FabSwingers.com forum: Terrible jokes

By *exyEggs OP Couple
23 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

When things are a bit shit, a rubbish joke always makes me smile

Share away!

My four year old son has been learning Spanish for a while, but all he's learned is the word for please.

That's poor for four.

Mrs TMN x

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By *issmorganWoman
23 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I was making a joke about retirement, but it did not work.

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By *aters139Man
23 weeks ago

Sheffield

"what do you tell a mexican who's stealing your cheese"

'Nacho cheese'

It's literally the only joke I can remember...well...besides very inappropriate ones...and I refuse to stop posting it until it is appreciated by the masses!

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
23 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I was making a joke about retirement, but it did not work. "

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
23 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

""what do you tell a mexican who's stealing your cheese"

'Nacho cheese'

It's literally the only joke I can remember...well...besides very inappropriate ones...and I refuse to stop posting it until it is appreciated by the masses!"

The masses approve. They all told me so

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By *rispyDuckMan
23 weeks ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

A Rabbit, a priest & a monk walk into a bar.

Bar keep asks: what can I get you?

Rabbit replies: I don’t drink I’m a typo

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By *issmorganWoman
23 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Two guys walked into a bar, the thurd ducked

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By *aters139Man
23 weeks ago

Sheffield

""what do you tell a mexican who's stealing your cheese"

'Nacho cheese'

It's literally the only joke I can remember...well...besides very inappropriate ones...and I refuse to stop posting it until it is appreciated by the masses!

The masses approve. They all told me so

Whoop

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By *ivorced manMan
23 weeks ago

Birmingham

I asked the Mrs what her fantasy was, she replied beef burger !

I said what do you mean, beef burger.

She said yes, five guys

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By *ohnSwingsSurreyMan
23 weeks ago

Horley

Why are tall people lazier than short people?

……because they lie in bed longer

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By *ature420Couple
23 weeks ago

aberdeen

When I die I hope I go like my grandfather,quietly and in my sleep.....and not screaming and shouting like the passengers on his bus

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By *zeroMan
23 weeks ago

A wretched hive of scum and villainy

""what do you tell a mexican who's stealing your cheese"

'Nacho cheese'

It's literally the only joke I can remember...well...besides very inappropriate ones...and I refuse to stop posting it until it is appreciated by the masses!

The masses approve. They all told me so

I have a few cheese based jokes. But none of them are gouda

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By *imionMan
23 weeks ago

redditch

A man walks into a bar.... aoooow.. drum roll pls ??

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By *imionMan
23 weeks ago

redditch

[Removed by poster at 24/04/24 14:08:48]

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By *imionMan
23 weeks ago

redditch

"When things are a bit shit, a rubbish joke always makes me smile

Share away!

My four year old son has been learning Spanish for a while, but all he's learned is the word for please.

That's poor for four.

Mrs TMN x"
haha

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By *enk15Man
23 weeks ago

Bidford On Avon

Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd rob a liquor store, Daffy grabs a bottle and asks "Is this Whiskey?"

Elmer replies "Yeth, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank!"

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By *isaSlutFaceCouple
23 weeks ago

Solihull

I didn't want to believe my OH was stealing from his job as road worker but when I got home all the signs were there!

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

What’s white, fluffy and hangs from the ceiling…………a meringue-utan!

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By *enk15Man
23 weeks ago

Bidford On Avon

Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety medication?

For hispanic attacks.

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
23 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Some excellent work here, keep them coming!

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By *illy IdolMan
23 weeks ago

Midlands

I thought I spotted the first English superhero the other day. I saw a scouser running down the road wearing a cape.

Turned out the fucker hadn't paid for his haircut

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By *imionMan
23 weeks ago

redditch

Knock knock. Who's there? Nanna..

Nanna who?? Nanna of ur business.. bad I know my 6 year old told me that last week lol

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By *imionMan
23 weeks ago

redditch

"I thought I spotted the first English superhero the other day. I saw a scouser running down the road wearing a cape.

Turned out the fucker hadn't paid for his haircut

"
haha the good old scouse jokes lol

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
23 weeks ago

Around the Midlands

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward

That’s just how I roll

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By *imionMan
23 weeks ago

redditch

"Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward

That’s just how I roll"
haha ya geek lol ??

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By *enk15Man
23 weeks ago

Bidford On Avon

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

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By *ionandleopardCouple
23 weeks ago

norwich

Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff ?

