FabSwingers.com forum: Wasting your life

By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple
23 weeks ago

North West

Do you ever feel like you're wasting your life? That it's speeding on without you? I feel like a passenger on a high speed train that I don't know the destination for.

That's today's happy thought anyway.

Over and out.

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By *oeBeansMan
23 weeks ago

Derby

Yes, but I'd rather not open that can of worms

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

I did but once you set goals and focus on your own happiness, that mindset is easily changed.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Yes!

I don’t know if I’m going through some quarter life crisis or not. I feel like there’s still lots of things i should have experienced by now that I haven’t.

Like, there has to be more to life than doing the same shit day in day out. I’m missing out on something, i just haven’t figured out what that is yet. God, I’m depressed now. Thanks, MrsKC

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
23 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

I've never been good at the big goals and needing a destination thing.

I'm happy to just be along for the ride

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By *illy IdolMan
23 weeks ago

Midlands

"Yes!

I don’t know if I’m going through some quarter life crisis or not. I feel like there’s still lots of things i should have experienced by now that I haven’t.

Like, there has to be more to life than doing the same shit day in day out. I’m missing out on something, i just haven’t figured out what that is yet. God, I’m depressed now. Thanks, MrsKC

https://m.fabswingers.com/profile/willy_idol

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

"Yes!

I don’t know if I’m going through some quarter life crisis or not. I feel like there’s still lots of things i should have experienced by now that I haven’t.

Like, there has to be more to life than doing the same shit day in day out. I’m missing out on something, i just haven’t figured out what that is yet. God, I’m depressed now. Thanks, MrsKC

https://m.fabswingers.com/profile/willy_idol

The answer to all my problems

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By *ros40Man
23 weeks ago

Bedford

There is many ways to live life

Have fun because we all die in the end

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By *eroLondonMan
23 weeks ago

Mayfair

Yes, sometimes, and that's probably to do with my advancing years and having a cellar full of vintage memories, reminisces and experiences, or lack of (sort of). I have no goals other than the expectation of having goals. For now I just need to really enjoy and savour the moments of each passing day.

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By *illy IdolMan
23 weeks ago

Midlands

"Yes!

I don’t know if I’m going through some quarter life crisis or not. I feel like there’s still lots of things i should have experienced by now that I haven’t.

Like, there has to be more to life than doing the same shit day in day out. I’m missing out on something, i just haven’t figured out what that is yet. God, I’m depressed now. Thanks, MrsKC

https://m.fabswingers.com/profile/willy_idol

The answer to all my problems

Food for thought

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
23 weeks ago

Reading

Yes i do as im counting down to retirement at this point. I endure my job.

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By *mber SkiesWoman
23 weeks ago

Cardiff-ish

"There is many ways to live life

Have fun because we all die in the end

"
I need this saying on my fridge to remind me every day

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By *emonbuttercreamWoman
23 weeks ago

Birmingham

Eh, sometimes I get that feeling if nothing exciting is happening but mostly I try to make the most out of every day and realistically I know that I am doing the best that I can. I try to meet up with friends, plan exciting weekends, get outdoors each day to appreciate the world and do as much good as I can day to day.

I remember at one point between ages 17 to 23 I genuinely was wasting my life away. I was rotting inside all day, doing nothing but seeing the same four walls for years. I was so mentally unwell I couldn't do a single thing. I am soooooo grateful I am better now.

I think it is normal to sometimes feel like life is slipping by and nothing is happening. But are you sure your mind isn't playing tricks on you? I know you work right? You teach yes? You are a mother and you strike me as someone who isn't wasting her life at all. I've not been on here properly for four or five months but you have never seemed the type to waste your life. What would make you feel better?

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By *eliWoman
23 weeks ago

I have done before. Things can become hectic and I find that I'd quite to like racoon in a duvet, undisturbed. Those moments though? They don't last for ever.

