciprocating) in the situation. In the scenario you described, (assuming there was a build up to consensual stroking of your cleavage) it *could* be assumed that level of intimacy is OK and anything on that level is acceptable to you (touching over clothes etc) but going further (more intimate) would require a verbal or non-verbal cue/affirmation from yourself to continue. Obviously any refusal or retraction of any consent, licit or not must be heeded. | |||
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" I've been grabbed and groped numerous times over the years usually at big socials, and its shocking sometimes the morals of people when they do it with no prior permission to do so. "Very relatable. The amount of times we’ve been in clubs and chatting at the bar or in a group and the male half of a couple has touched Mrs A without asking is quite shocking. Last time we visited a club we had it with the female side of a couple. We’d been chatting for a while in the bar area and then said we would all go for a wander around the club together. At this point we made it clear that we don’t interact physically with other couples, but love being watched and fucking in a room full of others. There was an actual clear conversation about it. We then walk around the club with these people, go into the large group room and within 30seconds, the female of the couple comes up behind Mrs A and starts kissing her neck. Not happy. We left immediately, but it ruined our night. We know that single guys get a bad rep on this site, but we’ve found them to be far more respectful, less insistent and expectant than couples in general. | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion I think I can see what you are saying. It's tricky to put in words and may partially depend if you are a passive, or active participant (reciprocating) in the situation. In the scenario you described, (assuming there was a build up to consensual stroking of your cleavage) it *could* be assumed that level of intimacy is OK and anything on that level is acceptable to you (touching over clothes etc) but going further (more intimate) would require a verbal or non-verbal cue/affirmation from yourself to continue. Obviously any refusal or retraction of any consent, licit or not must be heeded." so if i said to Fred, (sorry Fred), wow nice biceps, can i feel - i can keep touching his biceps all night until he says - leave my bloody biceps alone?? | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion I think I can see what you are saying. It's tricky to put in words and may partially depend if you are a passive, or active participant (reciprocating) in the situation. In the scenario you described, (assuming there was a build up to consensual stroking of your cleavage) it *could* be assumed that level of intimacy is OK and anything on that level is acceptable to you (touching over clothes etc) but going further (more intimate) would require a verbal or non-verbal cue/affirmation from yourself to continue. Obviously any refusal or retraction of any consent, licit or not must be heeded. so if i said to Fred, (sorry Fred), wow nice biceps, can i feel - i can keep touching his biceps all night until he says - leave my bloody biceps alone??" That would be Fred being a passive party, rather than an active participant which may alter the dynamics so I would say possibly not. | |||
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"I once consented to entering an hotel room with a woman. I consented to her touching my face. I didn't give consent for her to punch me in the face and yet she did. I consented to her touching or playing with my genitals. I didn't consent to having her knee driven into my balls and yet it was as part of her unspoken kink. I've always said that consent involves clear communication and boundaries and in the extreme case I've mentioned there were neither where she was concerned. At the same time I've never given permission for anyone to grope my arse or fondle me at group socials or even just when I'm going about my job in bars and hotels and yet they have done and told me I should be flattered. If the roles were reversed I've no doubt I would have been reported. Unfortunately there are too many people who believe that the principle of consent doesn't apply to them because of their standing in the "community"and the circles they swing in. " that sense of entitlement - you should be flattered - is a bloody cop out really is. Heard it used so many times, or your an attractive person you should expect this kind of attention -  | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion I think I can see what you are saying. It's tricky to put in words and may partially depend if you are a passive, or active participant (reciprocating) in the situation. In the scenario you described, (assuming there was a build up to consensual stroking of your cleavage) it *could* be assumed that level of intimacy is OK and anything on that level is acceptable to you (touching over clothes etc) but going further (more intimate) would require a verbal or non-verbal cue/affirmation from yourself to continue. Obviously any refusal or retraction of any consent, licit or not must be heeded. so if i said to Fred, (sorry Fred), wow nice biceps, can i feel - i can keep touching his biceps all night until he says - leave my bloody biceps alone?? That would be Fred being a passive party, rather than an active participant which may alter the dynamics so I would say possibly not." thanks | |||
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"There is no dilemma. Consent is like money. You know when you’ve got it and you sure know when you don’t. " love this metaphor | |||
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"Absolutely not but if i had to consent to every little thing it drive me nuts. So maybe an agreed end point. " yea agree with that - but this scenario hadnt even got that far! | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion " I’d have thought No. Sort of the okay given to touch cleavage but that doesn’t mean the rest is for the taking. Might just be me? | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion I think I can see what you are saying. It's tricky to put in words and may partially depend if you are a passive, or active participant (reciprocating) in the situation. In the scenario you described, (assuming there was a build up to consensual stroking of your cleavage) it *could* be assumed that level of intimacy is OK and anything on that level is acceptable to you (touching over clothes etc) but going further (more intimate) would require a verbal or non-verbal cue/affirmation from yourself to continue. Obviously any refusal or retraction of any consent, licit or not must be heeded. so if i said to Fred, (sorry Fred), wow nice biceps, can i feel - i can keep touching his biceps all night until he says - leave my bloody biceps alone??" exactly my biceps are a no go area | |||
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"Because permission was granted for one thing it doesn't necessarily mean everything after that is a "free for all" to touch,grab and grope. Small things like a kiss,touch,cuddle usually happen altogether . Anything more intimate sexually in my mind needs full consent and a conversation before either party goes further. Just makes it better when you know what permission you have/consent and any boundaries before the sexy stuff happens.
