FabSwingers.com forum: Porn Ponderings

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
46 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Ow do good folks

Why do so many guys in porn utter, ‘Oh shit!’ when they cum?

Surely, it was the desired result after all….?

Anyhoo, your similar porn ponderings on this fine evening my fine people?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illy IdolMan
46 weeks ago

Midlands

Why are all the step sisters so nasty to their step brothers to begin with?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
46 weeks ago

Why do so many women end up stuck in furniture/windows/lifts?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

What percentage of their income do the women have spend on physiotherapy after filming?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
46 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Plumbers are always punctual but never actually complete the job they were called in for.

This is odd. In my experience they never turn up in the first place.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *etal and KinkMan
46 weeks ago

Malice

Why is a gagging sound now a sex noise?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *emidemiWoman
46 weeks ago

basingstoke

Why are there so many horny MILFs in my local area?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *illy IdolMan
46 weeks ago

Midlands

"Plumbers are always punctual but never actually complete the job they were called in for.

This is odd. In my experience they never turn up in the first place."

If you looked like the women on there, they might well turn up

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *CLM87Woman
46 weeks ago

Derbyshire

"Plumbers are always punctual but never actually complete the job they were called in for.

This is odd. In my experience they never turn up in the first place."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ot to giggleWoman
46 weeks ago

Coventry

why do the women wear that silly smile and have perfect hair

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
46 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

It is apparently customary to slap ones cock against a ladies vagina a few times before entering; like knocking on a door I suppose…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *EAT..85Woman
46 weeks ago

Nottingham

Why god gets serenaded so much when it's Roger or Derek or John doing all of the work...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rowley616Man
46 weeks ago

Scarborough

Why did my mom never show me how to please a woman.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ife NinjaMan
46 weeks ago

Dunfermline

I use to mutter 'oh fuck'.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
46 weeks ago

kent

"Why do so many women end up stuck in furniture/windows/lifts?"

There is a correlation between being horny and being clumsy x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ugehandsMan
46 weeks ago

Fife/ Newcastle

Why do so many step mums feel the need to fuck their step children?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Why, when a woman is being fucked over a sofa, does the man not stand directly behind her but at an angle?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ags73Man
46 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Why are all the step sisters so nasty to their step brothers to begin with?"

Wow, straight to the main issues.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ongandharderMan
46 weeks ago

Rotherham

[Removed by poster at 24/04/24 21:29:56]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she has done something wrong.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ongandharderMan
46 weeks ago

Rotherham

Why don't they have engaging story lines. Like they set up the narrative and always ends in suck fuck cum

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ongandharderMan
46 weeks ago

Rotherham

"Why don't they have engaging story lines. Like they set up the narrative and always ends in suck fuck cum "

Like the husband wants to bang his wife but she has a headache and rolls over says not tonight and he gets frustrated so goes down stairs watches babe station and ha a beer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"Why don't they have engaging story lines. Like they set up the narrative and always ends in suck fuck cum

Like the husband wants to bang his wife but she has a headache and rolls over says not tonight and he gets frustrated so goes down stairs watches babe station and ha a beer"

Wanna talk about it, buddy?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
46 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Camera crew in porn are competent until just before the leading man cums whereupon there is invariably a mad dash and a subsequent bit of violent shaky cam as the camera person scrambles to catch the money shot…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ongandharderMan
46 weeks ago

Rotherham

And why does an orgy happen with 0 planning like surely it takes a while to organise like you got to make sure everyone is free that they aren't busy like no one turns up late got organise where your having the orgy no one complains it's too cold and puts the heating on

No one is even offered a cup of tea when they obviously have guests

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Everyone’s houses are very tidy….

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ongandharderMan
46 weeks ago

Rotherham

"Why don't they have engaging story lines. Like they set up the narrative and always ends in suck fuck cum

Like the husband wants to bang his wife but she has a headache and rolls over says not tonight and he gets frustrated so goes down stairs watches babe station and ha a beer

Wanna talk about it, buddy?"

Haha. Im good 28 and single not my story

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
46 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

"And why does an orgy happen with 0 planning like surely it takes a while to organise like you got to make sure everyone is free that they aren't busy like no one turns up late got organise where your having the orgy no one complains it's too cold and puts the heating on

No one is even offered a cup of tea when they obviously have guests "

Nor even a Ferrero Rocher

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ongandharderMan
46 weeks ago

Rotherham

No one keeps their socks on

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
46 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

The average lady in a porn flick makes enough noise to wake up the neighbours in the next county.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ot to giggleWoman
46 weeks ago

Coventry

"Camera crew in porn are competent until just before the leading man cums whereupon there is invariably a mad dash and a subsequent bit of violent shaky cam as the camera person scrambles to catch the money shot…"

i thought it was because he had dropped the babywipes

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
46 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

i thought it was because he had dropped the babywipes

That’s another thing - we never see anyone cleaning up afterwards; I mean, I demand to see things neat and tidy and returned to order

