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Is it hard to break a narcissist heart?

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
23 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

I read an interesting article about it and did you know that breaking a narcissist heart is different than breaking a normal persons heart? Apparently there is a thing you have to do first in order to do it and that is you must first accept yourself, because the narcissist wants to devalue you.

They mentioned different things in the article of how a narcissist doesnt care about love and closeness, but rather the main thing that they care about is power and control, so, a threat to his power or control will break his heart.

What is your view of it and do you also agree that all they care is about power and control?

Have you been in a relationship with one and have you noticed the things that they dont care about like the things mentioned?

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

I couldn't if I tried.

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By *ittlemissmistressKCouple
23 weeks ago

Southampton


"I couldn't if I tried."

Damn you it's far too early for that earworm

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
23 weeks ago

Herts

I worked with one for years. The weirdest defining characteristic was that a narcissist doesn’t understand that other people are actually other people, they see them as extensions of themselves and as such boundaries cannot be enforced because they do not exist to the narcissist.

The only way to deal with them is to keep away from them.

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By *ellinever70Woman
23 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I'm not sure there are really all that many actual narcissists

Just lots of people that just aren't great at navigating relationships

So when that relationship ends, yeah I think they hurt

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

My estranged mother is one, along with a couple of former friends years ago. I would never entertain such people again and any warning signs with potential romantic dates I would be out the door. That is the best way to deal with them

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By *ot to giggleWoman
23 weeks ago

Coventry

Lived with one for years .. they didn't understand anyone else's needs but their own.

Don't think you could break his heart, he would just turn it round to your failing.

Leaving is the only way to deal with them, leave and get all the outside protection to keep them away because they think you belong and have no right to leave

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

According to the social media posts of my narcissistic ex I broke his heart when I threw him out unexpectedly...

If course they failed to mention

- They had been financially bleeding me dry

- Were having an affair

- Hadn't given me any sort of physical affection for 7 years

So I didn't actually break their heart, I just ruined their public image of being the perfect husband and cut off their supply.

They very quickly moved on with the woman they were having an affair with and I am very happily still single 4.5 years later.

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By *ucka39Man
23 weeks ago

Newcastle

Yes and all true I had 4 years of hell but I couldn't understand why she was acting like that

But after picking myself up I cut ties and I think it kicked in with her that I wasn't around for her to do that anymore yes I truly loved her but the damage was done as she had pushed me over the edge to nearly ending my life attempt was made

I'm going to leave it there as I don't like thinking about it

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

My Dad was one.My ex husband is one. Both had addictions I wonder if the domino's effect was the trigger.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"Yes and all true I had 4 years of hell but I couldn't understand why she was acting like that

But after picking myself up I cut ties and I think it kicked in with her that I wasn't around for her to do that anymore yes I truly loved her but the damage was done as she had pushed me over the edge to nearly ending my life attempt was made

I'm going to leave it there as I don't like thinking about it

"

Hugs xxx I got that low myself before snapping and saying enough x despite several warnings I genuine think he thought I'd never throw him out.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

At least we are alive to share our tales.Sure it hurts. I was thinking once to help those with addictions but not for me. My last job was narcissist cannot work in controlling conditions.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"I read an interesting article about it and did you know that breaking a narcissist heart is different than breaking a normal persons heart? Apparently there is a thing you have to do first in order to do it and that is you must first accept yourself, because the narcissist wants to devalue you.

They mentioned different things in the article of how a narcissist doesnt care about love and closeness, but rather the main thing that they care about is power and control, so, a threat to his power or control will break his heart.

What is your view of it and do you also agree that all they care is about power and control?

Have you been in a relationship with one and have you noticed the things that they dont care about like the things mentioned? "

What about you shag? Have you experienced the above?

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"At least we are alive to share our tales.Sure it hurts. I was thinking once to help those with addictions but not for me. My last job was narcissist cannot work in controlling conditions."

I had one in my team working for me.... utter nightmare ... caused so much trouble..... one day threatened to leave .... I said that's a shame, your choice of course is there anything they would like me to do to help them move to a new role? They left e months later

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
23 weeks ago

King's Crustacean

I didn't think it was possible for me to be even MORE irritated by the misuse of the word narcissist than I already am , but here we go ......

Each time we get a thread with 175 people who have dated a narcissist I shake my head in disbelief and sadness.

Narcissists are human. They might not think like you or feel what you feel but they are human.

They also come in a HUGE variety of packages.......

They are not equally as mean , they are not monsters out to get you , they are not murderers or psychopaths or any other label you want to stick on them and they hurt very much - true they may not be able to understand your hurt but they do hurt.

In truth like it or not they are simply living their reality and whilst I'd find it difficult to imagine a narcissist could fulfill my needs in a relationship I can recognise their humanity and treat them accordingly. We've all worked with them........

The people I see being described are usually NOT narcissistic but just badly behaved , ill brought up, uncaring , sociopathic cunts ..... and you chose them.

No one CHOOSES to be a narcissist.

