FabSwingers.com forum: The murky underground...

By *eli OP Woman
47 weeks ago

Have you ever warned a Fab friend/lover/fuck off of another person?

Would you listen to another person you were interested in telling you that you shouldn't meet x, y or z?

To add a positive spin - have you encouraged/set up two fabbers?

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By *ellinever70Woman
47 weeks ago

Ayrshire

Surely the answer is going to be a unanimous no...because people never gossip here

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By *ellhungvweMan
47 weeks ago

Cheltenham

No I haven’t and I don’t listen to rumours.

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By *eli OP Woman
47 weeks ago

"Surely the answer is going to be a unanimous no...because people never gossip here

We both know that's nonsense. Even me with my possibly irritating positivity.

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By *orny-DJMan
47 weeks ago

Leigh-on-Sea

Nope. I am quite capable of making my own bad decisions

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By *eyond PurityCouple
47 weeks ago

Lincolnshire

Yes I have warned someone of a person they were going to meet…not from gossip but from what they themselves wrote on the forums.

To me it was a red flag and I’d always point those out to people I care about - what they do with that information is entirely up to them.

Would I spread gossip? No.

I’d certainly listen to someone telling me something and decide whether I needed to clarify something or not. This lifestyle is about friendship and looking out for people.

And yes, I’ve also set up people on here. The first gent we met and the first lady we met, I had an idea for a surprise blindfold meet for C and asked if they wanted to join in. I arranged for them to meet for a drink beforehand and they got on…we had our surprise for C meet and we all had a great time - they had such a great time they started dating and are still together now - we lost two FWB’s but we gained a couples friendship which is much better

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By *ealitybitesMan
47 weeks ago

Belfast

I've never warned anyone off but I have had people try and convince me that certain fabbers were dangerous or hideous individuals.

I make up my own mind on people so it came as no surprise that the same people warning me have all since had shiny new veries from those dangerous hideous fabbers.

They also make a point of tagging themselves in every thread that the others post on or start.

Some people are more invested in what others are doing than they are in talking about themselves and make what others are doing all about them.

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By *rHotNottsMan
47 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"I've never warned anyone off but I have had people try and convince me that certain fabbers were dangerous or hideous individuals.

I make up my own mind on people so it came as no surprise that the same people warning me have all since had shiny new veries from those dangerous hideous fabbers.

They also make a point of tagging themselves in every thread that the others post on or start.

Some people are more invested in what others are doing than they are in talking about themselves and make what others are doing all about them.

Generally if someones asks me or talks about others on fab now I just block them.

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By *ornycougaWoman
47 weeks ago

Wherever I lay my hat

I was approached by a MM profile that I was curious about but not overly enthusiastic. They had met a friend of mine so I sought their opinion which reinforced my gut feel about them.

I have also 'recommended' people *IF* I think they would appreciate it. Otherwise I keep schtum

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Ooohhh. This is interesting.

No, I’ve never ever been told I shouldn’t meet someone. But I have been given a heads up about something/someone. And, it made me very weary about something. Turns out… it could be true, because it happened. So I appreciated that.

I’ve been told how nice someone is, and I often tell positive things about someone if they ask if they know we’ve spoke or met someone they also know. It’s nice to share and get confirmation sometimes, in a good way.

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By *eli OP Woman
47 weeks ago

"Yes I have warned someone of a person they were going to meet…not from gossip but from what they themselves wrote on the forums.

To me it was a red flag and I’d always point those out to people I care about - what they do with that information is entirely up to them.

Would I spread gossip? No.

I’d certainly listen to someone telling me something and decide whether I needed to clarify something or not. This lifestyle is about friendship and looking out for people.

If it's something that's openly there and you're only directly talking to that person, rather than starting a thread about them etc, I think that's very different isn't it?

I think I'd appreciate a heads up from a close friend. Have in the past even if I've ignored it.

As for the latter half...

That's really sweet K! Nice balance there.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

One person's dickhead is another person's...non-dickhead.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"One person's dickhead is another person's...non-dickhead.

This is true.