I remember the gift it is to be alive. To have one more kiss with someone I like. Getting muddy traipsing through woods in unsuitable footwear foraging for a meal I'll make for loved ones. To sit and be and have that perfectly made drink and stop. Take it in.

When I was mentally drained earlier this year I decided I was going to start doing those things I've always wanted to. Solo travelling. Seeing more.

I don't think life is about the destination, not really. It's about those moments that lead to where you end up, the people who leave a mark on your soul, those little moments of happiness.

I hope you find them again Mrs KC, x

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By *emonbuttercreamWoman
23 weeks ago

Birmingham

"I have done before. Things can become hectic and I find that I'd quite to like racoon in a duvet, undisturbed. Those moments though? They don't last for ever.

When I was mentally drained earlier this year I decided I was going to start doing those things I've always wanted to. Solo travelling. Seeing more.

I don't think life is about the destination, not really. It's about those moments that lead to where you end up, the people who leave a mark on your soul, those little moments of happiness.

I hope you find them again Mrs KC, x"

I love this.

I've learned so much over the last few years after experiencing so much heartbreak.

The small things in life are really the big things that make it all worthwhile.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple
23 weeks ago

North West

"Yes!

I don’t know if I’m going through some quarter life crisis or not. I feel like there’s still lots of things i should have experienced by now that I haven’t.

Like, there has to be more to life than doing the same shit day in day out. I’m missing out on something, i just haven’t figured out what that is yet. God, I’m depressed now. Thanks, MrsKC

You're welcome. Alway, your humble servant

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By *ot to giggleWoman
23 weeks ago

Coventry

I saw somewhere someone said we should celebrate getting older because not everyone has the opportunity to do this.

Some days i feel i have done nothing and squandered my time. Times like this week I have to do nothing because I am waiting for a temporary job to start, two weeks later than they said it would and interviewing possibly for a few perm jobs, so doing anything is a non starter as i need to conserve my finances as I am not sure when my next pay day it.

I remind myself that I need to do it now, who knows where tomorrow will take us.

I think there should be a mental health thread/forum where people can go and talk about things that are not perfect. I try to keep fab for my escape times and to have fun away from the real crap stuff.

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By *eliWoman
23 weeks ago

"I have done before. Things can become hectic and I find that I'd quite to like racoon in a duvet, undisturbed. Those moments though? They don't last for ever.

When I was mentally drained earlier this year I decided I was going to start doing those things I've always wanted to. Solo travelling. Seeing more.

I don't think life is about the destination, not really. It's about those moments that lead to where you end up, the people who leave a mark on your soul, those little moments of happiness.

I hope you find them again Mrs KC, x

I love this.

I've learned so much over the last few years after experiencing so much heartbreak.

The small things in life are really the big things that make it all worthwhile.

Ah Lemon.

That's exactly where I'm at. A lot of heartbreak over the past four years. Some very recently. It's given me a renewed desire to live and to say yes. To appreciate it more. Sure, sometimes I'm rather grumpy and pedantic and tired. Emotionally tired. It always passes.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Yes, and it's alright to feel that way, life can quickly take a sudden turn for the better and it replenishes that sense of purpose in life

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By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple
23 weeks ago

North West

"I saw somewhere someone said we should celebrate getting older because not everyone has the opportunity to do this.

I remind myself that I need to do it now, who knows where tomorrow will take us.

Sorry for bringing my shite to the Lounge. I just needed an outlet.

I'll explain more in a bit.

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By *emonbuttercreamWoman
23 weeks ago

Birmingham

"I have done before. Things can become hectic and I find that I'd quite to like racoon in a duvet, undisturbed. Those moments though? They don't last for ever.

When I was mentally drained earlier this year I decided I was going to start doing those things I've always wanted to. Solo travelling. Seeing more.

I don't think life is about the destination, not really. It's about those moments that lead to where you end up, the people who leave a mark on your soul, those little moments of happiness.

I hope you find them again Mrs KC, x

I love this.