I've been grabbed and groped numerous times over the years usually at big socials, and its shocking sometimes the morals of people when they do it with no prior permission to do so. "Same I had one creep walking behind me stick his hand up my skirt and grabbed my vag - who the fuck does that. Some people need the consent message slapping into them. Or wait for the "it's your fault for wearing a skirt" 
Mrs | |||
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"No means no. Perfect I’m in board with that. If I have to start asking and drawing up written contracts. I’m out. I like things to feel natural.
This for me too. Never felt the need to ask consent ever, or give it. It just happens naturally.
Somebody moans of pleasure is a good enough answer.
think single one on one situations easy or easier"Also with more than just two. All I’m saying is I’d rather just roll with it, no mater how many people in trying to climb on. .. just kick me off.  | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion I think I can see what you are saying. It's tricky to put in words and may partially depend if you are a passive, or active participant (reciprocating) in the situation. In the scenario you described, (assuming there was a build up to consensual stroking of your cleavage) it *could* be assumed that level of intimacy is OK and anything on that level is acceptable to you (touching over clothes etc) but going further (more intimate) would require a verbal or non-verbal cue/affirmation from yourself to continue. Obviously any refusal or retraction of any consent, licit or not must be heeded. so if i said to Fred, (sorry Fred), wow nice biceps, can i feel - i can keep touching his biceps all night until he says - leave my bloody biceps alone??exactly my biceps are a no go area "what about the shorts ?? | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion I think I can see what you are saying. It's tricky to put in words and may partially depend if you are a passive, or active participant (reciprocating) in the situation. In the scenario you described, (assuming there was a build up to consensual stroking of your cleavage) it *could* be assumed that level of intimacy is OK and anything on that level is acceptable to you (touching over clothes etc) but going further (more intimate) would require a verbal or non-verbal cue/affirmation from yourself to continue. Obviously any refusal or retraction of any consent, licit or not must be heeded. so if i said to Fred, (sorry Fred), wow nice biceps, can i feel - i can keep touching his biceps all night until he says - leave my bloody biceps alone??exactly my biceps are a no go area
what about the shorts ?? "omg you called them shorts they are in the drawer i have many pairs of shorts and you can touch them | |||
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"No means no. Perfect I’m in board with that. If I have to start asking and drawing up written contracts. I’m out. I like things to feel natural. "
I've never been in a situation where I've had to ask it, A simple not there or a move of a hand has been enough,
Interestingly I've never been asked to give consent
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"I don't believe consent should be considered to be given just because you say yes to one small thing. While yes things can happen naturally with someone and it's grand. But it's when someone takes liberties and just think a small yes means yes to everything is where I see the issues. I met someone from here for a social and we got on well enough and said we would meet again. We walked back to our cars and had a kiss. He then grabbed me and pinned me down and started tearing at my clothes. I managed to get a hand free and got him off me and yelled at him wtf did he think he was doing. His reply was I was on fab so he thought I would be up for it. Those are the times where consent especially matters and just because someone wants to take things farther and rougher etc consent should be given and not taken for granted. Too many don't seem to understand that and it's not gender specific either. " i hope your ok - that sentence about being on fab - im crying as i am typing this - its not acceptable - males or females, gender is not important - what you are doing to someone else is - xx | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion " Nobody in my mind can touch me if no consent is given. Consent means on everything it be classified as groping | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion " Probably been said by others on thread but if consent given to do one thing that doesn’t mean consent to everything else  | |||
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"No means no. Perfect I’m in board with that. If I have to start asking and drawing up written contracts. I’m out. I like things to feel natural.
This for me too. Never felt the need to ask consent ever, or give it. It just happens naturally.
Somebody moans of pleasure is a good enough answer.
think single one on one situations easy or easier
Also with more than just two. All I’m saying is I’d rather just roll with it, no mater how many people in trying to climb on. .. just kick me off. "I've had my boundaries violated more times than I care to remember. I'm sure all of those men thought that they were just doing what felt "natural" and "rolling with it" too. | |||
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"No means no. Perfect I’m in board with that. If I have to start asking and drawing up written contracts. I’m out. I like things to feel natural.