How many times I get told someone’s realy nice and I think they’re a cunt.

I’m also probably nice to someone….

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By *hilloutMan
47 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Looking back, I don't believe I have.

In the past I've been warned off people but have always made judgement based on my interaction with the individual in question.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"One person's dickhead is another person's...non-dickhead.

This is true.

How many times I get told someone’s realy nice and I think they’re a cunt.

I’m also probably nice to someone….

Before anyone thinks that was aimed at Coyote… it isn’t. I actually like her. (I know… pass the sick bucket). It was just a statement and not specific to fab.

*people read into things in here too much.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"One person's dickhead is another person's...non-dickhead.

This is true.

How many times I get told someone’s realy nice and I think they’re a cunt.

I’m also probably nice to someone….

Before anyone thinks that was aimed at Coyote… it isn’t. I actually like her. (I know… pass the sick bucket). It was just a statement and not specific to fab.

*people read into things in here too much.

Honestly, it doesn't even register anymore

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Usually, I like to make my own mind up about people. I try not to get myself involved in drama and I know that someone’s intentions aren’t always great.

In saying that, I have been warned off someone I was briefly chatting to by someone I’ve never interacted with before. The message was pretty concerning and as I wasn’t really that invested in them anyway, I distanced myself, rather than sticking around to find out if it was true.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
47 weeks ago

East Sussex

I've never warned anyone off of another person.

Whether I took any notice of someone warning me would depend on what they were telling me and how likely I thought it was to be true. Most of the time o take no notice

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By *ealitybitesMan
47 weeks ago

Belfast

"I've never warned anyone off but I have had people try and convince me that certain fabbers were dangerous or hideous individuals.

I make up my own mind on people so it came as no surprise that the same people warning me have all since had shiny new veries from those dangerous hideous fabbers.

They also make a point of tagging themselves in every thread that the others post on or start.

Some people are more invested in what others are doing than they are in talking about themselves and make what others are doing all about them.

Generally if someones asks me or talks about others on fab now I just block them. "

I've had people who only know me through the forums send messages or approach me at socials with the opening line of "I know you hate gossip but you need to know........"

I know for a fact that if I was to contact any of those I was being warned about and told them what was being said and by who, I would be accused of making it up.

For that reason and how so many are fannyblind I avoid getting involved.

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By *ensuallover1000Man
47 weeks ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

‘’Ere….you know (Insert Fabber’s name here)? I heard it on good authority that they eat hamsters….’

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
47 weeks ago

little house on the praire

Not on fab but on other sites I've match made people.

I wouldn't let someone worn me of someone as I never told anyone I was meeting until after

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By *eli OP Woman
47 weeks ago

"I've never warned anyone off but I have had people try and convince me that certain fabbers were dangerous or hideous individuals.

I make up my own mind on people so it came as no surprise that the same people warning me have all since had shiny new veries from those dangerous hideous fabbers.

They also make a point of tagging themselves in every thread that the others post on or start.

Some people are more invested in what others are doing than they are in talking about themselves and make what others are doing all about them.

Yes, I'm also quite wary of people who say this person is dangerous, hideous, cites the latest trendy term to describe someone that for whatever reason they don't like.

If there's solid evidence, it's different. Also depends on how well I know the person Idle bitching when the "evil" person will soon receive a "hey" from that person who thinks they're evil incarnate is sheer nonsense. Laughable at the absurdity.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

In the group chats we are in we will share usernames of no shows or timewasters.

But we also tell everyone of the good folks so yeah, bit of both.

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By * and R cple4Couple
47 weeks ago

swansea

We prefer to make our own minds up about people then if it does turn out to be true we'll only have ourselves to blame.

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By *emorefridaCouple
47 weeks ago

La la land

Nope, because I wouldn't listen to someone saying things like that so why bother? Only caveat would be if I seriously thought someone was putting themselves in danger.

I have been warned off people, should I have listened who knows. But I didn't but such is life. I've also am aware that people have felt the need to warn people off me. Clearly it didn't work with people who know me, so not a big deal.

