FabSwingers.com forum: The art of conversation...

By *eli OP Woman
46 weeks ago

What are some things that make a good/enjoyable conversation for you?

What do you dislike in a conversation?

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
46 weeks ago

Leeds

I like people talking about something they are passionate about.

I dislike small talk - it irritates me.

Mrs

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By *weetiepie99Woman
46 weeks ago

cardiff

I like conversation when its two way. Sort of equal contribution from everyone. I hate it when someone talks over the other, and doesn't listen!

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Talking about others interests, hobbies, work life, family and friends and what makes one another happy are good starters for 10 but I personally avoid discussing past relationships and things I deem negative

And if the feeling between each other is electric then discussions of turn ons, fantasies etc may take precedence

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

As above, small talk is boring.

I like guys that can just go off on one about something they care about or tell me things about their life. Sometimes the conversation is just easy and you can talk about the stupid things and the serious stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I dislike people 'lecturing' you

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By *alandNitaCouple
46 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

"I like people talking about something they are passionate about.

I dislike small talk - it irritates me.

Mrs "

Unfortunately, talking to strangers usually takes a bit of small talk first.

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By *eli OP Woman
46 weeks ago

"I like conversation when its two way. Sort of equal contribution from everyone. I hate it when someone talks over the other, and doesn't listen!"

Yep. Sort of equal works. I find it mind-numbingly dull when it's an exercise in a person just talking about themselves. No desire to learn about how you view things, feel about things. Just to say their bit. So dull.

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By *ou only live onceMan
46 weeks ago

London

I dislike people that ask a question only as a segue to tell one of their own anecdotes.

I like people that don't take themselves too seriously. Good conversation has light and shade - happy to prattle on about favourite foods before jumping to the unbearable lightness of being and everything in between.

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By *ake_or_deathMan
46 weeks ago

Manchester

"What are some things that make a good/enjoyable conversation for you?

What do you dislike in a conversation? "

When both parties have enough common ground to get the conversational flow going, and a similar sense of humour and a mutual enthusiasm for the conversation, but when they also know things I don't but that I find interesting and want to learn about. I hate conversations where you're having to guess at how to progress it because the other person isn't giving you anything back.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
46 weeks ago

Leeds

"I like people talking about something they are passionate about.

I dislike small talk - it irritates me.

Mrs

Unfortunately, talking to strangers usually takes a bit of small talk first. "

Yeah, it's still extremely irritating, maybe this is why I don't talk to people

Mrs

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By *dam1971Man
46 weeks ago

Bedford

It’s good when you feel you can talk about anything. That means that you’re both confident enough to be listened to, which is a wonderful place to be.

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By *rsMistyPeaksWoman
46 weeks ago

Essex

"I dislike people that ask a question only as a segue to tell one of their own anecdotes.

Absolutely what I was going to say.

When you can tell someone isn’t listening to you, just waiting for you to pause for breath so they can talk at you….

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By *emorefridaCouple
46 weeks ago

La la land

I adore conversions where you can be authentically you. Where you can babble on about something rather niche but the other person is actually listening and interacting with you. Listening is all well and good but interaction is what makes a conversation good.

What makes a bad conversation, when someone doesn't let you finish your sentence constantly.

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By *eli OP Woman
46 weeks ago

"Talking about others interests, hobbies, work life, family and friends and what makes one another happy are good starters for 10 but I personally avoid discussing past relationships and things I deem negative

And if the feeling between each other is electric then discussions of turn ons, fantasies etc may take precedence

Yes previous relationships can be potentially negative and also... if someone talks about how all their exes are psycho, narcissistic etc... I'm probably thinking the problem is them.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

When someone talks to you and not at you. An equal amount of talking and listening. Being heard, as well as hearing the other person. I only speak if I have something to say, small talk is not needed or wanted.

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By *eli OP Woman
46 weeks ago

"I dislike people 'lecturing' you"

What do you like Midnight?

And yes, fair. Especially when it's a subject you know a fair bit about but you have to listen to their "expert" crap.

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By *hatKlungeEnigmaMan
46 weeks ago

St Leonards

"I dislike people 'lecturing' you"

Well that told us!

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By *uctifanoWoman
46 weeks ago

Glasgow

I like pondering “stuff” with like minded individuals. Anything from what crisp flavour is best to quantum physics and what dark matter is

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
46 weeks ago

Sunderland

As long as someone is genuinely interested in what you're saying I think most conversation is interesting. I also particularly like people who have viewpoints or takes on situation that I wouldn't expect.

