FabSwingers.com forum: Boundaries

By *atnip make me purr OP Woman
47 weeks ago

Reading

How good are you at maintaining boundaries? Do you let people take the piss or are you great at saying no? Where is this the most difficult for you? Work? Family? This lifestyle eg in clubs.

I am very very bad in all areas and need to get better especially in this lifestyle. Why is no sometimes the hardest word of all?

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

No for me is the easiest word.

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By *rHotNottsMan
47 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I’m generally good in all areas, with exception of my kids and ex who I’ll do literally anything for. It’s not a problem for me, I love helping them, even when it really hard I put them before me, but others see it a a problem

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By *ealitybitesMan
47 weeks ago

Belfast

In my daily life I'm a hell of a lot better now at maintaining them than I used to be.

On here or anything related I'm even better and always fully in control of boundaries. I've never been to a club so I can only assume what boundaries need maintained.

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By *urvytreatWoman
47 weeks ago

somewhere nice

In clubs I can say no any keep boundaries no problem. In normal life saying no is a lot harder, if someone asks for help etc it’s 99% yes. Need to be harder

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By *ansoffateMan
47 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I find it quite easy if people are open and consistent.

It's not so much saying no that I find a challenge it's more whether people can work together collaboratively rather than competitively in relationships. I haven't got the energy for all the arguments and fuckery.

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By *eliWoman
47 weeks ago

I was rather bad at it. I'm quite a soft hearted sort and I don't like hurting people or trying to tell people how they should be with me. I would have much rather swallowed my sad and then just carried on.

Towards the latter half of last year I really discovered the joy of saying no. It can be a bit... daunting at times. Now I'm far more comfortable sticking to and where necessary saying my boundaries. If someone doesn't like them? That's fine. I'm not compatible with them, as much as I might have wanted to be.

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By *hatKlungeEnigmaMan
47 weeks ago

St Leonards

Rubbish until early 20s, moderately good until late 30s, good until mid 40s, good to very good since then.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

I'm good at setting boundaries but sometimes not great at keeping them due to various reasons. I'm learning to stick to my original thoughts and putting myself first, I'll get there eventually.

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By *sleWightCoupleCouple
47 weeks ago

Ryde

Have always been very organised. Was a girly-swot at school, and managed my own business for over 25 years until my health meant I had to let go of the reins. This is all probably because my father was in the army, and he ended up Drill Sergeant.

As for boundaries when having guys visit, then I am no push-over in that department, either. They can think they'll be able to manipulate me into doing what they want, but not a chance.

As back-up, my husband is always around as my bodyguard. He has thrown out a couple of people who tried to "stealth" me, and another who got far too rough. All were only just clothed by the time they were out the door!

I am as compassionate as they come, but it shouldn't be read as being a pushover.

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By *ommander_StraxMan
47 weeks ago

Telford

Depends. In the bedroom? 100%. Keep your digits to yourself unless it’s the right thing. Boundaries are important.

With cake? Absolute bloody mess and I have no will power. Tell me no? I’m eating the cake. Saving it for your partners birthday? I’m eating the cake. Laced with poison, laxatives and out of date? Well, see you in the next life, man… better put some paper down too because I’m eating that cake.

I do like cake.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Holding boundaries can be really hard, but it is something we can work on and improve.

Might mean working with a trusted friend/partner to do that, or going to a workshop to actively work on it.

Is it people pleasing?

Is it fear?

Is it your conditioning?

It’s a huge subject, but working through it, is an interesting and awesome ride!

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By *ot to giggleWoman
47 weeks ago

Coventry

keeping boundaries - useless

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By *hatKlungeEnigmaMan
47 weeks ago

St Leonards

"keeping boundaries - useless

Exactly Giggles - why use four words when you can find fourteen that mean less

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By *ake_or_deathMan
47 weeks ago

Manchester

Depends. In many situations my natural people-pleasing (especially with regards to women I find attractive) means my boundaries aren't great and I can be pushed around a bit. On the other hand, when I realise I'm being taken advantage of or finally get fed up of it, I can become very obstinate and won't be moved.

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By *WB85Man
47 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Boundaries are set in stone.

As much as i like this addition to my life, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardise my real life.

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By *adyBugsWoman
47 weeks ago

cognito

Considering I spend all of my time on my own I think I’m probably too good with my boundaries

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By *iercedws10Man
47 weeks ago

wednesbury

at work my favourite word is no

family and friends some I can say no to others can walk all over me,

the lifestyle well that's a different story it's starts with no and ends in go on then why not

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By *ellhungvweMan
47 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"I’m generally good in all areas, with exception of my kids and ex who I’ll do literally anything for. It’s not a problem for me, I love helping them, even when it really hard I put them before me, but others see it a a problem "

This is basically me too.

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By *ot to giggleWoman
47 weeks ago

Coventry

"keeping boundaries - useless

Exactly Giggles - why use four words when you can find fourteen that mean less

xx"

im practicing

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Work..do not take the piss

Family...do not take the piss

Friends the same.

Disrespectful gets my goat and tolerance of it is zero.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

What boundaries ?

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By *hatKlungeEnigmaMan
47 weeks ago

St Leonards

"keeping boundaries - useless

Exactly Giggles - why use four words when you can find fourteen that mean less

im practicing

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By *iss.BellaWoman
47 weeks ago

Wales

I'm getting better at it. I am quite tolerant but once the line has been crossed, there's no going back

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