I dislike being pulled into other people's nonsense. I'm bad enough assessing these kinds of things in real life. I've no time for it on line.

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By *ansoffateMan
47 weeks ago

Sagittarius A

I've often been bemused that two people I really like don't really get on. Seems to stand to reason that just because two people don't get on, doesn't mean I won't get on with a person.

Not exactly fool-proof logic but then I'm a curious person. I like to find out for myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Hi Meli,

I don’t think I’d warn a friend because the friend would most likely question why I would want to warn them off someone who they already like, and it’s just drama. I don’t think I have friends who are that dumb that they’d allow a fabber to upset them too much either tbh. It’s fab! It’s a filthpit of scum worse than that bar in Star Wars and I think most people are aware of that, aren’t they?

I also don’t think I know enough (for certain) about anyone here to know for sure if they’re good or bad. I know people stir and talk but I just avoid those ones and any friends can learn their own lessons in that respect or they can actually ask for my opinion.

Maybe if I knew someone had an untreated std lol but apart from that, nah…

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By *eli OP Woman
47 weeks ago

"I’ve been told how nice someone is, and I often tell positive things about someone if they ask if they know we’ve spoke or met someone they also know. It’s nice to share and get confirmation sometimes, in a good way.

It is nice isn't it? The 'Oh yes, that person is really fantastic' and that shared knowledge you both know someone cool. Cool. For fook sake. Erm, lovely.

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By *eli OP Woman
47 weeks ago

"One person's dickhead is another person's...non-dickhead.

Such wisdom Coyote.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

I've been privy to a lots of drama - interestingly it's often one person at the centre of it. I don't take sides or feed the fire.

I do encourage people to do their own due diligence - you see the personality /side that someone wants to show you, but it isn't that hard to see the bigger picture ... However you have to look past your own needs /interpretation.... Often the cold facts are in front of you, but we choose not to acknowledge them

I know a very solid couple who met through on of my threads, not quite the same as introducing them, but I'm claiming it

Otherwise all the people I've introduced have 'hated' each other

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Oh sh*t. I just remembered.

Vmatterhorns … you are welcome.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"Hi Meli,

Maybe if I knew someone had an untreated std lol but apart from that, nah…

Similarly, I wouldn’t recommend a fabber either. I don’t know any of them well enough, plus it’s the internet (aka that Star Wars bar) and you think you know someone and then they fuck your over because you never did. This is life

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"I've never warned anyone off but I have had people try and convince me that certain fabbers were dangerous or hideous individuals.

I make up my own mind on people so it came as no surprise that the same people warning me have all since had shiny new veries from those dangerous hideous fabbers.

They also make a point of tagging themselves in every thread that the others post on or start.

Some people are more invested in what others are doing than they are in talking about themselves and make what others are doing all about them.

Definitely that last bit. The clique

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By *rimal InstinctCouple
47 weeks ago

Carlisle

Hi,

I think if it was more a safety thing and it also happened to me, I would take a friend aside and say, look this happened to me with this person. I would HAVE to give a heads up, but obviously they can make their own mind up. I wouldn't try and stop them or anything stupid like that. But I would feel awful if something happened and I didn't warn them, albeit it's from MY point of view/experience.

The Mr is fairly protective and certainly when it comes to me thinks with his protective Dom mentality, so maybe more liable to call out nasty messages or whatever to me.

Mrs

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By *eli OP Woman
47 weeks ago

"Looking back, I don't believe I have.

In the past I've been warned off people but have always made judgement based on my interaction with the individual in question."

That's the best way to approach it isn't it? In most circumstances anyway. How someone is with one person might not be how they are with you. People say certain things when they're feeling upset or angry and change their mind later but by then you've already heard their grievances.

I think that there can be times when it's sensible to listen but most of the time it's better to take someone for who they are.

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By *eli OP Woman
47 weeks ago

"‘’Ere….you know (Insert Fabber’s name here)? I heard it on good authority that they eat hamsters….’