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By *oodmessMan
46 weeks ago

yumsville

Probably a good cheeseboard, nice seating, good lighting, prospect of a hotel not too far away.

Dislike people listening in, making comments aimed at what you're been saying despite not knowing them, fake laughing as if they are having a really fun time.

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By *ot to giggleWoman
46 weeks ago

Coventry

i love talking - whoops ! i also love listening to other's talk and I think I am pretty good at encouraging others to talk. the small talk starting stuff, can be a bit tedious but then teasing out the fun stuff and finding common ground to laugh and joke about. I meet someone for the first time yesterday and the conversation started on a bit about who we are, but then we were giggling about the noisy people in the pub, and if people had volume switches - turned into a nonsense flirty chat which was great and showed that we got on.

I hate conversations that go 'floppy' even texting conversations - so they start with drive and passion and then deflect to 'let me know' or 'you decide' and flop out - I find that irritating

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By *dam1971Man
46 weeks ago

Bedford

It’s interesting that many of the skills / problems that are mentioned here about conversation, are twice as bad in work meetings. Perhaps a small problem is magnified when there are several people in the conversation, but that’s all the more reason to get it right.

As part of my job I sometimes do brainstorming meetings and it’s really obvious that some people just don’t fit when you need a group of people to feel comfortable in suggesting slightly bonkers ideas.

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By *ot to giggleWoman
46 weeks ago

Coventry

"It’s interesting that many of the skills / problems that are mentioned here about conversation, are twice as bad in work meetings. Perhaps a small problem is magnified when there are several people in the conversation, but that’s all the more reason to get it right.

meetings are always difficult as you get those that dont mind speaking in front of a group and those that would rather not be heard in that type of setting - me Im just loud

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By *eli OP Woman
46 weeks ago

"I dislike people that ask a question only as a segue to tell one of their own anecdotes.

Oh that reminds me of a time...

I won't, don't worry.

That being said, sometimes people share similar stories as a way of connecting/emphathising.

It's about balance isn't it? And the level of relationship you have. With those I don't particularly know I'd feel uncomfortable if it was too serious all the time, much prefer light frivolity and chats on cheese.

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By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan
46 weeks ago

Gloucestershire

I love lighthearted humour. Someone you can instantly bounce off because they are on the same wavelength as you.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"I adore conversions where you can be authentically you. Where you can babble on about something rather niche but the other person is actually listening and interacting with you. Listening is all well and good but interaction is what makes a conversation good.

What makes a bad conversation, when someone doesn't let you finish your sentence constantly. "

Yess! I'm with this totally. And as knights said above too about talking about things we are passionate about. I'm not much into small talk, but I understand some of it is needed to create momentum in the conversation. Going from nothing to straight in at the deep end would intimidate or scare people off I can imagine.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Like people with an opinion who don't lecture.

Loathe small talk and people who talk about money/cars/crypto.. yawn goodbye.

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By *ellhungvweMan
46 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I love people who are passionate about something. Small talk and “banter” just makes me want to die.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

And if the feeling between each other is electric then discussions of turn ons, fantasies etc may take precedence

Yes previous relationships can be potentially negative and also... if someone talks about how all their exes are psycho, narcissistic etc... I'm probably thinking the problem is them.

Totally agreed

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By *oss25Man
46 weeks ago

Flitwick and Fakenham

I love an easy conversation whether verbal or messsge and it can be about all sorts but I hate it when I’m left to do all the work….either it’s 2 way or no way.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Don’t really have conversations outside work anymore so I don’t know.

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By *iss.BellaWoman
46 weeks ago

Wales

The kind of conversation where you are both genuinely enjoy it. Where you feel if you needed to, you could truly open up to the person that you are conversing with. Discovering what sparks their passion and what drives them. Hearing what's made them become the person they are today.

I guess I'm just nosey

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By *eli OP Woman
46 weeks ago

"When someone talks to you and not at you. An equal amount of talking and listening. Being heard, as well as hearing the other person. I only speak if I have something to say, small talk is not needed or wanted."

Being heard as well as hearing - I really like that. The whole listening part of a conversation, we've all heard it many times. But being truly listened to? That's when I really enjoy a conversation.

So you're never one for small talk? Small talk gets a lot of hate, sometimes unfairly.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"…..

I dislike small talk - it irritates me.

Mrs "

Don’t get me started!…. Seriously though, don’t or I begin to waffle.

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By *ittlemissFlirtyCouple
46 weeks ago

3rd Rock from the sun

"…..

I dislike small talk - it irritates me.