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anther81Man
46 weeks ago

Drogheda

Surely some of these pornstars could have sponsorship deals with temporary tattoos on their inside leg or tummy with Gregg’s or Pringles advertisements.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ongandharderMan
46 weeks ago

Rotherham

They don't do product placements like someone cleans themselves up with a sham wow

So many people watch porn think of the wasted advertising space

You know I don't just order any pizza guy to come fuck me I order from Dominos

Think dick delivery think Domino's

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
46 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Porno music was a beautiful thing back in the day and was either mellow jazz or else groovy riffs.

Sadly, no more it seems

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ongandharderMan
46 weeks ago

Rotherham

"Porno music was a beautiful thing back in the day and was either mellow jazz or else groovy riffs.

Sadly, no more it seems

Getting fucked Infront of an orchestra haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enrietteandSamCouple
46 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Who put that can of pineapple chunks up his arse to begin with?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *martin1001Man
46 weeks ago

Bromsgrove

Why is peeing now called 'squirting'?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ensuallover1000 OP Man
46 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Ostensibly it is perfectly acceptable etiquette to flip out a semi erect Johnson within mere seconds of meeting a lady whereupon she will be rendered instantaneously sexually receptive and will frequently commence masturbating herself in a vigorous manner not entirely dissimilar to Yngwie Malmsteen playing a guitar…

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
46 weeks ago

Essex

"If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she has done something wrong."

Thanks Cas

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she has done something wrong.

Thanks Cas

I was hoping someone would get it

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
46 weeks ago

Essex

Why does no one get terribly injured by the 4 inch acrylic nails?

I wince every time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
46 weeks ago

Central

Do people who are more careerfocused, always attending interviews, really get so much more sex and job offers, as they do in the films?is that what 'professional' means?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"Why does no one get terribly injured by the 4 inch acrylic nails?

I wince every time "

The fingering with them as well!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rgasmatron1970Man
46 weeks ago

Bromley

Why are there so many polish plumber's?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ot to giggleWoman
46 weeks ago

Coventry

"Ostensibly it is perfectly acceptable etiquette to flip out a semi erect Johnson within mere seconds of meeting a lady whereupon she will be rendered instantaneously sexually receptive and will frequently commence masturbating herself in a vigorous manner not entirely dissimilar to Yngwie Malmsteen playing a guitar…"

he pulls better faces

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rgasmatron1970Man
46 weeks ago

Bromley

"why do the women wear that silly smile and have perfect hair"

And make up?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky_couple2020Couple
46 weeks ago

North West

Why aren't there product recalls on all these pieces of equipment that people get stuck in or that break down, requiring repair. They just don't build things to last these days.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ot to giggleWoman
46 weeks ago

Coventry

window cleaning is a dangerous profession

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rgasmatron1970Man
46 weeks ago

Bromley

he pulls better faces

As does Stevie Ray Vaughan

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *C79Man
46 weeks ago

Caterham

I feel sorry for all the unemployed voice dubbing actors. What are they doing these days?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ot to giggleWoman
46 weeks ago

Coventry

"I feel sorry for all the unemployed voice dubbing actors. What are they doing these days?"

joined FAB

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ags73Man
46 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Why don't they have engaging story lines. Like they set up the narrative and always ends in suck fuck cum "

French porn sort of tries to do that, but once a French porn actress is at the black lingerie including stockings stage I’ve given up caring if it’s at her work, flat, bosses house or wherever

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *el111Man
46 weeks ago

Essex/London

"Why are there so many horny MILFs in my local area?"

Loool

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ags73Man
46 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"Why are there so many horny MILFs in my local area?

Loool"

Horny grannies is the ad I see

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I always ponder how hot it would be to date a pornstar/content creator

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ldgeezermeMan
46 weeks ago

Newcastle

I've yet to meet anyone with a pixelated cock

Must be a pretty rare STI

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hoirCouple
46 weeks ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

Did she really have to drink so much prune juice?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Why do people leave the house with no card or cash so the only way to pay the taxi driver is to bounce on his plums.. such an inconvenience to the day.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

WHy does the camera man feel the need to talk to them while they are fucking?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lim and louiseCouple
46 weeks ago

dromore

I think they wanted to last longer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eadinthecloudsMan
46 weeks ago

Manchester

How do dicks not get trapped in zips ? They must use zip lube

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tsJustKateWoman
46 weeks ago

London

"The average lady in a porn flick makes enough noise to wake up the neighbours in the next county."

I never watch porn with the sound up. The noises they make are just ridiculous.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *TG3Man
46 weeks ago

Dorchester

It gets me hard i wank i cum

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread