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postnatal depression

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By *H.couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

edinburgh

currently watching "the Wright stuff" and the current topic is should all mums be tested for postnatal depression?

i think its a good idea but i guess the cost would be horrendous. Thoughts?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Visits to midwife and health visitor are usually based around picking up on this anyway so I don't personally don't think any extra testing is required.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

looking back i suffered with it. was in complete denial at the time.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Visits to midwife and health visitor are usually based around picking up on this anyway so I don't personally don't think any extra testing is required."

Neither do I, besides, don't know how you'd test for it. With most things, those that recognise they need help seek it, those that don't/don't want to be seen as not coping hide it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"looking back i suffered with it. was in complete denial at the time."

Me too..

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By *H.couple OP   Couple
over a year ago

edinburgh


"looking back i suffered with it. was in complete denial at the time."

a poll just came up saying that 33% of women that have suffered from it dont report it due to fear of what would happen if they do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"looking back i suffered with it. was in complete denial at the time.

a poll just came up saying that 33% of women that have suffered from it dont report it due to fear of what would happen if they do"

I dont mind talking about it now as im completely over it, I just had horrendous nightmares where i would in fact harm her, or even kill her in these nightmares. It made me love her and look after her more. I was often sat by her door banging my head against the door when she'd constantly cry and just wouldnt stop even after trying milk, winding, changing her, cuddles etc.. Just feared if i told someone that she'd get taken away from me. Felt we hadn't bonded properly as i found out at 33wks, had a c section, never experienced a contraction. It was very much like it was a big shopping trip, getting excited about moving out of home oh and then i was given a baby. Can understand why it takes 9 months to have a baby. Gives the mother time to adjust and get her head around to the idea of just how much her life will change. I spent my 3 months picking names, and buying stuff.

Being a single parent it isn't the easiest thing.. but im surviving Its the only kind of parenting i know how to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Visits to midwife and health visitor are usually based around picking up on this anyway so I don't personally don't think any extra testing is required."

My HV was a complete idiot and I lied to my doc about how I was feeling so I think you're wrong sorry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"looking back i suffered with it. was in complete denial at the time.

a poll just came up saying that 33% of women that have suffered from it dont report it due to fear of what would happen if they do"

They should maybe highlight it more so people are more aware and not so wary of talking about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Being a single parent it isn't the easiest thing.. but im surviving Its the only kind of parenting i know how to do. "

Good for you but I don't see the link between PND and being a single parent?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Being a single parent it isn't the easiest thing.. but im surviving Its the only kind of parenting i know how to do.

Good for you but I don't see the link between PND and being a single parent?"

I had no one really i could talk to if id have wanted too. I was 21 living alone for the first time in my life and had a brand new born baby.. for me i felt it was a possible contributing factor. If i had her father helping/supporting/sharing the 'work load' then yes there would have been less pressure on me

Just my opinion obviously but thats how i felt

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We all do the only parenting we know how to do Cute n Sassy. It does seem as if everyone else is sorted, has babies who sleep through, talk early, walk early and start school reading and writing. Most of us however worry that we're doing it wrong sometimes, don't make the beds sometimes give them biscuits and sweets and don't iron their pyjamas but as long as we love them, keep them fed, warm and safe with the odd bedtime story thrown in I reckon we're doing ok.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Being a single parent it isn't the easiest thing.. but im surviving Its the only kind of parenting i know how to do.

Good for you but I don't see the link between PND and being a single parent?

I had no one really i could talk to if id have wanted too. I was 21 living alone for the first time in my life and had a brand new born baby.. for me i felt it was a possible contributing factor. If i had her father helping/supporting/sharing the 'work load' then yes there would have been less pressure on me

Just my opinion obviously but thats how i felt"

My husband went off to work 12 hours every day and I resented the fact that he was out and away from the family home, having adult conversations, enjoying himself without having a baby constantly screaming the house down. It caused major arguments and we went through a very tough time as a couple. Balancing a newborn, a relationship and your conflicting feelings towards motherhood is extremely hard, so don't see it through rose tinted specs is all I'm saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Being a single parent it isn't the easiest thing.. but im surviving Its the only kind of parenting i know how to do.

Good for you but I don't see the link between PND and being a single parent?