Mrs

Don’t get me started!…. Seriously though, don’t or I begin to waffle.

Waffle away....

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"I dislike people 'lecturing' you"

There was a lady I had to deal with in the real world that believed in QAnon conspiracy theory.

I let her speak for long periods, then I'd just point out facts that would contradict what she said..just to plant the seed of doubt, & so as not to come off as a complete dick. After knowing her for a bit I think she was drawn to it, coming from a place of trauma..

the theory is absolute bollocks though & it was difficult trying to be patient.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Love any conversation with someone who has something to say. Debates, sharing about things they know or ponder, going down rabbit holes together, whether it's science, politics, random crap, silly things, or things they are passionate about. I struggle with people that don't contribute so it feels like pulling teeth or awkward silence.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I think small talk exists as a social safety barrier..it's kind of like a gauge, so that you know someone isn't a serial killer. (Rather than it being about 'the weather' etc.)

I don't like it either...so what I do with my neighbours rather than small talk is I'll play with their dogs.

Much more fun

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By *carlet SeductionWoman
46 weeks ago

Maidstone

I struggle a bit with some conversations. Especially in group settings with a lot of big personalities. I don't feel like I am a worthy contributor so tend to just stay quiet. I prefer talking to people who have interesting stories and enjoy being the main driver of the conversation. That makes me more comfortable as it takes the pressure off of me having to find something interesting to say. Conversation doesn't come naturally to me I often find it awkward

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By *a LunaWoman
46 weeks ago

South Wales

I’m extremely shy so I like someone who is happy and confident to chat about anything, even silly little things that might seem irrelevant.

Nothing too highbrow, nothing bitchy.

Observational stuff, life stories. I like to listen more than I like to talk (surprisingly!).

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Lots of talk about social issues. Lots of talk about making the world a better place. Lots of jokes. Lots of meme / cultural references.

Real shit.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Having said that- I’ll talk about pretty much anything.

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By *inkyandthebrain2023Couple
46 weeks ago

Cheshire

I drive a taxi and a few customers get my fab conversations. Safe to say they have a lot of questions and don't get bored of listening.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
46 weeks ago

North East Scotland, mostly

I like conversations. I like finding out about people. I like when you're comfortable with someone and the conversation goes diving off at a tangent, then three hours later you say "oh yeah, I never finished telling you about this" and you circle back round. I love conversations with people when I can be my unguarded self, makes me feel all warm inside.

Mrs TMN x

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By *ily WhiteWoman
46 weeks ago

I love random conversations that meander from topic to topic, serious or jovial, seeing how animated someone becomes when it's something they're passionate about, being humbled when someone entrusts me with a problem, seeing the sparkle in their eyes when we share a joke. I adore getting to know people through conversation, the different facets of their personality.

I don't really like conversing via text though, I much prefer to hear tone of voice and see body language.

I'm a magnet for random strangers starting conversations, and I really like those pleasant little asides from my day, the brief shared moment with someone that I'll probably never speak to again.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

It's all about flow, isn't it? Whether a conversation is serious, flirty, utter nonsense, or light. I enjoy all those types of conversation depending on my mood. Finding that point of mutual interest and running with it is what's important.

Like Scarlet Seduction, I'm crap in group situations and let everyone else take the lead. I'm happy being an observer.

In a one-to-one situation I dislike being monologued at, general smalltalk, and not being listened to.

Nell

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By *ellinever70Woman
46 weeks ago

Ayrshire

I can deal with small talk when still at the sussing out stage...over exuberance at the beginning would make my face go

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
46 weeks ago

little house on the praire

I don't like people who sit and spout of their life story as soon as you meet them. I like people with interesting stories. I like to ask questions and like to be asked. I like proper answers that you can respond to.

I like most types of conversation but not politics and not banging on about their ex

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
46 weeks ago

Reading

Is all about the flow.

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By *JcuriousCouple
46 weeks ago

Derby

When the conversation flows with ease, it's interesting, flirty and funny... Perfect combo!

Miss S x

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By *JcuriousCouple
46 weeks ago

Derby

Dislike - it grates on me actually, when you ask someone how they are for example and they don't ask you back

Miss S x

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By *rispyDuckMan
46 weeks ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

I enjoying flowing general lighthearted conversation, with a sprinkle of banter and flirting. Even on fab doesn’t always have to be about sex just general chit chat getting to know my potential meet’s interests & things we have in common.

Short word answers & slow responses (2 days later is a big turn off) for me.

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By *r Black 85Man
46 weeks ago

nottingham

"What are some things that make a good/enjoyable conversation for you?