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By *ucka39Man
23 weeks ago

Newcastle


"Yes and all true I had 4 years of hell but I couldn't understand why she was acting like that

But after picking myself up I cut ties and I think it kicked in with her that I wasn't around for her to do that anymore yes I truly loved her but the damage was done as she had pushed me over the edge to nearly ending my life attempt was made

I'm going to leave it there as I don't like thinking about it

Hugs xxx I got that low myself before snapping and saying enough x despite several warnings I genuine think he thought I'd never throw him out. "

Likewise xxx sorry to hear that you were a victim also and others on this thread

It can be difficult to figure out when the person doing it is also an alcoholic. Is it the drink speaking or something more

One thing I can say yes she regrets everything and clearly knows what she lost as I'm a rare find which I'm sure most of you all are

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By *aseylee324Couple
23 weeks ago

Valley of Squinting Windows

If you want to get into games with a narcissist, you've got more issues than being with a narcissist

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago


"Yes and all true I had 4 years of hell but I couldn't understand why she was acting like that

But after picking myself up I cut ties and I think it kicked in with her that I wasn't around for her to do that anymore yes I truly loved her but the damage was done as she had pushed me over the edge to nearly ending my life attempt was made

I'm going to leave it there as I don't like thinking about it

Hugs xxx I got that low myself before snapping and saying enough x despite several warnings I genuine think he thought I'd never throw him out.

Likewise xxx sorry to hear that you were a victim also and others on this thread

It can be difficult to figure out when the person doing it is also an alcoholic. Is it the drink speaking or something more

One thing I can say yes she regrets everything and clearly knows what she lost as I'm a rare find which I'm sure most of you all are "

Battered and bruised we are survivours

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By *ot to giggleWoman
23 weeks ago

Coventry


"According to the social media posts of my narcissistic ex I broke his heart when I threw him out unexpectedly...

If course they failed to mention

- They had been financially bleeding me dry

- Were having an affair

- Hadn't given me any sort of physical affection for 7 years

So I didn't actually break their heart, I just ruined their public image of being the perfect husband and cut off their supply.

They very quickly moved on with the woman they were having an affair with and I am very happily still single 4.5 years later. "

well done you xxx

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By *ot to giggleWoman
23 weeks ago

Coventry


"Yes and all true I had 4 years of hell but I couldn't understand why she was acting like that

But after picking myself up I cut ties and I think it kicked in with her that I wasn't around for her to do that anymore yes I truly loved her but the damage was done as she had pushed me over the edge to nearly ending my life attempt was made

I'm going to leave it there as I don't like thinking about it

"

thank you for sharing - Guys have this treatment too - glad you found yourself again

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Anyone for a breather ..cup of plenty here tea,coffee,milk,water,oj,real bean coffee..

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By *ucka39Man
23 weeks ago

Newcastle


"Yes and all true I had 4 years of hell but I couldn't understand why she was acting like that

But after picking myself up I cut ties and I think it kicked in with her that I wasn't around for her to do that anymore yes I truly loved her but the damage was done as she had pushed me over the edge to nearly ending my life attempt was made

I'm going to leave it there as I don't like thinking about it

Hugs xxx I got that low myself before snapping and saying enough x despite several warnings I genuine think he thought I'd never throw him out.

Likewise xxx sorry to hear that you were a victim also and others on this thread

It can be difficult to figure out when the person doing it is also an alcoholic. Is it the drink speaking or something more

One thing I can say yes she regrets everything and clearly knows what she lost as I'm a rare find which I'm sure most of you all are

Battered and bruised we are survivours "

From weaknesses to strength the untouchable the rainbow gets brighter

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
23 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"I read an interesting article about it and did you know that breaking a narcissist heart is different than breaking a normal persons heart? Apparently there is a thing you have to do first in order to do it and that is you must first accept yourself, because the narcissist wants to devalue you.

They mentioned different things in the article of how a narcissist doesnt care about love and closeness, but rather the main thing that they care about is power and control, so, a threat to his power or control will break his heart.

What is your view of it and do you also agree that all they care is about power and control?

Have you been in a relationship with one and have you noticed the things that they dont care about like the things mentioned?

What about you shag? Have you experienced the above? "
Hi becs, no. I havent experienced it, what about you?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
23 weeks ago

Central

I'd not care about whether his heart gets broken or not. Any sign of one and I'm in survival mode and getting away from them.

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By *OYFBWoman
23 weeks ago

Jersey (sometimes Notts)

I didn’t know narcissists had hearts?

News to me!

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By *ucka39Man
23 weeks ago

Newcastle


"I didn’t know narcissists had hearts?

News to me! "

Hiya

They don't not even enough to care about themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

In my experience they just get angry

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
23 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"I worked with one for years. The weirdest defining characteristic was that a narcissist doesn’t understand that other people are actually other people, they see them as extensions of themselves and as such boundaries cannot be enforced because they do not exist to the narcissist.

The only way to deal with them is to keep away from them. "
Yes, that is the only way too

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
23 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.

[Removed by poster at 24/04/24 22:19:28]

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
23 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"Lived with one for years .. they didn't understand anyone else's needs but their own.

Don't think you could break his heart, he would just turn it round to your failing.

Leaving is the only way to deal with them, leave and get all the outside protection to keep them away because they think you belong and have no right to leave"
Hi gottogiggle, yes, you are right there, they dont understand anyone elses needs but their own and yes, leaving them is the only way too

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
23 weeks ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

He thought I'd stay and put up and shut up with his treatment and cheating..... I walked away and it shook him to the core

Tinder

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
23 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"He thought I'd stay and put up and shut up with his treatment and cheating..... I walked away and it shook him to the core

Tinder"
That is good you walked away from it too.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Its not impossible for a narcissist to feel, just most of what they do is fed by others. The only way to truly affect them is to take away your communication, presence and remove yourself from their life in silence. The loss of power and control is the only thing that hurts them and their ego.

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By *hagTonight OP   Man
23 weeks ago

From the land of haribos.


"Its not impossible for a narcissist to feel, just most of what they do is fed by others. The only way to truly affect them is to take away your communication, presence and remove yourself from their life in silence. The loss of power and control is the only thing that hurts them and their ego."
Yes, you are right there, the best way is not to have anything to do with them

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