I had no one really i could talk to if id have wanted too. I was 21 living alone for the first time in my life and had a brand new born baby.. for me i felt it was a possible contributing factor. If i had her father helping/supporting/sharing the 'work load' then yes there would have been less pressure on me

Just my opinion obviously but thats how i felt

My husband went off to work 12 hours every day and I resented the fact that he was out and away from the family home, having adult conversations, enjoying himself without having a baby constantly screaming the house down. It caused major arguments and we went through a very tough time as a couple. Balancing a newborn, a relationship and your conflicting feelings towards motherhood is extremely hard, so don't see it through rose tinted specs is all I'm saying "

I think parenthood is tough for parents, even if its not necessarily the first child a person's had. I just spoke from my experiences and glad that those darker times are over for myself and im blessed with a wonderful healthy happy child who i love more than anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suffered it bad when i had my last daughter, i am still not sure what triggered it, it may have been the fact that her sister was a real nightmare baby and was hoping for a boy because of it. Don't get me wrong i love them both as much as a mother can.

Because i have been on anti-depressants ever since then (amongst other things which i wont go into) I endured a lot of counselling finally going to see a psychiatrist only to be told that because my youngest daughter is severely disabled and at the age near 14 with a brain of an 18/2yrs he seems to think that i am still suffering post natal depression because although she is getting older her ways and mentality isn't. They have since changed my medication although i am taking a fairly high dose now, for the first time in 14yrs and the rest of my past, i can see for the first time life in a clearer way, and it's not so foggy anymore !!

I would say to anybody post-natal or not and you are sitting in front of a crying baby crying yourself, please seek help it is NOT a Taboo subject and doctors and midwives do take it seriously now !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This might be a daft question but can fellas get post natal depression ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think there's been cases

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think there's been cases "
i only asked as my brothers just had a boy who has been diagnosed with a rare genetic abnormality and he is really low at the moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think there's been cases i only asked as my brothers just had a boy who has been diagnosed with a rare genetic abnormality and he is really low at the moment "

The best thing for your brother is to ask the dr, and yes i had heard of cases also. Also it could be shock because a man is the dominate gene he will always blame himself for anything that may be wrong with the child. My ex did when we found out about our daughter, but after a lot of talks with professionals he came round to the idea of being able to cope. Now although he was a shit husband he is a fantastic father and always treats both his daughters the same !!

I wish your brother well and tell him to get as much information as he can possible XRubyX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think there's been cases i only asked as my brothers just had a boy who has been diagnosed with a rare genetic abnormality and he is really low at the moment

The best thing for your brother is to ask the dr, and yes i had heard of cases also. Also it could be shock because a man is the dominate gene he will always blame himself for anything that may be wrong with the child. My ex did when we found out about our daughter, but after a lot of talks with professionals he came round to the idea of being able to cope. Now although he was a shit husband he is a fantastic father and always treats both his daughters the same !!

I wish your brother well and tell him to get as much information as he can possible XRubyX"

Thanks for your advise Ruby knowledge is power as they say its just hard seeing him so low but he's a good guy he will come around thanks again

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton


"Visits to midwife and health visitor are usually based around picking up on this anyway so I don't personally don't think any extra testing is required.

My HV was a complete idiot and I lied to my doc about how I was feeling so I think you're wrong sorry "

I had a similar experience - my health visitor didn't notice that I had a terrible infection for days due to the doctor leaving a large piece of the planceta insdie me - a week later and a massive heamorage then they realised so had to have a D & C - (worried as I had had about 50 stitches after the birth! a lot of the 'health professionals' i have had dealings with at various stages in my life have been uncaring idiots. I finally went to a great GP who realised i was depressed and out me on medication - felt like a different person soon after! Z

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Girl in Croydon last week threw herself and her 3 yr old son under a train traveling at 60 mph last week. She had depression could easily have been post natal.. sad anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Girl in Croydon last week threw herself and her 3 yr old son under a train traveling at 60 mph last week. She had depression could easily have been post natal.. sad anyway."

Yes i read that, although she was depressed it must have taken a lot of courage to do what she did. It's very sad that they think that there is no one to turn too. I kept what happened to me in the past for 39 years before i was able to let it all out. Funnily enough it was the post natal depression that brought it all out !!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

I don't think people who commit suicide are brave, especially when they murder their kids too: and regardless of how people want to pretty it up, it's murder!

I don't know if I suffered pnd or not after the birth of my first child. I was surrounded by a loving husband, two sets of grandparents etc but felt overwhelmed and inadequate. My daughter never stopped crying when we were alone but she remained quiet when others were around. I was 22 and clueless.

My husband taking her out at weekends to visit his family so I could go shopping, hairdressers etc helped.