I've learned so much over the last few years after experiencing so much heartbreak.

The small things in life are really the big things that make it all worthwhile.

Ah Lemon.

Going through heartbreak can make such a difference to how you see the world. Sending you hugs.

And KC don't be sorry for coming on here to vent. You have every right to be able to express how you're feeling right now. I hope you're OK. X

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
23 weeks ago

Leeds

Yes, I'm currently in this situation - I work from home some weeks I have no adult interaction other than the family in my house, it can feel like a prison at times - we are quite rural and getting out and about isn't always easy.

It's rare I get time to myself to do anything and when I do I'm limited in where I can go and what I can do.

Life at the moment is very...

Meh!

I'm trying my best to change things but nothing seems to work, I feel like I'm stuck in a horrible vicious cycle that's never ending.

I do appreciate what I have dont get me wrong but life is hard, I miss going out to work, having that social life that comes with it.

I don't really know who I am anymore which is a horrible feeling, I feel like I'm not good enough for anything or anyone and life has become a chore. I want to be me again and enjoy life but I don't know how.

Mrs

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By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple
23 weeks ago

North West

"Yes, I'm currently in this situation - I work from home some weeks I have no adult interaction other than the family in my house, it can feel like a prison at times - we are quite rural and getting out and about isn't always easy.

It's rare I get time to myself to do anything and when I do I'm limited in where I can go and what I can do.

Life at the moment is very...

Meh!

I'm trying my best to change things but nothing seems to work, I feel like I'm stuck in a horrible vicious cycle that's never ending.

I do appreciate what I have dont get me wrong but life is hard, I miss going out to work, having that social life that comes with it.

Mrs

That last paragraph really speak to me, Mrs K. I'm sorry you feel like that

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

"Yes!

I don’t know if I’m going through some quarter life crisis or not. I feel like there’s still lots of things i should have experienced by now that I haven’t.

Like, there has to be more to life than doing the same shit day in day out. I’m missing out on something, i just haven’t figured out what that is yet. God, I’m depressed now. Thanks, MrsKC

You're welcome. Alway, your humble servant

I do hope you start feeling a little better and find a way to enjoy life again

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Literally this is me most days.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
23 weeks ago

Herts

Elizabeth I described her life as being simply a lot of little rooms. Despite al the drama and danger of her life it all came down to small interactions set against the big events happening around her. We lose sight of the fact that these small rooms are what life ultimately is. Think less of ourselves as islands entire of ourselves, we are not remote from the main, we are part of it and our absence diminishes it. Even if we don’t see it made less.

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By *OYFBWoman
23 weeks ago

Jersey (sometimes Notts)

"Do you ever feel like you're wasting your life? That it's speeding on without you? I feel like a passenger on a high speed train that I don't know the destination for.

That's today's happy thought anyway.

Over and out. "

In a way, yes.

I feel more like my life has no meaning, direction, goals, quite apathetic about it all.

I’m not going to change the world, I’ve not contributed to the continuation of the human species, I am insignificant. The presence or absence of my life is inconsequential.

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By *escourtesMan
23 weeks ago

hereford

ive got a brain the size of a planet...and all i do is post messages in fab forums...

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By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple
23 weeks ago

North West

Sooooooooo. This might be long, sorry.

I've been waiting for gynaecology surgery for several years and believed I'd actually been placed on a waiting list in March 2023. However, I found out today that for the whole of the past 13-14 months, I've actually NOT been on the waiting list. They require me to see a specialist consultant before proceeding and it's THEM I've been waiting for. In the meantime, I've been using a hormone blocking drug to stop my menstrual cycle. The side effects are bone thinning and potential heart health issues, plus the rollercoaster of menopause symptoms.

I've been on the meds since Jan 2023 and it's not usual to use them for more than a year for gynae issues. But they let me have another in April on the understanding I must be getting close to the top of this waiting list. I'm not. My bone density scan results have been lost so I don't know the impact on my bones. Being a wheelchair user increases that risk.