I don't really like hamsters so that's cool with me. Pass on their name please and thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

No, I've not actively tried to warn anyone off someone. I have told my very closest friends about negative interactions I've had, as well as positive, but that's just me confiding in my Emotional Support Humans and it's a reciprocal thing.

Ultimately, people make up their own minds whatever they may have heard, and my experience with one person isn't a blueprint for how they'll be with someone else. If there is a pattern of dubious behaviour people will soon cotton on without me sending out flyers.

Nell

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By *eli OP Woman
47 weeks ago

"In the group chats we are in we will share usernames of no shows or timewasters.

But we also tell everyone of the good folks so yeah, bit of both."

Isn't that a bit unfair? To be kind of... publicly naming and shaming others like that? It must be irritating and all that but still, is doing that really fair? I don't think so.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

Yes, I have. I was worried that a friend was vulnerable, and that they would be preyed upon.

The friend stopped talking to me, but I hope it stopped them from getting hurt.

The friend has left fab now, but the predator came back on another profile.

Maybe it was seen as gossip, but I did it with good intentions.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
47 weeks ago

Reading

No and tbh if someone was warned off about me and they backed off we wouldn't have been a good match anyway.

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By *irthandgirthMan
47 weeks ago

Camberley occasionally doncaster

Not really. I usually mind my own business. The only exception is I will take heed if I hear that someone partakes of extracurricular substances, in which case I will avoid. With my job I can't afford to associate with that.

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By *layfullsamMan
47 weeks ago

Solihull

Someone is warning every couple and woman not to meet me

That has to be the reason I can’t get a meet

lol

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By *hilloutMan
47 weeks ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

"In the group chats we are in we will share usernames of no shows or timewasters.

But we also tell everyone of the good folks so yeah, bit of both."

Reading this would make me wary of meeting people who actively use forums and fab tools for meeting.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
47 weeks ago

Leeds

I've not been warned off as such but been told stuff about a member/members more giving us a heads up that not everything stays on fab.

Although I don't always believe gossip it came from more than one person it's made me much more wary about people on here & what I share.

Mrs

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By *ags73Man
47 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

I’ve never had a heads up, never had to say either.

I don’t know that many people, so, it’s sort of ‘in theory’

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By *oxy jWoman
47 weeks ago

somerset

word of mouth amongst friend is great away from fab ..quite a big group who warn others of bad apples on fab we all share via email and all claims are backed up with screen shots so its not hearsay or rumours .... its a fantastic way of everyone blocking in a local way those that abuse ...

this came from other groups who are doing this up north ... it works too

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

I actually have had people advise me of individuals here. Only Some of the council has been based on good & sound observation, however as you imagine most remains unwitnessed and therefore unwarranted. I’ll tend make up my own mind anyway and not lean into rumour and emotion.

I’m very luckily that I have had relatively few face to face interactions, & none with those typically cautioned about; my interactions have mainly been with awesome people where we’re still interacting and still figuring each other out; not spilling into conversation of ‘Individuals here’, I like keep it focused on each other. Not perpetuating the cycle, It’s Not good use of our energy.

To that, I have never brought two together as I don’t know that many other individuals here. My circle of influence and blast radius are still relatively small.

I tend to highly value the interactions I get and that anyone choosing to invest their time in conversation with me, is certainly worthy of me investing my time in to them too. Time is the equalising commodity. Not given away freely to those undeserving.

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By *eli OP Woman
47 weeks ago

"Yes, I have. I was worried that a friend was vulnerable, and that they would be preyed upon.

The friend stopped talking to me, but I hope it stopped them from getting hurt.

The friend has left fab now, but the predator came back on another profile.

Maybe it was seen as gossip, but I did it with good intentions. "

I don't think that was gossip in the slightest. We (general) need to stop labelling every discussion about another as gossip. In those circumstances it sounds like you very much did the right thing, x

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By *ot to giggleWoman
47 weeks ago

Coventry

as a rule I am not interested in other people's fall out's etc - and treat individuals how i find them.