As women we're still expected to do it all and cope and having children a blessing so why be depressed. But you have to recognise you need help and seek it: sadly some are unable to with catastrophic consequences.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think people who commit suicide are brave, especially when they murder their kids too: and regardless of how people want to pretty it up, it's murder!

I don't know if I suffered pnd or not after the birth of my first child. I was surrounded by a loving husband, two sets of grandparents etc but felt overwhelmed and inadequate. My daughter never stopped crying when we were alone but she remained quiet when others were around. I was 22 and clueless.

My husband taking her out at weekends to visit his family so I could go shopping, hairdressers etc helped.

As women we're still expected to do it all and cope and having children a blessing so why be depressed. But you have to recognise you need help and seek it: sadly some are unable to with catastrophic consequences."

Yes you are right it is murder, but nobody will ever know what was going through that woman's head at the time of doing what she did, maybe she didn't know what she was doing.

I have had times when i could see nothing around me but a blue mist, but i used to sit and wait until it past then found myself rocking back and forth just like a child. Depression is a very evil thing if not controlled !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With respect but how the fuck can anyone describe someone who dragged her own child.under a train as having.courage? Courage would have been to admit she had a problem and to seek help. I hope she rots in hell for what she did. I had.pnd after my second son but.not for a second would i have harmed him. How can you say she was couragious im fucking stunned tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"With respect but how the fuck can anyone describe someone who dragged her own child.under a train as having.courage? Courage would have been to admit she had a problem and to seek help. I hope she rots in hell for what she did. I had.pnd after my second son but.not for a second would i have harmed him. How can you say she was couragious im fucking stunned tbh."

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Never suffered it myself and would have been mighty pissed off if they felt need to test me.....

Have known a few that have suffered it and just hope anyone that does, has family/friends that take notice before it gets too bad.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe Courageous was the was the wrong word, but i think we should try and put ourselves in her shoes, because nobody know's what was going on in her head. And NO i don't she should go to hell. because DEPRESSION is HELL !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im my opinion you can never justify the murder of a child.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I may add a guys perspective on this for a moment.. My brother used to be a Policeman and, for a while some years ago, worked on non-homicide deaths piecing together the deceased's last movements and putting together a 'picture' of their last moments, hours, days - whatever.

I, naively, said to him that people who commit suicide are weak. He went right off the deep end at me and made it clear that those who do end their lives at their own hand, are actually possessed of an inner strength that most of us would find hard to understand. The difference being, and PND is one thing which can complete derail someones logic on this, that that strength is driven towards an act which the rest of us find abhorrent.

In the case of the poor woman who sat in front of the train near Croydon, I cannot begin to understand what drove her - and drove IS the right word - to that AND include her 3 yr old son in her act. In the fullness of time, it will no doubt emerge as to what led up to that day.

The word 'courage' has upset some contributors to this thread. That may have been used out of context, but the expression 'inner strength' is, from what I learned from my brother, correct and is tantamount to the same thing - in this example.

They say 'walk a mile in my shoes', do they not...???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If I may add a guys perspective on this for a moment.. My brother used to be a Policeman and, for a while some years ago, worked on non-homicide deaths piecing together the deceased's last movements and putting together a 'picture' of their last moments, hours, days - whatever.

I, naively, said to him that people who commit suicide are weak. He went right off the deep end at me and made it clear that those who do end their lives at their own hand, are actually possessed of an inner strength that most of us would find hard to understand. The difference being, and PND is one thing which can complete derail someones logic on this, that that strength is driven towards an act which the rest of us find abhorrent.

In the case of the poor woman who sat in front of the train near Croydon, I cannot begin to understand what drove her - and drove IS the right word - to that AND include her 3 yr old son in her act. In the fullness of time, it will no doubt emerge as to what led up to that day.

The word 'courage' has upset some contributors to this thread. That may have been used out of context, but the expression 'inner strength' is, from what I learned from my brother, correct and is tantamount to the same thing - in this example.

They say 'walk a mile in my shoes', do they not...??? "

No body will ever fully understand what turmoil was going on in the head of these people before they took their own lives (and others)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I by no means think people who commit suicide are weak.....but to murder your own child in the process is unforgiveable and if we as a society start to try and justify such vile acts then we are on a very slippery slope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I by no means think people who commit suicide are weak.....but to murder your own child in the process is unforgiveable and if we as a society start to try and justify such vile acts then we are on a very slippery slope "

No one - not even the most cold-hearted of individuals - would ever try to 'justify' such an act. 'Understand' it, so there is a chance it can be prevented from happening again - yes.

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