We've avoided making big plans, holidays, commitments that can't be cancelled since March last year, largely, in case I got called for surgery but that was pointless. We could have done stuff.

I want to change jobs but still owe my employer £4500 for my wheelchair because Access to Work is a joke, as are NHS wheelchair services. Basically, if I leave the company, I'd have to pay that before settling my final wages etc. There's no route for promotion in my current role. I've been doing it since 2016 and I'm ambitious. I want to earn more and do something different. But I can't.

The theme tying together and the thing that hinders me doing things I want to do (or makes them much harder/more expensive) is disability.

I'm sick of it.

And to cap it off, I managed to slice my palm near the thumb joint this morning. I bled all over my (cream) jumper and M&S Mum jeans. I've had to clean it all up, get changed and scrub the blood out.

I'm supposed to be starting WFH but have zero motivation today. None.

Thank you for reading.

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By *aters139Man
23 weeks ago

Sheffield

"Sooooooooo. This might be long, sorry.

We've avoided making big plans, holidays, commitments that can't be cancelled since March last year, largely, in case I got called for surgery but that was pointless. We could have done stuff.

The theme tying together and the thing that hinders me doing things I want to do (or makes them much harder/more expensive) is disability.

I'm sick of it.

And to cap it off, I managed to slice my palm near the thumb joint this morning. I bled all over my (cream) jumper and M&S Mum jeans. I've had to clean it all up, get changed and scrub the blood out.

I'm supposed to be starting WFH but have zero motivation today. None.

Thank you for reading. "

Your health situation sounds like the ex's. She managed to get a cancellation for surgery and was in within 2\3months after they decided of two years and the same drugs as you that it was needed.

The bone thing has cause few issues with injuries from work etc.

For the work\money thing, I don't know your employer, but I know some will arrange a repayment plan of you do owe money. And if it's honestly that bad, I'd look at cash transfer credit card \ free for x months, to take the hit and get you outta there.

I know it's shit but don't give up hope and definitely don't avoid making plans, you can't live your life waiting for the surgery\to get out of work etc.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple
23 weeks ago

North West

The further risk of moving employers is that my current AtW would be stopped and if any new employment required AtW to make adjustments, they are taking well over a year to even look at cases. It makes moving employer very risky. I feel like I'm indentured to the one employer. Again, due to disability.

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By *lue RascalMan
23 weeks ago

Cheshire Liverpool Manchester

"I saw somewhere someone said we should celebrate getting older because not everyone has the opportunity to do this."

I like this. The days I spend rotting on the sofa binge watching episodes of Four In A Bed could be spent better of course. But yeah like others have said I still appreciate being here for the ride. Even on the wasted lazy days.

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By *nnCeeWoman
23 weeks ago

East of Eden, West of Hell

"Do you ever feel like you're wasting your life? That it's speeding on without you? I feel like a passenger on a high speed train that I don't know the destination for.

That's today's happy thought anyway.

Over and out. "

Absolutely.

I know my mental health has taken an absolute nosedive recently and I know I should possibly do something about it, but I'm just too 'meh' at the moment to do so.

I did something for myself last year which I thought was going to bring me to a better place. I'm 2/3-3/4 to where I wanted/hoped to be, but have floundered, and am doing all the things I managed to stop doing, which is preventing me from getting closer to my goal. I also thought that the change was going to make me happy. Turns out it hasn't really, although I'm very grateful I'm 9 stone lighter than I was. But my head is still broken and is the thing I need to work on again.

I'm stuck in my role at work, I'm not progressing because I'm not ticking their boxes/jumping through their hoops. I've tried to move internally, but not got anywhere, and if I were to leave and go elsewhere I'm sure that would be fine, but I have no idea what I want to do.

I guess I just need to give my head a damned good wobble.