I have run a couple of social events, there was a general discussion about someone which was not malicious but revealed some information that was concerning so I did refuse them a place on the next event.

and there was an individual in chat who was doing something on cam which was not only illegal, but would have been instantly arrestable my friend was chatting to them the other day and i had a conversation with her regarding the facts, she blocked them too - the person has been reported but still on fab.

But generally speaking, I would rather make my own mind up

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By *electableicecreamMan
47 weeks ago

The West

I've had the experience of someone on fab telling other people not to meet me. Luckily by that point I was known well enough that no one listened and they let me know what was going on.

I know the reasons but I wouldn't tell the story or name her to anyone as it's just drama and people can make up their own minds.

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By *ynecplCouple
47 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

In general conversation we might have discussed another profile we have met in past. What that person chose to do with that information is up to them. Would say that we like to make our own mind up about others but would be foolish to say we have not been swayed by comments from others.

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By *unchalMan
47 weeks ago

Dartford

"Have you ever warned a Fab friend/lover/fuck off of another person?

Would you listen to another person you were interested in telling you that you shouldn't meet x, y or z?

To add a positive spin - have you encouraged/set up two fabbers? "

Been warned and I ignored them and it was just as they said! I have often had the thought that these two would be great together (based on my fantasy after reading their profiles, of course) would never say anything but…I am in the process of setting up a threesome with a couple of sexy guys because I’m pretty sure we would all get on well together! Does that count as match making but NSA?

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By *amnaughtybutniceWoman
47 weeks ago

tf1

I have a chat with other single women. We all know each other really well, in various combinations go to clubs etc.

We absolutely warn each other. We regularly share the creepy or vile messages one of us gets and we will all block or at least avoid.

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By *ot to giggleWoman
47 weeks ago

Coventry

"I have a chat with other single women. We all know each other really well, in various combinations go to clubs etc.

We absolutely warn each other. We regularly share the creepy or vile messages one of us gets and we will all block or at least avoid.

i think this is lovely - i have a bestie on here and in a group with other women, we do discuss things

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By *edeWoman
47 weeks ago

the abyss

Yes I have but they were a close and trusted person.

I would listen to someone to an extent but not just idle gossip.

I don't really know that many people to set anyone up but I would be more than happy to if I had friends I thought would be good together

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
47 weeks ago

Next Door

Yes, I have been warned off a guy by another female and had nasty messages from a jealous female who we both had met.

Jealous is a powerful thing.

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By *eli OP Woman
47 weeks ago

"word of mouth amongst friend is great away from fab ..quite a big group who warn others of bad apples on fab we all share via email and all claims are backed up with screen shots so its not hearsay or rumours .... its a fantastic way of everyone blocking in a local way those that abuse ...

this came from other groups who are doing this up north ... it works too"

So this is only used if there's solid evidence of someone being abusive? A worry is that it could easily be misused if someone has a particular grievance with one person and create something similar to a witchhunt.

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

"Yes I have but they were a close and trusted person.

I would listen to someone to an extent but not just idle gossip.

I don't really know that many people to set anyone up but I would be more than happy to if I had friends I thought would be good together

This too x

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

this came from other groups who are doing this up north ... it works too"

Sharing screenshots of private conversations and images from fab? That’s definitely something I’d avoid doing and I’d 100% dodge those type of groups and the people who frequent them like the plague…

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By *ags73Man
47 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

"as a rule I am not interested in other people's fall out's etc - and treat individuals how i find them.

But generally speaking, I would rather make my own mind up "

Sounds like valid concerns on both. I suppose you hope in good faith people are okay, but maybe turns out some aren’t

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By (user no longer on site)
47 weeks ago

That's a lot of questions!

I wouldn't warn anyone off anyone else on Fab unless the experience I had was particularly dangerous and felt they should stay away for their own safety but other than that, I would let them decide in their own if a person is worth pursuing as I would hope they would let me do the same.

As far as setting people up goes, it's something I've never done and will probably never do because if it goes pear-shaped, that's on me

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By *ags73Man
47 weeks ago

glasgow-ish

this came from other groups who are doing this up north ... it works too

I’ll admit that’s slightly concerning but I suppose human nature that there’s conversations off fab like that.

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