Tequila

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By *erry bull1Man
23 weeks ago

doncaster

Velcro is a rip off

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By *clovin.69Man
23 weeks ago

Cardiff

My sex life

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By *imionMan
23 weeks ago

redditch

"My sex life

"
classs best line yet

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By *clovin.69Man
23 weeks ago

Cardiff

"My sex life

classs best line yet

Thank you, i wish i could be proud of that haha

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By *imionMan
23 weeks ago

redditch

"My sex life

classs best line yet

Thank you, i wish i could be proud of that haha"
haha some time things happened for a reason and you're lack of sex was made so u can land that one linner lol hope that makes ur lake of sex feel better lol

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By *eather_uktvTV/TS
23 weeks ago

Manchester

"I thought I spotted the first English superhero the other day. I saw a scouser running down the road wearing a cape.

Turned out the fucker hadn't paid for his haircut

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By *obajxMan
23 weeks ago

Cheshire

A man was sitting alone in an airport lounge when a beautiful young woman walked in and sits down at the table next to him.

He decides that because she's wearing a uniform, she's probably an off-duty Flight Attendant, so he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the airline she flies for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the British Airways motto, “To fly, to serve”?

The young woman looks at him blankly.

He sits back and thinks up another line. He leans forward again and delivers the Air France motto. “Winning the hearts of the world”?

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred he tries again this time saying the Malaysian Airlines motto. “Going beyond expectations”?

The woman looks at him sternly and says, “What the fuck do you want”?

“Aha”, he says,... "Ryan air".

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By *clovin.69Man
23 weeks ago

Cardiff

"My sex life

classs best line yet

Thank you, i wish i could be proud of that haha

haha some time things happened for a reason and you're lack of sex was made so u can land that one linner lol hope that makes ur lake of sex feel better lol"

Well now that i've fulfilled that long and painful mission, can all the lovely ladies come out of hiding please haha

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By *imionMan
23 weeks ago

redditch

"My sex life

classs best line yet

Thank you, i wish i could be proud of that haha

haha some time things happened for a reason and you're lack of sex was made so u can land that one linner lol hope that makes ur lake of sex feel better lol

Well now that i've fulfilled that long and painful mission, can all the lovely ladies come out of hiding please haha

"
hahaha please lady's at least we know his loyal to the cause and his not ugly lol

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By *zeroMan
23 weeks ago

A wretched hive of scum and villainy

You hear about the female rapper that only performed on her menstrual cycle?

She's got a mean flow.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

The model village near us burnt down last night.

Witnesses reckon you could see the flames from 10ft away.

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By *jr9876Man
23 weeks ago

Ipswich

(This is better read out loud)

My vegan friend came round to my house the other day. But he couldn't even step in through my front door. You see, my wooden floor has laminate.

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By *yzykMan
23 weeks ago

Stirlingshire

Doctor, I think I'm going deaf

Can you describe the symptoms?

Sure, they're a yellow cartoon family, the dad's called Homer...

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By *undee2Man
23 weeks ago

Dundee

Where does the king keep his armies?

Up his sleevies.

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By *ightmovesTV/TS
23 weeks ago

Ipswich

What do you call someone who sleeps in their socks....tiny.

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By *illy IdolMan
23 weeks ago

Midlands

"Doctor, I think I'm going deaf

Can you describe the symptoms?

Sure, they're a yellow cartoon family, the dad's called Homer... "

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
23 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the “no-bell” prize

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

My friend Gav died of heartburn last week.

I can't believe gaviscon

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By *unglevipsCouple
23 weeks ago

Bunham-On-Sea

Two dyslexics robbers run into a bank.

“hair in your hands mother stickers, this is a f*ck up”.

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By *agatoXXXMan
23 weeks ago

A Place Where Time Runs Slow

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal.. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God..."

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By *zeroMan
23 weeks ago

A wretched hive of scum and villainy

My Korean pen pal died the other day. I can't believe it.

He was So Yung.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
23 weeks ago

Manchester-ish

Why shouldn't you make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad?

Because it’s a faux pa.

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
23 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"Why shouldn't you make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad?

Because it’s a faux pa.

Ahahahaha, great start to the morning!

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By *isaSlutFaceCouple
23 weeks ago

Solihull

I’ve just been on a once in a lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again!

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By *exyEggs OP Couple
23 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

"I’ve just been on a once in a lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again!"

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