Sorry to hear you feel so stuck too, Mrs KC. The world is supposed to be more accessible and friendly for all, but sometimes it really doesn't feel like it xx

Sending hugs xx

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By *ot to giggleWoman
23 weeks ago

Coventry

"I saw somewhere someone said we should celebrate getting older because not everyone has the opportunity to do this.

I remind myself that I need to do it now, who knows where tomorrow will take us.

Sorry for bringing my shite to the Lounge. I just needed an outlet.

I'll explain more in a bit. "

Hey if you cant share here where can you ... your very welcome to share as much or as little as you need, no judgement from me xxx

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By *ellhungvweMan
23 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I feel like I am living the life I want to live. It has been a bumpy journey but I have been able to get myself to a place where I am not financially beholden to anyone else which gives me a freedom that many others don’t have.

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By *rill PhilMan
23 weeks ago

Crediton

No. I don't feel like I'm wasting my life.

I feel like I've wasted it.

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By *esthetic21Man
23 weeks ago

Birmingham/Bristol

I feeling I've wasted the past 10 years to be fair

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By *ad NannaWoman
23 weeks ago

East London

All the time.

I feel I should have done much more to help others and achieved more for myself.

We aren't always in control of our lives; regardless of what some people say.

I could have made decisions that would have given me a totally different life; but a selfish one.

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By *ad NannaWoman
23 weeks ago

East London

I feel I wasted decades on a marriage that was never going to work, and I mentally berate myself for not leaving sooner.

A close relative of mine didn't have much of a life, through being severely disabled, and I feel guilt that I had the life she should have had and I blew it.

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By *BWLOVER1965Man
23 weeks ago

My Own Little World

I have two fantastic daughters and four lovely grand sons so no don’t think wasted my life as such since my wife passed do seem to floated along a bit

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By *educing_EmCouple
23 weeks ago

Tipperary

I sometimes feel like this too Mrs KC, I hope you feel more positive soon

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
23 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

"Sooooooooo. This might be long, sorry.

We've avoided making big plans, holidays, commitments that can't be cancelled since March last year, largely, in case I got called for surgery but that was pointless. We could have done stuff.

The theme tying together and the thing that hinders me doing things I want to do (or makes them much harder/more expensive) is disability.

I'm sick of it.

And to cap it off, I managed to slice my palm near the thumb joint this morning. I bled all over my (cream) jumper and M&S Mum jeans. I've had to clean it all up, get changed and scrub the blood out.

I'm supposed to be starting WFH but have zero motivation today. None.

Thank you for reading. "

That really is just a whole pile of shite with one thing on top of another. No wonder you're feeling fed up and frustrated. Huge hugs and I would do the absolute bare minimum today. Or even take it as a sick day as you're injured.

Jxx

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By *rucking-HellMan
23 weeks ago

Northampton

I believe no matter what you do, nothing is wasted. There's experiences and lessons to be learnt from every moment. Even those times when you lie in bed all day and do nothing, bored.

Though I've not "achieved" this or that, the simple experience of being alive for me is not wasteful in any sense. This is because I've put meaning onto all my life experience, even the much less productive parts.

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By *ellinever70Woman
23 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I can sometimes feel like I've wasted a day, but not that I'm wasting my life.

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By *herryEatersCouple
23 weeks ago

East Cheshire

"Do you ever feel like you're wasting your life? That it's speeding on without you? I feel like a passenger on a high speed train that I don't know the destination for.

That's today's happy thought anyway.

Over and out. "

No. Life is for living and loving

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

"I can sometimes feel like I've wasted a day, but not that I'm wasting my life.

I agree with this when days go past it feels like shit could of got this n that done n now its gone. Moat of time i be thinking all this whilst showering

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Wasted time is often the best time. If you’re 100% on life all the time then there are no quiet bits to allow you appreciate it

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By *inky_couple2020 OP Couple
23 weeks ago

North West

Jxx"

I can't afford a sick day, however much I'd like to go to bed! I got started. I've done some tedious admin. Pootling along.

Thank you

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