What do you dislike in a conversation? "

I don't like it when you are talking to someone and they are not paying attention

Conversation killer

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By *eli OP Woman
46 weeks ago

"Dislike - it grates on me actually, when you ask someone how they are for example and they don't ask you back

Miss S x"

Yeah, what's that about? Darn it people, follow social cues and pretend you're vaguely interested in the other person.

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By *eli OP Woman
46 weeks ago

"I love conversations with people when I can be my unguarded self, makes me feel all warm inside.

Mrs TMN x"

It's nice isn't it? I think those are the top tier conversations - having that authenticity with another. It doesn't mean you have to divulge your deepest darkest secrets but being able to talk how you want, about topics you'd like, that makes a massive difference.

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By *eroLondonMan
46 weeks ago

Mayfair

If we're talking about Fab then the art of conversation for me is when those deep and meaningful conversations remain consistent, relaxed, passionate, and just flow seamlessly between Fab messaging, voice notes, phone calls and external messaging apps.The blurred lines of where we talk no longer matter because the conversation is natural and intrinsic.

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By *obilebottomMan
46 weeks ago

All over

Lost with some, sadly

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By *JcuriousCouple
46 weeks ago

Derby

"If we're talking about Fab then the art of conversation for me is when those deep and meaningful conversations remain consistent, relaxed, passionate, and just flow seamlessly between Fab messaging, voice notes, phone calls and external messaging apps.The blurred lines of where we talk no longer matter because the conversation is natural and intrinsic."

The best

Miss S x

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By *agneto.Man
46 weeks ago

Bham

I'm not great at small talk because I hate it. It's good when you click and can take the piss out of each other and be playful straight away.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"but I personally avoid discussing past relationships and things I deem negative

In principle I agree.

I recently had an experience a little bit like this; I sat and listened tho, as a result built a friendship I don’t want rid of.

The past experiences is what builds us and shapes us, cannot be totally negative to those being vulnerable and willing to share about themselves in that way.

Yes, it’s maybe indication of something but being willing to sit and listen not judge is important.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"but I personally avoid discussing past relationships and things I deem negative

In principle I agree.

I recently had an experience a little bit like this; I sat and listened tho, as a result built a friendship I don’t want rid of.

The past experiences is what builds us and shapes us, cannot be totally negative to those being vulnerable and willing to share about themselves in that way.

Yes, it’s maybe indication of something but being willing to sit and listen not judge is important.

I don’t judge and the person I’m conversing with can talk about whatever they desire and I’m a good listener but I avoid talking about things “I” deem negative and about my past relationships because the topic, depending, could be misconstrued

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I accept that. My response wasn’t against you, I’m sharing an aspect of my opinion, And in many respects share it. I assure you. Many lenses.. etc..

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

Good topic. Thanks all for contributing.

For me, I like genuine people. Doesn’t matter what the topic is. If it’s something I know about, I add my bit. If not, I’m happy to just listen to new stuff.

What puts me off - rudeness, crudeness (including bad language), Negative talk, gossip, politics, religion.

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By *eli OP Woman
46 weeks ago

"I think small talk exists as a social safety barrier..it's kind of like a gauge, so that you know someone isn't a serial killer. (Rather than it being about 'the weather' etc.)

I don't like it either...so what I do with my neighbours rather than small talk is I'll play with their dogs.

Much more fun

Ah yes, that well known serial killer downfall - small talk. Forget profiling, just make small talk with a serial killer and if they falter, you know there's a fridge of body parts not far behind.

I do understand what you're saying - it's an initial way of gauging compatibility. Seeing if it could become a more meaningful conversation. If replies are short, if there's no interest in you, well they might not be roaming the streets looking for victims but you're probably not that compatible.

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By *2000ManMan
46 weeks ago

Worthing

Most subjects are game for me.

I dislike single word or a sentence in response to my efforts. Although it shows they are not interested!

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

"I think small talk exists as a social safety barrier..it's kind of like a gauge, so that you know someone isn't a serial killer. (Rather than it being about 'the weather' etc.)

I don't like it either...so what I do with my neighbours rather than small talk is I'll play with their dogs.

Much more fun

Ah yes, that well known serial killer downfall - small talk. Forget profiling, just make small talk with a serial killer and if they falter, you know there's a fridge of body parts not far behind.

Yep most folks don't realise it's quite an inefficient method.

There's no room left under my floorboards now.

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By (user no longer on site)
46 weeks ago

I prefer small talk any day, to ME talk.

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