This for me too. Never felt the need to ask consent ever, or give it. It just happens naturally.
Somebody moans of pleasure is a good enough answer.
think single one on one situations easy or easier
Also with more than just two. All I’m saying is I’d rather just roll with it, no mater how many people in trying to climb on. .. just kick me off.
I've had my boundaries violated more times than I care to remember. I'm sure all of those men thought that they were just doing what felt "natural" and "rolling with it" too." | |||
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"I don't believe consent should be considered to be given just because you say yes to one small thing. While yes things can happen naturally with someone and it's grand. But it's when someone takes liberties and just think a small yes means yes to everything is where I see the issues. I met someone from here for a social and we got on well enough and said we would meet again. We walked back to our cars and had a kiss. He then grabbed me and pinned me down and started tearing at my clothes. I managed to get a hand free and got him off me and yelled at him wtf did he think he was doing. His reply was I was on fab so he thought I would be up for it. Those are the times where consent especially matters and just because someone wants to take things farther and rougher etc consent should be given and not taken for granted. Too many don't seem to understand that and it's not gender specific either. i hope your ok - that sentence about being on fab - im crying as i am typing this - its not acceptable - males or females, gender is not important - what you are doing to someone else is - xx" Don't be upset it happened a long time ago and while yes it upset me at the time and I almost left fab I've met amazing people since including one person who makes up for all the crap and is a genuine great friend as well as more. There will always be assholes unfortunately and it taught me a lesson to never go to my car with someone again and to talk to someone for longer he's the only person I met within 48 hours and I won't make that mistake again . | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion " Instead of setting 'yes consent', set 'no' limits. Then there's a line not to be crossed rather than an increase in unplanned shenanigans | |||
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"Personally I would find it a bit excessive and off putting if someone asked for consent every single step of the way, with every touch. I think it’s important to get verbal consent for any initial physical contact and again when it gets more intimate. Beyond that, I would rather they were tuned in to my body language and check in in a way that feels more natural. I would rather have a sexy and subtle ‘does this feel good?’ ‘do you like that?’ " I agree about this being excessive and completely unnatural and I would rather not have sex than have to follow a check list. That isn't me ignoring boundaries or consent. In fact it's the exact opposite because I'm very intuitive and instinctual and by the time I get naked with someone I already known them pretty well. Equally as important, they know me and are comfortable in my presence and trust my touch without having a conversation about it. I would go so far as to say that in the years I've been on fab, one of the biggest turn offs that women have discussed is having to give continuous instructions. | |||
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"Personally I would find it a bit excessive and off putting if someone asked for consent every single step of the way, with every touch. I think it’s important to get verbal consent for any initial physical contact and again when it gets more intimate. Beyond that, I would rather they were tuned in to my body language and check in in a way that feels more natural. I would rather have a sexy and subtle ‘does this feel good?’ ‘do you like that?’ I agree about this being excessive and completely unnatural and I would rather not have sex than have to follow a check list. That isn't me ignoring boundaries or consent. In fact it's the exact opposite because I'm very intuitive and instinctual and by the time I get naked with someone I already known them pretty well. Equally as important, they know me and are comfortable in my presence and trust my touch without having a conversation about it. I would go so far as to say that in the years I've been on fab, one of the biggest turn offs that women have discussed is having to give continuous instructions." Yep, consent doesn't have to be verbal after all. Excessive questioning would kill any kind of mood for me. | |||
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"No not at all. Consent is fluid. Agreeing to one thing doesn’t mean you agree to everything, PLUS you have the right to change your mind at any time! " This is why you should fully get to know someone first. Their likes/dislikes. Even if someone is curious about a particular act, it’s doesn’t mean they want to do it | |||
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"Ok you lovely people can you help me with something i have been trying to process all day. Consent - we are a huge consent is give culture and no means no - however, if you consent to a small thing - does that automatically mean that you have consented to everything that happens going forward from that moment until you expressly say no? Ok the small thing maybe stroking a cleavage that fascinated you. So then any further 'touching' should be acceptable because that one request was granted??? please no majorly negative comments - do the scroll on by thing if you have another opinion " I hope you are ok? There are always those who push it, think that 'no' means 'keep going' no can't mean no to them Consent can be given but also withdrawn at any time I thought we had pre agreed a boundary, but in the moment he ignored the boundary, I told him no, he didn't stop....Police intervention and now the reason I only meet new partners in clubs | |||
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"thank you for your input into this thread - and i totally agree about consent to every step of the way would kill everything …… I feel perhaps some of the language used has to be changed, to imply that because your on fab your 'up for it' is not acceptable. ….." Absolutely. | |||
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